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May 5th 2020 at 10:19:48 AM

Puma Loosetrigger, an anthropomorphic puma, swings open the doors to the Fool's Gold Tavern in the town of Skull Gulch.

The walls of the tavern contain several Wanted posters for the man who has been terrorizing the West for years. He's got a curly black mustache and a wicked grin. The posters read:

WANTED: Minigun Mike

For several counts of murder, robbery, property damage, and one count of jaywalking.

Dead or alive. Reward: $500,000

The tavern is filled with people and creatures of all kinds. Puma recognizes some, but not all of them. To get their attention, he cracks his bullwhip. He used to have a gun, but he is banned from using one due to some... accidental past incidents. Nobody was hurt, though.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Puma announces. "Today's the day. The mayor has finally given me permission to purchase my own wagon. I intend to find the secret lair of Minigun Mike and finally bring him to justice. But I can't do it alone. I need a brave group of volunteers to help me save the West. Who's with me?"

Clarification: This is based on Taco's "Great TV Tropes Road Trip" thread, where the events aren't too planned... although I've spent more time thinking about just this post than I probably should have. :P Anyway, like most rp threads here, your character can be anything, as long as it's not too OP. Also, you decide whether or not your character already knows Puma.

Send in the clowns.
CustardAndPie Ain't got no tears left to cry from in my mind Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Ain't got no tears left to cry
May 5th 2020 at 10:25:55 AM

A high-class-looking woman in a light pink bustle gown leaps up from her table, her delicate gloved hands grasping a mug of beer.

"Fuck yes, Puma! Was wonderin' when we'd get the hell outta town!"

Edited by CustardAndPie on May 5th 2020 at 10:34:49 AM

Hey, how you doin' well I'm doin' just fine I lied I'm dying inside
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
May 5th 2020 at 10:30:23 AM

A prairie dog is tending bar, wiping shot-glasses with a little handkerchief. He scoffs at the notion. ďPuh-lease. As ifín you folks are gonna turn out to be great bounty hunters of the West

Huzzah
Bluethorn Fire badger from Spiral Mountain Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Fire badger
May 5th 2020 at 10:34:40 AM

Bluethorn, who is a small anthropomorphic gecko in this world, is sitting at the bar and looks up upon seeing Puma enter the tavern.

"That's great news, Puma!" he says. "I'd like to come with you."

A signature or something
kablammin45 Obligatory from Foxfell Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Obligatory
May 5th 2020 at 10:47:46 AM

(A vest and belt-clad pronghorn antelope sitting at the bar listens to what Puma has to say before looking at the posters around the tavern. He thinks for a moment before turning to Puma.) Well, I got nothin' better to do, so I'd be glad to join you if ya don't mind havin' me. How soon you wanna git after this varmint?

"The funny thing is that we don't even use yall's calendar in our world, so my sisters and I's Theme Naming doesn't actually make any sense!"
WilliamRadarStorm Me, ca. 1957. from The Beat Generation memorial museum. Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Me, ca. 1957.
May 5th 2020 at 10:56:00 AM

Wild-Eye William, who has up to this point been playing the Gold's notoriously-out-of-tune piano, abruptly stops playing and follows Puma to the wagon.

'Bout bloody time...

Beat Nick, beatnik in bleak knickers beating nickels to the beat of a bleeting beet.
May 5th 2020 at 11:11:13 AM

"Soon... just a sec," Puma says to the antelope. He turns to the prarie dog.

"Now hold your horses, mister. What makes you so sure we can't do it?"

Send in the clowns.
Afterwards the cake is an alternative fact from Where Nothing Gathers Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
the cake is an alternative fact
May 5th 2020 at 11:24:26 AM

Suddenly a dark shadow passes over the tavern. A pair of threatening high heels appears in the slot beneath the doorway, and an equally threatening traditional sombrero looms over it.

The bearer of the heeled boots and the sombrero steps into the tavern, slowly, as confrontational Wild West music starts to slowly creep in from the background.

The figure is wearing a leather vest and a pair of assless chaps. He bears no undershirt, though he does have a large and incredibly long pink scarf, as well as a pair of hot pink booty shorts that say 'JUICY' on the back.

The man carries a peculiar-looking gun. By all means it looks like a regular handgun, but it is simply enormous - the holster hangs off of his belt like a third leg.

Peeking out from the base of the sombrero are a pair of large black cat ears, and jutting out from his lower abdomen is a long black cat tail.

"That would be me," he says in response to Puma's question. "I'm the Great Bounty Hunter of the West, and I won't be letting no one get their filthy hands on that bounty before I do. If you wish to catch this criminal, you'll have to go through me first. For you see...."

"The enemy of my enemy-" he cocks his pistol dramatically, "-is also my enemy."

Edited by Afterwards on May 5th 2020 at 2:50:13 PM

A full course meal on the Holy Night! The last supper, Ultima Cena!
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
May 5th 2020 at 11:25:55 AM

ďHeh heh heh. Heís why. What do a scrap of nobodies like you got against a serious man of the Untamed West like him?Ē

Huzzah
Bluethorn Fire badger from Spiral Mountain Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Fire badger
May 5th 2020 at 11:28:15 AM

"Hey, that's not how the saying goes!" says Bluethorn. "Why can't we work together?"

A signature or something
WilliamRadarStorm Me, ca. 1957. from The Beat Generation memorial museum. Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Me, ca. 1957.
May 5th 2020 at 11:33:25 AM

Wild-Eye says nothing. He simply walks right up to this new stranger, and looks him dead in the eye.

