Fix a wish!

This is kind of the same as the corrupt a wish game except inverted! The rules are that someone has to make a bad wish, then the next poster has to twist it to make it better.

I'll start because my thread:

I wish for Steam summer sale would end before I get a chance to buy anything in it.

Granted, but you get gifted all of the games you considered buying because someone felt sorry for you.

I wish to explode violently.

You do so, however it makes the most beautiful fireworks display ever.

I wish I were an Oscar Myer Wiener...

Granted, you are unbelievably delicious.

I wish for a jet to crash into my house.

It's the Blackbird. The next day Professor X sends you a million dollar check to cover the damage and then some.

I wish my current phone would spontaneously combust.

It combusts into glitter that gives you good luck.The next day you buy a lottery ticket a win $100,000. I wish Kylo Ren was dead.

FYI, you can do line breaks either by putting \\ on the end of a line, or, more commonly, making an empty line in between the last line and the next.

Granted. His death makes the First Order stronger than the Empire could ever hope to be.

I wish my favorite upcoming video game was cancelled.

edited 13th Jul '16 8:47:38 AM by lewattoo

Granted, now Han Solo is back from the dead.

Granted, but the last game you wanted that was cancelled is uncancelled.

I wish there are no weekends.

edited 13th Jul '16 8:48:51 AM by TheFarmboy

Granted, there is no more school and work.

I wish that while watching a youtube video, the youtuber jumps out of the screen and punches me in the face.

Granted, the video was "How I make people happy by punching them".

I wish protons had a half life of 32 hours.

Bump.

Granted, But instead, you fully understand Protons.

I wish my favorite game character would come out of the game to kill me.

Granted, but they dont really want to kill you and are really apologetic, and crack open a potion of resurrection as soon as no-one's looking.

I wish to be kidnapped whilst playing Pokemon GO.

Granted. You are kidnapped by a group of fellow Go players, and when they find out you like Go too, they give you some handy hints and send you on your way.

I wish for a slow computer.

Granted. It takes a full minute minimum to load anything and an hour to install programs, but it's completely immune to malware while compatible with any legit program.

I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish...

edited 18th Jul '16 7:53:15 PM by dvorak

The fish is instead killed by lightning from heaven, meaning its dead without you feeling guilty.

I wish I stepped on a box of push pins.

You get worker's compensation tenfold.

I wish for Trump to be president!

Granted, congress is full of Democrats who block any stupid shit he tries to do.

I wish anime was illegal.

Granted. Western cartoons are finally recognized as not just being for kids.

I wish for a Zombie Apocalypse.

The zombies are friendly, and turn society into a utopia.

I wish to be shot in the face.

Granted, you were really hot and received a shot of cooling [clean] water to your face.

I wish for Attack On Titan chapter 84 to feature all the protagonists having a big orgy.

Thankfully, there is a Sexy Discretion Shot.

I wish 4kids dubbed all my favourite anime.

Granted, but then the dub gets handed to another company halfway through.

I wish I never rolled a 20 again.

Granted, all the dice you use are D4-10s, so you neither can or need to roll a 20.

I wish to be injected with the Titan serum.

You were vaccinated beforehand.

I wish that Pinecest was Canon.