A time bubble gun?!
I'm tempted to watch the movie more now.
How long till I can watch the action scenes on You Tube?
"I am Alpharius. This is a lie."Okay, so I saw this yesterday, and I'm gonna spoil tag my thoughts of it here.
This is only marginally better than Age of Extinction by virtue of it being short enough that I didn't feel like I was fusing into my theater seat, and yet I still dislike it immensely. We all knew Optimus wouldn't actually be full-time evil and he's only Nemesis Prime for like four minutes (I counted), and even then he doesn't show up to fight anyone as Nemesis Prime until maybe two hours into the film. He's barely in the film at all. Hell, to Age of Extinction's credit, they at least try giving him character. Mark Wahlberg makes me wish for Shia Le Beouf. At least Sam Witwicky was a huge fucking dork, Cade Yeager just feels like "generic action hero number one thousand and sixty-two", and an unsympathetic one at that. He's a dick and an all around unpleasant jerk just like in the last film with a stereotypical black dork as his sidekick for a good portion of the film who he bullies around and hassles. They should've made the girl from the museum the main character, she had a semblance of an arc that could've been turned into a big driving plot instead of focusing on Cade dicking around with John Goodman bot, British bot, racist samurai bot, Steve Buscemi bot, Grimlock (who is in this even less than in the fourth one), and Bumblebee (who it still pisses me off can't actually talk and even once he does close to the end, it's not even permanent). Megatron at least looks better than before and I love Frank Welker so much but his threat keeps diminishing with each movie. He shouldn't have been in here. His Deception buddies were also fucking worthless, and I swear to god one of them gave me Skids and Mudflap flashbacks with how blatantly racist he was (I think he was named Mohawk or some shit?). Hot Rod has only one character trait: he's got a French accent. That's it. Oh, and he has a time bubble gun for some reason? Anthony Hopkins was a waste of talent here, some of his lines being poorly written, cringe inducing "hip slang" or something that felt so wrong coming out of his mouth. Imagine Anthony Hopkins saying "that is a bitchin' car" and tell me if it sounds natural at all. Hell, he seemed relatively disinterested about being in the film. John Turturro is there for a few scenes in another stereotypically racist locale (Cuba), and he's basically just exposition to reveal the film's twist: Earth is actually Unicron the whole time! Which...is fucking idiotic, I'm sorry. Makes Sentinel's plan from Dark of the Moon stupid in hindsight and wastes Unicron by turning him into Cybertron's anti-Christ with no personality. Quintessa had an interesting design but she just seems kind of flat and uninteresting, and then the ending with her suddenly assuming a human form left me with Revenge of the Fallen flashbacks and annoyance at another sequel hook. The flashback scenes that all the trailers showed aren't even major things in the film outside of the opening flashback, which made me wonder if I'd accidentally wandered into a different film altogether. Stanley Tusci is Merlin apparently...which makes me wonder if Merlin has any relation to the guy from Age of Extinction, but they never address it. Also, he was just a source of stupid jokes about him being drunk. I have no idea why the hell Bumblebee doesn't remember being in World War II or why he was there, I'd always assumed he had just landed on Earth in the very first one. Oh, and we have one little cameo of Sam Witwicky...in the form of a photo in Anthony Hopkins's mansion because apparently he's related to the Witwicky's. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I think one line of dialogue implies that every single Witwicky is dead? I may have misinterpreted it or something but if I'm right, then that just pisses me off even more.
As for positives...that girl, I forgot her name, but she was a legitimately wonderful actress in an otherwise crappy film. Like somebody said earlier, she did the same thing Kelsey Grammer did in the last film and took this piece of shit seriously, giving a genuinely great performance that honestly could've been in a different movie. One joke made me laugh and it was Bumblebee getting a new voice box, but it turning out to be the Siri voice. You just have to make Siri say "bitch ass" and I'll laugh. There's some ideas there that I liked, the idea of a giant family guarding the knowledge of the Transformers, the idea of Quintessa Prime herself, or even the idea of Josh Duhamel's character going from working with the Autobots to hunting them down, but it feels like this one was where even Bay felt like he was running out of ideas. I didn't leave the theater with blinding fury like I did after over three hours of Age of Extinction, I left the theater with flat out uncaring apathy, and I can't tell if that's better or worse. Fuck, I enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean's fifth installment more than I enjoyed this, and Dead Men Tale No Tales was fucking shit.
