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How to reinforce your skills:
How to think: Try and combine words, images and ideas into motion and/or a thought. This process is called thinking. Your body will most likely do all this automatically, and you will probably change your thoughts from time to time. Sometimes, what you think is right could be wrong. in that instance, tell the guy who said you are wrong that you are not wrong and you meant to do that. If you talk without thinking, It makes you an idiot. Continue to make dumb decisions until you end up becoming president.
How to swordfight: Find a sword, swing it.
edited 26th Oct '16 5:19:11 AM by NegaKingKix
How to Swing a Sword: Look up YouTube videos of LARPers flailing their prop swords around and copy them. Uploading a fail video optional.
How to look up Youtube videos: Open Youtube. Do you see the search bar, up there in the page? You can use that to look up videos. Click on the search bar, then type in what do you want to search. Be careful for clickbaits and jumpscares, and don't procrastinate!
Actually, the last part is a lie.
How to procrastinate: I'll write this part later.
How to write something later: Don't write it now. Wait. Then write it.
edited 26th Oct '16 7:49:30 AM by DrNoPuma
How to wait: Just like. Sit there. Until the thing happens. Then you're done. It might take a while, though.
How to wait: People usually wait because they expect something to happen. You too should know what are you waiting for. Once you know, you can expect when will the thing happen. While waiting, you can do something else, like reading a book, playing a video game, or doing a trombone solo with your little one. When the thing you are expecting nearly happens, you might feel a rush (this is sometimes called a "hype"). You should always be patient during these times, otherwise you might give up waiting and/or fall into mindless rage. Rejoice when the thing you are expecting has happened. Remember that some things are not worth waiting for.
How to sit: Find a place to sit, preferably a comfy one. Position your posterior on the place to sit on. Crossing legs optional.
edited 26th Oct '16 8:17:59 AM by anza_sb
How to cross legs: Pick up one leg. Decide on what your desired crossing position is, be it foot-on-knee, thigh-on-thigh, or inner knee-on-outer knee. That last option works best if you are female. Then, put the leg you lifted on top of the other.
A word of warning, please exercise caution when crossing legs, as doing so excessively can cause foot sleepage.
How to exercise caution: Ask yourself, "Is this a stupid idea?" If yes, DON'T DO IT! If no, go on ahead! If yes, and a friend is pressuring you, stick your friend in the middile of a busy highway, and get outta there!
How to ask yourself something: Have Schizophrenia.
How to have: Choose what you want to have. Then, take it. It doesn't matter if it wasn't yours, or if you didn't pay for it. Just take it and run.
How To Run: You must pick up our feet up and down at an accelerated pace in the direction you would like to go. Try not to trip.
How to trip: While running, take notice of something that is in the way, and don't try to avoid it. Alternatively, acquire LSD and use it.
How to acquire LSD: Find a shifty looking guy named Risky, He will have over 100 different illegal substances from "a respected source". Ask him if he has LSD on hand. If he says yes, pay him $100 for it. If you have no money, then you will need to get your hands dirty doing some Very illegal shit. Crack: Not even once.
How to get your hads dirty:
Find a substantial amount of a sticky, powdery or liquid substance (dirt is a valid choice, but you can use many others, be creative!). Then place your hands on said substance and roll them around. Repeat until hands sufficiently dirty.
Alternatively, grab a gun, shoot at random bystanders and loot their corpses. You can bathe your hands in their blood for enhanced dirtyness.
edited 27th Oct '16 2:45:46 AM by pepimanoli
How to grab a gun: First, reach for the gun.
Next, pick it up!
NO, not like that!
Ahem. Gun Safety is an important thing. A thing in another boring page.
Congrats, you're holding a gun!
How to Pick up Something: Open your hand, spread your fingers, and reach for the thing you want to pick up. Let all of your fingers touch the thing, and very carefully lift it from the surface. It's harder than it looks.
How to spread your fingers: Empty your hand of anything that could potentially be dropped, then place your fingers in such a way to where there is no spacing between them, like you're about to attempt a karate chop. Manipulate the muscles in your hand to move one finger away from another. Do this for every other finger, and your fingers should now be spread.
How to attempt a karate chop: Position your fingers so that there are no space between them, like you're about to attempt a karate chop. Swing your hand upwards, then swing it down powerfully. If you're a beginner, it's recommended not to try this on bricks or concrete. Those tricks are done by professionals.
How to Try Bricks or Concrete: Open your mouth, put bricks or concrete, and then close your jaw as forcefully as you can. Immediately schedule an appointment to the dentist.
How to take Karate: Take a karate class.
How to take a class: First, be good at something, but not a pro at it. Next, find a class specialized in your specific talent or thing you want to learn. Next, pay the fee for the class. finally, go to class every day it is open until you mastered it or until you decide that said class is stupid and for losers.
How to pay a fee:
Enter your credit card information along with your shipping and billing address, only to discover that you do not have enough money in your bank account. Wait until you get your next paycheck and deposit it, only to find that you still do not have enough money to pay for the class. It seems you will have to resort to unusual methods.
Acquire a hammer as directed on page 22. Then, head to the nearest pub or inn to find a ragtag group of misfits and/or a team of heroes to join you on your quest. Once you have assembled your party, you must head into the Land of Monsters to slay the creatures there. Of course, the low-level creatures that guard the border don't offer very much money, and if you already have the hammer described on page 22, then you should be more than equipped to handle these without trouble and in fact shouldn't even bother with them.
What you want to do is head deep into the northern mountains, where a very rare monster which looks like an egg resides, deep within a hidden cave. The monster is difficult to find, but the hammer's dwarven magic will lead you in the right direction. Though the mountains and their caverns are filled with high-level, dangerous monsters, the egg is not hard to kill at all. However, the problem, is that if you cannot kill it quickly enough, the monster will run away and you will have to leave the caves and return to reset the encounter.
It will take you several tries, but once you can defeat the egg monster, thousands of gold coins will spill from its entrails, showering you and your party with riches. Once you have gathered all the gold, you are free to depart, and split the money with your party in whatever way they agree on. If you managed your party members wisely, you should be left with enough money to pay for the class.
Deposit the gold into your bank account, and then process the payment. Simple!
Works best if you are female.
How to get your paycheck
Keep working, and hope that your boss is going to give you a raise.
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