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ThriceCharming Where's the beef? from Texas Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Where's the beef?
Jun 30th 2017 at 4:45:06 PM

[up][up][up][up] Really? I remember Curse of the Black Pearl being immensely popular when it premiered in 2003. I still think it's pretty good, personally.

Come to think of it, At World's End is the only one of the Pirates movies that doesn't really do it for me.

Check out The Ultimate Reprise, an Ōban Star-Racers podcast by me and my friends!
Gaon Smoking Snake from Grim Up North Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Jun 30th 2017 at 4:49:58 PM

I like all three first pirates of the caribbean films to different extents. That's why I made the comparison. They are solid films. But they don't deserve to be put on a pedestal as anything particularly brilliant.

Which I feel is the same for Jumanji and Ghostbusters. Solid, fun flicks. To borrow a film from the same decade Ghosbuters came out, it's not exactly Airplane! in terms of comedic genius.

"Cobras Fumantes eterna é sua vitória!"
Nikkolas from Texas Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Jun 30th 2017 at 4:52:28 PM

Good music and good casts, at least. I will always love Davy Jones.

ThriceCharming Where's the beef? from Texas Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Where's the beef?
Jun 30th 2017 at 5:02:53 PM

[up][up] It may be that the action/adventure genre has fallen out of style, but while "brilliant" may be a bit too much, I do think the first Pirates is really, really good.

You know what's better, though? Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I can't believe that thing didn't make more of a splash. I'd call that brilliant.

Check out The Ultimate Reprise, an Ōban Star-Racers podcast by me and my friends!
GethKnight from St.Charles, Missouri Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Jun 30th 2017 at 7:10:31 PM

Too much Jude Law that year. And Angelina Jolei being given top billing for only fifteen minutes of screen time, I think.

Demetrios Makes Everything 20% Cooler from Wheeling, Illinois Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
Makes Everything 20% Cooler
Jun 30th 2017 at 8:48:41 PM

More like Sky Captain and the World of Yesterday. ;P

Wishing I was where the sunlight is: Florida or South Africa
TobiasDrake Exposition Dragon from Colorado, USA Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Jun 30th 2017 at 10:09:03 PM

See, here's the thing. It doesn't really matter if Jumanji is a timeless classic or just a fun flick from the 90's. You don't have to be Citizen Kane to be disrespected by a shitty follow-up.

You might not care about Jumanji that much. Hell, I don't really care about Jumanji that much. It's a fun 90's movie; nobody's saying it's the Star Wars of action comedies or something. But you know who should care about Jumanji? The people making a sequel to it.

Now, me, I like sequels. I like reboots. I like franchising. The fact that we live in a world where any movie you love is probably going to have fifteen films made in the next decade makes me very happy. I like getting new content. Sue me.

But just because the concept of sequels isn't bad doesn't mean there isn't such a thing as a bad sequel, and one of the easiest ways to identify one is a complete lack or respect for what made the original work.

Drake's Razor: Never attribute to cold unfeeling logic that which can be equally explained by emotional outburst.
Worlder What?
What?
Jul 1st 2017 at 7:02:06 PM

Saw the trailer and I was not impressed.

IMO it would be better if Jumanji was somehow transformed into an RPG rulebook.

A rulebook that is only one of many others with each containing a distinct setting.

unknowing from somewhere..
Jul 1st 2017 at 8:38:50 PM

Just a thing here: I saw the cartoon a lot and the reason it work was two things: first ti manage to to the thing Tobias complain and make the jungle WORK, how? by making weird like, REAAAAAAAAALLY weird, we never saw the jungle in movie just some things here and there so it managet to work.

but here...yeah im with tobias again, it look like original concept but with Jumanji name slap on it.

"My Name is Bolt, Bolt Crank and I dont care if you believe or not"
Coujagkin <chirps obnoxiousy> from The Nest Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
<chirps obnoxiousy>
Jul 2nd 2017 at 2:36:00 PM

Saw the trailer, and I think the Fisher Kingdom idea seems cool. Don't get me wrong, it's a trope for a reason, but I haven't seen it in a whole lot of movies lately. When I first saw it I was also thinking, "Wait, isn't that the plot of The Breakfast Club?" Turns out I'm not the only one.

edited 2nd Jul '17 2:36:47 PM by Coujagkin

ThriceCharming Where's the beef? from Texas Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Where's the beef?
Jul 3rd 2017 at 8:52:04 PM

[up][up][up][up] But I don't think the sequel looks bad. I think it looks fine. I don't even know what people think is so egregious. Is it Jack Black? Kevin Hart? I mean, we like Dwayne Johnson, don't we? I'll grant you that the trailer doesn't look amazing, but people are reacting like it's Jack and Jill, and I think that's a little overblown.

I also don't think it's necessary for a sequel to "respect" the original. That sounds creatively stifling to me. If you want an example of a sequel that seems to feel nothing but resentment for the original and yet is extremely inspired, I refer you to Gremlins 2.

