"All... alright."
"Eight in the morning, I woke up to my... warning? I mean my alarm clock. For breakfast I had toast, I love that the most. I went to the balcony to watch a cool falcon...y. Jerome read the paper..." Mrs. E rattles on about the surprisingly bland things that went on in this day at such a spooky mansion.
As Mrs. E rattles on, Knife might notice that the knife has a word engraved in the blade: "BUTLER."
Very good kitty"Oh, goodie, our witness fancies herself a poet."
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!"Well, she's fancied herself a poet since episode 2 of this season!" says Puma.
"About the butler... not anymore. It's a woeful tale also filled with gore. He left 3 years ago for Butler Murder School. He was murdered on the way there, what a fool."
"Just before the murder, I was reading a book. It filled me with dread - here, take a look."
Mrs. E pulls out an old, hand-bound book from behind her back. It's titled "HISTORY AND RECORDS OF EVILDEATHMURDERBLOODKILLDARKGORESTABBENSTEIN MANOR. (TL:DR, it's totally haunted, bro)
Edited by DrNoPuma on Jul 4th 2020 at 3:20:13 PM
Very good kittyKnife is still looking at the kitchen at the different engravings. From what it looks like, each knife belongs to a different person. Sorta like a "write your name on your lunch" but with more death. Suddenly, she hears some spooky ass noises.
"Hey, who the fuck was that?"
Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Jul 4th 2020 at 3:28:01 PM
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.Knife runs back to the group. "Hey guys! I don't mean to infringe on the morbid drama, but I'm like, 99% sure I heard a ghost in the kitchen." She rested her body on the side of the doorway. "Could be in my head though", she mumbled.
Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Jul 4th 2020 at 8:12:28 AM
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised."Here's my question."
Kafka reclines on whatever nearby object is most suitable for reclining on smugly.
"In all the years this place has been around, did nobody stop to think that maybe, maybe, a place called Evildeathmurderbloodkilldarkgorestabbenstein Manor was bad news?"
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!"Sounds plausable. So, are we gonna have to kill this ghost? Could a knife do it?" Knife then shows off the bloody Butler knife that she pulled out of the body. "And what's the motive for this ghost anyways? You did mention the butler got murdered years ago...Hey, Mrs. E, can we look through your husband's stuff?"
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.Mrs. E looks offended by Kafka's accusation. "I'll have you know my ancestors are from the country of Lunavania. That name in Lunavanian means "peace and kindness," not "murder and mania.""
"Old Whivvershack the butler? Perhaps, but his death was not near. He died in the airport of BMS' country Deathpier!"
"If you want to look, that's fine. Please let me know what you fin...d."
Very good kitty"...oh."
Embarrassed by his own unintentional racism, Kafka slinks off with his tail literally between his legs.
Edited by DubhKafkaesque on Jul 4th 2020 at 2:55:45 PM
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!"I can't believe you Kafka. You get mad when people are racist towards you because you're a fox, but you do the same thing to this poor old lady!" As she says this, Knife begins looking though Mr. E's stuff. She finds an old, fancy revolver, a journal, and a bottle of abstinthe.
"On another note, I found this journal! Maybe it's got clues on who would want to kill this guy. Also, I found absinthe. Who wants some?"
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised."So, uh, Mrs. E," says Custard, "what's with the pipe organ music?"
Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside(Robin and Maurice dance merrily to the organ music.)
"I don't know, but it's catchy!"
"Aw, come on, y'all. We're trying to help a lady with her husband's murder here!"
"Fuck's sake Arimo. She's grieving." Knife pours a glass of absinthe and gives it to Mrs. E. "Here you go, ma'am. Sorry about that." She then walks over to Arimo and whispers, "Besides, dumbass, she's the rich one in the relationship. If anyone should be going through spouses, it's her fucking. Dead. Husband."
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.Noticing the music, Kafka wanders off through the mansion, intent on finding its source.
Is it because he believes this ghostly pipe organ could be a major clue as to the origin of these terrible events? Nah, he just wants to tell the organist to play better tunes, dammit.
Hail majestic corporate light, heaven born and ever bright!"Maybe the organist is a murderer? Hey Mrs. E, was the organist playing around the time of the murder?"
Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside

"Yes, please walk us through every single thing you were doing this morning."
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster