The Adventures of [Insert Name Here] (Redux)

> Aztec cosmology

>Digital Art ||

>Memeology

> Aztec cosmology

>Digital Art II

Ah, yes, you are actually taking two electives this year, but one of them doesn't really have a final exam, per se. Your digital art teacher essentially gave the class free reign on the final project, so you have decided to create a meme, using your extensive knowledge of memeology.

For now, though, you need to focus on your present exam: Aztec cosmology, which is both a class the school is offering and something that lines up with your interests. Go figure.

The teacher reprimands you in front of everyone for being late, and you have to sit at the back of the class because there are no more seats left. Great.

You take a seat at the desk and look down at your test. You start answering the questions, one by one, at the best of your ability. You're doing fairly well, you think, but eventually you start to feel... tired. You start to realize you didn't really get a lot of sleep last night, and it's quickly starting to catch up with you. You do your best to stay up, but eventually......

>Dream

You are Steph the human, and you are a farmer in 15th century Mexico. The god Xochipilli has once again blessed your crops with a bountiful harvest.

What do you do?

> thank him with a shrine made from the crops

>Sacrifice a heretic to the gods

>Sell your crops at the market.

>Find an ice cream cone inside the crops

>Find an ice cream cone inside the crops

As you are harvesting, you find that one of your vegetables feels a little.... odd. You start shucking what appears to be an ear of corn, but as you continue shucking you find it feels more and more.... hollow. Finally, you shuck away all the leaves to discover not corn, but an ice cream cone inside. The distant jingle of an ice cream truck sounds in your ears.

You take a small bite. It has a wonderful texture and is delightfully sweet. You consider it a blessing from Xochipilli.

> thank him with a shrine made from the crops

You finish harvesting your crops, finding to your slight dismay that this phenomenon has not repeated in any other ones. Regardless, you take them to your shrine, as is your usual routine.

Your shrine is composed of a large variety of fruits and vegetables, decorated with a small statue of Xochipilli made from a potato. You offer him your newly-acquired cone, in the hopes that such devotion will bring him to bless you with more.

>Sacrifice a heretic to the gods

Ah, yes. Every month, the High Priest of your city holds a ceremony at the top of the volcano to perform ritual sacrifices to the sun god Huitzilopochtli, to aid him in his eternal battle against darkness. It is the greatest celebration in your entire city.

And during the harvest season, it is especially great for you farmers, as the market is on the way to the volcano, meaning prime time for selling crops.

>Sell your crops at the market.

You gather the best of your crops and set off towards the city, hoping you can get a good spot before the market fills up.

Fortunately, you manage to get a decent spot, right along the beaten path to the base of the mountain. Customers and vendors alike are already starting to come in, announcing their wares and perusing the aisles. You quickly set up your shop and get to working.

What do you do?

> buy a curved screen tv

> Burn a witch alive

> Notice your friend in the crowd from your peripheral view.

Edited by KeironCioran on Sep 23rd 2019 at 6:46:46 AM

> buy a curved screen tv

You notice the vendor across from you talking animatedly about his product, hailing it as a mysterious artifact from ancient times. It is, of course, a curved screen TV, but as you are a fifteenth century farmer, you don't recognize it as anything that exists in this world, because by all means it shouldn't.

That guy sure is talking it up, though. You take a look at the price tag.

800,000,000,000 chocolatl.

Well. All it would probably do is gather dust in your room anyways.

> Burn a witch alive

N,, no,,, that was Salem, Massachusetts. You're in Tenochtitlan, Mexico. If even your dreams are this inaccurate, you're gonna have no hope on this test.

> Notice your friend in the crowd from your peripheral view.

On some down time for your shop, you scan the crowd for anyone you recognize. You spot your good friend in your peripheral view, perusing some wares. You wave over to her, but she doesn't seem to notice you.

What do you do?

> ask if she's a lesbian

> yell and tell her about the crops.

> recite the basics of your religion

> yell and tell her about the crops.

"EZTILI," you shout over the heads of the crowd. "COME HERE! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!!"

Eztili looks wide-eyed around the market, before finally spotting you. She gives you a smile and a wave before heading over.

"Hey there, friend!" she exclaims, leaning over and resting on your stand. "So, what's so important?"

You look around at the market to make sure no one's listening, before leaning in and whisper in her ear.

"I found a mysterious crop among my harvest today," you tell her. "It was shaped like a hollow cone, and was crunchy and slightly sweet."

Her eyes widen as you describe it. "That sounds amazing! Can I try one?"

You shrug. "I offered it to Xochipilli as thanks. If I'm lucky, he's sure to bless me with more."

She smiles. "I sure hope he does!"

> ask if she's a lesbian

"By the way," you ask her, "are you a lesbian?"

Quickly, your friend reaches and covers your mouth roughly with her hand, looking around at the market to make sure no one heard.

"How do you know that?!" she whispers. "Who told you??"

You shake your head try to speak, but it's muffled by her hand. She removes it and you continue.

"I-I was just wondering, that's all. I promise I won't tell."

She narrows her eyes. "You'd better not."

> recite the basics of your religion

here just read this

What do you do?

> ask who she's dating right now

> Give her some maize and chocolate drink for her lunch.

Edited by KeironCioran on Sep 23rd 2019 at 8:59:58 AM

> Encounter the god of dreams.

> go to avalor

aren't they Spanish

> invite Eztili to star-gaze (watch Centzonmīmixcōa and Centzonhuītznāhua)

> ask who she's dating right now

Immediately, she takes both your lips within her thumb and pointer finger and squeezes them shut. It hurts. A lot.

"That's none of your business," she sneers.

> Give her some maize and chocolate drink for her lunch.

As soon as she lets go, you smile and nod, hopefully having learned your lesson.

"Sorry about that! Here, have some maize and chocolate drink, on the house." You push a corn and a cup of chocolate drink over to her.

"Thanks!" she says, back to her cheery demeanor, as she takes the food and saunters off. "I'll see you at the ceremony!" she calls back.

> invite Eztili to star-gaze (watch Centzonmīmixcōa and Centzonhuītznāhua)

"Hey!" you call as she leaves. "Wanna go watch the stars with me after?"

"Sure!" she smiles, before turning back and heading off.

> Encounter the god of dreams.

Wikipedia does not list an Aztec god of dreams so clearly one doesn't exist.

> go to avalor

Avalor wasn't founded until after the colonization and genocide of your people, dunkass. Gods. Learn some ancient history.

Anyways. Soon, the sun stars to sink in the sky, and the market starts to clamor in excitement. Soon, the market starts to move up towards the mountain, almost like a great migration as the whole city goes up to see the ceremony.

What do you do?

Edited by Afterwards on Sep 23rd 2019 at 1:18:58 PM

> Attend the ceremony with Eztili.

> ask what her name means

>Mold a lil figure out of clay.