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Bad Two-Sentence Horror

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Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2576: Jul 22nd 2025 at 3:14:52 PM

Just another day in the life of an arsonist.


I went to the library.

For every low there is a high.
Yamanekko Esnupi from atop the red doghouse Since: Sep, 2024 Relationship Status: Whoa, they're bisexual! I didn't know that!
Esnupi
#2577: Jul 22nd 2025 at 7:57:53 PM

Book machine broke.


The duck walked up to the lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand...

Always remember to hydrate! (A message from Snoopy)
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2578: Jul 22nd 2025 at 8:31:48 PM

"GIMME ALL YOUR DUCKING MONEY!!!!"


I entered the    wait woah what happened to the text?   

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2579: Jul 22nd 2025 at 8:38:30 PM

   ...Right, Nether-realm.   


   Hello, Twin.   

[down] OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, TWO PERIODS?!

Edited by pyromancingsandwich on Jul 23rd 2025 at 9:08:04 PM

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
TheScratcher7 it's normal :/ from my personal limbo (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Serial head-patter
it's normal :/
#2580: Jul 23rd 2025 at 6:07:07 AM

   We have met again. Also pls stop taking all of my flipping money.   


Did it really happen or were they pieces thrown around?

Ok im back ... | Check my strawpage :3
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2581: Jul 23rd 2025 at 12:12:03 PM

"I dunno," said the Throwing Pieces Around Killer.


There's ketchup in my burger!

Edited by Mildude on Jul 23rd 2025 at 2:12:15 PM

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2582: Jul 23rd 2025 at 7:46:36 PM

"That's not ketchup," said the Burger Killer. "That's blood, because you ordered it really, really rare."

"Oh, right," I said. I'd already forgotten how, when my waiter asked how I wanted my burger cooked, I said I wanted it "fresh from the slaughterhouse."

"Why did you order it so rare, anyway?" asked the Burger Killer.

I shrugged. "I dunno. Makes me feel cooler."

"Whatever. Anyway, I'm here to kill you."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You're the Burger Killer. You kill people who are getting burgers. Look, let's just get this over with," I said, holding out both of my wrists.

The Burger Killer sighed as he chopped away and I instinctually screamed. "No respect for noun killers these days," he remarked. "No respect."


We've gotten strange readings from our astronomy equipment.

BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#2583: Jul 24th 2025 at 11:00:55 AM

Turns out we forgot to put it through the cleanroom.

My car broke down in the car wash, and it rusted.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2584: Jul 24th 2025 at 12:42:11 PM

Oh cool, a car wash!


" Ugh, why is there so much spoiler fog in this post?"

Currently Reading: N/A
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2585: Jul 24th 2025 at 1:56:47 PM

"It's to bypass the two sentence rule."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. The fog makes all the sentences look blank so nobody will suspect there's more than two of them."

"But won't that create a suspiciously large area of blank space?"

...

"Fuck."


The child on the milk carton looked familiar.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2586: Jul 24th 2025 at 2:00:05 PM

I turned to Dennis from Adit Sopo Jarwo, but he was just chewing his cereal, pretending to not notice as he reached for the knife...


It always seems to get so dark this time of year.

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2587: Jul 24th 2025 at 2:39:10 PM

And that's bad news because the monsters come out when it's dark!


I took a bath.

For every low there is a high.
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2588: Jul 24th 2025 at 2:55:03 PM

[up][up][up]The non-spoilered part of my post is the proper second sentence, and the bad 2-sentence horror story stands up without the spoilered part. The spoilered part is just extra stuff I felt like writing as a subversion/parody of how cliched the resulting bad 2SH ended up being.

[up] Bed & Beyond will have to make do without it.


I distinctly remember there being four chairs at this table.

Edited by iwantedtoaddsomething on Jul 24th 2025 at 6:15:55 AM

dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#2589: Jul 25th 2025 at 11:55:25 AM

All five of them are stacked on top of it...


"First Ozzie Osborne and now Hulk Hogan; who else are we going to lose this week!?"

Edited by dvorak on Jul 25th 2025 at 11:55:48 AM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#2590: Jul 25th 2025 at 4:21:53 PM

OH NO, NOT KNIFE GUY!

This Walmart seems ominous, like someone is going to make a cliche joke....

Edited by Superjohn on Jul 25th 2025 at 6:22:01 AM

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
wingedcatgirl mys. minty from the silly dimension from lurking (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Oh my word! I'm gay!
mys. minty from the silly dimension
#2591: Jul 28th 2025 at 4:33:26 PM

And then a skeleton popped out and the skeleton was you and you forgot that this happened and who was phone full of hyperrealistic blood!!


Man, I hate run-on sentences.

Suddenly I'm... still rotating Fallen London in my mind even though I've stopped actively playing it.
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2592: Jul 28th 2025 at 4:44:37 PM

They run on and on and on and on-


I encountered a chicken while riding a train...

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
ZeTropeGuy999 Cyn from Uzi’s tail (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: In bed with a green-skinned space babe
Cyn
#2593: Jul 29th 2025 at 1:44:25 AM

It said it got tired of crossing the road!


I think the new girl at school might be a werewolf...

And also, that’s- Sarcasm
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2594: Jul 29th 2025 at 5:26:11 AM

...That, or she's insanely hairy.


Driving in my car right after a beer —hey, that bump looks a lot like a deer...

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2595: Jul 29th 2025 at 5:43:43 AM

Turns out I ran over Alastor from Hazbin Hotel!


Everywhere I go... I see his face...

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
skan123 Since: Aug, 2018
#2596: Jul 29th 2025 at 10:16:00 AM

The new Burger King Mascot is cree-py!


Where's my car?

Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2597: Jul 29th 2025 at 1:45:34 PM

"I dunno," said the Car Disintegrator


My mom has been acting strange lately.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2598: Jul 29th 2025 at 2:50:27 PM

I hope the new baby she's been saying she's pregnant with isn't gonna be the Antichrist!


Is there a cat outside?

For every low there is a high.
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2599: Jul 31st 2025 at 3:55:41 PM

Yes, and he's hungry.


"What happened to all of the money in my bank account?"

Currently Reading: N/A
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2600: Jul 31st 2025 at 4:17:28 PM

BUUUUURP!


They already have Halloween stuff at my local store.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God

Total posts: 3,063
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