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ITT: We Are All Pirates' Revenge

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DrNoPuma Shopkeeper fox from Mobius Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Shopkeeper fox
Dec 27th 2018 at 5:37:30 PM

This is a reboot of Heather's thread "We Are All Pirates." I really liked the idea of the thread, and I was sad that it died out, so I started talking to her later, and we came up with ideas for this reboot. Feel free to join at any time, and your character can be any sort of creature. The only real rule is no godmodding, other than that, you can mostly do whatever you want. We pirates are free spirits, after all!


On the small trading island of Inmundo, in the Nudibranch Tavern, a pirate known as Melvin the Grungy sits drinking a pint of beer. Melvin is a rat... literally. A giant rat who stands a head taller than most humans and is also quite chubby. But strangest of all, he wears a domino mask that covers the top of his face and snout.

Melvin looks around wearily at the other patrons at the tavern.

Just launched a new trope!
TalesofUnder At least I ended the pirate chain. from Gar's Bodega Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
At least I ended the pirate chain.
Dec 27th 2018 at 5:44:24 PM

(A blond man with a beard enters the tavern. Heís a self-proclaimed mighty pirate, but he looks more like a flooring inspector.)

I don't even watch this show anyway. Why I decided to get an avatar of it I'll never know.
CustardAndPie Are ye achin' for some bacon? from 'Scansin, don'cha knoow? Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Are ye achin' for some bacon?
Dec 27th 2018 at 5:50:14 PM

A young woman, practically drowning in her oversized cape, is interrupted from her drink by the blond man's entrance. She looks towards the door.

Well, that sucks.
DrNoPuma Shopkeeper fox from Mobius Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Shopkeeper fox
Dec 27th 2018 at 7:15:07 PM

Melvin takes another sip.

"Nice to meet ya, stranger," he says to the blond man.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Dec 27th 2018 at 10:15:41 AM

Just launched a new trope!
hanwen1234 Asada Shino/Sinon
Asada Shino/Sinon
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:07:49 PM

A immensely tall, muscular yet curvaceous woman enters the tavern as well.

Her outfit is...oddly out of place; more like what a modern PMC would be wearing in the Middle East or some analogue of. Her weapons, too; a M1014 and a customized Glock 34, of all things.

She's carrying a similarly out-of-place bag; oversized, and clearly carrying something, and with a couple of pouches on itself, too.

"Good day to you all."

(Well, might as well have a odd one in, non?)

The one girl who isn't really romantically interested in Kirito. Somehow.
Daydre That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth from the trash Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:11:37 PM

A person in a face and body obscuring cloak hesitantly steps into the tavern.

"Um.. hello?"

"I was told I could.. find sailors here?"

Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten.
TalesofUnder At least I ended the pirate chain. from Gar's Bodega Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
At least I ended the pirate chain.
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:14:04 PM

ďWell, hello! Iím Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate (TM)!Ē

I don't even watch this show anyway. Why I decided to get an avatar of it I'll never know.
CustardAndPie Are ye achin' for some bacon? from 'Scansin, don'cha knoow? Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Are ye achin' for some bacon?
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:14:53 PM

The young woman perks up, pulling down her hood and walking towards the other hooded stranger.

"Hey, the name's Gabrielle. You said you're looking for sailors?"

Well, that sucks.
Daydre That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth from the trash Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:20:40 PM

She turns to the other woman. Judging by her voice, she sounds young- she's probably a tween or young teenager at the most.

"Y-yes... I just need someone to take me far away from here.."

Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten.
kablammin45 400 lbs of raging fury from New Barhaven Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
400 lbs of raging fury
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:36:48 PM

(A slightly larger-than-normal coral snake wearing a tricorn hat is slithering around everyone's feet.)

"Raging fury"? C'mon now, I consider myself a pretty even-tempered guy. That's a bit of an exaggeration.
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:38:23 PM

Near Melvin, a scrawny, grey, and surprisingly small rat is napping inside of a shot glass. The conversation of the room wakes him up.

Heh... Cous'... Mel... what town are we in again?

Edited by TacoBadger on Dec 27th 2018 at 10:38:48 AM

Huzzah
shrubBird Angry eclair with legs from the depths of hell. Relationship Status: I get a feeling so complicated...
Angry eclair with legs
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:39:28 PM

Seeing all the other people enter that specific bar, a young boy follows. Reaching the entrance, he peers into the doorway, seemingly looking for something in particular.

I don't give a damn about your so-called justice!
DrNoPuma Shopkeeper fox from Mobius Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Shopkeeper fox
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:42:21 PM

"We're on Inmundo, remember cous? I was lookin' for work. I heard this island was bustling, but I didn't expect to this many others. Pleasure to meet y'all."

