Mirror monologue problem

(reposted as a new topic)

So I got to a point in my novel The Caged Phoenix where Possessed!Misako's talking to her reflection and The Man in the Mirror Talks Back to her, basically a blonde male version of her, but I also wanted to emphasize more of her Empty Shell characterstics and the extra research I did on the Kokoro concept, but it's hard to put into words...

Basically Kokoro means very roughly "Heart and/or mind" but Misako is rather empty inside, but I need the reflection to say some philosophical stuff to her, and this is starting to get hard... Basically the reflection is very insightful and seems to have a mind of its own (acting as a secondary consciousness).

Basically Misako's conducting her own monologue in a bizzare Mental World consisting of a House of Broken Mirrors, where her reflection doesn't reflect her own image but is rather insightful.

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Jan 26th 2019 at 9:15:32 PM

I could use a little help with this, because this scene's really important in my novel!

I'm... not entirely clear on what your question is, at the moment. ^^;

You start off saying that you want to emphasise that the female character is an Empty Shell, and that you want to show more of your work regarding the term "kokoro".

However, you then go on to describe the mirror-character, and add that this character has some philosophical and insightful things to say.

The latter doesn't seem directly connected to the former, so I'm left a little confused. ^^;

What are you having trouble with, specifically? Is it showing that the former character is an "empty shell"? Is it working your research into the term "kokoro" into the narrative? Is it coming up with things for the latter character to say? Or something else again?

Regarding the term "kokoro", one thought that comes to mind is this: if the narrative doesn't have space for some of your research, then the narrative might be better served by leaving it out—painful though that may be. Attempting to include it might bog down the pacing, or muddy the point or points of the scene.

It's one of the pitfalls of research for creative writing, I fear: you have all this neat stuff that you'd like to include, and thus the temptation to find some place into which you might wedge it. And as with physically driving a wedge into an object, it might sometimes work—but you also risk damaging the object.

Well, specifically I wanted the mirror reflection to point insightful issues out to Misako, and I need stuff for the reflection to say because of its nature of being rather honest, as mirrors are often said to be a "window to the soul" in many supersititions. So I need Misako's dark monologue to reflect that also when she talks to the reflection... Whether Misako is hallucinating or not is up to the reader.

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Jan 25th 2019 at 10:06:48 PM

So, you're looking for things for the reflection to say—and, if I read you correctly, things for Misako to say, too?

Aside from some very broad generalities, such insights might depend heavily on the specifics of the characters and their contexts, I think.

Perhaps if you were to share more, both about the characters and what you want to convey, someone might have suggestions for you?

• Misako has a serious and logical nature, she's rather blunt and to the point. This dialogue is supposed to be a What You Are in the Dark moment for Misako, because usually she's with her friends or a full-team of others. This one of those rare scenes where she's completely alone with only her reflection for company. In her dialogue to the mirror Misako expresses extremely dark thoughts about herself she normally wouldn't admit to anyone else, self-reflecting if you will.

• The reflection is self-aware, male (Misako has Mirrored-self misidentification syndrome, and it shows here) and snarky. It says that Misako isn't really a complete person.

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Jan 26th 2019 at 2:10:44 AM

Maybe I wasn't implict on Misako's nature as merely a Vessel, as her own reflection notes wryly. Hence why I was asking how to paraphrase that in the monologue scene...

Well, in what way do you want that paraphrased? Does the reflection have particular diction that you want to match?

If it's something specific to the concept of "kokoro", then I'm not sure of what to suggest—I don't know a lot about that, I fear.

You say that the character is a "vessel"—what is she a vessel for?

Misako is a vessel for a Nature Goddess from a planet called Gliese, unfortunately that goddess is also an Evil God... More specifically the Goddess's heart. This is also the main reason why there are so many Disaster Dominoes whenever Misako tries to save the day as she's strictly not meant to be a hero and the reflection has a self-awareness of this fact... Plus Misako refuses to listen because she has a one-track mind and is extremely Determined! (Or Passionate about what she does)

This was also why I was asking so much about Kokoro

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Feb 3rd 2019 at 2:52:53 AM

Well, it seems that you have what you want, just save for the wording—those all look like things that the reflection might point out. Is there more that you're looking for? Or is it indeed a matter of how to word those points?

So, if she's a vessel for this other being's heart, does that mean that the other being's emotions drive her, in lieu of her own? (You say, after all, that she has no "heart" in the emotional sense—but is carrying the heart of another being.)

Edited by ArsThaumaturgis on Feb 2nd 2019 at 5:50:15 PM

Quote: So, if she's a vessel for this other being's heart, does that mean that the other being's emotions drive her, in lieu of her own? (You say, after all, that she has no "heart" in the emotional sense—but is carrying the heart of another being.)

That's exactly right... And I need a way for the reflection to carefully word these points without giving it away, mostly via hints. And the possible conversation Misako might have with the reflection, since it's one-sided.

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Feb 5th 2019 at 4:53:06 AM

If I may state one more fact:

I probably need a few redrafts of the monologue scene before it even makes sense... But it makes sense in the story since Misako's wandering a large maze, all while being chased by a huge beast called Kotone, and gets heavy hallucinations at this point (she doesn't even know her way around mazes.) So with some desperation to keep hold on her sanity, Misako talks to the first thing she sees (which is her own reflection on a nearby wall of the maze) and the reflection initiates a one-sided conversation with her. The emphasis is that Misako is hollow inside metaphorically, she has no sense of self.

