Help with my superhero story

Hello. I'm planning to write a superhero story (and hopefully turn it into a book good enough to be published). I need help with writing it. Criticism and useful ideas. Mostly criticism.

The working title for this story is "We Are No Gods" (might need to work on that later)

The story is set in year 2029. The world we all know is different. All because of Parahumans - people possessing superpowers.

Everything started in 1944, when the Allies attacked Nazi research lab, where German scientists were working on Super Soldier program. They discovered a gene, which can grant a person super powers if it is awakened. The gene can awaken naturally, but it's extremely rare. They found a way how to artificially trigger the gene to awake. The scientists created a gas they dubbed "God Maker". When a person possessing power-granting gene is exposed to the gas, they will gain powers. The destruction of the research lab brought unforeseen consequences. God Maker was released into the Earth's atmosphere. Couple of months later, people all over the world started manifesting powers.

Because of Parahuman existence, several historic events have changed. For example, the war in Europe ended in March 1945 with Allies capturing Berlin instead of USSR.

The story is influenced by X-Men, as Parahuman are widely discriminated by the society, either out of hate or fear. After WWII, Parahumans were forced to work for the governments of their countries. If they refused, they were either imprisoned for life (or until they agreed to work) or straight up executed depending on how dangerous their powers were. Parahumans who did work for the government had to help with capturing rogue Parahumans, assist public services and so on. People with powers are often treated as tools to be exploited or a threat that needs to be contained by any means.

However, not everyone was afraid or hated Parahumans. There were those, who fought for their equal rights. And it was working. After long decades of a long and tiresome battle, Parahumans were slowly accepted as a part of the society. Unfortunately, all this hard work went down the drain after the attack on NATO summit in Geneva by Parahuman anarchists. Representatives of Italy, France and Germany were killed and many more were injured.

As a result of the attack, international Parahuman Registration Act was passed. All super-powered individuals are registered in international database. They also received special identification tattoos called Brands to help identify what powers do they possess. Because of these tattoos, Parahumans earned a new name - Branded.

Parahumans are divided into 5 power-type categories: - Elemental - elemental manipulation like Pyrokinesis, Cryokinesis or Electrokinesis; - Naturae - powers related to flora and fauna (this one was inspired by Poison Ivy and Beast Boy); - Meta - powers, that modify the person's body. Super strength, super speed, lasers from eyes, etc. It is the most common category; - Psychic - any psychokinetic abilities. Very rare; - Enigma - powers, that do not fit to the previous 4 categories. These are particularly rare and can be quite powerful. The only known powers, that belong to the Enigma category are: power copying, super empowering, time manipulation and creation of portals.

As a result of alternative history, geopolitical situation in 2029 is very different: - There is no European Union. There is instead European Dominion - a Hegemonic Empire ruled by the Autarch and Dominion Senate. It's not an authoritarian or totalitarian regime. While every country belonging to the Dominion is expected to serve the Autarch and the Senate, they retained their autonomy. The Dominion is open minded and allows freedom of speech. - Russia is no longer a superpower after they lost Eurasian War in 2020 against China and European Dominion. Most of Russian land was annexed by China as war reparations and for almost causing nuclear war. - USA has much closer relationship with Canada and Mexico. Together, they formed Northern America Alliance. - Korea was united after the collapse of North Korea's regime. - A powerful social movement called Inheritor Movement is slowly becoming a N.G.O Superpower. They unofficially control Japan, China and Korea, and it seems their influence is spreading towards Europe and Australia. They started as a small and radical pro-Parahuman social movement in Japan, but they grew in power in the following years. In their ideology, they claim that the age of normal man will soon end and Parahumans will inherit the Earth (hence the name).

The action will take place on artificially created island called Arcadia. It's as big as Iceland and it's located on Atlantic Ocean between USA and Great Britain. It was created by European Dominion and North America Alliance as a symbol of unity between them.

The main heroes are 8 Parahumans from around the world, ranging from 19 to 20 years old, attending Olympus Academy - the best academy for Parahumans in the world. They all attend in the same class - the Omega Class, which is reserved for the best.

The story will feature various antagonists, but the most dangerous ones belong to an anti-Parahuman extremist group called Pure Humanity Army. It was founded by former American general, who defected and formed the group after his family was slaughtered by a Parahuman criminal. Pure Humanity Army has access to highly advanced technology they developed themselves or stole from European Dominion and North America Alliance. They are regarded as extremely dangerous terrorist group that need to be stopped at all cost. The Dominion has a particular interest in taking down the group after Pure Humanity Army committed a series of terrorist attacks on major European cities, including Lyon, Frankfurt, Cracow, Rome and more. For Europeans, it was like the attack on Pearl Harbor, only 20 times worse. Their main goal is to exterminate all Parahumans and everyone who will stand in their way. They're technically futuristic Nazi, but replace their hatred towards Jews with hatred towards Parahumans.

What do you think so far?

I find small issues with pretty much every part of that setup (it feels like an AU Marvel series). Ultimately though, you should just write it without looking for validation from tvtropes.

Marvel AU? Ouch, looks like I need to work with the whole concept a bit more. Thanks for the tip.

But, I'm open for ideas how could I improve the story. I don't want it to be X-Men rip-off (I don't want to be sued for infringement of copyright when I actually write the book and publish it).

What you need most is something that separates you from other superhero stories. Don't just ground your characters in reality, that has been done too many times (however I don't discourage this practice). What is a defying trait of a superhero? Do something with that trait, either remove it or replace it.

Kick-Ass is an excellent example of this. It's superheroes without the superpowers.

edited 18th Apr '18 9:07:31 PM by ParaChomp

I wanted to make this story into a science fiction action thriller. I forgot it to mention, but the story is also inspired by inFAMOUS and My Hero Academia (the premise of super-powered individuals), Command And Conquer and Star Craft (factions and their Faction Calculus in-universe) and more. I'm looking for inspiration everywhere, including music.

Anyway, I wanted the first book to focus on those 8 students I mentioned before, as they will be the protagonists. I plan to divide the first book into 10 chapters: Prologue, Epilogue (that would end with a cliffhanger for the sequel) and each chapted focusing on a different student and their small Story Arc. And let me tell you - not everyone is a hero. One can be classified as an Anti-Hero, while the other might be even full-blown Villain Protagonist. Oh, and people WILL die during the story.

By the way, my dad proposed me a different idea with Mass Super-Empowering Event. It still inolves Nazis experiments with Super-Soldier program, but the catalyst for awakening the powers is different. Instead of the gas, a deadly plague similar to Black Death will be the catalyst. Allow me to elaborate. My dad suggested, that around the time when the Black Death was ravaging Europe, another similar disease struck. It was also as lethal as Bubonic Plague, but some infected would after a couple of days recover. Those who survived afterwards became immune to the virus. Additionally, among those survivors, some of them would develop super powers. That would in-universe explain witch hunts and other plot points in future installments. This idea fits slightly better with my ideas, because it leaves me with more opportunities with altering world's history in the book. After the Allies destroyed the facility, they accidentally released the plague, causing huge epidemic in Europe (and that would turn into pandemic in 1946). That would mean countless deaths and major change of power in the world. Also, it gives me a good way to kill off Hitler

...it would be easier to just replace the entire IRL Black Death with a fictional one that gives the survivors and some of their descendants minor superpowers that can be unlocked by surviving an encounter with that man-made disease. The BD Survivors are just the ones who lived and had their power unlocked, the first showing of it being them suddenly healing all the damage done to them by the plague. This would mark them as 'witches' and be something to hide, which would make it harder for later generations to track them down and expose them to the... "Dreckig-Beulenpest" and turn them into war machines.

I would also suggest at least 20 chapters of 3000 words or so each.

That is a great idea. I'll take it into consideration.

But, I wonder how should I make this disease spread across the world to kill of plenty people and give survivors their powers. Go for a global pandemic or small, separate outbreaks? Because in story proper, people with powers are everywhere. They consist of at least 23-27% of human population. However, their biggest concentration is in Europe.

I would like now to discuss the factions existing in this world:

• European Dominion
• American Alliance
• Inheritor Movement
• Pure Humanity Army
• Enigma

European Dominion is a Hegemonic Empire, ruled by the Autarch and the Dominion Senate. As a result of history taking a much different path, this Dominion was founded instead of European Union.

It is a combination of elective monarchy with absolute monarchy. Autarch holds absolute power, while the Senate is a cabinet of advisers to the Autarch and it consists of representatives from each member country. If the Autarch is no longer able to rule (due to sickness, old age or death), the Senate will choose a new Autarch. It can be the either a member of the Senate or Autarch's relative (usually their children as long as they are at least 20 years old).

Although each country belonging to the Dominion must obey the Autarch, they still retain their autonomy. They have their own governments that can do whatever they want as long as they don't endanger the citizens of the Dominion or do something really stupid, for example start a war with neighboring country. If they behave and bring profit to the Dominion, Autarch won't do anything. He might even reward them for their efforts.

In terms of military, European Dominion is quite formidable. They are the only faction to utilize Parahumans en-masse in both regular army and special forces. Each Parahuman from the day they manifest their powers are trained rigorously in controlling their powers. In case of war, all Parahumans with useful powers are conscripted to the military.

American Alliance is geopolitical coalition between USA, Canada and Mexico. It was founded during the Cold War, when the world was dealing with the pandemic caused by Nazi's synthetic Black Death. At first, this tight-knit alliance's purpose was to scare off communists from taking advantage of the chaos the plague caused. But, after seeing how beneficial it is to them, these countries decided to keep the coalition alive after the collapse of USSR.

American Alliance is the only faction, that can match European Dominion's military might. Although they don't use Parahumans as Dominion does (only in special forces), they easily make up for it with sheer firepower. Alliance has much better equipment and vehicles than Dominion. But, if there was a war between them, it would end in a stalemate.

Inheritor Movement is a powerful and slightly radical social pro-Parahuman movement, fighting for the rights of the discriminated Parahumans. Surprisingly, super-powered and non-powered people are welcome to join the movement.

It was founded in the late 90' in Japan. The movement had a rough start, as they weren't very popular due to their extremely radical beliefs. After they mellowed down and and changed their general approach, they fared much better. As of 2029, they unofficially control most of East Asia and Australia and their ideology began to take root in Europe and North America.

Pure Humanity Army is an extremely dangerous terrorist group, trying to eradicate all Parahumans from the face of the Earth by any means possible. Armed with their zeal and highly advanced weaponry, they pose a huge threat to anyone fighting them. Their best soldiers can fight Parahumans on even terms.

It is believed that the group was neutralized or at least weakened significantly after their leader, a former US general Anthony Hammond, was killed in European Dominion's retaliation attack on their headquarters in Africa. Pure Humanity Army was thrown into disarray, with their commanders fighting each other for control. Individual cells still pose a huge threat though...

PHA is secretly being put back together by Hammond's successor. The united organization will launch a big invasion on Arcadia - a symbol of unity between European Dominion and American Alliance, as well as desire of co-existence with Parahumans. The sequel to the first book will be about students' desperate attempt to escape the invasion and PHA's onslaught.

[Pure Humanity Army was heavily influenced by Brotherhood of Nod and HYDRA. Mostly Nod though. Especially in them being splintered after their leader's death.]

Enigma is a Benevolent Conspiracy working behind the scenes tirelessly to create a world, where normal people and Parahumans can co-exist. But, they are willing to do anything to achieve their goals, including staging political assassinations. Enigma was responsible for creating Inheritor Movement and European Dominion.

I still need to work on the names of the factions and their backstories a bit.

edited 3rd May '18 4:48:53 PM by ArcticDog18

Bump

Well, that idea with replacing IRL Black Death with fictional one is good. But, I could simply give Bubonic Plague an ability to grant powers to survivors.

Anyway, I noticed a plot hole here - how would the Nazi discover the truth about the plague and super powers? And I think I got the answer - one of the descendants who awoken to his powers was working with the Third Reich! He revealed his family's history recorded over the centuries and promised Hitler to create an army of super-humans. The reason why he wasn't killed for being a mutant is because the prospect of having soldiers having super-powers was very tempting. Also, he was a walking, breathing example of a perfect Aryan the Nazi glorified so much.

This descendant was the head of Nazi Super-Soldier program. He was responsible for creating synthetic version of Black Death and for selection of candidates for the project. He died during the Allied attack on his facility.

And now, let's talk about people with powers, because here the story shines.

First of all, all Parahumans possess much stronger immune systems than normal people, they have much faster metabolism and they recover from injuries slightly faster. They are less likely to suffer from certain diseases like diabetes, cancer or AIDS (although in case of AIDS, they might become carriers). Physically, they are superior to normal humans. But, sometimes because of the nature of their powers, they might struggle in certain environments and they might need to get a specialized equipment (for example a special headphones for a Parahuman with super hearing) or move somewhere else.

Like I mentioned before, in-universe Parahumans are divided into certain categories:

• Elemental - basically all elemental powers;
• Naturae - any ability related to flora and fauna. Controlling plants, creating powerful pheromones or shapeshifting into animals or animal-like forms. It includes turning into werebeasts or dragons.
• Meta - physical mutations. Laser eyes, growing spikes all across your body, super-strength, super-speed, etc.
• Psychic - any mental powers. Telekinesis, telepathy, mind reading, mind control, clairvoyance.
• Enigma - powers, that generally don't fit the previous 4 categories. They are mysterious and very hard to understand. So far, abilities like Power Copying, Super-Empowering, power nullification, stealing powers from other Parahumans, creating portals to any location in the world, teleportation and time manipulation belong to this category. I was thinking to divide this powers into 2 different categories:
  • Prime or Alpha for powers related to affecting other Parahumans' abilities
  • Time and Space for the obvious.

In this universe, it is possible for one Parahuman to possess more than one power and it doesn't have to be from the same category. It is mostly possible through inheritance. Technically, if someone REALLY wanted to, they could make a kid with Shouto Todoroki's power set.

For example, two major characters, a brother and sister, have powers from both Elemental and Naturae categories. Their Naturae power is the ability to turn into a fox, werefox or Little Bit Beastly fox-human hybrid. Their Elemental power is Pyrokinesis. Another example is one of the 8 students and de facto main character, who possesses Pyrokinesis and Power Copying abilities.

I would get into more details about their powers, but I think I wrote enough for now.