Professionally unprofessional.
Arita takes a seat as instructed by the board and lays back in her chair, relaxing as she smokes. Was doing so bad etiquette? Likely, but it was just her right now, what was the harm in it?
So I'll finally be able to start paying off my debt once my first paycheck rolls in, huh? That’ll be nice. Those debt collectors can be scary if you leave them waiting for too long. She thought to herself, tapping one of her feet against the floor.
AI with access to the console
A horned shadow with golden hair and a wicked grin enters the room.
“Hm? Ah i see I seem to not be first again. Oh well it seems we have something in common.” Says the horned shadow.
The horned shadow takes a seat next to other fixer.
“My name is Aru.” Says Aru
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
Luck roll Arita: LUCK [4] * DICE [6] = 24
Luck roll Aru: LUCK [2] * DICE [4] = 8
Arita sits down in a chair that, while looking uncomfortable, is actually surprisingly comfortable. Aru sits down in a chair that manages to be almost but not quite as uncomfortable as it appears. Aru's chair creaks alarmingly but doesn't break.
An overweight man in his mid-fifties enters the office. He's smoking a large cigar. "Hmm.... well, I'm sure the rest of the team will catch up later." he says. He stubs the cigar out in a large ash tray. "I'm Johny-B-GUD. We have a desperate need to transport a large storage container of the cleaning solvent Oxidane to sector AOK."1 He takes out a red folder and places it on the side of the desk closest to you. "I'm sure I don't have to warn you about all the health issues concerning Oxidane or how much various traitor organizations like the Min-Mad-Maxers would want to capture the Oxidane for themselves. The three of you can go get your equipment and then report down to Transportation and Logistics to pick up the truck for your mission."
He takes out a handful of plastic badges from a drawer and sets them on top of the folder. "You will need to select an Equipment Officer and a Loyalty Officer. As the highest ranked member of the team, Seymour-O-WUD will be Team Leader."
1: AOK ranks slightly below Sector GUD in quality surveys but still above sector BAD.
Edited by Nodrog on Apr 21st 2021 at 12:39:41 PM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
Professionally unprofessional.
Arita turns to Aru "Nice to meet you Aru, I'm Arita." She says with a half smile on her face, planning on offering a cigarette but then being interrupted by the arrival of Johnny-B-GUD and diverting her attention to him.
"Understood, anything else we need to know before we head down there?" Arita asks, partially hoping they'd get in a fight so she could shoot some traitors, or just have an excuse to fight in general. It was quite fun, even if it did usually result in injury.
Johny frowns and taps the folder. "As I just said, I'm sure I don't have to tell you anything more. Everything you need to know is in the mission folder. If you have any questions after looking over the contents of the folder, you can ask your Team Leader or use your PDC1 to contact Friend Computer. Now bugger off, some of us have real work to do."
Johny leans back in his chair, puts his feet up on the corner of the desk, and takes another deep puff of his cigar.
1: PDC: Personal Digital Companion, a clunky handheld device about the size of a gameboy. Similar in many ways to the late twentieth century cell phones.
Edited by Nodrog on Apr 21st 2021 at 12:47:07 PM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
“And I suppose it involves figuring out what the buttons on your console do again?” Says Aru As she picks up the mission file and begins readings.
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
Johny ignores what Aru says, busy communing with his cigar. Aru picks up the folder and the three laminated plastic badges. One says 'Equipment Officer', one says 'Loyalty Officer', and one says 'Team Leader'. Each badge has a lanyard, with the Team Leader lanyard being noticeably smaller then the other two. Aru flips open the folder, seeing what it contains.
Edited by Nodrog on Apr 21st 2021 at 1:03:46 PM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
Aru passes the file and the badge for equipment officer to Arita
“Have fun with the paperwork” says aru as she pulls out her pda and requests what a loyalty officer is.
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
Aru presses the button for general information search. The PDC responds in a light, synthesized voice.
"Loyalty Officer: The Loyalty Officer is charged with ensuring her or his team's loyalty to Friend Computer by watching for all potentially treasonous activities, recording them, and reporting them after the mission to Friend Computer. -ding- This answer has been sponsored by Bubbly Bouncy Beverage, now in new Brown Tingle Cola Flavor, featuring the new secret ingredient from High Programmer The_Terror. Why not try a refreshing Bubbly Bouncy Beverage today?"
Inside the folder are three forms and a torn slip of paper. The bottom two forms are requisition forms; one filled out for the Logistics Department for one standard transport truck and a container of Oxidane, and the other requisition form made out for PLC Outfitting. The PLC form is mostly blank, for the Equipment Officer to finish filling out. The top form is a mission form, for a team led by Seymour-O-WUD to transport a large storage container of Oxidane to Sector AOK. The torn slip of paper has a hastily scrawled hand written message:
Infrared Market at 508-81-701. Tell no one. - A friend.
Edited by Nodrog on Apr 21st 2021 at 5:37:08 AM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
“I suppose we should go ahead and get about to delivering that container of dihydrogen monoxide, I guess certainly a most dangerous chemical after all.” Aru says as she gets back
“Let us go meet our team leader my cigarette chomping friend.”
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
As you walk to the door, Johny-B-GUD speaks up. "You shouldn't leave without your team leader."
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
Professionally unprofessional.
Arita took the equipment leader file and put the badge on. Equipment management should be fairly easy. Just match a face with a gun or something like that. Piece of cake.