(It better not turn out that people hate Gremlins 2. I think it beats the original by a mile.)

Check out The Ultimate Reprise, an Ōban Star-Racers podcast by me and my friends!
AdricDePsycho Rock on, Gold Dust Woman from Never Going Back Again Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Rock on, Gold Dust Woman
Jul 3rd 2017 at 9:44:42 PM

Nobody hates Gremlins 2 but it at least makes some degree of sense as a follow-up. This one doesn't. It's like they just added Jumanji into an already existing script.

As for what people hate, how about Jack Black's character being essentially the entire premise of a Rob Schneider film of Karen Gillan's character being another sexist stereotype that pretends to be mocking fanservice by...following all of the typical fanservice tropes while being sarcastic about it or something?

Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
TobiasDrake Exposition Dragon from Colorado, USA Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Jul 4th 2017 at 6:37:23 AM

What we see in the trailer are some of the most shallow jokes conceivable with the premise. "LOL the Alpha Bitch is Jack Black." "LOL the nerd is Dwayne Johnson." Gags that are actually crippled by the video game premise; as I noted earlier, they could actually be much funnier if they were willing to go meta with it and make jokes about Jack Black and Dwayne Johnson. But I digress.

There's the shallow, obligatory "Oh my god what is the female PC wearing" gag which is sorely undercut by the fact that what she's wearing isn't actually bad by video game standards. Again, this feels more like a joke at how women in movies are dressed, because shorts and a tank top aren't exactly Ivy Valentine.

That's the issue that permeates the jungle sequences we're shown: there's nothing actually "video gamey" in the video game they're trapped in. Even the action sequences are less Grand Theft Auto and more The Expendables.

Now, the initial Breakfast Club premise actually has promise. Shit, it worked for Power Rangers, but that was because they were willing to commit to it. The characters here seem like someone took ''every high school movie ever made" and just ran a Ctrl+C Ctrl+V over the characters. The Nerd. The Jock. The Alpha Bitch. The Girl Nerd. Done, over, nothing more to add.

That's the problem with the trailer. It could just be a bad trailer, but what this trailer communicates is a bare minimum amount of effort required to make a movie by ticking off a checklist of obligatory scenes while offering nothing new or intriguing to the tropes on display - and with a fundamental misunderstanding of its own premise.

I actually went back and watched the original Jumanji again because of this trailer, and I realized something. At the heart of Jumanji, there is a very interesting theme about extremely damaged people coming together to support each other. Jumanji is a film about trauma. Judy and Peter lost their parents and, as a result, Judy's become a pathological liar and Peter doesn't talk. Alan is shell-shocked from his time in Jumanji and can't cope with the modern world. Sarah has PTSD-induced hallucinations and spent the rest of her life in therapy after witnessing something tragic.

All four of its main characters are completely f*cked in the head by the traumatic experiences they've been through and are forced to work together to help each other overcome their conditions. Jumanji, at its heart, is a silly CGI-fueled action-comedy romp about joining a support group.

Now, there's nothing to say that spirit isn't present in this film. But if it is, it's certainly not visible in the "bare minimum effort required to make a film" trailer that we're shown.

Drake's Razor: Never attribute to cold unfeeling logic that which can be equally explained by emotional outburst.
ThriceCharming Where's the beef? from Texas Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Where's the beef?
Jul 4th 2017 at 9:20:33 PM

I'm sure The Hot Chick is trash (I've never actually seen it), but I don't think any bad movie can permanently ruin an idea. Maybe this instance of "attractive teenage girl trapped in the body of a frumpy comedy actor" will be funny. At this point, I have no real reason to assume it'll suck.

Also, I'm pretty sure the jungle itself isn't supposed to be a video game. The game is just the mechanism that transports you to the jungle, which presumably exists in a parallel universe or something. You know, like the board game in the original.

Check out The Ultimate Reprise, an Ōban Star-Racers podcast by me and my friends!
Tuckerscreator from Traveling through the Multiverse Relationship Status: Drift compatible
Jul 4th 2017 at 10:45:52 PM

But David Manning loved Rob Schneider's movies and if you can't trust him then who can you trust??

edited 4th Jul '17 10:47:09 PM by Tuckerscreator

“If your good mood was ruined because you got into an accident with a car...”
Ulysses21 Relationship Status: Charming Titania with a donkey face
Jul 5th 2017 at 3:21:38 AM

[up][up] The jungle in the original did at least seem to work on real world logic though i.e. the danger was real. In these trailers one character literally gets munched on by a hippo and it's treated like a gag rather than something horrific.

The trailers actually remind me more of D&D or some other rpg where the characters have different skill sets, movement speeds etc. In a video game with a group mechanic (think Left 4 Dead or similar) the characters all tend to move at the same speed, but the trailers make a point of showing that Kevin Hart is noticeably slower than the others, "Why am I running so slow?!" Although possibly this could just be because he's really the big guy who's used to moving faster.

