"How did you even do that? If you truly want to be a couple..... well, be careful what you wish for."
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”"Well, We'll have to play by it for the episode. Anything for the ratings. -goes over to Ford- Hey, Ford...."
(Chey whispers in his ear "Do you wanna fake a relationship for this episode?", Ford nods his head in agreement.)
"Say, Ford.... Is it me or does your eyes look more lovelier than usual today?" (Chey strokes Ford's cheek, The audience goes "oooOOhh!")
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."From now on I'm gonna use bold for minor characters.
(puts Romantic Karate on the tv, playing the role of the love guru.)
"Keep your kids away, because this program is Adults Only." says Chop Chop Master Onion, on the tv.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”Sounds good with me. :)
(cue laugh track)
"Well we come on before Tropey and we can't go into TV-14 territory so..."
"Darling, May I have the privilege of taking you out on a date?" (Ford winks at Chey)
"Why yes you may, love. We'll be back, Tales! No throwing parties." (Ford and Chey leave the house, leaving Tales alone.)
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."(instantly throws a party, laugh track)
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”(Cue a silly montage between Ford and Chey with the song Happy Together by The Turtles playing, thus delivering another blow to the show's budget. The montage starts with Ford and Chey arriving at the local Italian restaurant.)
"Well, First activity as a fake couple; Go out to eat."
"Well that's good, I skipped breakfast."
(The scene then transitions to Ford scarfing down a entire basket of breadsticks while waiting for the main course._
"Should I order a lovely group serving of tiramisu as well, Ford?"
"Tiramisu?"
"It's a Italian dessert. This restaurant makes two versions of it; A normal version and a alcoholic version."
"A alcoholic version? Where's the waitress?" (cue laugh track. The scene then cuts to Chey helping Ford to the taxi)
"I think they put too much booze in your tiramisu."
(slurring) "Ohhh, I don't think they did anything wrong.... It was the best tira-ma-soup I've EVER had..." (cue laugh track, cut to scene where Chey is playing on the swing sets at the park as Ford looks on.)
"Aren't you over 150 years old? In Time Lord years I mean?"
"Well I am still young. Why not push me, Ford?"
"If you say so..." (Ford proceeds to push Chey on the swings. As a couple of teenage friends past them by, The two aliens do their fake couple schtick.)
"Wheeee! Push me higher, lovey!" (Ford pushes Chey higher as the teenage friends gave a look.)
"Now that is serious relationship goals."
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaas. How come my boo don't do that to me?" (Cue laugh track as the teens then walk away)
"Well that's those teens gone." (Chey slows her swinging down, then stops and gets off.)
"So what now?"
"Go see a movie?"
(cut to Chey and Ford getting tickets at the movie theater)
"Ummm, Two tickets to Slasher's Rampage, please?"
"Right. Should I recommend a more lighter movie for you two? Like Ponyo? This movie is R-rated for graphic violence and gore and it has some very disturbing and frightening scenes in it."
"No, We'll just watch the R-rated movie, thanks."
(The music stops there as the camera cuts to Ford and Chey in the theater watching Slasher's Rampage. The sounds of a chainsaw, a young woman's screams, and a bunch of splatters are heard.)
"Oh Zarquon, He's disemboweling her!"
(another young lady's screams are heard.)
MURDERER IN MOVIE: You're next.
WOMAN IN MOVIE: Noooo! Please don't hurt me! I wanna live! I wanna see my baby!
MURDERER IN MOVIE: Too bad, sweetie.
"OH RASSILON! Don't kill the pregnant lady!"
WOMAN IN MOVIE: W-what are you doin- NO! NO!! PLEASE DON'T HURT MY BABY!!!
(A slashing sound and the woman's screams, now even louder, are heard. Chey faints while Ford throws up in his complimentary vomit bag)
WOMAN IN MOVIE: No! No! NOOO-
(The montage abruptly ends with Ford and Chey leaving the theater, absolutely pale as a bedsheet and shaking.)