Thus why I said that it was a monologue instead of a dialogue (the reflection does most of the talking while she asks some questions.)

Misako in the meantime had been separated from the rest of the group (Olapen Jintas, Rayne Daie, the octopus entity, Odaxitar and Akashic) as she stumbles amongst the narrow slimy corridors, it seemed very organic to the touch.

“​Hullo, shall we talk​?” says a masculine voice from a nearby source, it sounded familiar. Sky-blue eyes narrowed as a blonde man in a dusty-blue tuxedo stared back at a deeply surprised Misako as she stared back at the reflection, “Haven’t we met before?”

“Who are you?!” Misako narrowed her eyes at the man, “Is this supposed to be a captivity of sorts? Where is this place?”

“Of sorts, this is Kotone’s domain on planet Valhalla after all,” the reflection answers, “What is your opinion of your two best friends?”

“I don’t know them,” Misako says bluntly “Olapen seems a bit more... fragmented than usual, so to speak.”

“I think Odaxitar is a very cunning person,” the reflection answers, “I’ll keep a watch out for her, she’s too far paranoid.”

“I feel like my best friend has become a stranger, even to myself,” Misako exclaims in anger, “And what’s more, I’m trapped in some nonsensical nightmare of her’s!" The reflection nodded before resuming talking. (rest of the monologue on Misako's cynical self-reflection resumes here)

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Feb 5th 2019 at 8:21:18 PM

Also, you might want to see the Wham Line in Voyage of the Eldritch game. That might give you a clue (or two) about what Misako is...

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Feb 9th 2019 at 9:03:58 PM

Plus I'm ready to resume the discussion now that I explained most of the characteristics.

Sorry that I've gone quiet—I've been pretty tired of late, and haven't been feeling up to this discussion. I may return when I'm (hopefully) feeling better. :/

Take your time. Return whenever you're ready. Also still waiting!

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Mar 5th 2019 at 11:35:12 PM

Looking back, it again seems like you have what you want—the points to be conveyed—save for the actual writing of it. I'm not sure of what more to offer (short of actually writing it for you). ^^;

Do you have any questions that I'm missing? (As noted, I'm not in a position to help with the concept of "kokoro" itself, as I'm not terribly familiar with it.)

Edited by ArsThaumaturgis on Mar 30th 2019 at 7:01:42 PM

The thing that I want to be more prominent in the paragraph is Misako's 'lack of self' and how the reflection emphasizes that aspect. As well as her What Is Love personality in general

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Apr 1st 2019 at 12:06:24 AM

Ah, I see. Thank you for clarifying!

In that case... honestly, the main problem that I encounter there is that Misako, as you've described in that excerpt and elsewhere, doesn't appear to me to have a lack of self: as written, she appears to have an inner life, a perspective of her own. And furthermore, why would an entity that lacked a sense of self be bothered by the revelation that they lack a sense of self?

Edited by ArsThaumaturgis on Mar 31st 2019 at 12:56:46 PM

It's not that Misako can't feel emotions, it's just a case of 'frozen heart' and the fact that she's easily swayed by the emotions of the other entity that's controlling her, so the lines between her and the entity becomes very blurred indeed- which are Misako's actual emotions and which emotions are of the other main entity (Ennui)?

To be quite blunt, the word 'vessel' suits Misako perfectly... Aka definition 5 of Vessel: A person as a container of qualities or feelings.

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Apr 3rd 2019 at 12:48:29 AM

But you said that she has a "lack of self". That's what I'm finding doesn't come across. For example, the fact that she perceives a "me" or "I" (as shown in her dialogue) indicates that she has a sense of "self".

So, in light of your paragraph above, I suppose that my question is this: Is there anything inside Misako other than the entity for which she's a vessel? Are there two beings inside her body—her and the other—or just one—the other?

Edited by ArsThaumaturgis on Apr 2nd 2019 at 8:16:47 PM

A good question, and yes, she's sharing a mind and consciousness of another being entirely. That fact is what Misako has yet to discover in-story.

I guess the best analogy is the quotation from the (Gumi) Vocaloid song called Echo: "Why am I switching faster than the channels on tv? I'm black and I'm white, no something isn't right- My enemy is invisible, I don't know how to fight..."

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Apr 3rd 2019 at 1:35:15 AM

Hmm... Your wording is still a little ambiguous, I feel. You say that she's "sharing" a mind/consciousness—does that mean that she has merged with the other—that there is no distinction between the two? Or are there two consciousnesses present, distinct but lodged in the same body?

Your song lyrics and some of your other descriptions seem to suggest the latter, and that either can have control of her body, as I read it. Is that correct?

As far as I do understand, thus far, she doesn't seem to lack a sense of self.

There are two consciousnesses present, distinct but lodged in the same body, is the wording.

Ah, I think that I better understand now! Thank you for explaining. ^_^

Let's see then... you might have your mirror-person ask some piercing questions, specifically to any symptoms of her condition that she might display. You might also have it note how she is "two people", how her "heart is not her own", or how "the face that she sees in the mirror is not her true face". Perhaps it might suggest that she introspect to get to her true feelings, or to ferret out the other being.

Does that give you a starting point, or some inspiration? If not, what sort of thing might you be looking for, do you think?