"...uh..."
(Did he... not get the purpose of this?)
"Something tells me he's never been in a drag race before. Still, an impressive performance nonetheless."
(I like Ch...aaaarlie Chaplin's performance better to be honest.)
"Indeed, while her general performance has been subpar, her dress on the runway was stunning. The mural with all her friends on it was especially gorgeous! The amount of work put into it must have been immense! It was beautiful! But...."
"It wasn't on theme!" Chev exclaims.
Mike nods solemnly. "And for that, we must dock points. Now, onto Mr. Charlie Chaplin..."
"I liked his! A fitting callback to the old days of racing!"
Mike agrees. "And his performance in the Maxi challenge was exceptional. We may have an underdog in Mr. Chaplin."
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster"For sure, for sure!"
(I... did not get the purpose of his outfit just now though. It didn't strike me as particularly race-y, aside from a strip of checkerboard-flag pattern.)
"Those jumpsuits back in the day used to be pretty simple, they were often just red with racing stripes along the sides. Or did I miss the point of it?"
Mike seems to think for a bit. "Hmm, I'm not sure. It is perhaps too late to ask his intent, but I think I'll count it."
"Now... what do you think of Mr. Itsame Mario?"
Edited by Afterwards on Aug 21st 2020 at 4:33:00 AM
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster(His outfit during the last challenge wasn't on-theme either! At least he could've had a kart or something!)
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!"Could've been better, could've been worse."
(Were it not for the phone being thrown across the runway at the most inopportune time, it could've easily been the most interesting performance...)
"Why didn't she show up in person anyway? I forgot."
Edited by KungFuCutBug on Aug 21st 2020 at 7:42:30 AM
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!"Who knows. Regardless, she had to do the Maxi challenge over the phone, and perform the runway via hologram. Were it not for that, she may have been among the top contenders."
"I think we have deliberated nearly enough to make a decision, but I would like Mr. Waluigi to share his opinion first."
Mike looks over at the floor next to the runway.
"Oh... They left the phone here....."
Edited by Afterwards on Aug 21st 2020 at 4:45:43 AM
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster"Shit."
[Gameboy picks up the phone and yells to the backstage.]
(THINK FAST, CONTESTANTS!)
[He then proceeds to yeet the phone backstage as hard as he can.]
Edited by KungFuCutBug on Aug 21st 2020 at 7:47:02 AM
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!"WAHAHA!"
Waluigi abruptly comes to and grabs the smelling salts, shoving them in his pocket.
"Fool! Did you really think Waluigi was having a seizure from out of nowhere? No! He was simply tricking you into giving him free smelling salts!"
He shakes his head, still chuckling to himself.
"And it also meant Waluigi could see how these contestants act when they think he isn't looking! Needless to say, Waluigi is very disappointed with what he saw."
There is a shocked ooohhh from the Canned Laughter Machine. It needs to come from the CLM because the actual crowd is just silently fed up with Waluigi's shit by now.
"Sans Undertale! Lazy! Low effort! Just like the stupid character you based your performance on! Waluigi gives you ZERO!"
"Esteban Yu! Waluigi advises you to save the fancy schmancy technology stuff for the drag race! It fitted here about as well as your wig! ZERO!"
"Traermary! Waluigi is not going to give you a score. He is lobbying to have you disqualified for BEING TOO LAZY TO ATTEND IN PERSON! EVEN WARIO IS NOT THAT BONE IDLE!"
"HEY! I'm still here, yannow!"
"Waluigi knows, Waluigi cares not. Anyway! Princess - you know what, Waluigi is going to give a princess zero on principle. They always pick the worst guys to be their princes! Like that goddamned green one"!
Waluigi's nostrils flare in rage at the mere thought of Luigi.
"Itsame Mario."
Another nostril flare.
"No comment. Minus one hundred. Waluigi hopes your car crashes."
"Charlie Chaplin! WHY CAN NONE OF YOU RIDICULOUS CREATURES BE ORIGINAL? WHY ARE YOU ALL IMPRESSIONISTS? IT IS DRIVING WALUIGI ROUND THE BEND! WAAAAAAAAAAAA! And anyway, what were you thinking, wearing a moustache in the presence of Waluigi's glorious facial hair? You were always destined to be outshined! ZERO ZERO ZERO!"
"And... Krystal Methany! Waluigi must admit, the dedication that clearly went into this costume was impressive. You exhibit a grasp of showmanship almost comparable to Waluigi's own. But! Waluigi has a theme to keep up! ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Edited by DubhKafkaesque on Aug 21st 2020 at 2:42:00 PM
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright![Gameboy's halo briefly morphs into a spiral tornado-like shape, indicating his annoyance with Waluigi.] (I swear to Chaos, this man will cause me to grey-cocoon...)
