Oliver: Bruce, do you know how hard I am trying not to think about this? After what it did to me? It jerked me around like a fucking marionette! I woke up, and I wasn't in control of my actions. Trapped in my own body, only able to watch as I tried to fucking murder Quartz so I could go murder Asagi and break the machine that would be able to save the universe!
The second I even thought of resistance, it just turned my entire existence into pain and then blocked the ability for me to even think of the concept. And it was even easier than it was to just fucking mind control me, man! It was like my mind was an open book and it could just go write in or cross out whatever the fuck it wanted!
I was helpless. I actively wanted to die. I begged Quartz to kill me so I wouldn't fuck anything up, because god forbid it get smart enough to think using my Jump Kit or the Stim overclock was a good idea, because the second it discovered those, that was it. Burn Quartz, get free of him, punch Asagi at highway speed, break the device, and you're all dead and the Mattervore eats everything.
-Oliver stumbles for a few moments, then drops to his knees-
edited 6th Apr '18 10:49:18 PM by SpartyMcFly
"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."Oliver: ...I've thought about it.
But every time I think about that I keep coming up against the question of whether or not I should. I haven't done it before.
Memories define who you are, because experiences define who you are. If I delete an experience, who am I? If I do that, can I trust myself to be the same person I was yesterday? Sure, maybe doing this is healthier for me in the long run - but which me, the me that needs to delete it, or the arguably different "me" that emerges from the other end?
"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."Oliver: Yeah.
I hate living with it. I hate the nightmares. But I can't bring myself to axe it. It's a part of me now, and it's going to be that way until I take a bullet, my blackbox croaks, or I get stuck in heat death.
Time heals all wounds. And I'm a computer. I have a lot of time.
edited 6th Apr '18 10:57:11 PM by SpartyMcFly
"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."Oliver: I said it myself. My method of coping isn't much healthier than yours. Right now I'm hoping it scabs over and goes away, despite the fact I know it won't.
Hurts to think about too much.
But given you're in just as bad straits as I am, I figure I'll make a deal with you. You go see somebody to help you sort this out, and I go do the same thing. If we're lucky nobody suspects anything's up, least of all Momonga, and we get better without anyone realizing where we went.
edited 6th Apr '18 11:12:37 PM by SpartyMcFly
"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."Oliver: ...You know, as much as I want to counterargue that based on the fact she was already completely bugnuts before all this, that's kind of a shitty reason to refuse someone help. "You're too on fire for me to extinguish."
Sounds like a deal, then.
"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."Oliver: Alright, then. I'll just go get some pizza and figure out what to do with it from there. Keep up the alibi from earlier.
Keep the blade sheathed tonight, alright?
"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

Bruce: I'm not talking about the porn, Oliver. I'm talking about my soul not being right anymore.