TVTropes Now available in the app store!
Open

Follow TV Tropes

Following

General Autism Discussion

Go To

SilasW A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#276: May 21st 2014 at 1:00:42 AM

If it's a there and then thing yeah, but I think that's more to do with me being okay with saying the wrong thing and looking like an idiot, that and I talk a lot.

Though I do often just go "o sod it I'll do it myself", but that's connected to my ADD not my ASD.

edited 21st May '14 1:02:12 AM by SilasW

“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
BonsaiForest Since: Jan, 2001
#277: May 21st 2014 at 7:46:31 AM

What do you think of the stupid "autistic used as an insult" thing going on right now? It's so common, and most of the people using the word don't even fucking know what it means, instead using it merely as a synonym for any of the following things:

  • stupid
  • childish/immature for one's age (in regards to interests or personality)
  • socially awkward
  • weird or very different from most people

It's become a generic insult to some degree, but at least some of those who use it have a vague idea as to what it means.

I think part of it is the mainstream media's current focus on autism, and the fact that most people don't bother to research anything; they just hear a few things on the media, form their own impression of it in their head, and then act on their own exaggerated or misunderstood version of whatever it is they "learned" about.

This is why, for instance, efforts to get people to report terrorism resulted in people instead reporting stereotypes.

edited 21st May '14 7:47:03 AM by BonsaiForest

demarquis (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#278: May 21st 2014 at 10:41:58 AM

There is a segment of the population who engage in casual conversation as an opportunity to inflate their own ego by putting other people down. Such individuals will use any opportunity they think they can get: if you are black, they'll use that, if you're gay, then that, and if your an Aspie...

I'm done trying to sound smart. "Clear" is the new smart.
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001
Nemesis
#279: May 21st 2014 at 4:51:09 PM

@Bonsai Forest: I haven't actually seen or heard this myself. So it can't be everywhere.

A brighter future for a darker age.
Furienna from Örnsköldsvik, Sweden Since: Nov, 2013
#280: May 21st 2014 at 5:19:08 PM

Teachers under investigation for abuse at Virginia autism center: "...Upon entering the room [the staff member] witnessed a teacher assistant chasing a 13-year-old special needs student around the room, ” York County Sheriff’s spokesman Dennis Ivey wrote in an email about the May 16 incident. “The witness further reported that upon catching the child she [the teacher assistant] allegedly began sticking the child several times in the arm with a push pin.”
I hope this woman will have problems finding a new job for the rest of her life! [tdown]

BonsaiForest Since: Jan, 2001
#281: May 22nd 2014 at 8:25:40 AM

Adult bullies. Who look after children.

It's like the stories we hear about crappy gym teachers and others who play favorites or treat certain kids like trash.

BonsaiForest Since: Jan, 2001
#282: May 22nd 2014 at 8:28:56 AM

Okay, another subject of mine - getting to relate to people.

One autistic said that he feels like he spent his whole life pretending to be human.

Not being able to relate to most people is a huge problem for us. When the number of potential friends/acquaintances is small to start with, the number that we successfully make will be even smaller. What have your experiences been like? I imagine I will soon feel inadequate.

CombatC122 from The Frozen Icebox Since: May, 2011
#283: May 22nd 2014 at 9:20:54 AM

I am fortunate enough to be married and also have what I would consider a good relationship with family, but I don't think I have any other particularly close friends who aren't related to me along those lines. And the strange thing is I don't think that fact especially bothers me. Not that I don't have some casual friends or am averse to the idea of hanging around with people of similar interests, but when I'm stressed out, my best recourse always seems to be spending time alone. The only thing that really bothers me about this is that I sometimes worry if it makes other people think things about me that would have a negative impact on things like my job search.

BonsaiForest Since: Jan, 2001
#284: May 22nd 2014 at 11:10:44 AM

You at least have someone. HOW did you manage to get married? Somewhere around 1% of us are, supposedly, according to at least one study I'd read.

AwSamWeston Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker. from Minnesota Nice (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: Married to the job
Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker.
#285: May 22nd 2014 at 11:27:35 AM

I think I mentioned this before somewhere, but (as far as I can tell) after around age 15 or 16 I gained a wealth of "Adorkable" personality traits, which really does help when making nerdy friends.

Now, are there people who laugh at me for being awkward and giddy at the same time? Probably. Which is why I'm glad I'm too socially blind to notice or care.

EDIT: I should probably also mention that I'm an extrovert, so that helps.

edited 22nd May '14 8:52:04 PM by AwSamWeston

Actual Filmmaker trying to earn a Creator page. Gleahan and the Knaves of Industry — available now on streaming and blu-ray.
CombatC122 from The Frozen Icebox Since: May, 2011
#286: May 22nd 2014 at 11:54:13 AM

[up][up] I met her in college, we got close, and it eventually evolved into a serious, long term relationship. I'm really not sure how else to describe the progression, especially since I'd never even dated anyone else before her. It might have something to do with the fact that she has Asperger's, but it's not like I knew that nor suspected myself of being anything other than introverted until a few years into it.

BonsaiForest Since: Jan, 2001
#287: May 22nd 2014 at 12:07:26 PM

I still feel like I can't relate to most people, and I'm not close to anyone, Aspies included, though I at least relate better to them.

Furienna from Örnsköldsvik, Sweden Since: Nov, 2013
#288: May 22nd 2014 at 12:26:39 PM

Yeah, I've never had a boyfriend either. But my siblings were also "late bloomers".

Silasw A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#289: May 22nd 2014 at 4:19:47 PM

See now I get on reasonably well with most people, but I think that's because I know how to compensate for my inability to pick up the subtle social cues and actions that normally help such interaction. I do this generally by being very blunt and obvious with everything, so people get what it is I feel and thus reciprocate and I'm able to get what they feel.

Though I admit that most of my long term friendships are (or at least were initially) built upon my hero-complex. I tend to spend a lot of time looking out for my friends and being there for them, I guess it helps that a lot of my friends don't have easy lives.

However I kinda had to learn to interact with people, six years of boarding school kinda forces you to learn those skills, it's not possible to hide yourself away in that enviroment (nor is it really possible for others to run away).

“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
CombatC122 from The Frozen Icebox Since: May, 2011
#290: May 22nd 2014 at 5:07:12 PM

See, with me I don't think it's so much an inability to pick up social cues (well, as far as I know), but I suspect the way I react to people might contribute to my being perceived as awkward. Unless I'm with people I already know fairly well, it can be an effort to interact with them, so as a result I tend not to go out of my way to do that, which causes me to come across as very quiet.

Xopher001 Since: Jul, 2012
#291: May 22nd 2014 at 7:09:31 PM

I have trouble picking up social cues too. Sometimes my mom will pull me aside and nag me that I should have done this or that I'm putting said person off (even if it turns out I'm really not). Like, I guess the really subtle kind. Like when your sitting with someone and not really talking , or you are talking , I don't know if there's something on your face or body language I'm supposed to be looking for. Does you folding your hands mean your become impatient ? Maybe my mom will pull me aside and give me a lecture about it. This has made me more polite than most teens my age, but I'm still pretty quiet. I usually put in a persona when I'm with people and have to hold a convertaion with them. Ok example : I was carpooling home with a classmate the other day. My mom insisted I have a conversation with her, and thank her (profusely) for giving me a ride (I did but she said it was no big deal since she only lived ten minutes away). I'm not normally good at talking to people. I mean it's not something that I'm inclined to do. I only talked to her, or I think I did, because my mom insisted that otherwise would be rude

Alichains Since: Aug, 2010
#292: May 22nd 2014 at 7:14:14 PM

I've been told that folding your arms makes you seem more standoffish and closed.

Furienna from Örnsköldsvik, Sweden Since: Nov, 2013
#293: May 22nd 2014 at 8:19:36 PM

Ugh, such rules can be really annoying. I mean, you can so easily break one without even knowing what you do!

