Your Old Shames.

The blog I used to write, haha, it was terrible. I removed that pile from the internet as best I could years ago.

I don't like my old posts on both this site and discord. I feel like a perverted idiot.

edited 10th Aug '17 7:46:07 PM by CyberController

Pretty much everything I've done on the internet prior to 2014

Some of it after, too

All of my art from 2005 to 2011. Especially 2005, because I was ten years old when I joined Deviant Art and not only was I using MS Paint, but I was acting like a monkey, so I said some stupid crap. A part of me wants to delete those images and hide those comments, but on the other hand, my past hoarding habits want me to keep them for the morbidly curious people. Which is why I made a new Deviant Art account this year, to make a fresh new start.

The old versions of things I've since updated. For example, my very first ponysona. A shining example of how NOT to design one. Also, my previous origin stories for the Power Ponies had a lot of problems, as did my Pokemon Super Fic before I replaced the villain ^note who, at the time, was a Zubat-poop crazy guy with a thing for Vivillon. Thankfully, the former have been updated (except for Humdrum - maybe I should fix that), and the latter had the worst of the issues ironed out by the time I actually started writing it.

I remember writing a really horrible Walt Disney fanfic many years ago, like 2001-ish. One that, I think, was a culmination of every rumor or urban legend attributed to him. I think it even had some "Disney is a racist" layers to it, that now I'm thoroughly ashamed of, especially since any kind of "racist humor", I think now to be absolutely horrible.

Any piece of media that some critic online has torn in two. There's so much stuff I used to really like, now I feel like an idiot.

Oh man...

• My old Pokémon fanfic from when I was 9-10, where the protag got a talking Sneasel for a starter, got invited to join the evil team quickly after starting her adventure but just stole a Pokémon from one of their members and ran away... though I only got to the first gym battle (which was won easily and through an uninteresting fight scene) before stopping
• most of what I did on the internet between ages 9-12 actually
• A few of my earliest Consolers comics were just... bad, and not just because of the art. I actually rewrote/redrew an entire 4-page storyline (now 6 pages) some years back because the original was terrible, especially since it was supposed to show an important moment in the Consolers universe (the broken contract between Nintendo and Sony resulting in the Playstation)

edited 7th May '18 3:18:48 AM by Zanreo

I used to use Internet Explorer.

When I was about 6 I wrote a 'fanfic' that was a rewrite of the first Pokemon movie with me as the villain. Nothing changed much except Ash still had Butterfree and I had a Clefairy cause it was my favorite Pokemon and the magic Pokeballs were green cause it was my favorite color.

A more original one I wrote was one where Team Rocket caught Pikachu via Master Ball and it was up to 'Trainer Bill' (Bill from the TCG was a Trainer card and somehow not only did I not connect it with in-game Bill, I thought it was part of his name) to find him.

There was once a dark, dark age of my life where I was a Greenyfag (a term used to refer to fans of Greeny Phatom). During that time, there came a day where I somehow thought adapting Greeny Phatom as a comic on Flipnote Studio and posting the comic's episodes on Flipnote Hatena was a good idea.

Thankfully, I only made one episode of the comic, and completely forgot to post it to Hatena for some reason, so those horrors never made it onto the internet. I still have the episode on my DSi, but there's no way in heck I'm letting those horrors out now, especially since I'm no longer a fan of Greeny Phatom.

As for the episode itself, I completely forget what happens in it, apart from the fact that Greeny Michael (a stickman character who I think originates from another Greenytoon^note For those unfamiliar, "Greenytoon" is the term used to refer to other webtoons "animated" in MS Paint with text-to-speech voices voicing the characters, such as Geo's World and World of Jake., but I can't remember which one he's from) appeared in it alongside Little Guy and co. But it's probably for the better that I forget most of it.