Edited by KungFuCutBug on Aug 21st 2020 at 9:41:34 AM
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!Knife heelies back outside, crashing through multiple boxes and mannequins. DRAC RACE! RACE CAR!" Itsame follows, switching focus between whatever the fuck Waluigi is doing and the contestant that is crashing into shit in front of him.
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.As the tropers file in, the walls of the runway suddenly lower down, revealing a large racetrack just outside the building, where a bunch of shirtless mechanics are preparing the finishing touches on a variety of cars.
"Finally, it's my time to shine!" Chev exclaims, standing up.
"RACERS!! You have proven yourself in a variety of challenges. Whether it comes to trash talk, comedy, or the runway, you have proven yourselves POWERFUL and STRONG!!! Now it's time to take that strength and put it ALL onto the road! The winner of this race determines the true King or Queen of Love, Beauty, and Violence!!!!"
Mike stands up next to Chev, holding an arm around his waist.
"Very well said, my dear," he says. "Now, before we start the big race, I must announce the winners of the challenges."
"Krystal Methany. In the Maxi challenge, you performed a skit where you quite literally snatched your own wig. But on the runway, you bedazzled us with your extravagant dress, blowing us away with your most powerful final form!"
"Esteban Yu. Your performance in the show has been top-notch all throughout, including your killer Chris Evans impression, and on the runway you showed off a suit of fantastic armor that will serve you well on the road. But, you have been infected with deadly neurotoxins and have become delirious."
"Both of you performed divaliciously, but only one of you will be claiming the first place advantage in the drag race. And that one is....."
"Krystal Methany!"
"Yes!" I exclaim, sashaying over the car at the front of the lineup. It looks like a high-end convertible, painted black with pink flames and golden racing stripes. Just behind me is Knife's car, which has most of the long ass list of specifications she gave the mechanics.
"Get ready to eat my dust, losers!" I taunt the others.
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster"Careful or we'll knock points off for unsportsmanlike conduct."
(Even drag royals have to have manners.)
Knife heelies over to her own car. It is a red and black sports car with spikes on the tires, exhaust pipes spewing flames and electricity, and a fuckton of buttons on the dashboard. It is also decorated with lightning bolt decals.
"HELL YEAH! RACE! RACE! RACE!"
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised."Now, as for the rest of you..." Mike turns to the other contestants.
"Charlie Chaplin. In the Maxi challenge, you performed a wonderful dance and sang a song of pure gibberish, and on the runway you showed off a jumpsuit evocative of the old days of racing."
"Princess Fordelina. Your performance in the snatch game was unsightly, but on the runway, you showed us a gorgeous dress with a mural giving thanks and love to all your friends - a heartfelt gesture of incredible proportions."
"Lady Traemary. You performed your challenges over the phone and via hologram, but your performance in both was stellar. If you can make it to the race on time, you may be able to claim the crown."
"The three of you are safe from the last place penalty, and moreover, you can pair up with each other if you wish. The option is yours to take."
Mike gestures Chey and Ford over to the racetrack, where a pair of cars are waiting for them.
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster"Smeg yeah!"
(Chey and Ford hug each other before heading to their heavily modified blue Ford Prefect 100E.)
"Wonder how the photon they managed to get that on the racetrack?"
(Chey and Ford then enter the vehicle.)
"I'm a bit worried about this race..."
"How come?"
"Well, anything can happen... Y'know, like a crash."
(Chey anxiously rubs her bump.)
"Hey, relax. The Mechanoid did a lot of improvements on security a few days ago in anticipation of the baby. If anything happens, we're all going to be alright. Plus, don't you still have that force field thing on you?"
"Oh, right. Thanks!"
(Meanwhile...)
"As for the last two..."
"Sans Undertale and Itsame Mario. Your dedication to your character is inspiring... but, as of now, that is all you have going for you. You both are going to have to work extra hard to win this race, and moreover, you will have to work together. You both will be paired up with the last place penalty."
Mike gestures them over to the last place on the racetrack.
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monsterOver at the other side of the racetrack, Waluigi is engaged in a heated argument with the mechanics.
"What do you MEAN Waluigi doesn't get to start on the finish line?! He did not steal all those wigs for nothing, you know!"
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright![The mechanic responds, impatiently.] "Waluigi, sir, you're a judge. The race is meant for contestants. Celebrity or not, rules are rules. Also, please put the wigs back where they belong."
[Gameboy glances over his shoulder in the direction of Waluigi and the mechanic.] (Oh great, there he goes again.)
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!

"Indeed, and his outfit did not fit the theme."
"Maybe he's saving the blasters for the big race?"
"Perhaps, although at this point, he may need them. But, I will give him one thing: His sans impressions have been top-notch."
Chev nods.
"Now, what of Princess Fordelina?"
"Oh, well... good," I respond. "And yeah, I think you did great Chey!"
Edited by Afterwards on Aug 21st 2020 at 4:12:11 AM
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster