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Ridin' the Hyperlinks (a text adventure game)

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Tre Where'd My Head Go? from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Where'd My Head Go?
Sep 17th 2019 at 5:47:29 PM

This is a text adventure, similar to "The Adventures of [Insert Name Here]." Readers can submit their own commands for the playable character to perform, though the character may do them with gusto, utterly reject the thought, or anything in between. Submissions can have an impact on where the plot goes and how, so use them wisely. Allons-y!


When you wake up for the first time, it is on a cloud.

The sky around you is a serene blue, and the other puffs of water vapor nearby are fluffy and white. You aren't really sure how you were staying afloat up there — or, really, sure about much of anything at all — but it is a calm moment. You wonder if it'll last forever.

Such hopes are quickly dashed when the sky above you starts to disintegrate into a white void. Your heart sinks, and you stumble as you lift yourself, step through the tufts of the cloud, and start to stride. The ground below is a flat shade of gray, and the sky doesn't cast shadows on it at all. The sight is unnerving — you shudder to think of what waits below, but it can't be any worse than what comes from above.

You jump, and rather than hitting the ground as you approach the gray void, it instead engulfs you, like passing through some kind of threshold. You can see boxes float by as you fall, printed with text you can't make out and large images of all manner of things — robots, drummers and guitarists, dragons, cartoon dogs and leopards. Before you reach the next layer below, you catch the arm of a large shape. It might've been an arrow — you can't tell — but there's a flash, and your downward trajectory rotates, going sideways.

It looks like you're careening through a beam of static for a second, and then, with a THUD, you land on a rug, in a room with Tiffany lamps, a pool table and arcade machines for what looks like miles.

You scratch your head — at least, what you think is your head — for a second, and from behind, you hear a voice. "Whoa there, fella! You alright?"

> What do you do?

Edited by Tre on Sep 25th 2019 at 11:53:32 AM

just a nerd trying to dance
VXXXN Ghoulia Yelps from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Ghoulia Yelps
Sep 17th 2019 at 5:51:03 PM

> ask if they can actually see my body

this◊ would be a kickass cover for a monster high cyberpunk au fic
TalesofUnder Avatar throwback time! from Some bamboo forest Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Avatar throwback time!
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:24:05 PM

>Play on a random machine.

Dang, 2 years flies by fast.
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:35:05 PM

>Turn around and try to retrace your flight path.

They're back!
Tre Where'd My Head Go? from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Where'd My Head Go?
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:38:01 PM

> Ask if they can actually see my body

You can't help but be confused by the weird situation you seem to have emerged from, so when you get up, you blearily ask if you're visible. The voice you hear ends up being a burly guy with red hair and a blue shirt.

"I can see ya just fine, there!" he says. "You're about the greenest fellow I've ever glimpsed, actually."

You turn to a different arcade machine than the one you burst from, and see yourself in the reflection of the screen. He's right — you're a rectangular fellow, segmented into four cube-like blocks, three green and one black, with slightly spindly limbs. Your eyes are round, and you have a pair of antenna-lookin' things where your ears might've been.


> Play on a random machine.

You look at the bottom of the cabinet to try to find where the coin slot would be, but there's none to be found.

"Can't figure out the machines? Hang on, lemme show you."

The guy joins you at the machine and hits a pair of buttons on each side of the cabinet, and a stream of light flickers him out of sight. You gulp a bit, but you join him, and when you open your eyes, you both are in the midst of a crowd in a large city square, with the screens above all filled with a battle royale event.

"You gotta get in at the right time to actually participate in this one, but it can still be fun to watch sometimes," he says. "I was gunning for the Annoying Dog this season, but I stopped watching after Day 5."

The crowd proceeds to hoot and holler as an embodiment of Death itself emerges on the screens, and you can't help but be even more confused now than you were in the arcade.

"Want to go back?" he says.

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:31:51 AM

just a nerd trying to dance
TabbyGirl4 Lil' Paint Witch from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Lil' Paint Witch
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:40:16 PM

>"Sure,what was that game?"

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" -Yondu,2017
TalesofUnder Avatar throwback time! from Some bamboo forest Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Avatar throwback time!
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:40:36 PM

>Do the Charleston and laugh like a kookaburra.

Dang, 2 years flies by fast.
WarJay77 Spooky Scary from Upstate New York Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Spooky Scary
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:43:09 PM

> Go play Skee-Ball instead.

Female troper who likes Pokemon, ARGs, Writing, and more. / Links: Sandbox.Zero Context Example Thread - Sandbox.Roleplay Cleanup Thread
KeironCioran Alice from In Chains Relationship Status: Mu
Alice
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:58:39 PM

> Pass out from the stress of the situation.