Some of my other original/fanon stories I really don't think too highly of:

• There is one story that I've come to really loathe because the plot was completely stupid (a disease is turning everyone into Yoshis because...uh...), had a crapton of forced drama (including the mother of all botched Plot Mandated Friendship Failures), and, worst of all, had a racist caricature in it in the form of a minor character who was a stereotypically Chinese Toad who was a bucket salesman who helped the heroes. Granted, I was pretty young when I wrote said story and didn't really know any better at the time, but it still horrifies me that I even wrote such a character at all in the first place. Needless to say, I've since made sure that I never write a character like that again, even accidentally.
  • I would later attempt to rewrite this story (twice, in fact) as a Fix Fic fanfic which divorced it from the setting of my original stories, gave more reason for the disease to even exist (it was to be created by Kamek if I remember correctly), wrote out the terrible stereotype with extreme prejudice, and tried a bit harder to make the drama actually work. Unfortunately, I ended up writing myself into a corner both times that I tried to write it and never finished it. To be honest, though, looking back on it, the rewrite was only marginally better than the original story and still didn't really work. It became kind of a Random Events Plot, had lol-randumb humor several times (suddenly, Winnie-the-Pooh shows up to slice a mountain in half with a katana in response to a snide comment Kevin made!), the first take had a reveal that the Smithy Gang was actually behind everything which was an Shocking Swerve/Ass Pull for the most part (and killed my first rewrite because I had no idea where to go from there), and had an extended fourth-wall breaking Big-Lipped Alligator Moment (where the aforementioned Pooh Bear-wielding-a-katana bit came from) that was executed horribly and just ended up being cringeworthy.
• I tried my hand at writing Choose Your Own Adventure-style adventure stories once and realized pretty quickly that I had no idea how to write one well. It had a (admittedly rather odd) plot focusing on one of several people who woke up transformed into one of my original characters and trying to meet up together to figure out what was going on, but the plot was a total muddled-up Kudzu Plot because I was largely making things up as I went along, and some plot branches were completely pointless as some literally just amounted to: "You spontaneously combust/explode for no reason and die." I'm not making this up, that's literally how some paths ended immediately after being chosen. Needless to say, I never ended up completing any of the ones that I made.

edited 23rd Jun '18 5:32:54 PM by kablammin45

The first character I ever conceptualized. Let’s just say I did everything wrong.

did you mean: everything I've ever created and done

Honestly, though, most of the stuff I wrote as a kid is (to me) kind of cute or just plain hilarious in its poor quality and unabashed weirdness, but this thread seems more dedicated to things one genuinely hates and regrets, so I'll share the thing I'm most ashamed of ever having created: in the summer between fifth and sixth grade, there was a part in one of my (many) Warrior Cats fanfics where a character (my Self-Insert Mary Sue, no less) was so exhausted after the climactic final battle of a Story Arc that she collapsed into a coma for a week (yes), whereupon (spoilering for Squick and trigger warning!) a character created by my brother impregnated her. And he was one of the good guys, and everyone in the story, including the victim, was okay with this. I had absolutely no understanding of anything remotely related to sex outside of a purely biological standpoint, and it showed. Just... what the Dark Forest was wrong with me??? The rest of that "series" was pure So Bad, It's Good nonsense that was really fun at the time, but that... occurrence... kind of stains the whole thing.

The only other fanfic from that period that I cringe rather than laugh at was actually published on the old Warriors Official Forum/Erin Hunter Community. You see, in seventh grade I had an odd obsession with Nyan Cat (which I'm pretty sure was a Discredited Meme even circa 2012). So obviously the thing to do was to write a Warrior Cats fanfic starring it. It was set in Cloudcuckooland and was supposed to be LOLRANDOM (or "randumb" in local vernacular), but plot wise was actually just a boring rehash of the original series. Most other characters weren't even Nyan Cats. Oh, and this thing was called The Poptart Prophecy and actually became somewhat popular. It was just a giant failed attempt at being random. I don't know what I was thinking.

I have this tendency where I'll have one major obsession with one or two fandoms for around three years before gradually losing interest and falling into a new one (thanks, Asperger Syndrome). The phase after Warrior Cats was Avatar: The Last Airbender. No terrible fanfic resulted this time, because I knew I couldn't do the characters or world justice, but I was just really immature, did not know how to deal with my first experience with Perverse Sexual Lust (for Zuko, because of course it was) and shoved my obsession in everyone's faces. I still hung out in the Off Topic Discussions section of the WOF/EHC to chat about other things, including this series. I did make my first Internet friends during this phase, but it was through them being as cringey as I was. There was this thread called "Ze Place of Fangirling" (*gag*) that was sort of a combination Perverse Sexual Lust / Celeb Crush support group and RP thread. It was so cringey and weird, but the members were actually really nice and genuinely cared about each other... I have very polarized feelings about this period.

In a few years I'm going to cringe so hard over the Otaku phase I'm in now, so can I nominate that?