You wanna take that chance? His tone is almost completely deadpan, and his volume is just barely above a whisper.

Beat Nick, beatnik in bleak knickers beating nickels to the beat of a bleeting beet.
johannes4123 Nomming kitten from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
Nomming kitten
May 5th 2020 at 11:33:54 AM

A man sitting the bar puts down his glass and walks out before walking back in with a hatchet

"Fifty bucks says I can do a better job than pinky over there"

Edited by johannes4123 on May 5th 2020 at 8:40:43 PM

sample text
kablammin45 Obligatory from Foxfell Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Obligatory
May 5th 2020 at 11:40:52 AM

(The pronghorn mutters something about show-offs before addressing the bartender.) Well, fer one thing, we outnumber him unless he's got some posse I don't know about.

"The funny thing is that we don't even use yall's calendar in our world, so my sisters and I's Theme Naming doesn't actually make any sense!"
GoldenCityBird Day 150 from the UK
Day 150
May 5th 2020 at 11:44:52 AM

A short, stocky hare looks up from his whiskey, shocked. "Porca vacca," he grumbles, before entering the group, his hand ready to draw his six-shooter. "I'm warning y'all - one false step and you're six feet under by sundown, mi senti?"

...Were you suddenly aware...
May 5th 2020 at 11:48:50 AM

"Woah, woah, everyone simmer down," Puma says mostly to cat-eared boi and the hare, drawing his whip. "Besides, y'all don't wanna mess with me and my friends. I'm so dangerous, they won't even let me use a gun! Just look at that there first post."

Edited by DrNoPuma on May 5th 2020 at 2:53:21 PM

Send in the clowns.
Afterwards the cake is an alternative fact from Where Nothing Gathers Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
the cake is an alternative fact
May 5th 2020 at 11:52:28 AM

The man raises his eyebrow at the various responses.

"It's a dog eat dog world out there," the man says with fake solemnity to Bluethorn. "And I'm not just gonna let anyone take my place as top dog." His cat ears twitch as he says this.

"So, it seems yall're itchin' for a fight. As an honorable man, I am only contractually required to oblige."

He points dramatically at Puma. "You."

"You're the leader, yea? I challenge you to a duel at sunset. Then we'll see who is strongest."

A full course meal on the Holy Night! The last supper, Ultima Cena!
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
May 5th 2020 at 11:56:31 AM

ďHoo hoo hoo! Iím willing to bet just about everything on the feller in the booty shorts. The bar and all! Anyone wanna take those odds?!Ē

Huzzah
Bluethorn Fire badger from Spiral Mountain Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Fire badger
May 5th 2020 at 11:59:37 AM

"H-hey!" says Bluethorn, stepping towards the cat-eared man. "If you want to pick a fight with someone, pick a fight with me!"

A signature or something
Afterwards the cake is an alternative fact from Where Nothing Gathers Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
the cake is an alternative fact
May 5th 2020 at 12:05:11 PM

As the bartender makes his bet, and the little gecko makes his plea, a wicked smile creeps across the man's face.

"As you wish, lil' man. And I'll take those odds. In fact, I'm so confident in my abilities; if I lose, not only will I back off, I'll even work together with yall like this lil' frog-man wishes. How's that sound?"

A full course meal on the Holy Night! The last supper, Ultima Cena!
johannes4123 Nomming kitten from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
Nomming kitten
May 5th 2020 at 12:05:48 PM

"Listen, we outnumber and outgun you, just put that thing down and walk away before you get yourself hurt"

sample text
Bluethorn Fire badger from Spiral Mountain Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Fire badger
May 5th 2020 at 12:07:24 PM

"Y-yeah, that's fine! I'll do it!" says Bluethorn.

A signature or something
WilliamRadarStorm Me, ca. 1957. from The Beat Generation memorial museum. Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Me, ca. 1957.
May 5th 2020 at 12:08:59 PM

Boastful morons, the lot of you. If you need to constantly brag about good you are...

Wild-Eye pulls out his pistol and shoots the nail holding up a wanted poster in the back of the saloon. The nail is completely gone, and the paper, by law of dramatic effect, falls to the floor landing at the barkeep's feet.

...then you ain't good enough.

Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on May 5th 2020 at 3:09:14 PM

Beat Nick, beatnik in bleak knickers beating nickels to the beat of a bleeting beet.
May 5th 2020 at 12:09:55 PM

"Wait, Bluethorn! Don't do this! Y'all don't have to-" Puma is interrupted by the gunshot. He's stunned into silence.

Send in the clowns.
Afterwards the cake is an alternative fact from Where Nothing Gathers Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
the cake is an alternative fact
May 5th 2020 at 12:10:05 PM

(EDIT: oops i meant to edit this post but i ended up making a new post instead,,, carry on)

Edited by Afterwards on May 5th 2020 at 3:14:28 PM

A full course meal on the Holy Night! The last supper, Ultima Cena!
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
May 5th 2020 at 12:11:49 PM

ďHeh heh heh, youíre dead meat, Gecko. But come on now, anyone gonna take me on my bet. I wanna see if I can win something off you suckers today!Ē

In response to the gunshot, the Prairie Dog ducks behind the bar momentarily, before standing back up. ďAY! No shootiní in my establishment!Ē

Edited by TacoBadger on May 5th 2020 at 2:12:41 PM

Huzzah

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