My main question is: shouldn't this thread now be renamed just 'Jumanji (2017)'? They're way beyond being in talks, the film is being released soon.

Avatar from here.
TobiasDrake Exposition Dragon from Colorado, USA Relationship Status: She's holding a very large knife
Jul 5th 2017 at 6:18:56 AM

If it wasn't supposed to be a game, then the characters wouldn't be possessing player avatars.

Drake's Razor: Never attribute to cold unfeeling logic that which can be equally explained by emotional outburst.
Journeyman Overlording the Underworld from On a throne in a vault overlooking the Wasteland
Overlording the Underworld
Jul 5th 2017 at 4:46:53 PM

I'll give it a chance. I hate trailers with a burning passion because I have almost NEVER seen an accurate one. They're always twisting things around and using scenes that don't appear in the final movie. (First one I remember like that is the one for Bicentennial Man, with its infamous U-G-L-Y scene that never showed up in the film itself.)

This one keeps cutting into the middle of the action. We see the biker gang flying up the hill, but not the "what the fuck is that noise" moment before they arrive. We see a stampede in progress but not what causes it. We don't see the instigation on this stuff. Just the action. That has me wondering, since we're in a video game, how is each event starting? In the original it was a roll of the dice followed by a riddle, then you get this slow, tense moment where you're looking around for the threat. Then HELLO! Giant mosquito that survives getting a tennis racket to the face. So I'm wondering what action they take for each threat to pop up. Is it an action, or just constant danger? I want to know, and I know the best way to do that is to see the movie.

Also, I remember a bit of the cartoon. It was the highlight of my Sunday mornings when it was on. I specifically remember the black and red ant people fighting over these weird balls. I wanna say they were made of wax.

Worlder What?
What?
Jul 5th 2017 at 11:18:01 PM

Does anyone here think entering the game would work better using an RPG book?

wild mass guessFor some reason, I like to think that Jumanji is a just one of many simulacrum crafted by a powerful and long lived warlock. Jumanji is one based on the experiences in an early colonial Africa (Van Pelt is obviously a late 19th century or early 20th century foreigner).

There could be other games based on other experiences, real or otherwise. The Wild West. Ancient China. Camelot. World War II Europe.

As for the reason why these worlds were created? Perhaps the warlock wanted to capture and preserve important moments in human history.

Jul 6th 2017 at 2:57:19 AM

I think it's way more likely he just liked fucking with people.

HandsomeRob High Priest of the Holey Brotherhood! from Holey Brotherhood Lair Relationship Status: My elf kissing days are over
High Priest of the Holey Brotherhood!
Jul 6th 2017 at 5:10:27 AM

[up]

Agreed. In the original movie, Jumanji seemed actively malicious (trying to kill it's players since you can't finish the game if even one person is dead, as it won't let you skip turns), so fucking with people is a pretty valid idea.

Read this post for my theory
Journeyman Overlording the Underworld from On a throne in a vault overlooking the Wasteland
Overlording the Underworld
Jul 6th 2017 at 8:06:56 AM

[up][up][up]That preserving moments in history idea doesn't stand up. Jumanji is a generic jungle with a mix of monsters based on wildlife from various jungles across the planet, not just one particular jungle. Plus I don't think "preserving the past" jives with making the wildlife into movie monsters instead of accurate creatures. There's no such thing as spiders that size, or a giant multi-flowered Venus Flytrap with poisoned dart throwers in its flowers.

It's definitely made by someone with either Blue and Orange Morality or a chaos worshiper who figures no matter if you win the game and learn a lesson or lose and die, they had fun watching you suffer either way.

Parable So I Am Relationship Status: Every rose has its thorn
So I Am
Jul 6th 2017 at 8:42:06 AM

With that in mind, one of my favorite parts from the first movie was the very beginning, where the two kids were trying to get rid of the game by buying it. One boy falls into the pit and the drum beat starts and he screams to the other "It's after me!"

Jumanji can think, it's like a lesser cousin of the One Ring.

edited 6th Jul '17 8:42:39 AM by Parable

Nevertheless, you must persist.
Jul 6th 2017 at 12:54:05 PM

[up][up][up] I got the impression that if you died or were otherwise taken out by the game, the game would skip you in the same way it skipped Alan. But if you could conceivably still play, the other players were stuck until you did.

Granted, the only person to die did so right at the end, after the point where it would've mattered.

Zathura is the one where you can't play if someone dies - instead if you get stuck it lets you stew for years before sending you back in time to help yourself succeed.

edited 6th Jul '17 12:55:20 PM by KnownUnknown

"The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy, paraphrasing Mark Twain.
ThriceCharming Where's the beef? from Texas Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Where's the beef?
Jul 6th 2017 at 1:36:23 PM

Holy shit, you guys, do you think we'll see Van Pelt?

Check out The Ultimate Reprise, an Ōban Star-Racers podcast by me and my friends!

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