Knife is now staring at the mayonaise covered Waluigi.
"...Judge Waluigi, I assure you, I do not fuck magic princesses. Especially not after having to sit through all of that." She grabs her flask, having been refilled with vodka, and chugs.
Meanwhile, Itsame perks up from the disgusted crowd. "I am NOT a SIMP!" he yells out to Waluigi.
Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Aug 2nd 2020 at 4:51:05 AM
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised."you know," Custard says, "you sound like you're describing your sexual fantasy, you genie shoes-wearing virgin motherfucker."
Edited by CustardAndPie on Aug 2nd 2020 at 3:51:10 AM
Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Waluigi lunges towards Kay, getting uncomfortably close to his face.
"YOU! You are the WORST! Waluigi remembers when you were a hobo licking scraps off of the Red One's boots! What did YOU ever do to deserve success? Since when have you possessed even a FRACTION of Waluigi's beauty, talent and charms? YOU ARE THE INCARNATION OF EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS WALUIGI-HATING WORLD, YOU USELESS FURBALL!"
Meanwhile, in the Mushroom Kingdom...
"HEY! WALUIGI!"
A small, portly fellow in yellow barges through the unlocked door to Waluigi's room.
"Your garlic bread's been ready an hour! What's keepin' ya?"
It takes a little bit for Wario to register the distinct lack of a lanky purple-clad presence. But there is a TV in the corner of the room, left on despite nobody being there to watch it. Out of simple curiosity, Wario takes a peek at the screen-
Just in time to see Waluigi screaming blue murder at a tanuki in a dress. The yellow plumber lets out an exasperated sigh.
"Goddammit, Waluigi."
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!(Chey was throwing up into a bucket after witnessing the horrific demonstration.)
"You ought to be sent to horny ja-"
(Chey throws up again.)
"....You ought to be sent to-"
(And again.)
"You-"
(And again. After that time, she blows her nose, drinks some water, and takes a bit of time to catch her breath.)
"You ought to be sent to horny jail for that nasty as smeg display! Wherever did you learn that kind of crap from? Looking at videos and fanart on the internet while having tissues and lotion on hand? Dang nasty as smeg Robbie Rotten-looking smeghead. Another thing, what kind of professional judge gets up in the faces of their own contestants and screams at them? Not even Simon Cowell ever did that kind of crap. This is a drag race, not Kitchen Nightmares!"
Edited by EeveeGirlChey on Aug 2nd 2020 at 4:11:46 AM
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."My eyes widen, as I try to tactfully sneak off the stage.
"Okay, okay, that's enough," says the host of the show. "Chev dear, can you take care of this?"
Chev Corvette, a large, burly man with a handlebar mustache, steps in between Kay and Waluigi, gently pushing them apart.
"Alright ladies, break it up," he says. "If you two got beef, settle it on the road."
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster"Man, smeg has gone wild. I need to go meditate."
(Chey then sneaks off to her TARDIS.)
"On second thought,"
(Chey then exits the TARDIS, returns to the others, and takes her gunstick out.)
Edited by EeveeGirlChey on Aug 2nd 2020 at 4:19:34 AM
"My light shall be the moon, and my path the ocean, my guide the morning star as I sail home to you...."Custard zaps both Kay and Waluigi... somehow.
"hey, knock it off you two, don't make this race a drag."
Cue the canned laughter.
Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside"AAAUUUUUGH" I scream, suddenly summoning a new Keyblade, dark and purple and riddled with designs of twisted tentacles and deep, glaring eyes.
"Here we go! Chains of Oglogoth!"
I point my Keyblade forward, as it splits apart into chains made of dark magic, spreading out towards Kay, Knife, and Waluigi in an attempt to grapple them all and hold them down.
Edited by Afterwards on Aug 2nd 2020 at 2:24:04 AM
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster

Throughout all the rose fighting, Waluigi has been sat there with a growing twitch in his eye. Finally and without warning, he erupts.
"ENOUGH!"
The crowd starts.
"Oh, yes, yes, you think you are so funny, don't you? Taunting Waluigi with the Red One's success even when it's Waluigi's time to shine! Yes, he is so popular, he is so beloved! FEH! Waluigi sees through his whole goody two shoes facade!"
The purple plumber stomps up the the stage, gesturing wildly at the leftover Mario-themed props.
"Every time, it is the same! The turtle has kidnapped the princess! The Red One must save her! And somehow nobody suspects that this is not just a hero being good and a villain being bad? NO NO NO NO NO! Waluigi sees the truth! Do you really think the Princess would still be getting captured in exactly the same way, over and over again, after this many times? Why is she not taking precautions? WALUIGI KNOWS! It is because there is nothing to take precautions about! She knows what she is doing! Oh, Waluigi can just see it now, the turtle lovingly taking the princess to his bedroom and-"
We shall cut Waluigi off here. Five minutes of turtle-on-human action being described in nauseatingly explicit detail is not something any audience member of Tropers: The Series would want to sit through, and it gets even worse when Waluigi somehow acquires a traffic cone, a hula hoop and a squirty mayonnaise packet and engages in graphic prop-based reenaction of the events described. Instead, the scene fades back in on Waluigi panting and covered in mayo, and those audience members who have not fled looking nauseous.
"Oh, yes! It is a fine spectacle, but do not let the SIMP in red distract you for a second! This is a travesty of an act! On a scale of one to Waluigi, Waluigi awards this performance MINUS TEN!
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!