Biological Parent Nomenclature Problem

Not to flood the forum with my first handful of posts, but how would you tackle the New Parent Nomenclature Problem from a narrative standpoint when the parents in question are the biological parents?

To (try to) summarize the plot leading to such a dilemma: 1. Protagonist\'s child is kidnapped (stolen?) in utero because reasons, raised as a Child Soldier; 2. Child is sicced on protagonist\'s home, knocked out by protagonist\'s Unlucky Childhood Friend, and brought in for further investigation due to Strong Family Resemblance; 3. Daddy (and Mommy!) DNA Test proves to protagonist Luke I Am Your Father (or rather, mother), shock and probably angst ensue.

I already know in dialogue he\'ll be ultra-formal, never using anything less than \"Mother\" and \"Father\" to address them, but I don\'t know how to go about it when narrating from his perspective, beyond a parenthetical aside or two in the reveal scene. Any ideas?

Bumping, because I could really use some ideas

I assume the child is still a child and doesn't harbor any filial feelings towards his biological parents?

He could refer to them just by their first names in order to distance himself psychologically from them. This might be a cultural thing, though. It is considered improper where I am from for small children to address their parents by something other than "Mom" and "Dad".

Of course, if the child was raised as a Child Soldier he might not be aware of such conventions in the first place.

Edited by Millership on Jul 29th 2018 at 4:22:33 PM

Fourteen years old, and wakes up from his Tap on the Head to meet them for the first time, so no, no filial attachment (in fact, I see him calling Dad a liar at first, and "That's no way to talk to your father" being a Wham Line in context, because My Parents Are Dead), but a strong sense of...maybe not honor, 'cause y'know, but protocol, I guess? I plan on the ultra-formality eventually shifting in tone from unfamiliarity ("I should be calling them 'Mother' and 'Father' because they're my mother and father, even if I don't know them") to simply an artifact of his personality, if I'm phrasing that correctly ("I still call them 'Mother' and 'Father' because that's simply how I knew them when we met").

EDIT: He'd be aware of "don't call parents by name" conventions, since family dynamics are pretty much Like Reality, Unless Noted, but wouldn't have a personal frame of reference for his own family, i.e., "Normal families would speak to each other 'this' way, but we're hardly a normal family, so what do 'I' do?"

(And believe me, it'd be abominable manners for a kid or even an adult to call his parents by name where I'm from, too.)

Edited by shadowrose07 on Jul 29th 2018 at 8:08:31 AM

So, his attitude is "He cares for them enough to call them Mom and Dad to keep things civil, there's no real enmity he feels for them ('You're not my MOM!!!'), but those words don't carry the appropriate weight for him, personally"?

He could refer to them as his caretakers in his inner monologue. Or quartermasters, if you wish to employ the military terminology and to keep psychological distance a bit farther.

Edited by Millership on Jul 30th 2018 at 2:29:09 PM

I wouldn't say he really "cares for" them, per se, at least not immediately. It's more that he's duty-bound, both in the sense of filial piety and of gratitude; the master/owner/warlord from whom Mom's UCF essentially abducted him would have no qualms having him offed for one reason or another, and in fact that very confrontation is the Final Battle in the story. The second half of your first statement is more-or-less accurate, though.

The second statement, though.... "Caretakers" sounded appropriate at first, but as I typed it felt less and less so. He does acknowledge his parents as such, once the initial shock wears off, (which it has to before they'll be willing to take him home; Mom was a borderline Child Soldier herself [although of her own volition], so she's savvy enough not to risk being killed in her sleep, along with her "husband" and other kids) so while there's no real affection there (yet), there's also no grudge ("Where were you when I needed you?!") preventing that affection either. I suppose it's as much as anything that he's uncomfortable with the entire idea of having parents moreso than he is with the individuals, and that he's at most unused to the individuals.

(Sorry if I come across like I'm being finicky; your input is forcing me to think more about, and elaborate on, the situation and characters as it comes in, which I actually really needed, so thanks for this.)

(P.S. Holy crap, it took me a literal hour to find the words for this post!)

Hey, no need to apologize. I was just offering all the feedback I could. Glad it was useful.

If it helps, Mom's dealing with some awkwardness-induced emotional distance on her own end; not only does she think little to nothing of her parenting ability, she (understandably) had to be beaten over the head with the certainty of his parentage in the first place since, in her own words, "I would've known if I was pregnant again, dammit!" So even though (or partially because) she's taken it upon herself to oversee his Training from Hell, she'll be treating him as much like a live-in student as like a son. (Then again, it's much easier to narrate from her perspective, since she can obviously refer to her son by name without seeming odd....)

Ah, I see.

Maybe something like "QM" (abbreviation for quartermaster) for the father, "Sarge" (sergeant) or DI (drill instructor) for the mother? Or some analog of the terms, which could fit in the setting.

Edited by Millership on Aug 5th 2018 at 1:38:21 AM

Were I in that situation, I would call them "Mister" and "Misses" [lastname]. Local cultural practices should prevail, however.