(In a cave lived a squirrel who was watching the school bus making its way through her home. She gasps in delight, dashes through her cave, which was all decorated in tacky inspirational quotes, family photos, and "Live, Laugh, Love" tat, and drags out two big bags from her room.)
"Finally! A bus full of potential customers."
(Meanwhile...)
"I don't think so!"
(The squirrel then comes out of the cave. Turns out she was much, much bigger than they thought. She proceeds to climb on top of the bus and looks at Tropes and After through the windshield as she shouts...)
"HEEEEEEEEEEEY, HUNS!! I'M HAVING A SPECIAL HOLIDAY SALE ON MY ESSENTIAL OILS!!!"
(Cue scary music.)
"I got lavender, bergamot, peppermint, eucalyptus, sandalwood, and hundreds other great scents and blends! Bundles and roll-ons are available! I'll even throw in a pair of LULAROE LEGGINGS FOR FREE IF YOU SPEND $200! Have a sample!"
(Squaren then rips the bus punches a bus door window and throws her samples at Tropes and After.)
"Excellent! What scents do you want? We have regular scents and scent blends. Have some more samples!"
(Squaren gives Tropes and After samples of scent blends.)
"Would you like a gift bundle? Regular or roll-on?"
(Squaren smiles brightly at Tropes.)
"While I'm at it, would you also like to learn how to make $500 a week selling these wonderful oils? Or how about the many things they can cure?"
I text Avie back:
please help us. squaren is trying to sell us essential oils. its a christmas nightmare. send tweet
I then turn to Tropes. "Yeah, sure, they'll make fine gifts, anything to make her go away please."
Edited by Afterwards on Dec 28th 2020 at 8:10:24 AM
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster"Oh, thank you very much! This will really make my Christmas even though most of the profits will end up back to the company I work for! Let me ring up your total..."
(Squaren then pulls out a calculator and starts tapping away.)
"Cash or credit?"
(Meanwhile back at the apartment...)
"Maaaaaaaaan, what's taking Tropes and After so long? They're gonna miss the going out of business sale."
(Pan over to the gingerbread Blockbuster, now with signs saying "STORE CLOSING" and "EVERYTHING MUST GO and sad faces on the gingerbread Blockbuster employees.)
"Don't forget the ornament decorating and cookie baking."
"Oh, right! I forgot I had those planned."
"Great. Oh, no! I left the card scanner back home..."
(Beat. Squaren then throws the two bags through the broken window before jumping through it and then ripping the interior of the bus apart while screaming.)
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY DOTERRA NOW?!!?!?"
(Back at the apartment, a few more knocks on the door were heard.)
"HO, HO, HO! It's Sonny Claus wanting milk, cookies, and the rent, so let me in!"
(Chey opens the door to let Sonny in.)
"Thanks, honey. Alright, let's get down to business."
(Sonny then gives Chey four envelopes.)
"Smegging heck! Are we behind on the rent or something?"
"Nah, one of 'em's the rent, another one's a holiday card, another is a little flyer about some holiday activities that I organized, and the very last one is a invitation for everyone in here."
"Hm, alright then."
(Chey then opens one of the envelopes, a gold and white one, and pulls out a card with wedding bells on it. She opens it and read it aloud to the others.)
"You are cordially invited to celebrate the marriage of Sonny Neil Sunflora and Remington Pierce Roserade on February 13th at the gardens at Drewski Park. Somebody couldn't get February 14th."
"They're holding some fancy ball at the gardens on Valentine's Day."
"Ohhhh. By the way, why Neil?"
"After Neil Sedaka. My mama was crazy about him back in the day."
"...oh."
Edited by EeveeGirlChey on Dec 30th 2020 at 10:14:57 AM
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."The North Pole
We focus on a small, snow-covered hill. Santa's workshop can be seen just down the road. Elves and arctic creatures run around near the hill, not paying it much mind. As soon as those coast is clear, however, a door opens in the hill and out exits a massive coconut crab wearing an ugly Christmas sweater.
I hope you appreciate this, drawing attention away from myself isn't exactly my style.
thebeatles.com/careersThe North Pole
Out comes Waluigi as well. His outfit is mostly the same, except he's exchanged his usual cap for a purple Santa hat with the iconic inverted L symbol stitched into it.
"Eh, whatever! Once the red idiot is gone, we'll both be getting all the attention we could ever want!"
Edited by DubhKafkaesque on Dec 30th 2020 at 3:05:06 PM
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!Meanwhile, back at the ranch..... I mean, the bus.
"I got nothin," I shrug, picking at my teeth with a toothpick. "Eugh, I think I got the remains of that gingerbread murder victim stuck in my teeth."
Edited by Afterwards on Jan 1st 2021 at 7:59:00 AM
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster

"Okay, first of all, it's art. It's not meant to be eaten! Alright? It's meant to be admired as it destroys gingerbread towns! And second of all, you're gonna pay for trying to eat Gary!"
"Gary."
"Yeah! I named the gingerbread Godzilla "Gary"! What's wrong with that?"
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.