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Immortalartisan AI with access to the console from The fire Since: Mar, 2020 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
AI with access to the console
#351: Oct 25th 2020 at 12:37:18 AM

It landed on its side.

I attempt to combat a virus

Passive Cooling systems : failed Active liquid cooling systems : failed Status : Overheating
MadameButterflyKnife Semain Calm from the Holocene Since: Mar, 2019 Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Semain Calm
#352: Oct 25th 2020 at 7:16:05 AM

In your attempts to combat a virus, you destroy the facility so hard that it needs to be reset, cause a flood of chicken and gravy, kick the warehouse door so hard it collapses, eat a couple of rats, fail to eat a dijinn's heart, give a kid an identiy crisis, and ultimately scumb to the virus.


I go on a keto diet.

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
KungFuCutBug sick down from the bones to the other side from a broken freezer in Hell Since: Feb, 2019 Relationship Status: They're my lobster
sick down from the bones to the other side
#353: Oct 25th 2020 at 8:15:18 AM
Miss_Desperado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA from somewhere getting rained on by Puget Sound Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
#354: Feb 6th 2021 at 11:06:55 PM

You want to arrive at your new job promptly on time at 9 AM, so you plug your smartphone in to charge, set your smartphone alarm for what you think is 8 AM and go to bed promptly at 6 PM. You're startled awake at 8:00 PM by your alarm — you mixed up AM and PM. You reset your alarm, making sure it's 8 AM and not PM this time, and drink a glass of warm milk. You wait impatiently to fall asleep again, then get frustrated and drink a Gigantic Gulp of warm milk. The warm milk sends you into a sleep so sound, you don't wake up in time to get to the bathroom. When you wake up at midnight, you're so groggy you think it's a good idea to do laundry right then and there instead of quickly changing the sheets and waiting until you have time after work to do laundry. You're also so groggy, you fail to notice that you've put too much soap in the washing machine. You fall asleep, but soon wake up again to find your house flooded with suds. You think you're dreaming, so you skip around the house giggling and popping bubbles all throughout the rest of the night. And then you're mesmerized by the pretty sunrise light shining through all the bubbles that are still left. Shortly afterwards, you collapse and fall asleep again. At 8 AM, your alarm fails to go off because your smartphone short-circuited in all the suds. At 9 AM, your new boss notices you haven't shown up and tries to call you, but of course he can't reach you because your phone died. You end up sleeping through most of your first day of work. When you finally wake up, you're still just groggy enough to where you Failed a Spot Check, not noticing the soggy surroundings or the fact that your smartphone is dead, or that what you think is the sunrise is actually the sunset. You drive to work, walk in the door whistling, and say "I'm here, bright and early! Where do I start?" Your boss is so infuriated, he doesn't even demand an explanation before stapling your pink slip directly to your forehead.

I try to play Among Us.

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.
Immortalartisan AI with access to the console from The fire Since: Mar, 2020 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
AI with access to the console
#355: Feb 6th 2021 at 11:20:23 PM

For some reason every game you join has every other player agreeing that because your red your sus and you die never finding out what happens after the first vote.

I attempt to build a house in Minecraft

Passive Cooling systems : failed Active liquid cooling systems : failed Status : Overheating
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#356: Feb 7th 2021 at 12:20:27 AM

A house? IT BARELY EVEN RESEMBLES ANY SORT OF COHERENT STRUCTURE!!

I try to scream.

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
TheGeekArtist08 Hello? Hello, hello? from Hurricane, Utah (no not really) Since: Feb, 2020 Relationship Status: Married to the job
Hello? Hello, hello?
#357: Feb 7th 2021 at 12:24:32 AM

You ended up ripping your voice box out.

Oof.


I try to hug my cat plushie.

artsy geek | any pronouns | "well, if you're hearing this, then chances are you've made a very poor career choice."
NineTailedCat Toss a pearl to your Watcher from bad to worse (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Toss a pearl to your Watcher
#358: Feb 7th 2021 at 12:26:11 AM

Terror takes the sound before you make it.

You squeeze it too hard and rip its head off, causing stuffing to fly everywhere.

I try to read a newspaper.

Edited by NineTailedCat on Feb 7th 2021 at 12:26:54 PM

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
MatthewLMayfield from wherever he damn well pleases (Captain) Relationship Status: I wanna know what love is
#359: Feb 7th 2021 at 4:13:54 AM

It all somehow flies apart to pieces the moment you unfold and open it up.

I sit on a recliner.

SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#360: Feb 7th 2021 at 5:10:50 AM

The thing suddenly folds and collapses upon you, and...shit. You're stuck in the recliner and can't die.

I get myself possessed by an artificial intelligence.

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
idkwhatiamdoingatp What's your function? from Hooking up the country helping business rise (Series 1) Relationship Status: I'm in love with my car
What's your function?
#361: Dec 24th 2024 at 6:20:14 AM

But wait, that AI isn't equipped to possess humans like you!


I try resuscitating this thread.

WHO PUT A DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE ON THE ROAD!?
Bk-notburgerking Since: Jan, 2015
#362: Dec 24th 2024 at 7:43:36 AM

You get forum-suspended for necromancy.

I try to write a fanfic.

FireArrowEightSeventy The murderer. 🗾🇯🇵 from John Gutter Since: Apr, 2024 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
The murderer. 🗾🇯🇵
#363: Dec 24th 2024 at 7:46:11 AM

It ends up being like My Immortal, causing an angry mob to run to your house, killing everyone in their path, and then you die.

I try to code a “Hello World” program.

Character in Avatar: Shouki Naifunage, OC. She has killed at least 99 people. I'm a man. NEW ADDITION TO AVATAR: COUNTRY FLAGS
cornyfield256 about to kidnap from Yoshi's Island Since: Dec, 2022 Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
about to kidnap
#364: Dec 24th 2024 at 7:52:48 AM

Only for it to say "You Suck."

I try to build a PC.

Hot take: I actually like Yoshi's New Island and it's soundtrack.
Sammael29 Since: Aug, 2018
#365: Dec 24th 2024 at 8:05:27 AM

You somehow get your hands cut off in between the gears in the keyboard.

I try to deliver furniture to Natalya Neidhart.

CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#366: Dec 24th 2024 at 7:00:55 PM

You're delivering the goods to a tables, ladders, and chairs match. And it goes great! You set it up perfectly. They're right in position for Natalya to hurl Bazler through a table and get the win. She thanks you and leaves. You alone. With an angry Shayna Baszler. The referee isn't looking either, and no music plays on the titantron. No one is coming up to save you. She makes it hurt. But your pain entertains the audience.


I try to change a tire.

Edited by CenturyEye on Dec 24th 2024 at 7:01:12 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
TheOther36 What It Sounds Like!Huntrix from Namsan Tower, Seoul Since: Apr, 2022 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
What It Sounds Like!Huntrix
#367: Dec 24th 2024 at 11:13:00 PM

The tire ends up getting a mind of its own and starts a killing spree around town.

I write and compose a song.

When darkness meets the light, this is what it sounds like!
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