ITT: We All Live In Florida

It is a normal day in the oceanside town of Swampwater, Florida. The sun is shining, people are going about their days, and there is yet another civil danger alert blasting on Madame Butterfly Knife's phone as she chases after a guy and his alligator with a machete on the beach.

"Ugh. These things are annoying." She turns the alert off on her phone and keeps running at the guy. "Hey asshole! Come back over here!"

this is basically a stupid itt that is fully based upon the Only in Florida trope. basically we live in florida and do stupid florida shit

"chiP CHIP CHEERIOOOOOOO~!" A parachute is seen im the sky as the person wearing it unbuckled it. It's Kay, and she' now falling towards the sky directly towards the alligator, ready to Hulk-Slam it.

Edited by KingOfStickers on Aug 4th 2020 at 4:42:18 PM

"HOLY FUCK!" Knfie dives out of the way of Kay as he falls on top of the gator.

The man screams. "NOT MY FUCKING GATOR!!!!!!!!" He pulls out a katana. "This is WAR!"

The two of them begin fighting as the gator begins squirming at Kay.

Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Aug 4th 2020 at 11:46:20 AM

Lindo, Knife’s dimwitted neighbor, hears the commotion outside and steps out, with her rifle loaded and hideous palm tree shirt tucked in.

“Knife, that’s the third gator you’ve riled up this week. I can’t keep buying gunpowder like it’s palm tree shirts!”

And in one shot, the gator’s history.

Edited by Lindo-Honorindo on Aug 4th 2020 at 9:01:56 AM

Knife finally gets the upper hand on the gator's owner and throws him onto the street so she can argue with Lindo.

"Hey, I never asked you to shoot the gators for me! I can handle this! I had it under control!" She picks up the gator's corpse and begins harvesting its teeth.

"Oh, come on! It was nothin' personal, I just needed enough dinner for my twenty-seven kids and you brought it right to me."

Lindo pulls her machete out from her belt and decapitates the gator. "I'll let you have the teeth, but I get the rest."

Leaf steps out of her condo, looking disoriented. "Who wants to help me use this palm frond to rob a gas station?

"I'm down. Don't have anything better to do. Are you doing the one on Orange and Main? They fired me last week because apparently you're not supposed to allow 13 year olds to huff gasoline and light cigarettes at once."

"I'll leave you to it. KIDS! WE'RE EATIN' TONIGHT!!" Lindo waves the gator corpse behind her like a banner as she runs back into her shack.

Kay pulls out a cricket bat and aims it towards the man. "BACK IN ENGLAND WE ALL USE CRICKET BATS!!"

"AND SAVE A PIECE FOR MEE!!" She says to Lindo.

Edited by KingOfStickers on Aug 4th 2020 at 5:56:05 PM

Custard runs out out, still holding cups full of suspicious chemicals.

"Bitch what the fuck?"

The guy slides back. "What the fuck? I was just walking my gator? Can you guys please let me go, I have to get to work at the mayor's office."

Knife is trying to get her derelict car started, but all she has achieved is playing some punk music that she made in her bathroom on the stereo. Really, really bad punk music. "Kay, Custard, you wanna rob that gas station with me and Leaf?"

Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Aug 4th 2020 at 1:02:10 PM

Kay nods. "Just lemme grab this guy's katana first!" As she said that, she attempted to swipe the mans katana.

"Sorry," Custard says, "I'm trying to see if I can put more tango and cash in with the speed."

"You know, if you want weapons, you could just ask me. I got plenty. I got machetes, I got swords, I got knives, I got that one really cool guitar I built that's part sword and shoots fire, just ask me!"

A Man in Black riding a white Ferrari arrives and lays out a red carpet before opening the door and letting everyone's favourite two year old drug empress, Molly Mari Juana or MMJ, step out and waddles to the people with her bodyguards

"Hewo mothwafuckas"

Edited by ElenaOkami on Aug 4th 2020 at 4:13:33 PM

Kay's eyes lit up. "Really!? Do I have to pay you or something?"

"Just pay me in booze or cocaine or weed or something like that. Speaking of:" She jestures at MMJ. "Do you have weed?"

MMJ shows her packet of weed "Always. I don't do giveaways though. Not since I heard the news that some idiots snorted me mama"

"Uhh I don't have any drugs since I'm not a Floridan, but I can give you some interesting reptilian eyes from the UK!"

MMJ rolles her toddler eyes "Not drugs you idiot! I already have plenty of those!"

Kay has a dumbfounded look on his British eyes. "I was talking to Knife but ok."

"Alright, you English fuck. I'll take the eyes." She takes the bag of eyes and hands Kay a tacky, blood covered rainbow knife. "Anyways, let's hit up that gas station."

Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Aug 4th 2020 at 1:49:47 PM

Kay grabs a pair of reptilian eyes from his pocket. The eyes look at Knife as Kay takes the tacky rainbow knife.

"Thank yooou~. Ok, I'm ready!"

Edited by KingOfStickers on Aug 4th 2020 at 6:54:18 PM

"WAIT FOR ME!" [Cutbug does a cannonball out from a window in their attic, landing in a bush. They scramble to get out of it before running up to Knife and Kay.] "Sorry about the scare. Um... can I join you?"

Edited by KungFuCutBug on Aug 4th 2020 at 1:55:04 PM