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hamza678 Red Like Santa from Christmas Beacon.
Red Like Santa
Aug 9th 2016 at 7:28:39 AM

Only to the assholes who misuse it!

I wish I was being stalked by a yandere.

Now known as Cyber Controller
Wixelt Singularity of Self Delusion from right behind you... Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Singularity of Self Delusion
Aug 9th 2016 at 5:36:16 PM

Granted. But they are arrested before they even come close to killing anyone, as hiding major psychological issues isn't really that easy in real life.

I wish to have all my wishes granted by the most jackass genie to ever exist.

Crane your neck and you shall see, the outside of reality.
MightyG The underwater man. from Underwater Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The underwater man.
Aug 9th 2016 at 8:56:55 PM

Granted, but its all a Secret Test of Character, and he starts being nice after a while.

I wish my house burned down.

edited 9th Aug '16 8:57:26 PM by MightyG

Hide your longboats!
hamza678 Red Like Santa from Christmas Beacon.
Red Like Santa
Aug 9th 2016 at 9:15:59 PM

Granted, but someone already bought you a new house, and you have insurance on your house.

I wish that Michael Bay would make adaptations of my favorite shows at his current levels of quality.

edited 10th Aug '16 5:47:28 PM by hamza678

Now known as Cyber Controller
hamza678 Red Like Santa from Christmas Beacon.
Red Like Santa
lewattoo Enfant Fatalle from Planet Auguste Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Enfant Fatalle
Aug 11th 2016 at 6:21:43 AM

Granted. They're so Michael Bay-like in their sheer audacity that they pass the point of abject mediocrity and loop back around to being likeable.

I wish I had a really bad meal today.

Little girl have stolen precious hourglasses. Mafia have three days to solve case. Oh Where In Time Is Hat Kid?
The_Dag Protect the Cinammon Bun from bad to worse Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
Protect the Cinammon Bun
Aug 12th 2016 at 8:03:17 AM

Granted, you get a better one shortly after.

I wish Abrahamic religion members would be even more refusing of criticism of their religion than they are now.

edited 12th Aug '16 8:03:33 AM by The_Dag

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
TheFarmboy Ka-BOOM! from the comfort of my own home. Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Ka-BOOM!
Aug 12th 2016 at 9:51:59 AM

Granted, it's just that the criticism aimed to them is now mere nitpicking that is hard to take seriously.

I wish my legs were broken.

edited 12th Aug '16 9:59:43 AM by TheFarmboy

"Go to Hell! And tell the Devil, I'm coming for him next!"
ZeroL *Vague plotting intensifies* from a dimension with 700 too many of me Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
*Vague plotting intensifies*
Aug 12th 2016 at 9:58:50 AM

You become Professor X.

I wish that everyone would lose their memory of tv tropes.

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
BlizzardeyeWonder Champion of Io! from The graveyard Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Champion of Io!
ZeroL *Vague plotting intensifies* from a dimension with 700 too many of me Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
*Vague plotting intensifies*
Aug 13th 2016 at 9:42:35 PM

It motivates you to figure out how to kill it

I wish the next post would say, "everybody dies, and I wish the next post would be identical to this one" and would never be edited and would not be part of a double post

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
lewattoo Enfant Fatalle from Planet Auguste Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Enfant Fatalle
Aug 13th 2016 at 10:33:29 PM

But the genie was wearing earplugs and misheard your wish. Everybody lives, the post can be edited, and it is not identical.

I wish I was an immobile puddle of goo.

edited 13th Aug '16 10:38:53 PM by lewattoo

Little girl have stolen precious hourglasses. Mafia have three days to solve case. Oh Where In Time Is Hat Kid?
BaconZorp see you, space cowboy. from general dysphoria Relationship Status: Consider his love an honor
see you, space cowboy.
Aug 13th 2016 at 10:39:00 PM

You are now a shape-shifter! A shape-shifter made goo, yeah, but HEEEY!

I wish I was a tree.

edited 13th Aug '16 10:40:08 PM by BaconZorp

Long live the New Bev.
ZeroL *Vague plotting intensifies* from a dimension with 700 too many of me Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
*Vague plotting intensifies*
Aug 14th 2016 at 3:55:30 PM

You're an Ent.

I wish the worst thing that could possibly happen would happen.

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
aNinjaWithAIDS Her softness must be rated 9999 as well. from Royal Gyrdorea Adventurers' Academy Relationship Status: Hooked on a feeling
Her softness must be rated 9999 as well.
Aug 16th 2016 at 1:10:18 AM

Granted! It happens to a hostile alien species that was committed to invade us.

I wish to have brain damage.

I'll just put on some mood music for these two and their little moment here.
MightyG The underwater man. from Underwater Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The underwater man.
Aug 16th 2016 at 2:05:22 AM

Granted. Shortly afterwards, a groundbreaking treatment is discovered that allows you to recover to better than you were before.

I wish every door I ever came across for the rest of my life was locked.

Hide your longboats!
hamza678 Red Like Santa from Christmas Beacon.
Red Like Santa
Aug 17th 2016 at 6:07:34 PM

Yes, but you're now able to turn intangible like Kitty Pryde.

I wish that Konami had rights to all my favorite game franchises.

Now known as Cyber Controller
The_Dag Protect the Cinammon Bun from bad to worse Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
Protect the Cinammon Bun
Aug 18th 2016 at 9:03:40 AM

Granted, they sell them to other good companies.

I wish ISIS had a nuke.

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
MightyG The underwater man. from Underwater Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The underwater man.
Aug 22nd 2016 at 3:42:06 PM

Granted. But they fall the very next day, and never have the chance to use it.

I wish my feet were superglued to the ground.

Hide your longboats!
hamza678 Red Like Santa from Christmas Beacon.
Red Like Santa
Sep 10th 2016 at 2:54:49 PM

Thankfully, it's only bad imitation superglue, and you get free.

I wish that I was forced to watch Adam Sandler movies on infinite repeat.

Now known as Cyber Controller
The_Dag Protect the Cinammon Bun from bad to worse Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
Protect the Cinammon Bun
Sep 10th 2016 at 3:11:39 PM

Granted, you realise they're actually pretty good movies.

I wish to I had worms in my digestive system.

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
TheGreatUnknown He/Him | She/Her from Kittering Castle Relationship Status: Non-Canon
He/Him | She/Her
Sep 10th 2016 at 3:30:09 PM

Granted. They convert your waste into valuable substances without harming you.

I wish the ice caps melted completely right now.

Squeaky Writer
aNinjaWithAIDS Her softness must be rated 9999 as well. from Royal Gyrdorea Adventurers' Academy Relationship Status: Hooked on a feeling
Her softness must be rated 9999 as well.
Sep 10th 2016 at 6:16:06 PM

Granted! This quickly makes humanity in general embrace the Green Aesop. They now focus their technology into not only reforming the ice caps, but also confronting pollution problems and accelerating Earth's natural regeneration of its ozone layer.

I wish to be stuck doing yard work for the rest of my life.

I'll just put on some mood music for these two and their little moment here.
MightyG The underwater man. from Underwater Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The underwater man.
Sep 10th 2016 at 8:43:26 PM

Granted, but you end up doing something very important and have a feature-length film made about you.

I wish that I lived in a Wretched Hive.

Hide your longboats!
MightyG The underwater man. from Underwater Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The underwater man.
Nov 8th 2016 at 2:28:45 PM

Bump

Hide your longboats!

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