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?This movie is FAR worse than AOE imo. AOE was actually a step up from ROTF and DOTM for me. Plus it had some stuff that I enjoyed. The villains most notable, both the humans (Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci, and Titus Welliver) and Lockdown, were solid. Cade was a step up from Sam as a protagonist, the action was fine, it set up some potentially interesting mythology stuff moving forward, and we actually got to see more of the Transformers themselves.
This, had virtually none of that. And it was even more stupid and nonsensical than every film except for maybe ROTF.
But I'll give it one thing, at least Bay wasn't sexualizing a female character who's meant to be a teenager, or stopping the movie dead in it's tracks for several minutes to explain why it's ok for her to have sexy times with her adult BF in the most awkward/creepy way possible. So there's that.
Boy am I disappointed that Cade is the titular Last Knight. Damn I was so excited as to who it was gonna be, could it have been Optimus, Bumbelbee, Hot Rod or some epic new antagonist to become the movies climactic final boss. But fuck no cause we always gotta have the fucking human be the hero of legend in a Goddamn Transformers movie.
Though good news : this movie has the lowest opening for a Bayformers movie ever & its struggling to recuperate its earnings domestically.
But now the bad news: Its gonna make up the rest of its earnings internationally with China already making over 100 million for the movie. Motherfucker.
edited 25th Jun '17 12:53:01 PM by slimcoder
"I am Alpharius. This is a lie."![]()
And now it has dropped 80% in China so this franchise seems to be at death's door.
Well then praise Primus my organic brother cause thanks to his almighty power audiences are finally tired of this shit.
Michael Bay certainly can't say people will still go see it even if its crap cause no one's going to see it.
Hopefully the Bumblebee movies' good even if its predecessor's already set such a low bar that it be Primus-damned hard to be just as bad or worse.
"I am Alpharius. This is a lie."Considering that Bay has said that he's pretty much done making these movies, it does kind of explain why this film was so lackluster. He seemed to just want to get it over with so he can move on to projects he actually is passionate about.
You can really tell when he is giving his all, and when he is just half-a****g it, and this film was definitely the latter.
He did. I recall reading about how he said that Dark of the Moon was his last movie till he said he's coming back for the next one & when he said Age of Extinction was his last movie till he announced he's coming back for 5.
I'm not sure the exact reason but from what I get is that he keeps getting asked to direct more stuff cause no matter how critically received they are his movies keeps producing major bank which makes this movie's failing especially in China that much of a breakthrough cause it finally gives Paramount incentive not to hire him back. He can't make them money anymore.
Hopefully the next movie gets an entire new & different crew that can produce a film of legitimate quality.
"I am Alpharius. This is a lie."He's described it as letting a baby go. He's mentioned too that the release dates for ROTF and DOTM were set without his permission, and he agreed because he is loyal to the studio, who are nervous about not having a tentpole film one summer, and especially loyal to his crew, who rely on that big movie shoot to pay the bills more than he does. One caveat is that he was given the freedom to do a smaller, personal film and not spend ALL his time making Transformers, the first three films came out in two year intervals. Christopher Nolan did a similar thing so he wouldn't be pressured too much with the The Dark Knight saga. However much you may dislike those films, they allowed him to make the much better received Pain and Gain and 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.
edited 1st Jul '17 10:24:45 PM by KJMackley
I loved this movie. It was too long, chaotic, ridiculously plotted (the Knights of the Round Table were actually working alongside the Transformers! Mark Wahlberg is the only one who can wield the sword to defeat Unicron!), filled with complex CGI, and just completely batshit crazy.
Cinema would die without these kinds of movies.
3DS FC: 1719-3694-1541People have been proclaiming the death of cinema for years, I ain't buying it until it happens. The Transformers movies are hopefully on their way out but even then there's still gonna be shit popping in for us to get angry about. If this were the 80's I feel like we'd be ranting about a lot of stuff there too.
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?

I'm just trying to prepare myself mentally for when/if I see it.