"Yeah, let's." Arita said, heading to the door as well before the stop from Johnny. "Well, where is our team leader?" Arita asks, kind of just wanting to go ahead and shoot traitors.
Johny points to the wooden lawn gnome."There's your team leader, Seymour-O-WUD, a highly decorated officer."
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
“You know I think that’s probably the most creative good luck charm I’ve ever seen before” Aru says as she grabs the gnome.
“Welp let us see to the mission” as she walks out the office.
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
A loud bell rings through the room. A panel in the ceiling slides back and a robot arm extends from the opening, carrying a large LCD panel screen. On the screen appears the image of a large, round eyeball. A synthesized voice speaks, filling the room with enough reverb to cause the floor to shake.
Attention, Citizen Aru-R-DVL. Why are you disrespecting your team leader and superior-ranked citizen, Citizen Seymour-O-WUD?
Edited by Nodrog on Apr 30th 2021 at 6:13:02 AM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
Aru turns around to face the screen
"That comment was meant as a compliment as any mission graced by a citizen of higher rank is good luck"
Edited by Immortalartisan on Apr 30th 2021 at 4:47:34 AM
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
It is disrespectful to assume that the benefit of his presence is due to 'luck' rather then a combination of his innate talents and experience. Luck does not exist, citizen. It is just a perceived anthromorphization of chaos theory.
"Absolutely correct, Friend Computer." Johny-B-GUD says, hastily shoving a horseshoe and a stuffed rabbit's foot into a desk drawer.
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
"I simply thought I didn't need to acknowledge their skill." Aru says gently setting the gnome back down on the table
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
A compliment a day keeps the treasonous thoughts away, citizen. *ding* You are hereby demoted from Team Loyalty Officer to Team Hygiene Officer. A new loyalty officer has been assigned to your team.
Johny-B-GUD opens a lower desk drawer, takes out a Sanitation Officer badge and a box of Genuine-Artificial-Lemon-Scented Sani-Wipes, and hands them to Aru.
Johny hangs the Team Leader lanyard around the wooden lawn gnome's neck. You notice the wooden lawn gnome's face is carved with a big smile, teeth slightly apart. Johny takes out a cigar, wedges it between Seymour's teeth, and lights it.
Edited by Nodrog on Apr 30th 2021 at 1:57:09 PM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
Another panel opens in the ceiling and what appears to be a metal phone booth drops down from the ceiling, landing on the floor. What appears to be a metal antenna array, patched with bubble gum, is on top of the booth. The door of the booth opens to reveal Rosey Quorra.
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
As Rosey steps out of the phone booth, she quickly looks around the office before turning to look at who she assumes to be three other sanitation technicians assigned to the same mission and gives a slight bow to them. "Hello there. I am Rosey-R-ROB, um personal designation Rosey. I am eager to work with you on this task that Friend Computer has determined we would be the best choices for."
Despite Rosey sounding pleasant, it is clear that their is something off with the way she speaks. Her tone just sounds slightly weird, like something is missing.
Edited by Ultralight4 on May 1st 2021 at 11:58:03 AM
Johny-B-Gud checks his schedule. "Time for my next important appointment." he announces. He then reaches into a desk drawer and takes out a pair of nail trimmers, then begins unlacing his boots.
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!
AI with access to the console
"so who wants to drive the truck?" Aru says while checking her apron
"I have a spare bottle of beer for who ever doesn't though im pretty sure there is only one other person who can drink here."
Edited by Immortalartisan on May 2nd 2021 at 5:23:56 AM
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
Rosey looks over at the gnome being carried by the horned shadow, before looking back up to said horned shadow. "Why cant Seymour-O-WUD drink? Does he have a medical condition that prohibits the reckless act of drinking? Or are you taking about the other girl."
She looks over towards the gunslinger. "Oh that's right. The brief description I got never included your two names. Would you mind filling in that missing info so i can properly address you two girls in a personal manner?"
Edited by Ultralight4 on May 2nd 2021 at 11:20:28 AM
Sign Up Thread
Data Thread
Alpha Complex is the last bastion of humanity1. This massive arcology is the refuge for the human species, watched over and guarded by the benevolent and all wise Friend Computer. Alpha Complex is a gleaming monument of technology and human ingenuity in the face of a worldwide catastrophe2. To keep that monument gleaming, Friend Computer relies on a vast army of Sanitation Technicians, chosen from the most
elite...average...specially qualified3 citizens.Our story begins in the office of Johny-B-GUD, the head for the Sanitation Department for Sector GUD4. His office is a large office, with half the office decorated in various shades of blue, with a magnificent desk of Faux-Mahogany in the middle of the room along with a massive stuffed chair. The other half is painted red, with one comfortable looking wooden chair and several uncomfortable looking chairs. In the comfortable looking chair is a small wooden lawn gnome, painted so it appears to be wearing a bright orange jumpsuit.
Upon entering the room, you are greeted by a recorded message:
1: Any other bastions are occupied by traitors, terrorists, mutants, or some strange hybrid of traitorous, mutated traitors. As such, they do not count as humanity.
2: Details of the catastrophe are above your security clearance, but you may assume the catastrophe is also a monument of technology and human ingenuity.
3: The main qualification for being a Sanitation Technician is a lack of qualifications for any other position.
4: Sector GUD ranks #314 of rankings of similar sectors, considerably above sector BAD but nowhere near the ratings of sector GR8.
Edited by Nodrog on May 3rd 2021 at 9:41:12 AM
Paranoia - The Most Fun You Can Have With Deadly Lasers!