Edited by DrNoPuma on Dec 27th 2018 at 11:43:17 AM

Just launched a new trope!
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:45:06 PM

Others? Ah shoot... I knew I shouldn't have soiled my fancy clothes. Oh well.

The rat in the shot glass stands up. Hello hello, all bar patrons. Name's Duane. This is my cousin Melvin. Obviously, he got the height and he got the looks, but I, I got the addictive personality. Work out those genes why doncha?

Huzzah
Beverly Just a little girl from the Relationship Status: A teenager in love
Just a little girl
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:51:31 PM

Just as everyone is settling in...

A panicked looking man bursts through the tavern door, a look of terror on his face.

"THE FUNNYBONES ARE COMING!!"

"The Funnybones" being a local gang of pirates, ne'er-do-wells, and general ruffians. Lead by the very serious Max Funnybones. They're the kind of group that would be feared and terrored... in a very small radius, but they'd be completely unknown outside of their small area of expertise.

The "C" in "CTR" stands for "Coco."
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:53:09 PM

What are you, a stand-up comic or something? 'Cuz, I gotta say, I've heard worse act introductions...

Huzzah
kablammin45 400 lbs of raging fury from New Barhaven Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
400 lbs of raging fury
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:54:43 PM

(The coral snake pops up between two seated patrons.)

Who? Who? (He looks around excitedly (his tiny tricorn hat nearly slipping off his head). He sounds fairly young.)

"Raging fury"? C'mon now, I consider myself a pretty even-tempered guy. That's a bit of an exaggeration.
TalesofUnder At least I ended the pirate chain. from Gar's Bodega Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
At least I ended the pirate chain.
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:57:04 PM

ďWait, this is Inmundo? I thought this was Melee Island!Ē

I don't even watch this show anyway. Why I decided to get an avatar of it I'll never know.
shrubBird Angry eclair with legs from the depths of hell. Relationship Status: I get a feeling so complicated...
Angry eclair with legs
Dec 27th 2018 at 8:59:34 PM

The boy hears the panic and mention of the ďFunnybones.Ē Not wanting to take any chances, he runs into the bar to hide.

I don't give a damn about your so-called justice!
hanwen1234 Asada Shino/Sinon
Asada Shino/Sinon
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:01:13 PM

She racks the slide on her Glock, loading a round into the chamber. "Might as well deal with 'em while we can."

The one girl who isn't really romantically interested in Kirito. Somehow.
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:01:23 PM

Intrigue, confusion, fear, and violence. Those are four reactions to expect to amateur stand-up comedy. If you'd like, mister, I could offer up some pointers on how to sell yourself more! I knew a stand-up comic once.

Edited by TacoBadger on Dec 27th 2018 at 11:01:44 AM

Huzzah
Beverly Just a little girl from the Relationship Status: A teenager in love
Just a little girl
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:09:47 PM

"Don't you all understand?!" His panicked tone amplifies his voice even more. "They'll pillage this place! Steal its money, its alcohol, and they'll kill anyone in their way!"

And then a loud footstep can be heard behind him.

And another.

And another...

With every step, the man gets more freaked and panicked, until...

In walks a woman not at all looking like a pirate. Or a skeleton, for that matter. In fact, she looked pretty ordinary. A regular t-shirt, regular jeans, regular flip-flops. Her ginger hair reaching the back of her neck.

Seems pretty regular.

The woman looks at the panicked man, then the lady with a gun, then the kid hiding. Then the dude talking about stand-up, for some reason.

"... What's up?"

The "C" in "CTR" stands for "Coco."
TalesofUnder At least I ended the pirate chain. from Gar's Bodega Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
At least I ended the pirate chain.
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:10:50 PM

ďHi, dame! Iím a mighty pirate, but donít fall for me: Iím married.Ē

I don't even watch this show anyway. Why I decided to get an avatar of it I'll never know.
hanwen1234 Asada Shino/Sinon
Asada Shino/Sinon
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:18:09 PM

"Some crazy group that's apparently feared around here is coming. Don't think they'll last against a good perforation courtesy of my Glock."

The one girl who isn't really romantically interested in Kirito. Somehow.
TacoBadger Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, itís a badger, thatís for sure
Dec 27th 2018 at 9:19:43 PM

Do you have a job? My cousin's looking for a job, and he's pretty good at most things. Unless... oh shoot-

He turns to Melvin, Were you talking about like piratey jobs or something? 'Cuz she might not have a piratey job for you...

Huzzah

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