"Well, it's not like I'm putting concerted efforts into trying to kill you." WOLF quickly counts in his head. "And I've only lost FOUR partners to inquisiting. Honestly, I warned them about the landmines."
edited 22nd Mar '15 7:28:15 PM by WolfAmongGods
Saint LaughterA cafeteria employee, in an orange jumpsuit and an orange hat, starts walking through the dining area. He is carrying a tray of boxed Pop FunTM. "Pop fun." he says, in a resigned voice. "The puffed reconstituted, sweet snack that comes with a special toy surprise. Five expenditure points.". A few red clearance citizens buy boxes, careful to avoid the orange dining area after they buy their treat.
Other employees circulate selling Soylent Crisps, Bouncy Bubbly Beverage, and Freeze-Dried Cold Fun.
The guy selling Pop Fun wanders over to Lanius. "Hey, are you looking for a non-mandatory article of clothing?" he asks. "I might be able to tell you where to look for buying something like that, if you'd be willing to buy a box of Pop Fun to help me make my quota."
edited 22nd Mar '15 10:35:23 PM by Nodrog
Dubious of how 'fun' or 'pop' the contents of the bags were Teslaa hestitated to buy one, though was please LANIUS may have serendipitously found a way to acquire a new feather boa, "Hmm, looks like we may have spoke too soon - It's your lucky day, LANIUS. What's in Pop Fun that makes it so... poppy and-or funny, citizen? If you don't mind me asking..."
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”The vendor hands Lanius a box of Pop Fun, along with a folded piece of paper.
The following is an automated informational supplement for Pop Fun TM that is seen by Teslaa-O-COI-2, via Teslaa's neural implant.
Greetings, citizen! You've expressed curiosity about Pop FunTM, one of the many exciting food alternatives offered by Friend Computer!
Video images of large, stainless steel vats and busy Infrared class citizens working arround them.
Pop FunTM begins as Synth StarchTM, which is the basis for Soylent CrispsTM and many other synthetic foods. The Synth StarchTM is heated and mixed with air to produce light, fluffy puffs. These puffs are then sent through a rigerous quality control screening, to make sure only the perfect puffs make it to the next stage of Pop FunTM production.
One of the infrared citizens falls into a vat. The other citizens don't notice, busy pouring large barrels of chemical goop into the vat.
Then, artificial sweetener syrup is added to the puffs. The puffs are agitated to allow the syrup to evenly coat each puff, producing the distinctive taste and color of Pop FunTM. Finally, the now sweeted puffs are placed in boxes and a special toy surprise is added.
The video cuts to images of large automated fork-lift-bots carrying pallettes of Pop FunTM into a large warehouse.
Once the boxes of Pop FunTM are produced, they are stored untill needed, so that Friend Computer can make sure that suffecient stockpiles of Pop FunTM are on hand in case of Terrorist Threats. Once Friend Computer has decided that suffecient reserves have been met, Pop FunTM is sent out to food service areas to bring joy and delight to citizens of all color classifications.
Pop FunTM!!! The sweet, crunchy treat with a toy surprise in every box! Try some today!
Citizen Teslaa-O-COI-2, you have been charged five (5) eXpenditure Points for this information. Does this make you happy?
edited 23rd Mar '15 1:09:20 AM by Nodrog
"That... was legitimately more than I ever wanted to know about the food-like products in alpha complex." TESLAA raised her eyebrows, even happier she had gotten out of that soylent plant before she was turned into a 'special surprize', "Still not sure I'll buy one... Thanks, though. What's up with the paper LANIUS?"
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”Lanius hrms, then opens the box of Pop Fun and dumps he snacks onto his tray, revealing a bunch of Cheeto-ish snacks colored a bright orange and the toy, a plastic decoder ring. He says "Here, lemme see that" and takes the paper from Teslaa. Using the ring, he decodes the password and gets "Steve sent me." "Does anyone have a pen or something else I can write with?"