"We should've seen Ponyo instead." (cue laugh track as the two aliens go home in a taxi)
Hope y'all have Spotify.
edited 5th Jan '18 8:34:17 PM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."“Jeez, with all that R-Rated stuff going on in there you might as well do the Romantic Karate from earlier!” I say through a loudspeaker.
Also, I’d cool it with the long posts.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”Sorry about that!
(Ford and Chey walk into Tales' very wild party)
"What?! I thought I said no parties.... Ahh, Nevermind." -goes to switch the TV on and sit on the couch, moving some party guests in the process-
WEATHERMAN: And make sure you at least have a umbrella tonight, We're expecting a severe thunderstorm with huge winds.
"Oh dear."
edited 5th Jan '18 9:37:25 PM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."(KRACKOOM! A bolt of lightning strikes a seagull on the roof.)
“Alas, seagull, We Hardly Knew Ye.”
edited 5th Jan '18 9:30:42 PM by TalesofUnder
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”-ring! ring!-
"Hello? Oh hi again. What? Oh, seriously? Neat, Thanks for calling. Bye. -hangs up- Well they moved Tropey the Wonder Dog to the weekends because since Tropey aired on a timeslot where many young viewers are in bed plus they cancelled a god-awful soap opera set in a cheese shop and so we got more budget and more freedom now."
"What does that mean?"
"That means we can repair some things in the house and cram some Are You Being Served?-esque jokes!"
edited 5th Jan '18 9:46:16 PM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."“I guess that means you can watch the romantic karate now.”
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”(Ford looks out the window, it's now raining outside)
"What are you looking at, Ford?"
"Just seeing what the neighbors are up to." (Chey looks out the window to see the neighbors waving, cue laugh track)
"Oh, That's just Dr. Foreman, his granddaugher, and her teachers."
"No, I meant the other neighbors. Look!" (Chey and Ford look out the window to see new neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Skittle getting ready for the storm.)
"We're gonna need to chop some branches off with our new, waterproof, ultra-powerful chainsaw, honey!"
"Ahhh, I'll do it before bed."
(Cut back to Chey, Ford, and Tales)
"Well, I'm off to bed."
"Wait for me! I'm not sleeping alone tonight thanks to that movie."
edited 5th Jan '18 10:51:43 PM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."“We can only hope that doesn’t land on us.”
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”(cut to Chey and Ford in the bedroom. While Chey is wearing Dalek pajamas to bed, Ford, who is already in bed, is simply wearing his outfit sans his jacket and sweater vest..)
"Hope you don't snore..." -fluffs pillow, gets under the covers-
"I don't." (cue laugh track)
"Good. Nighty night..." (the muffled sounds of the storm fill the room, heavy rain and low rumbles of thunder are heard. A tree branch then scratches a window. Ford rises up.)
"What was that?"
"That's a tree branch, Ford."
"....Oh." -lays back down- "What if that's the murderer from that movie?"
"It isn't."
(cut to Mr. Skittle in the Tropers' yard powering up the chainsaw, getting ready to cut down the tree branches, then cut back to Ford bolting up from the bed)
"SWEET MOTHER OF ZARQUON! IT'S THE SLASHER FROM THAT MOVIE!!"
"Do you want a warm cup of mil- (a shadow of Mr. Skittle with his chainsaw casts over the window) OH SMEG!" -gets back under the covers-
edited 6th Jan '18 9:51:05 AM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."“I ain’t afraid of no slasher villain!”
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”"Well at least we have a Pokemon to pro-" -cue chainsaw noise-
(Ford and Chey scream and while Ford gets under the covers, flinging Tales off and sending him out the bedroom door in the process, Chey slams the bedroom door and locks it, leaving the pet door unlocked, and quickly goes back under the covers.)
"Right, I'm actually scared now."
"We're doomed, absolutely doomed!" (they scream again as they scramble under the covers to escape, making a bunch of screaming, wailing, and in Ford's case, groaning noises.)
edited 6th Jan '18 10:04:50 AM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."(The shadow begins to close in on Ford and Chey, just as an ad break occurs)
”Mmm.... worm doodles! Squishy, squashy Worm Doodles! In all your favorite flavors! Original, Chocolate, Sea Cucumber, Lemon, Orange, RED, and new fat free! Grab ‘em, cause you gotta have ‘em!”
