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But Superjohn would misjudge the speed of the taxi, accidentally running in front of it and getting killed BBK had nothing to do wit this, be he takes the pizza nonetheless.
Mad uses the power of being really confused over her gender today in order to take the pizza from BBK. She runs off into a pineapplecopter and flies away.
Edited by madface7 on Dec 4th 2020 at 7:42:32 AM
The pineapplecopter doesn't go far, as R3 quickly jumps onto the helicopter and punches Mad out. R3 then takes the pizza as they're falling. This is really easy because the gravity on Pluto is 0.62 m/s². Yeah, we're still on Pluto, remember?
BBK realizes that they’re still on Pluto and takes a moment to wonder. Does Pluto have a hell? He suplexes R3 into Pluto hell, grabbing the pizza as they both go down.
Meanwhile at Charon, MP is currently conversing with Charon, the ferryman of The Underworld, to discuss MP's deal to reap peoples' souls to Hell in exchange for Charon's assistance. MP agrees, and as such, kills BBK. However, just before MP can send the soul to the River Styx, PM appears, who had made a similar deal with Komachi Onozuka. They end up ripping BBK's soul in half, one half being sent to the River Styx, and the other being sent to the Sanzu River. MP and PM happily enjoy their pizza together.
. . . Only to see several long shadows on the horizon, and realize too late what has occurred.
Vjoi appears over the horizon having stolen The entire US Naval fleet!
Hello, I'll be taking that.
with that Vjoi uses a grappling hook to steal the pizza.
''His prize secured Vjoi snaps his fingers causing the fleet to fire, He calmly takes it to his desk in the captains room as the cannons continue roaring.
Wait, I'm still leader of the government-in-exile, right?
...I wasn't there for that, but I think so.
Florien, remembering that they still technically are commander of the US army, even though the last time that came up was pages ago, sees a chance.
Hey, Admirals of the fleet, Vjoi is a criminal! Arrest him immediately!
Surprisingly, this works. Vjoi is arrested and thrown into the brig, and Florien and Florian sail off in an aircraft carrier with the Pizza.
Bluethorn infiltrates the aircraft carrier by landing onto it with a parachute, takes the pizza, and escapes on a lifeboat.
For the next few hours, Bluethorn's lifeboat escape goes unnoticed and he manages to make it to shore!
...to The Compound, somewhere on the east coast of Russia. And to make matters worse, said lifeboat looks uncannily similar to the motorboats in the dock (one of which Bluethorn happens to pass by on his way in).
Wm, now dressed as a guard and in a wheelchair, and mW, also dressed as a guard and operating said wheelchair, initially greet Bluethorn when he hits shore...
Oh hey, Gordon. How was trip to family?
Wait a minute! YOU'RE NOT GORDON!
mW promptly sounds the alarm and a dozen other armed guards come outside and arrest Bluethorn for trespassing. Wm takes advantage of this to confiscate the pizza.
One shift change later, Wm and mW are about to split a pizza between them...
Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Dec 5th 2020 at 3:07:22 AM
Before a clone of Yayakuza with only half of his soul named Yakuza lassos it and steals it. He prepares to eat it before coming to a realisation.
“Why are we doing this? Wasting every day of our lives pointlessly chasing a pizza. This pizza has done nothing for us. This pizza has killed us all multiple times! We could just split it, or buy some more, or do anything other that fight over this pizza...but we don’t. Instead we continue this vicious cycle of death and destruction and pizza that never ends. At this point, we aren’t living. At least, not for ourselves. We’re living for this pizza. This pizza that isn’t even hot anymore because we’ve been fighting over it for so damn long. We’ve made friends under this pizza. Traveled through dimensions under this pizza. We’ve killed each other under this pizza...but now it must end. I hope that I will be able to kill this pizza once and for all. I hope I will be able to save all our souls.”
Yakuza opens the pizza box upside down, letting the pizza fall face own on the ground. He sheds a single tear before walking away, hoping he had finally ended this pizza war once and for all.
Mad is like "no fuck you that's not gonna happen. My predecessor tried that and it didnt work, at all."
She takes the pizza from off the ground. Still looks good.
THE WAR IS UNENDING
And if it isn't, we'll start it again.
Florien and Florian launch Intercontinental Ballistic missiles at Mad. They have no warheads, but they are very heavy so they crush her anyway.
Florien and Florian steal the Pizza from the Mad-paste-puddle and make their escape to Petroleum County Montana.
...this is a war? I always pictured it as a really, really long Looney Tune.
The camera then pans across Petroleum County, Montana to reveal Wm, now dressed as Dan Backslide and sitting in the stolen runabout, driving straight for the Florie/ans. To drive home the cartooniness of it all, the camera cuts back and forth to demonstrate how slow the runabout actually moves, how long the distance between it and the Florie/ans are, and how long they jointly have to just dodge the fucking car... but because Rule of Funny, they get hit anyway. Complete with bowling pin sound effects!