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor HebertYes, Friend Computer, sufficiently happy as I am always within Alpha Complex. Thank you. TESLAA replied to the computer carefully and promptly before examining the paper, "Hmm, very interesting... Damn, it would be in my home sector." She frowned, not terribly eager to see her previous Infrared comrades but the market could be useful in a number of ways, "Good work with the decoder ring, LANIUS - Infrareds never were the best at subtlety." She produces a pen from her jumpsuit and hands it to LANIUS. "So, you guys up for another 'adventure'? WOLF, you have to promise not to go near any industrial fans."
edited 23rd Mar '15 2:07:24 AM by Lt.BGob
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”The last RED troubleshooter entered the premises, having tired eyes and glancing around. Swp hadn't taken breakfast yet so waited in line. Almost everything was gone due to him being late, but really, that wasn't much of a bother. All the guy really needed was one of those waffles and some Near-Caf. Kcin started walking over to where he was supposed to sit, mading sure to use the limited knowledge he'd taken from the Café to avoid any and all Oranges that hadn't finished/and/or didn't have any breakfast.
ROLL = 1 + Brains (2) + Alpha Complex Knowledge (2) = 6, 5, 2, 3, 2
edited 23rd Mar '15 3:43:53 AM by Nickpws
"Well I wouldn't want to waste Alpha Complex's resources so I do Jackbot repair right? I found a big broken one that wasn't in the repair list so rather than leave it for some Infrared to hurt themselves trying to haul it I have been trying to restore it to operational order for Friend Computer, I've got quite a bit done and it should be operational with a week so long as no overtime comes. But I figured it'd be interesting to have a robotic assistant."
WOLF sat in total serenity for a moment before reading the paper. "Infrared Market eh? Frizzer fraggen eh? Hm, I solemny swear not to accidentally eradicate myself or other teamates." With that, WOLF musters the most evil and diabolical laughter he can manage.
edited 23rd Mar '15 7:36:25 AM by WolfAmongGods
Saint LaughterSwp Kcin-R-RUA-1, through the clever use of procrastination, manages to buy his breakfast and actually find a place to sit without any Orange citizen confiscating his tray. However, the Soylent Hash has congealed to almost brick like consistency, the protein waffles are now cold, and the Near-Caf is now more the consistency of tar rather then easily drinkable beverage it's supposed to.
The good news, of course, is that this renders the synthetic foods only slightly less edible then they originally were.
As Swp Kcin sits down, he hears the familiar voice of Friend Computer speaking through his implant. Good Morning, Citizen! I regret to inform you that you only have ten minutes left to enjoy your mandatory breakfast period. Clearly, you are not aware of how important breakfast is.
A video
begins playing in Swp Kcin's head, making it impossible for him to actually eat until the movie is over.
You now have seven minutes and twenty-three seconds left to finish breakfast. Swp Kcin manages to use his Specialized Produce-Oralizing Retrieval Kit to dig into the combination of four differently flavored and textured Synth StarchTM that is Soylent Hash when...
A teeth rattling air horn blast occurs in the heads of our orange level trouble shooters. "Your team has been selected for an important mission. Please collect your new intern and then report to briefing room 318 in COI sector. You have seven minutes and twenty-one seconds."
The orange level trouble shooters look around and see a flashing red arrow above Swp Kcin's head.
edited 23rd Mar '15 10:17:37 AM by Nodrog
Kcin just stood up, suddenly getting a bad feeling at why those Oranges are glaring at him. He swears, if ANY of them try to use force on him he's going to kick one's teeth in. Caution before action however, Swp walked over out of curiosity. "You guys need me? Because clearly you were ogling me."
edited 23rd Mar '15 10:22:44 AM by Nickpws
WOLF ambushes the RED, jumping at him with gnashing teeth.
"En garde!" This should suffeciently test his capabilities.
Saint Laughter

"Before we run out of clones? Eh, maybe..." TESLAA shrugged, "More likely we'll get illed by a laser rifle first but I guess that's close enough. I'd settle for not becoming soylent paste before the week-cycle ends, though somehow WOLF's proximity doesn't make that seem terribly likely."
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”