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You strangle yourself.
I take a shortcut while driving somewhere.
Shortcuts Make Long Delays. Good luck finding your way out.
I try to make new friends.
You're accepted into the Manson Family. I try to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Enjoy your Peanut butter and Jellyfish Sandwich. It's deliciously poisonous!
I try to sleep.
You develop a bad case of insomnia.
I walk down Bad Guy Street.
You drop your wallet and a stout man with the Face of a Thug returns it to you with a polite bow. You still have it out when you return home, but it's labelled with the wrong football team. So, your roommates then beat you up and burn the wallet. I try to mow the lawn.
Turns out that the lawnmower you're using is actually a Transformer (and additionally a Decepticon) with a lawnmower as its alt mode. Then, it proceeds to somehow go on a rampage in the area/city/town you're living in. Oh, and the government somehow gets involved with this.
I'm trying to eat chocolate bread spread.
The Chocolate Guy appears to murder you.
I try to use cheats on Roblox.
You instead try to use those while playing Nethack and are instantly bitchslapped.
I try cheating a toll both.
The toll bar comes down and cuts your car in half. I try to dance with a lady (that i know of course!).
edited 22nd Mar '17 3:26:56 PM by CenturyEye
Unfortunately, you haven't taken dance lessons, so you trip right at the moment you start dancing with her.
I wager 50 cents in "Final Jeopardy!"
You lose so badly that you have to pay them 7 trillion dollars.
I try to meme.
I try to draw something.
You end up recreating one of Caliborn's early attempts at artwork. That is, to say, a bunch of incomprehensible scribbles.
I try to walk down a set of stairs.
You go down the stairs with perfect poise and grace. Then you slip on a rug in the next room and touch a metal doorknob to stop your fall. The static shock is slight but just enough to trigger a dormant heart condition. The authorities cannot figure out what happened and arrest your spouse for your murder. I try to research and finish a report early.
You end up getting an F— because you rushed it.
I try to watch youtube videoes about cute cats.
They turn out to be Jump Scares.
I try to make tuna salad.
Your "salad" is a severed tuna head covered with lettuce leaves on a bowl. And lots of mayonnaise.
I try to play a game.
You just lost it.
I try to build a new invention.
You are sued because you built an invention that was just patented the day before.
You end up losing the lawsuit.
I go trick or treating.
You're to old for that, its in the middle of the day, you get no candy, and your costume sucks
I play magic the gathering.
You're on the business end of a Curb-Stomp Battle.
I try to Post 217.
Your post is number 47.
I bullshit Congress.
That ... might actually be an improvement.
edited 27th Mar '17 3:20:12 AM by kouta
They take your ideas and pass it as the law of the land. I try to change a tire.
You replace it with a cardboard box.
I try to imitate Team Skull's poses.
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