This song is the feeling of pain.
Tre Where'd My Head Go? from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Where'd My Head Go?
Sep 17th 2019 at 6:59:37 PM

> "Sure, what was that game?" / Turn around and try to retrace your flight path.

You nod, and he says, "right on," instructing you to cross your arms in an "x" formation and snap twice. The two of you emerge back in the arcade, with a quick flicker from the screen as you come back.

You ask what the game you visited was, and he says, "That's the Hunger Games Simulator. Real popular, that one. I got a buddy with, like, five podium finishers. It's buckwild in there, but people can't get enough."

You walk back to the machine you launched out of, but the screen seems to have cracked, and you can't make out the name on the top of the cabinet. Either way, you don't think you want to go back in there.


> Pass out from the stress of the situation.

Thinking about how you got here gets you incredibly woozy for a moment, but you hold it together.


> Do the Charleston and laugh like a kookaburra.

For some reason the thought of embarrassing yourself in front of a stranger also crosses your mind, but you shake your rectangular head a bit and dismiss it. You take a bit of a walk through the arcade machines, though, and while you distinctly refuse the urge to imitate an Aussie bird, your steps backward and forward wouldn't be out of place on certain dance floors.

The other fellow cocks his head, but goes with it as you explore the games.


> Play Skee-Ball instead.

It's tucked way in the back, but you find the inevitable row of skee-ball machines next to a room with a sign saying "Anti-Necromancy" over the entrance, and the concession counter, which smells like buffalo wings. The guy says that there's certainly more glamorous games to be played around here, but that there's nothing wrong with the classics.

You roll a few balls down the middle of the lane, with some of them landing in the slots toward the center, and others just barely whiffing the side pockets. You get a real rhythm going. It feels like some of the other arcade-goers are starting to take a peek.

When you land the last ball, you end up getting a total of 350 points. Nothing too impressive, but not bad, either.

"You got a name, kid?" the guy asks.

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:33:26 AM

just a nerd trying to dance
TabbyGirl4 Lil' Paint Witch from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Lil' Paint Witch
Sep 17th 2019 at 7:05:39 PM

>Stella

Edited by TabbyGirl4 on Sep 17th 2019 at 7:06:50 AM

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" -Yondu,2017
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 17th 2019 at 7:07:19 PM

>Look at the name of the closest machine and adopt that as your surname.

They're back!
VXXXN Ghoulia Yelps from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Ghoulia Yelps
Sep 17th 2019 at 7:10:15 PM

> Felix

this◊ would be a kickass cover for a monster high cyberpunk au fic
Tre Where'd My Head Go? from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Where'd My Head Go?
Sep 17th 2019 at 7:16:09 PM

> Stella / Look at the name of the closest machine and adopt that as your surname.

You look at the machines to try to come up with something, but your plan gets a bit jumbled. "Uh... Felix Stella Signature Verbose?"

He looks at you incredulously. "Felix Stella Signature Verbose. That's what you're going with?"

You make it clear that you're incredibly confused, and that you'd much rather just either figure out what's going on, or just keep playing Skee-Ball, because it's the simplest thing you can understand right now.

"Fair enough, Felix," he says. "I'm Fitz. Nice to meet ya."

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:32:55 AM

just a nerd trying to dance
KeironCioran Alice from In Chains Relationship Status: Mu
Alice
Sep 17th 2019 at 7:17:06 PM

ignore

Edited by KeironCioran on Sep 17th 2019 at 7:17:23 AM

This song is the feeling of pain.
VXXXN Ghoulia Yelps from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Ghoulia Yelps
Sep 17th 2019 at 7:40:15 PM

> shout "ayy lmao" and do the macarena

this◊ would be a kickass cover for a monster high cyberpunk au fic
KJsixteen [SPEED-UP][MISSILE][DOUBLE][LASER][OPTION][?] from Planet Gradius Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
[SPEED-UP][MISSILE][DOUBLE][LASER][OPTION][?]
Sep 17th 2019 at 8:19:37 PM

>Form an army to storm Area 51

Destroy The Core!
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 17th 2019 at 9:01:58 PM

>Sneak up to the holes section on the skee-ball course and throw as many balls in the "100" hole as you can before you get caught.

