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LackingEff0rt The Hostest with the Mostest from Electric Light Orchestra (The New Guy) Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
The Hostest with the Mostest
#2601: Jul 31st 2025 at 4:23:04 PM

In December.


"Your account has been suspended..."

SHE'S DEFROSTING
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2602: Jul 31st 2025 at 7:36:25 PM

I knew I shouldn't have trolled the support forum for my brand of pacemaker.


Never end a sentence with a preposition.

pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2603: Jul 31st 2025 at 8:25:45 PM

But all my sentences do, in fact, end with prepositions through and through.


Attention all shoppers, the Guns N' Weapons Mall Emporium Place Whatever will close in 15 minutes.

Edited by pyromancingsandwich on Jul 31st 2025 at 11:25:55 PM

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
ColdOnes It's Mime Time! (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
It's Mime Time!
#2604: Jul 31st 2025 at 8:59:07 PM

Everyone leaves the store in a nice and orderly fashion, and there was nothing scary about it at all.


Contestants, your next challenge will be a game of Poker, but with a twist!

"If actions speak louder than words then this silent deer never stops talking. His annoying actions will leave you speechless."
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2605: Aug 1st 2025 at 2:22:26 PM

Losing gets you killed!


I went to church.

For every low there is a high.
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2606: Aug 1st 2025 at 2:26:13 PM

But it's so weird that the crosses are all upside down and there's piles of silver coins everywhere and everyone is chanting about Sata-, wait, oh no, this is actually    EVIL church   !


Huh, I could've sworn that wooden post wasn't there just a second ago...

Edited by Marchen on Aug 1st 2025 at 11:26:46 AM

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2607: Aug 1st 2025 at 2:35:41 PM

As it slashed my throat open with a concealed blade and rushed away into the shadows, I contemplated my error, and only as I lay dying did my lips barely form the words "[up][nja]".


"Who's the new guy?" I asked, pointing to the sulking young man in the corner.

Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2608: Aug 1st 2025 at 5:03:59 PM

"Oh, that's Sulking Sam the Satanist!"


It was around dinner time when the incident happened.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2609: Aug 1st 2025 at 5:06:37 PM

The turkey was contaminated, and I needed to go to the toilet real bad...


I was eating dorito chip when phone rang.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
ColdOnes It's Mime Time! (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
It's Mime Time!
#2610: Aug 1st 2025 at 5:57:01 PM

I choke in chip and nearly dead!!!


"I'm here to spread the good word of Jesus," said the Jehovah's Witness at my door.

"If actions speak louder than words then this silent deer never stops talking. His annoying actions will leave you speechless."
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2611: Aug 2nd 2025 at 6:18:18 AM

I slam the door, knowing that I have no intentions to convert.


I could've sworn I saw The Adolescent That Eats Bone Marrows next to me last week...

Edited by pyromancingsandwich on Aug 2nd 2025 at 9:18:36 PM

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2612: Aug 2nd 2025 at 6:20:46 AM

[up][up] "Yeah, I loved that guy," I say, hoping he won't question the pack of nails on my kitchen table.

[up] It was enough of a spook that I got all my bone marrow removed just in case (I get awfully blushy around dudes who might be into me).


"No, I found it first, it's mine!" she said, tugging it away from me.

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2613: Aug 2nd 2025 at 3:39:30 PM

I hate babysitting my little half-demon cousin!


"How long have you been having these symptoms?" asked the doctor.

For every low there is a high.
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2614: Aug 4th 2025 at 11:23:52 AM

I then died right afterwards.


"Why do the sizes of my words keep changing?"

Currently Reading: N/A
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2615: Aug 4th 2025 at 12:02:08 PM

"It's this new gimmick I'm trying out, though I'm not sure I like it" said words-that-change-size guy, aka, KNIFE GUY!!!


Woah Nelly, this book here sure is neat, bar any last-minute plot twists!

Edited by Marchen on Aug 4th 2025 at 9:02:29 PM

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2616: Aug 4th 2025 at 5:16:37 PM

I forgot the book I was reading was titled "The Last-Minute Plot Twists of Doom".


I'm gonna go for a walk; I sure hope some crazy man doesn't shove me into his car in an attempt to murder me!

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2617: Aug 4th 2025 at 5:31:10 PM

Nobody shoved me into a car...


Today is my first day at McDonald's.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2618: Aug 5th 2025 at 1:38:13 PM

"Oh wow, I have food poisoning now."


"Why can't I sign into my TV Tropes account?"

Currently Reading: N/A
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2619: Aug 5th 2025 at 2:41:01 PM

Because the Data Vampires are attacking!


I need to buy some new shirts.

For every low there is a high.
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2620: Aug 5th 2025 at 7:02:20 PM

Especially ones that don’t say “TV Tropes Fixed My Life”.

——

“Susan, what are you doing here late at night?”

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2621: Aug 5th 2025 at 7:26:26 PM

"It's too late — I know all about your little secret," she said with a smug expression, one hand fervently milking The Creature (who was quite enjoying this and seemed a bit blushy).


It was 2 feet tall, we thought it couldn't pose any threat.

ColdOnes It's Mime Time! (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
It's Mime Time!
#2622: Aug 5th 2025 at 7:30:29 PM

But then it pulled out a Glock.


The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

"If actions speak louder than words then this silent deer never stops talking. His annoying actions will leave you speechless."
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2623: Aug 6th 2025 at 4:16:00 AM

Then, the quick brown fox fell off a cliff.

——

“I swear, it jumped right in front of my truck!”

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2624: Aug 6th 2025 at 6:48:52 PM

It would've worked had my nickname not been Guy Who Deliberately Runs Over Deer.


I can't see anything!

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2625: Aug 10th 2025 at 1:17:54 PM

"Who put duct tape over my eyes?"


"Oh no, I forgot to pay rent this month!"

Currently Reading: N/A

Total posts: 3,063
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