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SpartyMcFly Military Grade Shitposter from Not where he should be Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER
Military Grade Shitposter
#5926: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:21:05 PM

-The people on TV come across something strange...-



...unfortunately, North Korea has already claimed ownership of the owls, so the Humane Society will not be able to retrieve them.

In tech news, a major leak on Reddit about a new phone soon-to-be-released by a major software company has reached the front page within two hours of its posting and has been there for the past two days. The leak, posted by the user Pear_Juicer, refers to the phone as a "Pear SmartPhone VIII", in Roman numerals, to avoid legal reprisal from the "very powerful corporation" he had obtained details from. To preserve its integrity we will refer to the phone as it is referred to in the leak.

The leak itself is very critical of the phone's performance and capabilities - Pear is apparently setting up a "6G" network, and, according to Pear_Juicer, is "utilizing the ambiguity surrounding the 4G term to set up their own proprietary network in an attempt to drown out the competition". He is similarly negative about some of the other features he has announced, stating that its waterproof coating evaporates in temperatures above 25 degrees Celsius, and that its purported ability to "bend" - taking an internet joke about a previous generation of SmartPhone and making it functional - cannot be used to the extremes it will be advertised in, or it will be broken in half.

He has also stated that while Pear has managed to make the phone extremely thin - as thin as their line of ultralight netbooks - this has resulted in extremely short battery life and very low durability - "the screen cracks when it is dropped from any distance above two feet, even when it lands on its back in a case". He has also stated design engineers are being extremely overworked in an attempt to overcome its shortcomings - something he states is not physically possible.

The leak contains the announcement date of the phone on August 21st, coinciding with the prospective announcement date of the Apple iPhone 8. Apple's legal team has been unavailable for comment...

...LEADS TO ALZHEIMER'S | NEP [down] 90, SNC [up] 90 | SENTIENT MASS OF ADENOVIRUS RAMPAGING THROUGH RIO DE JANEIRO ATHLETES VILLAGE; OLYMPICS "WILL CONTINUE", SAYS ED BALLS | MAN RUNS WITH SCISSORS, TWELVE HOSPITALIZED | AUTHORITIES FAIL TO APPREHEND MISCHIEF-CAUSING MAN IN PINK LYCRA SUIT | MALE ENHANCEMENT PRODUCT "ENGOR=-~/?$HELP_I_AM_TRAPPED_IN_A_NEWS_FACTORY(#&^%XPLOSIVE INJURIES | ELECTRICAL PHYSICIST ARRESTED, STATED TO HAVE RESISTED | STRING OF INDECENCY CHARGES LINKED TO SOLIDARITY WITH SLAIN SIMIAN | LOCAL SPACE MARINE PROMOTED TO MCPO...

edited 14th Aug '16 2:24:41 PM by SpartyMcFly

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."
MrKirb Lights, Camera, Action! from bluh bluh land Since: Apr, 2011 Relationship Status: Healthy, deeply-felt respect for this here Shotgun
Lights, Camera, Action!
#5927: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:21:58 PM

Roy: "Oh yeah, that. Didn't cross my mind there."

Raidouthe21st Cool Dude from Whacking trick-or-treating punks Since: Jun, 2010 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Cool Dude
#5928: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:22:34 PM

Asagi: ...Oh my goodness, I forgot phones were still even a thing. God, I am so out of the loop already. ._.

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)
Bcom Since: Jun, 2014
#5929: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:23:46 PM

"An ultraviolent sport where dwarfs, orcs, ogres, elves, and humans fight for control of a ball while injuring each other and try to survive what ever mother nature feels like throwing at them"

HilarityEnsues Since: Sep, 2009
#5930: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:26:04 PM

Lisa: @Einar: ...That sounds pretty fun, actually.

FokiasTheJester Since: Jul, 2012
#5931: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:27:13 PM

-Eires, that ship clearly looks like it's been cut in two and welded back together. It's a lemon, and a rotten one at that-

Pete: Anyways, moving on... >.>; -keeps on leading the group through the lot, passing by a small star-shaped ship, a yellow gunship with a green cockpit, a huge battleship that looks like someone strapped guns and thrusters on an IJN ship, until...-

Nemtsol Since: Nov, 2013
#5932: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:27:39 PM

@Aura Albert: "Oh. Yeah, I see your point...Wait, does that mean you sleep on your side?"

