Things Bob is not allowed to do on TVTropes

2999. I am not the "Queen of the Anomalies."

2999.1. Or King.

2999.2. Or High Priest/Priestess.

2999.3. Hell, I've never worked at the Foundation, and Bob is to cease trying to give me a grandiose title referring to the Foundation just to try to get on my good side.

3000. No, Bob, the fact that you got a not allowed list with 3000 entries before Mr. Welch is not a badge of honor.

Edited by OopityDoop on Mar 16th 2023 at 12:46:34 PM

3001. Just because I'm male doesn't mean I can't be a Goddess. If Jadwiga could be king then I can be a Goddess.

3002: Bob may not call people in the middle of the night to ask the following questions:

• Mother, have the kittens stopped their screaming yet?
• There are children outside my window… T-POSING. WHY DO THEY T-POSE?
• The job is done… where do I bury the body?
• Have you heard the good word of BALTOCORE, ASSOCIATE ARCH FIEND OF THE THIRD LEVEL OF HECK?

Edited by BigBadShadow25 on Mar 16th 2023 at 3:59:50 PM

3002.1. Bob may not call people at night, period. A lot of people are asleep at that time, and some even sleep early around 6pm.

3003. Bob is not allowed to be horny on main.

3004. Bob cannot tie my plushes to a ceiling fan so we can get hit by them. How did he even get those!?

3004.1 Bob is also not allowed to arrange and rearrange Funko Pop figurines in specific locations to slowly drive his coworkers / neighbors / family members / parole officer insane.

3005: If Balticore (sorry, BALTOCORE, ASSOCIATE ARCH FIEND OF THE THIRD LEVEL OF HECK) actually shows up, Bob will be fed to him first.

3006: Bob may not teach his familliars any parlor tricks.

Edited by dvorak on Mar 16th 2023 at 1:26:20 AM

3007: Bob is not allowed to revive Troper Tales.

3008: Bob is to stop calling people, quote, "two-thousand-and-late." If anything, he's the two-thousand-and-late one here.

3009. Bob may not taste my food, for any reason.

3009. Bob is no longer allowed entry into The Kedabory Verse.

3010 When assembling IKEA furniture, Bob is to follow the instructions. Failure to do so has, in the past, created shrines to long dead deities, interdimensional entities, and BALTOCORE ASSOCIATE ARCH DEMON OF THE THIRD LEVEL OF HECK.

3010.1 Bob is not allowed to make “substitutions” for present or missing materials from the IKEA kits.

Edited by BigBadShadow25 on Mar 16th 2023 at 9:45:59 AM

3009.1: Or mine. Seriously, Bob. Stop stealing my chicken wings.

3011 Bob is banned from traveling by hot air balloon until he can learn that the bathroom is not over the side of the basket.

3011.1. Bob may not travel in any airborne vehicle.

3012: The only reason Bob is allowed on any vehicle is because he threatened to quit if he had to walk to work.

3012.1 The only reason we haven’t called his bluff is the knowledge of the damage he could do if he worked anywhere else.

3013: The number 13 isn't inherently unlucky, nor is 4, 9, or 108.

3013.1 Neither are black cats. They're too beautiful to associate with bad luck.❤🐱

Edited by CosmosAndChaos on Mar 17th 2023 at 3:19:25 PM

3013.2. There is no such thing as good luck or bad luck. It's just random probability distributions that cause any sort of "luck".

3014 Bob is not allowed to taze people who say the word “Shazam” in order to “create superheroes”. Is Bob even allowed to have a taser? There’s a lot of rules to keep track of!

3015: If Bob has not already been banned from carrying a taser, he absolutely should be.

3015.1: Can confirm, Bob had his tazer taken away because he can't not taze people with it (namely me). See rule 2863 on page 121.

3016: Bob is never to know what H. P. Lovecraft named his cat.

Edited by dvorak on Mar 17th 2023 at 9:58:07 AM

3017: Bob is not allowed to lie about his job in order to pick up women.

3018: He is also not allowed to wear this list like a badge of honor in order to pick up women. Having people tell you what not to do isn't something worth bragging about.

3019: Both of these rules also apply to picking up men. You won't get the chance to be clever, fuckhead.

3019.1: Nor to picking up alien/multidimensional life-forms with

• A) No Biological Sex,
• B) both sexes at once, or
• C) Non-binary humans.