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Bad Two-Sentence Horror

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WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#2651: Aug 22nd 2025 at 6:43:01 AM

And so, in a clearly obtuse way, the fools began swinging hammers instead.

——

Thirty-two years after his mysterious disappearance, Herbie Kleinfeld knocked on his parents’ door.

ColdOnes It's Mime Time! (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
It's Mime Time!
#2652: Aug 22nd 2025 at 6:46:33 AM

"I'm here to talk about your car's extended warranty," Herbie said.


There's a boot in my fridge!

"If actions speak louder than words then this silent deer never stops talking. His annoying actions will leave you speechless."
NotPeppermint The Friendly Awakened Arcanist, Ulrich from Laplace Scientific Computing Center (Troper Youngling) Relationship Status: Mmmm...chocolate hearts
The Friendly Awakened Arcanist, Ulrich
#2653: Aug 22nd 2025 at 7:40:09 AM

Until I realized… it was an EVIL BOOT…


Oh boy! I just love cheesecake!

Edited by NotPeppermint on Aug 22nd 2025 at 10:40:47 AM

"Enumeration is a last resort... But sometimes, it can work a miracle."
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2654: Aug 22nd 2025 at 8:37:48 AM

Too bad, you're getting beefcake.


Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2655: Aug 22nd 2025 at 8:58:13 AM

I froze in horror, as the boys took my beloved salami and ran off towards the dinner table.


The room was dark, with a texture like freshly frozen ice.

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2656: Aug 22nd 2025 at 8:58:54 AM

[nja][up][up] "But you said you were bringing back oysters from Rocky Mountain!"

[up] So I lit a candle, and before I could scream, the entire ice hotel beneath my feet had melted into the ocean.


I've never seen someone with quite as much conviction as the man staring through my window.

Edited by iwantedtoaddsomething on Aug 22nd 2025 at 12:01:25 PM

Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2657: Aug 22nd 2025 at 1:30:23 PM

The man teleported to my room and killed me.


"Can I sleep in the car tonight, Mom?"

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
TyeDyeWildebeest Unreasonably Quirky from Big Rock Candy Mountain Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: How does it feel to treat me like you do?
Unreasonably Quirky
#2658: Aug 22nd 2025 at 5:13:57 PM

Those were the last words she ever said before she was eaten alive by the glovebox gremlins.


The recipe called for two eggs and a tablespoon of cinnamon.

No beer?! But if there's no beer, then there's no beef or beans!
Tharrb Since: Oct, 2023
#2659: Aug 22nd 2025 at 5:16:17 PM

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have used a table sized spoon

___________________________________________________________________________________

“Come in for dinner sweetie!” My mother cried.

DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2660: Aug 22nd 2025 at 5:30:41 PM

But it was too late, and I got rained on.


Why is my mom alive again?

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Ultimatum Disasturbator from The Wiggle Room (Old as dirt) Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Disasturbator
#2661: Aug 22nd 2025 at 5:33:50 PM

Oh it was dream,nevermind!


I heard a sudden knocking noise

have a listen and have a link to my discord server
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#2662: Aug 22nd 2025 at 7:28:51 PM

It was a troll, swinging his penis into the door.

——

Cyrus would regret picking on Leroy for the rest of his life.

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2663: Aug 22nd 2025 at 10:09:52 PM

Leroy has a demon friend who he sics on people who pick on him!


Lately, nothing's been going my way.

For every low there is a high.
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2664: Aug 23rd 2025 at 8:45:59 PM

Guess I'll head to the highway.


"I wanna scream and shout and let it all out..."

Currently Reading: N/A
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2665: Aug 23rd 2025 at 8:48:29 PM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


I heard a strange clanking noise coming from downstairs.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2666: Aug 24th 2025 at 6:18:13 AM

If that's The Clanker again, I swear to god I'm about to file a noise violation and stop feeding him my cats.


I found some strange lumps all over my body.

magicmundanenice (Troper in training) Relationship Status: That's rough, buddy
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2668: Aug 24th 2025 at 7:36:45 AM

And worse, He's teamed up with Dennis from Adit Sopo Jarwo!!!


How absurd, I exclaimed when faced with the absurdity of the two-sentence horror moderation team, for my horror story contained no more than two sentences, as the rules so helpfully declare, fitting entirely within the constraints of the rules without ever breaking them, and yet it was rejected, as if I had somehow broken these rules in spite of me following them to the letter!

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2669: Aug 24th 2025 at 12:59:36 PM

"Please," they said, slapping the digital handcuffs onto my computer; "If you're going to wring out all you can from a single sentence, at least use some more varied punctuation"; with that, they took me away to Two-Sentence Jail; my cell was right next to — and you're never gonna believe this — Knife Guy.


"Don't view this image or you'll die," psh, what a tall-tale.

Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#2671: Aug 24th 2025 at 1:51:44 PM

Then Creepypasta spongebob appeared and shot blood at them with ultra realistic eyes!

From whom the bells toll...

Edited by Superjohn on Aug 24th 2025 at 3:51:57 AM

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
magicmundanenice (Troper in training) Relationship Status: That's rough, buddy
#2672: Aug 24th 2025 at 5:13:02 PM

Get diarrhea because of Taco Bells


Eating Subway and drinking Coca Cola

Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2673: Aug 24th 2025 at 5:32:42 PM

These are the telltale signs that Dennis from Adit Sopo Jarwo is on the hunt for his next victim.


You're walking in the woods with no one around and your phone dead when, out of the corner of your eye, you spot him.

Edited by Marchen on Aug 24th 2025 at 2:32:55 PM

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2674: Aug 24th 2025 at 5:43:18 PM

It's your dad, and he's not happy about you not being home on time.


Who keeps filling my house with Labubus?

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
magicmundanenice (Troper in training) Relationship Status: That's rough, buddy
#2675: Aug 24th 2025 at 8:14:12 PM

Freaking Lu Bu


Trip to Hungarian with girlfriend


Total posts: 3,063
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