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Epic Failure Game

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StarAndroidJaguar ... from a place where you dream you'd never find Since: Feb, 2017 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
...
#52: Mar 25th 2017 at 12:40:25 PM

You get banned by the mods for the resulting paradox.

I try to fix a machine.

...
Jaxfirebus Since: Feb, 2014
#53: Mar 25th 2017 at 12:59:23 PM

You get fatally electrocuted.

I try to watch Television

CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#54: Mar 25th 2017 at 2:06:38 PM

It works...so well that your neighbors find you on your Laz-E Boy chair two weeks later, what's left of your eyes still trained on the TV. They also find a fully stocked kitchen right behind you.

I try to find buried treasure at the beach.

edited 25th Mar '17 2:08:27 PM by CenturyEye

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
anza_sb Since: May, 2014 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
#55: Mar 25th 2017 at 5:11:20 PM

You end up digging in the beach so much that the coast erodes away. Great job.

I quack.

⏰ Twitter/Instagram/Bluesky: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah. ⏰
vjoi The first Stealth Fighter! from The South. Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Mu
The first Stealth Fighter!
#56: Mar 25th 2017 at 5:51:33 PM

is your attempt to quack you somehow meow instead.

I study and learn real magic.

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
AmourMitts Since: Jan, 2016
#57: Mar 25th 2017 at 7:27:39 PM

You accidentally put a curse on yourself.

I use precognition as a contestant on The Price Is Right.

aNinjaWithAIDS The Spirit Mage with Inifnite Power from The Kingdom of Eltona Since: Dec, 2011 Relationship Status: Cast away
The Spirit Mage with Inifnite Power
#58: Mar 26th 2017 at 12:54:36 AM

The only thing you forsee is another contestant's Double Showcase win at the end of the show.

I make a Rube Goldberg Device operated by dominoes and marbles.

edited 26th Mar '17 12:54:45 AM by aNinjaWithAIDS

Heal the Cutie, then point the Laser-Guided Karma and Disaster Dominoes towards the Asshole Victim that had wronged her. I love this plot line!
StarAndroidJaguar ... from a place where you dream you'd never find Since: Feb, 2017 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
anza_sb Since: May, 2014 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
#60: Mar 26th 2017 at 4:34:28 PM

You end up being the sub instead.

...what do you mean, "not that kind of dominating"?


I try to fail.

[up] NOOOOOOO!!!

edited 27th Mar '17 4:36:34 AM by anza_sb

⏰ Twitter/Instagram/Bluesky: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah. ⏰
aNinjaWithAIDS The Spirit Mage with Inifnite Power from The Kingdom of Eltona Since: Dec, 2011 Relationship Status: Cast away
The Spirit Mage with Inifnite Power
#61: Mar 26th 2017 at 6:50:25 PM

Your attempt at failure is such a failure, it creates a Reality-Breaking Paradox onto yourself that Retgones you.

I try to clean my room.

Heal the Cutie, then point the Laser-Guided Karma and Disaster Dominoes towards the Asshole Victim that had wronged her. I love this plot line!
CyberController Blitzy.... from Pride Ring Since: Nov, 2016 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
Blitzy....
#62: Mar 26th 2017 at 7:12:31 PM

You end up throwing away all your possessions, except for the trash.

I try to cut my hair.

Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
TroperNo9001 Dragon in Waiting from the Dollhouse (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: I turn to stone when you are gone
Dragon in Waiting
#63: Mar 26th 2017 at 7:53:16 PM

All of your hair falls out from just one careless snip. Time to get a wig, or some hair growth potion or something.

I try to get out of bed.

Still waiting for someone to break him free...
vjoi The first Stealth Fighter! from The South. Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Mu
The first Stealth Fighter!
#64: Mar 26th 2017 at 9:05:20 PM

you get eaten after realizing that most children claim to have a monster under there for a reason.

I try to rob a bank.

