TVTropes Now available in the app store!
Open

Follow TV Tropes

Following

ITT: We Are All Space Mercenaries

Go To

kablammin45 art lizer from Cleese's Battle Circuit (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
art lizer
#351: Aug 24th 2018 at 8:45:25 PM

Uh...should we hop on board the Andore if we want to get Bruno up there? (I ask, pointing up at the ship.)

"Hey, least I didn't lose all my artistic talent when I crash landed in the arena here."
TropesForever God forbid women do anything from wait where is she Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: I wanna be your dog
God forbid women do anything
#352: Aug 24th 2018 at 8:57:51 PM

I'm sure they'll be fine, Erik. They've got guns and badass music. While all I have is a mop and some ancient Earth-style tunes."

He sighs. After a minute, though, he remembers something and his mood picks up again.

Say Erik, did I tell you about a new song I wrote? It's called 'Vulpopod's Garden'. I dedicated it to you.

thebeatles.com/careers
DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#353: Aug 25th 2018 at 6:16:06 AM

"Wait, really?"

Erik quickly slithers over and hugs Grantor.

"You shouldn't have! Thank you! I'd love to hear it."

Edited by DrNoPuma on Aug 25th 2018 at 1:22:58 PM

Very good kitty
WilliamRadarStorm my current job from News Station NT Since: Oct, 2013 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
my current job
#354: Aug 26th 2018 at 11:40:31 AM

Atop the Celestial, Frank's focus has shifted from his teammates to the Cheese Wedge. It's still not doing anything? The Varrq aren't one to laugh off an android girl shooting a pistol at their ship...

He goes through the possibilities. Out of ammo? No, that can't be it, they'd have either pulled back to reload or tried to kamikaze us by now.

Scanning her weak points? Decent chance, but the LKI-0431 isn't known for its good scanners, so not a certainty.

Suddenly, the Wedge stops hovering and flys over to the Andore. Frank notices this immediately and grabs the radio.

BODEGA! YOUR SHIELD!

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
PresidentStalkeyes Eats moldy bread and flies into windows from United Kingdom of England-land Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Do you like me? (Yes ⎕ Definitely ⎕ Absolutely!!! ⎕)
Eats moldy bread and flies into windows
#355: Aug 26th 2018 at 6:46:01 PM

"MY WHAT?!" Bodega yells over the radio, having tuned into some particularly ear-grating static, sounding vaguely like the buzzing drone of an insect. Which did at least have the advantage of powering up the shield again, just as she noticed the flying cheese wedge approaching.

She pulled on the handbrake hard, coming to a stop and throwing up another cloud of dust.

Those sell-by-dates won't stop me because I can't read!
Tre could be worse from the front to the back, that's where I was at (Unlucky Thirteen) Relationship Status: Singularity
could be worse
#356: Aug 26th 2018 at 9:38:00 PM

The sound droning from the Andore’s speakers reverbated across the rig, bouncing from tower to tower. What little were left of the ground troops slammed their comms and faded out of view with a flicker of golden light. The teleportation tech they’d nabbed from a New London port was powerful, but too unreliable to use for precious cargo — and a sign that the Varrq had grown desperate.

As Bodega hit the brakes on the eight-wheeler, Tilt leaned from his window to find the Wedge readying a shot from a cannon mounted starboard. He frantically turned left, right, left again, before grabbing his pen from the seat and fixing his aim onto the weapon.

Degs! Brace yourself!

The center of the cannon’s barrel glowed to life with an orange hue, and the space around the pen became a holographic javelin, shining with a cyan tone. Turning his head back inside the Andore, Tilt sent his pen flying and ducked, but instead of the heavy blast he’d expected, there wasn’t much more out there than a fizzle and some waves from the sonic shield.

Tilt clambered onto the roof and took another look at the Wedge. The cannon had been turned into a smoldering heap, with bits of it and the crystalline core of the pen scattered across the chassis. It was still floating, but with an obvious lean that wasn’t there before.

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disheartened by the sight. Might’ve been a bit of both.

Edited by Tre on Aug 27th 2018 at 10:31:25 AM

oh, that's why I need this binary mind //
WilliamRadarStorm my current job from News Station NT Since: Oct, 2013 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
my current job
#357: Aug 27th 2018 at 11:05:46 AM

The droning sound also transfers over to Frank's radio. In a bout of panic, he removes the batteries to stop it, grabs his phone, and calls Aur again.

Let's hope this works again...

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
DubhKafkaesque from Scotland Since: Aug, 2018 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
#358: Aug 27th 2018 at 1:08:13 PM

In a room aboard the Grand Celestial, one much like any other dilapidated, messy dwelling on the ship, there is a soft electronic whirring noise. Some sort of machine is lurching to life.

...

The android groans as he comes to his senses. It's very quiet, peaceful even, which given the rowdy nature of his crew-mates almost certainly means they're off doing something important and he's slept in. Damn it.

This android's name is Sparks. Well, admittedly that's not his real name, but "De Vallière Robotics Experimental Machine Learning Model SPK-3375" is rather a mouthful. Better to have a nickname people could reasonably be expected to remember. Compared to the ship's other two resident robots, he is far less humanlike in appearance - the general human body shape is there, but where Tilt and to a lesser extent Becka have the more general look of a human being, Sparks's body is all gleaming electric blue pistons, joints and armour-plated mechanisms, like an industrial construction arm twisted into a humanoid shape. His helmet-shaped head conspicuously lacks a face; where one would be, he instead has a glassy black plate, within which the light of innumerable LEDs is dancing chaotically as the bleary droid co-ordinates his mental faculties.

Since he's presumably already late, Sparks decides there's no harm in making sure his room is as he left it before he heads out. Disconnecting himself from the wires of the charging port he has where most of the crew have beds, he sets about the checks and double-checks. His collection of BattleZone trading cards, including several mint condition ultra-rares he could sell for thousands of [INSERT NAME OF THE UNIVERSAL CURRENCY HERE]s if he felt like it - check. A small record collection, composed, as seems commonplace for this ship, mostly of classic Earth music from before the Event - check. Everyone else's bills and taxes - check. (It takes him all of one second to scan over them all and make sure he's indeed done everything.) A well-stocked bookshelf - check. Yep, everything seems in order.

Now that's dealt with, Sparks gets to the business of checking to see whether anyone else has been left behind on the Grand Celestial. This means those still aboard should, if they're listening, hear a door opening, followed by the sound of hurried metal footsteps heading for the bridge.

Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!
TacoBadger Well, it’s a badger, that’s for sure from either behind you or Albuquerque Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: The Skitty to my Wailord
Well, it’s a badger, that’s for sure
#359: Aug 27th 2018 at 4:39:17 PM

Enzo, who had missed some of the fight, had temporarily been pinned under a Varrq corpse inside a closet type room in. He exited the closet, huffing and puffing in exhaustion. We, huh... we kill ‘em all yet?

Huzzah
PresidentStalkeyes Eats moldy bread and flies into windows from United Kingdom of England-land Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Do you like me? (Yes ⎕ Definitely ⎕ Absolutely!!! ⎕)
Eats moldy bread and flies into windows
#360: Aug 27th 2018 at 6:39:53 PM

Bodega sat up in her seat as she witnessed the bright but oddly silent blast that Tilt's weird pen had produced... what was that thing, anyway? Who makes pens of doom and why doesn't she have one? Not like she'd use it that way, but it'd be awesome to tell people it could.

She stuck her head out the driver's window, looking up at Tilt. "DAYYNG, Tilt, my death-robo, death-robo! Where do y'all get these doom-pens, anyways? Uh... pen planet? Pen planet?! WAHAHAHA!" she laughed, even though that wasn't actually that funny.

The Prutek chose this moment to clamber out of the driver's seat and join Tilt on the Andore's roof. "Ah think I know what time it is now; yanno, say it with me now, it's BA-BA...BA-BA...BRRRRUNO TIME, BRUNO TIME! An' by that I mean, Bruno, get yer liquid ass up here, yer goin' flyin'! Why? 'Cause y'all are the only one who's gon' be survivin' gettin' sucked into an engine! Ah mean, could I survive it? ...Maybe, but I ain't that stupid! WAHAHAHA!" she laughed once again.

Edited by PresidentStalkeyes on Aug 27th 2018 at 2:43:23 PM

Those sell-by-dates won't stop me because I can't read!
kablammin45 art lizer from Cleese's Battle Circuit (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
art lizer
#361: Aug 27th 2018 at 6:46:37 PM

Yes! Bruno Time! Bruno Time! Time for me to move, yep! Uh huh! (Bruno giggles, scampering up onto the Andore's roof, grinning.)

...Are you really going to throw him up there? (I ask Bodega.)

"Hey, least I didn't lose all my artistic talent when I crash landed in the arena here."
PresidentStalkeyes Eats moldy bread and flies into windows from United Kingdom of England-land Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Do you like me? (Yes ⎕ Definitely ⎕ Absolutely!!! ⎕)
Eats moldy bread and flies into windows
#362: Aug 27th 2018 at 7:26:47 PM

"Sure I am! What, y'never seen someone go flyin' two hundred miles into the air, two hundred miles? Yanno, ah once caught this satellite that entered Valtax on re-entry, I caught it by the wing an' threw it right back intah space; right back! The trick, ya see, is to spin! Spinnin' is everythang! Be-HOLD!"

With that declaration, she abruptly and violently snatched up the nearby Bruno with her upper arms before leaping down onto the dirty ground of Phobos. Holding out her lower arms as a stabilizer she spun around and around in a Lariat like manner, forming a miniature dust tornado as she did so. "EEEEEYAH! FAH-LEEEENG!!" she announced, as she did indeed let go and fling Bruno right at the ship.

Those sell-by-dates won't stop me because I can't read!
Daydre That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth from in my house Since: Jun, 2014 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
#363: Aug 27th 2018 at 7:32:14 PM

Aur makes his way back to the Andore, answering his phone as he goes.

"Yeah? What's up?"

we will survive.
kablammin45 art lizer from Cleese's Battle Circuit (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
art lizer
#364: Aug 27th 2018 at 7:36:00 PM

WHEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...- (Bruno shouts gleefully as he rockets through the air towards the ship. There's a small explosion where he makes contact with the ship.)

Wow, nice throw! (I say to Bodega.) ...But he'll be okay, right?

Catotians like him can withstand almost anything, P'roo. I'm sure he's fine. (Roark says.)


(Of course, Bruno is now on the ship. He puts his eyes back into their normal positions and begins pulling and smashing apart anything he can find, all while casually humming a bouncy tune.)

♪ Hummm hm humm...gonna smash some things over here...hmmhmm...break apart this right here...hum... ♪ ooh, sprockets, my favorite! (Bruno eats a large sprocket, which slowly digests inside of him as he continues wrecking things.)

Edited by kablammin45 on Aug 27th 2018 at 10:51:59 AM

"Hey, least I didn't lose all my artistic talent when I crash landed in the arena here."
WilliamRadarStorm my current job from News Station NT Since: Oct, 2013 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
my current job
#365: Aug 27th 2018 at 7:43:27 PM

The Varrq are scrambling the radios, so I need to use the phone to communicate with the rest of you. Can you relay messages, please?

Frank can hear Spark's footsteps, but chooses to ignore them. He instead continues watching the gang's shenanigans— Did Bruno just fly into the ship?

Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Aug 27th 2018 at 10:43:25 AM

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Tre could be worse from the front to the back, that's where I was at (Unlucky Thirteen) Relationship Status: Singularity
could be worse
#366: Aug 27th 2018 at 7:55:23 PM

Tilt summoned his binoculars again as Bruno sailed into the ship's turbines. The ship's forward movement came to a near halt as the blobby dude made quick work of the innards underneath the cabin. Smoke and isolated flames sputtered from the vessel as the systems keeping it afloat became parts within Bruno's suddenly rather large mass.

"Look at the little guy go," the android said, turning to Bodega, who had stayed in her follow-through pose.

The Catotian gushed out from the opposite side of the ship with a smile, and returned to his normal size as he landed onto the ground below. The Wedge, meanwhile, careened into a rocky hill below, releasing a violet, geyser-like cloud with a high-pitched burst, and the impact from it hit the sonic shield surrounding the Andore one last time, leaving the vehicle and the folks around it without a scratch.

And... cut.

oh, that's why I need this binary mind //
kablammin45 art lizer from Cleese's Battle Circuit (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
art lizer
#367: Aug 27th 2018 at 8:00:51 PM

(After doing his dirty work, Bruno cheerfully jumps out of the crashing ship and lands not far away with a splat.)

Bingo! (He says with a small belch.)

"Hey, least I didn't lose all my artistic talent when I crash landed in the arena here."
Daydre That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth from in my house Since: Jun, 2014 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
#368: Aug 27th 2018 at 8:04:28 PM

"Yeah, sure."

Aur reaches the Andore right in time to be protected by the sonic shield.

we will survive.
DefRevenge24601 Strongest In History from Beyond The Void (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Strongest In History
#369: Aug 28th 2018 at 6:19:46 AM

"Ka-BOOM!"

"And that is a successful mission."

"DIO is the ultimate being! The being of the future! Dare you not to rival me!"
MvflG [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_RiXBxNA4E ce from Jakarta Kota railway station Since: Aug, 2017 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
#370: Aug 28th 2018 at 9:22:53 AM

Greg was drawn to the smell of baked goods and noticed Erik holding a tray of cupcakes.

'Oh, what's this? Did you make them? Would you mind if I try one, if I nabbed one? I haven't eaten in a while.'

After getting the cephalophodic fox's approval, he ate the cupcake ravenously.

'That was delicious, absolutely delectable. I don't know if that's because I'm starving or because it really does taste good, but dang. What are they made of?'

I'm no longer a forumgoer. Please contact me through Discord instead.
AtlasStratus Knight Cheesebeam from Frouphut, 1337 Impossible Avenue Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: In bed with a green-skinned space babe
Knight Cheesebeam
#371: Aug 28th 2018 at 10:09:40 AM

"Well, now zat's sorted." Not much damage taken by the team, quite the ideal outcome. "Still, iz anyone feeling odd, like you inhaled too much spess or somezing?"

Timers to measure time, thermometers to measure thermomets, mometers to measure mom, and measuring containers to measure measurements.
DubhKafkaesque from Scotland Since: Aug, 2018 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
#372: Aug 28th 2018 at 2:20:53 PM

clank clank clank clank clank clank

Sparks slows himself down as he approaches the entry to the bridge, but it's not enough to prevent him from awkwardly stumbling his way into the presence of whoever's there hopefully other people are keeping better track than i apparently was lol. By now, the LEDs behind his faceplate have settled into their usual form - two simple, cartoonish, expressive eyes in the upper half, a set of equaliser bars that respond to his speech on the lower half.

"Sorry I'm late! Again! No excuse for once, I slept in like an idiot!"

Edited by DubhKafkaesque on Aug 28th 2018 at 11:10:07 AM

Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!
WilliamRadarStorm my current job from News Station NT Since: Oct, 2013 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
my current job
#373: Aug 28th 2018 at 2:53:07 PM

The model of radio Frank has requires proximity to hook up to a channel, so from up here, he can't reconnect the radio to the comm-channel. He knows this already, so he doesn't bother fretting over it.

Instead, he continues observing the crew through his binoculars. He sees the cheese wedge go down, crashing into a nearby rocky hill. He talks to Aur about this.

Okay, they downed the cheese wedge. Can you head to the Andore and ask Tilt if we missed anything?

Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Aug 28th 2018 at 6:47:47 AM

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
PresidentStalkeyes Eats moldy bread and flies into windows from United Kingdom of England-land Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Do you like me? (Yes ⎕ Definitely ⎕ Absolutely!!! ⎕)
Eats moldy bread and flies into windows
#374: Aug 28th 2018 at 4:46:58 PM

Bodega turned her gaze to the others, gesturing to the smoking wreck of the 'cheese wedge' behind her.

"Woah, woah, woah, now 'old on a second, y'all; more than a literal second, y'all! What about the survivors o' that there wreck we just made? There's always survivors, 'specially when it comes to these Varrq guys, an' as public servants, it is our duty to find these survivors, pick 'em up off the ground... an' beat the FLAK outta their chitinous asses! Chitinous! Flakken'! Asses!"

Those sell-by-dates won't stop me because I can't read!
Beverly from the Since: Aug, 2017 Relationship Status: A teenager in love
#375: Aug 28th 2018 at 4:58:00 PM

"... We did it!" Becka cheers, now a very good distance from the party.

A problem she fixed by just walking back.

"Nice job, team! Now what?"

I'm Huney B now. Okay?

Total posts: 525
Top