Push the button?

I suck at parties anyway. Press!

You will understand all languages

BUT

henceforth you can only speak l33t.

Nope.

You can have flight, super strength, and invincibility.

But.

You will become extremely overweight and smell bad.

No.

You wake up and find the world styled like TAWOG

BUT

Sarah will stalk you until you're dead.

*hands the button off to some unsuspecting person*

You will get a puppy

BUT

You will be told the day it dies.

Screw that, I can just get a puppy at the pound.

You will gain $10,000,000.

BUT.

You have to deal with all the IRS crap for another person.

edited 5th Jun '14 4:26:08 PM by BaconManiac5000

As long as s it's only once, press.

You gain the ability to punch things and break them as in Mine Craft

BUT

You will be perceived as a real life Creeper to everyone but yourself.

That'll ward off people who play Minecraft.

The button is now an egg

AND

It's made of chocolate

Uh, yes.

You are a psychic.

BUT.

You know what day you die, and there's no way to change it.

Yes. Knowing when I'll die encourages me to get more out of the time I have.

You write a book series that outsells Harry Potter and Twilight combined

BUT

Stephenie Meyer is your co-author.

As long as i get cold hard cash.

You find a journal like the ones from Gravity Falls

BUT

it's instead filled with the psychotic thoughts of a crazy person than weird creatures

Nope.

You gain ownership of Stephanie Meyer's brainstorming journal

AND

There's no useful information inside.

And I want that why?

You get to fly.

....

By the power of flatulence.

FartMan to the rescue!

You get a supercomputer capable of running any program ever written and that ever could be written

BUT

the OS is an omni-compatible version of Microsoft Bob (Gateway 2000 edition).

edited 5th Jun '14 6:37:48 PM by razorrozar7

Sure. I could learn the OS.

You get a million dollars...

...but...

Someone else is condemned to live in poverty for the rest of their life, with no hope of escape.

A true human being would feel the painful guilt for that person for years, but i'm not most people. Plus, it could be one of my hated enemies getting his/her just deserts.

Press the button and it rains chocolate milk

BUT

A Baby Born will die before the storm

Chocolate milk rain would be unpleasant no matter what else happened.

You can airbend.

BUT.

You are The Last Airbender.

If we're talking one of those cutesy baby dolls I always used to see advertised while watching Transformers Cybertron, that's an added bonus. I hated their commercials.

If it's an actual baby, fuck no.

Sure. My current life is shit anyway.

You get fabulous wealth and riches...

...but...

...you can't use it to help anyone else, nor can you earn any ordinary money or do any ordinary work.

edited 5th Jun '14 7:03:21 PM by MicoolTNT

No. I want to earn my money and I want to share it.

You are a famous and attractive celebrity (you become a new one, not a pre-existing one)

BUT

all of your current favorite actor/author/designer's work from now on will be half-assed and shoddy.

I don't really want all that attention, anyway.

You get top billing on a movie.

BUT.

It's Dragon Ball Evolution 2.

Nah.

You obtain the ability to assist your friends with their problems that really matter

BUT

You are unaware of the Real Life issues that come with helping everyone around you all the time.

Why can't I just help out like a normal person?((BTW, which anime did Ryuga come from?))

You live in a fantasy land of your wildest dreams

BUT

You're best friends with Angelina Ballerina

NO

Ragyo Kiryuin came from Kill La Kill. If Aizen is the Magnificent Bastard el numero uno, then Ragyo is the Magnificent MILF of Kill La kill.

The button teleports to an unknown location after you press it, anywhere within 50 miles of your location

BUT

If you find it and press it within a day, you get a million bucks, no strings attached.

I'm willing to roll the dice.

You can incapacitate people by looking them in the eye

BUT

This incapacitates you as well.

I wouldn't chance it.

Bread Winners gets sold to Disney channel and you won't have to deal with it again.

BUT

The Loud House will never get created

I don't much give a damn about either of those things I've never heard of.

You get to become a cyborg

BUT

So do your friends and family, and they don't get fair warning first.