Wm gets out of the car. I mean seriously, my legs were blown off a page ago, and now I can walk again? If this is a war, it's a very silly and inconsequential one!
Wm puts the pizza in the runabout. Which then takes off without him, driving into...
"Wait, this is war? ...ok. By the way, ever heard of a microwave?"
...R3 now has a copy of Forza Horizon 3, and in one of the cars. The car the pizza is in crashes into his Tesla, which flies backward without any sign of damage to the car or R3. The car the pizza is in, however, is damaged, and the windshield is broken. R3 uses this opportunity to grab the pizza, then climbs back in his car. He forgot to lock his doors, though, which is used to the advantage of...
the cars in forza horizon are indestructible if you use the right settings, and the driver can't die
Edited by R3Ked on Dec 6th 2020 at 11:38:06 AM
The other half of Ya Yakuza’s soul, this time named Ya, who rips open the unlocked drivers door and takes the pizza. Yakuza is still angst if in the corner so Ya just books it in the opposite direction.
MP triggers a nuclear minefield under the road where Ya's car is driving, incinerating both Ya and their car. MP grabs the pizza from the nuclear wasteland that used to be Montana.
MP: Who cares? This is a world where you can come back from the dead! Death is hilarious!
Superjohn sics a demonic rabbit on MP, who eat them alive. John then takes the pizza and teleports to a movie studio.
Ya’s charred body claws it’s way from the wreckage of his car, making his way to the movie studio. He pretends to be a zombie extra in a horror movie and bites Superjohn in the neck, killing him. He prepares to eat the pizza, but is interrupted by Yakuza who tackles him.
“This pizza will die!”
“You do not understand, this pizza can’t die!” The fight pauses momentarily as Ya explains their predicament to Yakuza. “No matter what we do, we will never defeat this pizza. This pizza will live on as long as someone wants it. The only thing we can do...”
“Is get that pizza.” Yakuza finishes the sentence of his other half somberly. “So we are doomed?”
“No. Because someday, this pizza will get got.” With that in mind both halves sit on either side of the pizza and wait for the next trooper to take it.
Edited by Yayakuza on Dec 6th 2020 at 4:40:00 AM
Sylvi just walks by and yoinks the pizza.
"What? All they were doing was watching."
Wm, who is now dressed as that drama teacher you had in high school, yells CUT! and starts giving John, Ya, Yakuza, and on-set acting tips. [[gray: Great delivery, both of you, but what is your motivation?
Because Wm himself is acting as a bad acting teacher, he is completely ignoring the perfectly good pizza, which is promptly striked* Which here means "taken offstage," but if you want to misinterpret it for comedic effect, I won't stop you. by a familiar stagehand. The stagehand puts it in the backstage refrigerator for safekeeping. "Safekeeping" that is about as safe as a jail made of cardboard, as it turns out... BECAUSE THE TIMELINE ABORTS!
Wm, now dressed as a Prima Donna Director, yells "CUT! You're ruining my vision, you cat!! I'm trying to make a great piece of art, and you're just wandering on set and taking pizzas randomly!"
This ranting continues for quite a few seconds, before Wm angrily swipes the pizza back. He's about to call "TAKE TWO THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY" when the pizza is stolen by...
Oh shut up, you coward. You won't actually do it. Just take the fucking pizza and be done with! PLACES! [beat] ...hey, wait a minute!
Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Dec 7th 2020 at 2:08:14 AM
Guma theartens to vandalize the work page. Wm, knowing he will not actually do it, as he is more honorable than Foreman, just gives him the pizza in frustration.
Edited by PurpleEyedGuma on Dec 6th 2020 at 7:51:56 AM
Before the illusive third half of Ya Yakuza, this time without a name, draws a katana and cuts Guma in half, right down the middle.
“Thus, the pizza is in the possession of the true ultimate half.”
Bot Ya and Yakuza look at him.
“Please you don’t even have a name.”
“I don’t need a name to kill both of you where you stand...”
All three glared at each other, threatening to rip each other to shreds and completely forgetting about the pizza.
Superjohn turns into a giant and smashes all three, then shrinks back into his normal size and takes the pizza, teleporting back to his private mansion.
A private mansion that is only a few minutes away if you take a car. You know what that means, don't you? R3 drives another Tesla that he spawned over there, crashing the car through the door, and stealing the pizza.
Edited by R3Ked on Dec 6th 2020 at 6:02:59 AM
Ya is the first to awaken. More specifically he unconsciously latched onto Superjohn with a single cell of his obliterated body, and then rebuilt himself via cell multiplication. He draws on powers from the past Brain Kuza and thinks really hard to blow up the gas lines, destroying the mansion. He then takes the pizza and walks away from the wreckage slowly. Too slowly, leaving him open to attack from...
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