@ParaChomp: you shouldn't always listen to critics; there's things I like that critics hate, so I just stick a finger up at them

This "story" I wrote when I was like 7-9 years old. What was I thinking. Seriously, what. [1]

Made a wikia account when I was 11 or 12 and ended up getting myself banned from the KND wiki. I also made a Deviant Art account and lied about my age to get on and basically, I sort of acted like any 12 year-old on social media would act. Also made really cringy entrances into other forums because being immature, I got a little too overeager and made some enemies. I really really regret being 12 years old.

I deeply regretted how I was during my earlier years of DA. I still can't believe that I made those 'friends'.

I'm not going let it get me down. I now know better so I, at least, don't try get played again.

Well, it's finally time I come clean about this.

My biggest Old Shame is that I was formally a YouTuber named Grief Seed Productions. I used to make top 10 countdown videos under that handle following in the footsteps of Josh Scorcher, Fawful's Minion, and Rabbid Luigi, and at the time, I was a mild success. However, looking back at my old content, they were never really that good to begin with. My audio quality was poor, I had a cringey sense of humor, I would make nonsensical statements for just about anything, and I wasn't really being honest with myself, opting to make false opinions purely out of spectacle. Not to mention I was a huge Puella Magi Madoka Magica fanboy at the time, so I would shill the anime into everything like no tomorrow. Combined with me making stupid decisions and making declarations of leaving YouTube over trivial stuff like "my voice was made fun of", I eventually backed out all-together. Looking back at it now, I'm not proud at what I've done. This was back when I really wanted to be a part of the YouTube world, and I had a massive case of Small Name, Big Ego back then.

Edited by DivineFlame100 on Apr 18th 2019 at 6:08:42 AM

Pretty much everything I did on the internet when I was 7-12. I made a lot of terrible impact font memes and I really want to burn them now, including the rest of the garbage "art" on the DA account I posted them on. I can't look at it without wanting to burn my eyes out.

Aside from DA, I was a major asshole back then too, I really didn't know when to stop when everyone was getting angry at me. And I guess I still don't to a degree. Though I'm mostly trying to make amends with the users I kept in contact with.

Also I used to be a furry. So yeah. Especially that part.

Had a scratch account as a kid, there's plenty of shit there that I don't want on the web. Come to think of it, I'll delete it right now!

Edit: That made me feel very sad for some reason.

Edited by HBomb on Apr 20th 2019 at 11:22:13 AM

This isn't the worst by a long shot, and it doesn't keep me up at night anymore, because this is one of the very few old-shame memories that weren't my fault. But anyway - I grew up homeschooled and experienced the stereotypical isolation and consequent lack of basic social awareness. And one day at age maybe 15, I wanted to wear a skirt to Sunday school, but didn't want to shave my legs. I hated shaving my legs and thus hadn't done it for a few months. I have an unusual amount of body hair for a girl.

I had no idea what the world thinks of that kind of stuff, but I dimly realized that most women I saw wearing skirts had shaved legs, so I asked my mom, "Will I look weird if I do this?" Mom said something like, "Oh they won't notice at all, and you're beautiful no matter what anyway!"

Thanks, Mom.

At Sunday School two students went out of their way to sit on either side of me, which was unusual (everybody else knew each other from school and talked loudly to one another, while I said maybe five sentences in three years of this class). The two girls talked across me to each other, saying "Ah man, I forgot to shave my legs today." "Oh no, it must have been a jungle!"

I thought they were legitimately just having a conversation that had nothing to do with me. Then, after thinking about it for a few days, I thought they must have been advising me to shave my legs but were too polite to do it directly. I was so bad at people, it took me a while to figure out they were mocking.

I have a LOT of stuff I regret doing when I was younger. A serious lot. And this is only a few of the dumb things I did:

- When I was in 3rd grade I had this wolf character who was a black wolf with wings and purple markings. It was supposed to be an "Ender" design (like the Enderdragon from Minecraft) because I was obsessed with Ender-themed stuff when I was little (basically anything black+purple). I was on Roblox and saw someone else with a wolf that was black with purple stripes so I accused them of stealing my character even though they didn't even know I existed until I came along and accused them of stealing - looking back I'm pretty sure it was made years before my character. Then me and the person got into a huge feud over wolf characters.