They're back!
Zanreo longmeowth
longmeowth
Sep 17th 2019 at 10:21:00 PM

> look around for rhythm games

looooooooooooooong
GoldenCityBird Alcott Grimsley, detective of the deceased from the UK
Alcott Grimsley, detective of the deceased
TabbyGirl4 Lil' Paint Witch from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Lil' Paint Witch
Sep 18th 2019 at 6:55:05 AM

>Play more Skeeball

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" -Yondu,2017
Tre Where'd My Head Go? from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Where'd My Head Go?
Sep 18th 2019 at 1:04:21 PM

> Ask Fitz where I am

"This is the F.G. Arcade, boyo. There's a whole bunch of technical mumbo-jumbo that explains the whole deal, but the gist of it is that the folks 'round here are all stand-ins for internet users, and most of the games inside are visual representations of what people in our neck of the woods are playing. At least, that's how Sofi explained it to me."

"So... I'm not an actual person?" you say, freaking out a bit.

"...To be honest, I can't say for sure," Fitz says. "I've never seen a Profile like you before."

Well. That's reassuring.


>Form an army to storm Area 51

You briefly wonder whether or not you'd be able to stage a rebellion against the largest military in the real world, but then it dawns on you — you're a piece of data on a computer somewhere. How in the hell would that work?


>Play more Skee-ball

You try not to wrap your head around it too much and just play another round of Skee-Ball, which doesn't appear to be the kind of game that teleports you the way the other one did. This time your aim kinda sucks, and you score a grand total of 110 points. Yikes.


>Sneak up to the holes section on the skee-ball course and throw as many balls in the "100" hole as you can before you get caught.

You come up with a remarkably stupid idea after that round goes awry, and telling Fitz to keep an eye out, you start another game, clamber on top of the lane you're at, and grab all of the Skee-Balls you can carry.

"That's a weird way to play, bud," Fitz says. You don't care, and one by one, you start lobbing the balls into the top slots. 100. 200. 300. 400.

As you run out of balls, you hear another voice — a nasal, high pitched fellow. "Get down from there!"

You turn around and see a grizzly bear with a pair of glasses, arms crossed in disapproval. "Didn't your mom teach you how to be a proper sportsman?"

A beat. "I don't even know if I have a mom," you say.

"Irrelevant. Cheaters like you are the reason I stopped coming here. You're lucky I don't report you to the Moderation," the bear says. "Don't ever say that Carlisle 27 doesn't show you peons grace."

"Hey, go easy on the kid, alright? They just got here and they're trying to have some fun, that's all," Fitz says. "I think they bumped their head on the way in."

"The state of your odd friend's cranial mass is beside the point," Carlisle says, giving a haughty "hmph" noise as he walks off, nose high in the air.

"We should probably do something else," Fitz says. "That guy left a bad taste in my mouth."

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:33:23 AM

just a nerd trying to dance
Tre Where'd My Head Go? from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Where'd My Head Go?
Sep 18th 2019 at 1:04:29 PM

>look around for rhythm games

In agreement, you and Fitz start down another aisle of machines, and bump into a crowd around the latest entry in the "Whatcha Listenin' To" series, where a tall lady with a bobbed haircut was hitting step after step after step to a frantic electronic song. You're not sure if you're ready for that kind of action, but it's intriguing. After she cuts a rug to the final round of breakbeats and gets her final score (97% COMBO), you awkwardly shuffle through the audience and step up to the second player pad, giving her a weak wave and saying you'd like to try it.

"No problem! I'm MaRTINa, by the way. You must be new around here."

She shuffles through the playlist and finds a smooth house track. "I bet this one could be fun. Wanna give it a go?"

A thumbs up from you, and a timid smile. "Sweet! Let's go," she says.

The opening drum hits start, and you bob left and right, starting to get into a vibe as the vocals hit...


> shout "ayy lmao" and do the macarena

and once you start to hit a nice combo streak, you start doing a thoroughly weird ritual from the '90s with your hands, punctuated by a memetic yell. MaRTINa looks over with a bit of confusion, but she's amused by it — and a bit impressed that you managed to pull it off without losing your rhythm.

The song wraps up, and you get 87% of the steps, while MaRTINa edges out the match with 99%. "I think I missed one of the holds while you were doing your thing. NBD," she says.

You turn to Fitz, who gives a big round of applause among some of the other Profiles watching. "You're a natural!"

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:33:38 AM

just a nerd trying to dance
WarJay77 Spooky Scary from Upstate New York Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Spooky Scary
Sep 18th 2019 at 1:08:07 PM

> Take the tickets and go get a prize

Female troper who likes Pokemon, ARGs, Writing, and more. / Links: Sandbox.Zero Context Example Thread - Sandbox.Roleplay Cleanup Thread

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