Will make dad jokes for friends.
Imca (Veteran)
#5933: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:29:14 PM

-They reach what may be the one good ship on the lot-

-A very old looking frigate-

-Big enough to hold all of you, and while it is clearly aging it shows..... no...... obvious issues-

-Its not triggering any radiation warnngs, no split spine, just.... old-


Aura: no... I sleep on my tummy, the issue is more shedding. >.<

-Listens to the tv and pins her ears-

Wow...

edited 14th Aug '16 2:30:34 PM by Imca

Raidouthe21st Cool Dude from Whacking trick-or-treating punks Since: Jun, 2010 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Cool Dude
#5934: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:30:32 PM

Omar: And what is this one?

-Points to the old looking frigate-


Asagi: They play that sport in Hell.

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)
LeChuck4 Since: Feb, 2010
#5935: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:30:36 PM

Turax: "You had me at "ultraviolent sport"." evil grin

"Please, elaborate further."

(@Asagi)Turax: "And another reason to go there!"

edited 14th Aug '16 2:31:03 PM by LeChuck4

SpartyMcFly Military Grade Shitposter from Not where he should be Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER
Military Grade Shitposter
#5936: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:32:24 PM

-So Naomi goes into the library-

-Surprisingly, it doesn't just have computers... it also has books :o-


Six: -whistles at the frigate-

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#5937: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:34:10 PM

Eires @Six: "You can say that again."

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
MrKirb Lights, Camera, Action! from bluh bluh land Since: Apr, 2011 Relationship Status: Healthy, deeply-felt respect for this here Shotgun
Lights, Camera, Action!
#5938: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:34:45 PM

Roy: "Phones are still a thing? That stuff are antiques to me."

SpartyMcFly Military Grade Shitposter from Not where he should be Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER
Military Grade Shitposter
#5939: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:34:56 PM

Six: Never said anything.

edited 14th Aug '16 2:35:05 PM by SpartyMcFly

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."
FokiasTheJester Since: Jul, 2012
#5940: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:35:27 PM

Quartz: Is big surprised


Pete: Ah, yes, the Expedition! Military surplus, not many miles on the clock, relatively speaking, of course... A bit outdated, but still plenty serviceable! It uses an older code, but it checks out, as we say in the business, heheh... -chuckles awkwardly-

Bcom Since: Jun, 2014
#5941: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:35:31 PM

"Yes, though first we need to see if this broadcaster recieves it"

Imca (Veteran)
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#5943: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:36:37 PM

Eires laughs for what might be the first time in a long while.

Eires @Six: "You said enough!"

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
LeChuck4 Since: Feb, 2010
#5944: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:37:15 PM

Turax: ~hands the remote to Einar~

"Well, find out."

SpartyMcFly Military Grade Shitposter from Not where he should be Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER
Military Grade Shitposter
#5945: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:37:22 PM

Six: Stop projecting onto me.

edited 14th Aug '16 2:41:17 PM by SpartyMcFly

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#5946: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:40:14 PM

Eires @Six: "I'd not dream of it!"

Her tone switches from a light banter between comrades to a serious buyer looking for what she needs.

@Pete: "Don't hold out on us. Give us the rundown."

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
FokiasTheJester Since: Jul, 2012
#5947: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:40:38 PM

Pete: Hm, well, about, say... Ten million credits? Depends on how you'd buy it grin

edited 14th Aug '16 2:42:28 PM by FokiasTheJester

Imca (Veteran)
#5948: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:43:21 PM

Nova: .... We would still have 1 million left over.

-Looks to the others-

Raidouthe21st Cool Dude from Whacking trick-or-treating punks Since: Jun, 2010 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Cool Dude
#5949: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:43:43 PM

Omar: I argue it's worth 80% of that price. And that would be after an inspection to ensure it's as he says.

edited 14th Aug '16 2:44:09 PM by Raidouthe21st

We Are Our Avatars Forever (Now on Discord by invitation, PM)
SpartyMcFly Military Grade Shitposter from Not where he should be Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER
Military Grade Shitposter
#5950: Aug 14th 2016 at 2:44:35 PM

Six: Omar has a point. I've got my reasons, but I wanna see what this thing's like on the inside.

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

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