- On Roblox back when the forums were around I wanted to be in this dragon roleplay, but they rejected me because my form was terribly-made, so I copied their whole roleplay and said it was mine. Then everyone got mad at me and it caused drama. Then because of that I got myself my very own personal hater who would comment "LOL BORING!" on all my games and dislike them all.

- When I was 5-6 years old I was on this "girly game" website, which was basically this site full of Flash games and stuff and 95% of the users were 8 year old girls. I had my own account. My username was "puppylover200359" or something generic like that (It was "puppylover" followed by a few numbers). You could talk in the comments and in the comments of a horse game, some girl said she had lots of horses at home. I even remember her username - it was "Giraffe 123" or something like that. You know what 5 year old me thought it was perfectly socially acceptable to respond to that with? "Give me one of your pet horses or I will kill you" or something like that. This is probably THE worst f-up I have ever made in my life. Like this is seriously messed up.

- Every time I wanted to play Poptropica I made a new account because I kept forgetting my password.

- I LOVED to draw "roblox comics" of stuff, usually either based off things that happened in my roblox game that day or rehashes of stuff I had seen elsewhere. For example, if I played a building game and a girl built a shop out of Pepsi, I would draw that. 95% of my comics were about me blowing up guests and calling them ugly noobs, etc. (Younger me was a jerk to Roblox guests) I also got obsessed with this Roblox youtube skit called "Noob School" and drew at least 5 comic rewrites of it except with me as the teacher and the misbehaving student is a guest who then dies. One time I was playing the "Guess the Drawing" game where one person is the artist, has to draw a word (eg: "bird" "tree" or "waffle" etc) and everyone guesses it, and the artist in one round wrote a bad word instead of drawing the actual word. Later that day I then drew a comic based off that game (in real life on paper, not on the game itself) with the first panel about Guess the Drawing, the first panel being a Roblox person writing "FUCK" in big letters. Needless to say my mum wasn't happy.

- I made this Youtube channel a long time ago back when I was like 9 or 10 or something, only two videos were on it. One had me saying Guests were stupid, and the other was a "Roblox story" about me and a black dragon called "Ender" and I went on about how "Donald" is a bad name for a dragon. Hilarious enough, I didn't know who Donald Trump was back then. Younger me foreshadowed that naming dragons after America's first orange president is bad!

- My first OC was named "Ender Girl" and it was a crappy Minecraft OC. She had purple hair and black clothes and she was queen of The End and The Ender Dragon was her pet. Needless to say, she was a Mary-Sue.

Most of these things only happened because younger me was stupid and I wish younger me didn't have internet access... seriously if any of the enemies I made due to my younger self's stupidity ever stumble upon this I hope they know I'm extremely sorry for being such an idiot!

Tl;Dr: Accused someone of stealing my OC even though theirs was around longer than mine, plagarised a forum roleplay, told someone I would kill them, forget Poptropica logins, drew comics of roblox characters swearing, crappy Youtube channel and Mary-Sue OC.

I found the last of my old Warrior Cats fanfics. Compared to the nonsense in my earlier post, it's not horrible, but it certainly isn't good either. It will never be finished, but didn't have much of a plot anyway. It was a sort of fantastic-Slice of Life story taking place in a Clan system where all the cats had wings (specifically described as "eagle-like"). I think the mountain and surrounding areas where they lived were a sort of Hidden Elf Village where humans and normal cats never ventured? Since the characters are always described as "winged cats," normal cats must have existed somewhere... Anyway, it's still overly dramatic and filled with weird attempts at one-liners, flat characters, and cliches of original-Clan stories except for the pack of winged wolves who could just barely communicate with cats. That was... original...

But the one true Old Shame that I couldn't reread a paragraph of without cringing too hard to continue, which I had repressed from my memory, is: this Song Fic... thing. I still entertain myself with mental AM Vs and animatics, but now know that without talent or means to create them I should just keep them to myself.

Edited by Katdo on Jun 12th 2019 at 8:07:38 AM

Back during the infancy of my writing back in 2009-2011 my characters and storylines would flip-flop between two sides: terrible and one-off or interesting and with depth. Somehow, SOMEHOW I made a character who was both. He was one of those classic vengeful demon characters typical of a teenager but over time I gave him a decent character development. The old shame comes in because he suffered heavily from Continuity Snarl. Not helped by me having a second writer influence my decisions and as a result his character details and origins are never fixed and has been through more than one reboot and even then who he is depends on the writer.