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
anza_sb Since: May, 2014 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
#65: Mar 26th 2017 at 11:37:59 PM

You ended up only stealing 1 cent. And you're still sentenced in jail for attempted robbery.

I try to stop procrastinating and finish my task at hand!

⏰ Twitter/Instagram/Bluesky: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah. ⏰
TheSilverShroud Underworld Angel from a tower of golems Since: Mar, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Underworld Angel
#66: Mar 26th 2017 at 11:39:26 PM

You finish the task but it ends up being sub-par.

I try to summon a demon

In my medical opinion the HEAVY IS DEAD!
kouta Everything's gonna happy! from the details Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
Everything's gonna happy!
#67: Mar 27th 2017 at 3:26:02 AM

Congratulations! You summoned, but failed to bind, Ligier and he's not happy with you.

I fillibuster the US Senate for four straight days.

I am a proper young lady who does not bite her father at the dinner table. My relaxing music playlist.
Jaxfirebus Since: Feb, 2014
#68: Mar 27th 2017 at 10:36:48 PM

They scream 'Get on with it' and kick you out, you tumble down all the steps and break your neck.

I try to use paradoxes against a rouge AI

StarAndroidJaguar ... from a place where you dream you'd never find Since: Feb, 2017 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
...
#69: Mar 28th 2017 at 2:32:23 AM

The AI in question: Ummm... TRUE. I'll go TRUE.

I try to make the entire internet SFW.

...
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#70: Mar 28th 2017 at 3:29:14 AM

The internet blinks out after losing its purpose, instantly annihilating combined trillions of hours of work and countless bits of knowledge. The resulting backlash instantly knocks humanity back to the stone age. And cave dwellers still draw NSFW stick figures on the cave walls.

I try a case in court.

edited 28th Mar '17 3:30:18 AM by CenturyEye

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
anza_sb Since: May, 2014 Relationship Status: I'm Clockwork and she's Quartz
#71: Mar 28th 2017 at 3:35:45 AM

You tried the case. It's rather hard to chew on, but you managed to do it anyway. It tasted like leather and important papers. You are charged for damage of personal property.

I try to make noodles.

⏰ Twitter/Instagram/Bluesky: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah. ⏰
kouta Everything's gonna happy! from the details Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
Everything's gonna happy!
#72: Mar 31st 2017 at 6:50:06 PM

You attempt to use a broken coffee maker to make the boiled water. It catches on fire.

I attempt to esacpe a fluorine-metal fire without running shoes.

edited 31st Mar '17 6:51:20 PM by kouta

I am a proper young lady who does not bite her father at the dinner table. My relaxing music playlist.
StarAndroidJaguar ... from a place where you dream you'd never find Since: Feb, 2017 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
...
#73: Apr 1st 2017 at 1:42:38 PM

You die as soon as it occurs, owing to Stuff Blowing Up and Deadly Gas.

I try to tame a supernatural animal.

...
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#74: Apr 1st 2017 at 2:05:02 PM

It works. It fetches, sits, and gets you the newspaper. Unfortunately, its here because you're a participant in a supernatural tournament—no they didn't ask you—and all that time you spent taming was supposed to be for training a ferocious competitor.
No, you're not an Ordinary High-School Student. Your that blissfully unaware participant, with no plot armor, who is promptly eaten roughly 1.4 picoseconds after walking out your front door on what looks like a normal day. Your supernatural animal is swallowed whole soon after by another (much bigger) supernatural animal.

I try to chase down a single wounded fighter with a hundred soldiers backing me up.

edited 1st Apr '17 2:06:06 PM by CenturyEye

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
BearyScary Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: You spin me right round, baby
#75: Apr 2nd 2017 at 1:59:12 AM

You mistakenly pick up an enemy soldier and bring him back. No one knows what to do with him now.

I tried to catch up on You Tube videos.

Do not obey in advance.

Total posts: 367
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