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”(Cuts back to the show's logo)
ANNOUNCER: We now return to Tropers: The Series.
(audience applause as camera zooms in on the Tropers' house, Ford and Chey are still screaming over the shadow and the sounds of the chainsaw, although their movements under the covers are looking a bit more awkward right now, cue laugh track. Meanwhile, Mr. Skittle finished giving the tree in the Tropers' yard a haircut.)
"Well I'm pooped. Off to bed!" (cut back to Ford and Chey, who stuck their heads out)
"D-did you hear that? The chainsaw stopped..... Ford... Do you know what this means?"
"We're not going to die! YES!!"
(Chey gives out a WHOOPEE! and together, they bounce around the bed, which is very squeaky, as Ford shouted "YES! YES! YES!" and Chey laughs in celebration of the fact they're not gonna die.)
edited 6th Jan '18 2:34:40 PM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."A lurker emerges. "Could this two man-show use a trio?"
"...wait, what's that about us going to die?"
Seriously. Send help.Heeeeeeey, Welcome to the game!
(the audience gives a loud applause for Trapped, The loud creaking and noises from Chey and Ford stopped. Ford opens the door and steps out, His hair and clothes looking disheveled. cue laugh track)
"Welcome to our home... Oh, there's no need to worry about getting killed now. We're safe now... Anyways, Ford Prefect. Nice to meet you..." -shakes Trapped's hand-
edited 6th Jan '18 3:11:09 PM by EeveeGirlChey
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."(I walk in through the pet door.)
"Give him the run down on recent events."
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”(Chey steps out as well. Someone is knocking on the door. Chey goes to the door and opens it, It is Mr. Skittle.)
"Hello, troopers! I thought I'd visit to check on you since I heard noises while I trimmed some branches off your tree. I hope I didn't disturb you..."
(Ford gets really mad.)
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA KILL US LIKE THAT MURDERER FROM THAT SLASHER MOVIE I WATCHED! I was fearing for my life and as you can clearly see, I'm still shaking!!"
"Oops, I'm really sorry about that.... It's my new chainsaw." (cue laugh track)
"Ford, Ford...." (Ford proceeds to yell gibberish at Mr. Skittle then falls on his knees and breaks down in tears. Chey goes up to Mr. Skittle)
"I'm really sorry about that, Mr. Skittle. Hope you aren't unhappy with us..."
"No, no, no... I should be sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow, I'll have my wife bring over some cupcakes tomorrow. Good night!" (Mr. Skittle shuts the door and leaves. Ford is still bawling his eyes out. Chey gets down on the floor and gives him a Cooldown Hug. Cue the audience go "Awwww...")
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you....""I said "give him the rundown"."
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”"Oh yeah. Well, four episodes ago, I arrived. I had a clone of a dead musician with me. Then we found out my clone only had a three-episode contract so I sent him to E-Space. This sad Betelgeusian who's crying on my shoulder is my clone's replacement. Then a bunch of Pokemon cards were thrown, etc, etc. Then last episode, Ford got sick, I took care of him, Audience loved it, So we decided "Why not give the audience some Ship Tease?" so we spent half of this episode doing lovey-dovey things. Then we thought it'd be a good idea to see a gory slasher flick instead of Ponyo, then a storm started when we got home, And our neighbor thought it would be a good idea to cut some weak branches off our tree. Ford and I, still scared from the slasher flick, thought it was the villain from the movie so we scrambled around the covers trying to escape. When the neighbor stopped, We celebrated by bouncing around the bed. Then as you just saw, Our neighbor came to check on us and Ford got mad to the point where he's now having a emotional breakdown."
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."
"Well if the audience wants a couple, We'll give them what they want."
(Chey gets a permanent marker, crosses out the episode title, crosses out Unknown and replaces it with 24, and writes a new episode title. when she is done, The title reads;"
Episode 24: Lovey-Dovey Fluff for The Viewers
"There, That can be the alternative title. The Pokemon cards thing can be a subplot."
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."