AwSamWeston Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker. from Minnesota Nice (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: Married to the job
Fantasy writer turned Filmmaker.
#294: May 22nd 2014 at 8:56:11 PM

[up] This. Most annoying part about people.

[up][up] That makes sense, I guess, but it didn't even occur to me until you just said that.

Speaking of "learning the social cues," I remember being in school (special-ed program) and the teachers would keep making me do worksheets about stupid things like body language and verbal cues. In theory, it would have helped. In practice, it was more like busy-work.

Anyone else care to share their experiences with disability teachers at school?

Actual Filmmaker trying to earn a Creator page. Gleahan and the Knaves of Industry — available now on streaming and blu-ray.
Furienna from Örnsköldsvik, Sweden Since: Nov, 2013
#295: May 22nd 2014 at 10:01:35 PM

I guess my experience was mostly good, but a few teachers could be really stupid.

SmytheOrdo Wide Eyed Wonderman from In The Mountains Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Wide Eyed Wonderman
#296: May 23rd 2014 at 5:09:09 AM

I've dated a few semi-N Ts(one had ADHD and another had an undiagnosed disorder I felt) and one thing i noticed is that I would often say "I love you" because I felt it HAD to be said when dating, and they would often get annoyed i said it so much, but I felt it had to be said usually.

David Bowie 1947-2016
demarquis (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#297: May 23rd 2014 at 5:11:20 AM

I have heard somewhere that one common characteristic of mildly autistic people is that they have a tendency to treat people at one of two extremes- either the love of their life or just some casual acquaintance, with nothing in between.

I'm done trying to sound smart. "Clear" is the new smart.
SmytheOrdo Wide Eyed Wonderman from In The Mountains Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Wide Eyed Wonderman
#298: May 23rd 2014 at 5:16:42 AM

Not really that true. I had friends, best friends and romantic interests. While yes, I did get that mushy upon actually getting together.

edited 23rd May '14 5:18:42 AM by SmytheOrdo

David Bowie 1947-2016
BonsaiForest Since: Jan, 2001
#299: May 23rd 2014 at 12:10:32 PM

I think a quote is in order:

for some reason there is this notion that autistic children will "grow out of it" with just the right teaching method. That when they become adults, they are no longer autistic, just weird and quirky adults. My brother is 22 and most definitely is an adult with autism. He will always be autistic. I have also found that people are accepting and kind if they meet an child with autism, but if an adult exhibits the same traits he is met with shame, ridicule, and revulsion. My one dream for my brother is that one day he will have a friend. So far, all the adults he has met who should be in his peer group have treated him like dirt.

This was taken from the comments section of an article about adult autism - one of the FEW such articles that are out there. Almost all of the comments were from people either on the spectrum or familiar with it, meaning that the article wasn't reaching the audience it needed to reach, but instead reached an "in-the-know" audience, which doesn't help.

Really though, autistic adults get creepzoned all the fucking time, and it pisses me off. And then there's this:

I knew someone a long time ago who must have had aspergers before anyone knew what to call it. Despite his obvious intelligence, his people skills were so bad he was eventually fired from job after job. People were so mean to him, they called him Rain Man. I think had he been growing up now he would have had the help he needed growing up to function better in society.

That's a comment from an article about how the hiring process makes it nearly impossible for autistics to get jobs. Networking, people skills, the right kind of handshake (not too firm, not too weak, just right), stupid shit like that. The article (viewed here) said that companies are starting to realize that autistics can be very good at certain kinds of tasks, and said that whatever companies get it right first will have a competitive advantage, and will lead the way for other companies to hire high-functioning autistics.

This may be our first step into full acceptance in society.

edited 23rd May '14 12:24:35 PM by BonsaiForest

DeviantBraeburn Wandering Jew from Dysfunctional California Since: Aug, 2012
Wandering Jew
#300: May 23rd 2014 at 4:50:53 PM

So I just had to share this story:

Singer Toni Braxton: God Gave My Son Autism Because I Had an Abortion Years Earlier.

The idea that Autism is some kind of divine retribution isn't widely held, is it?

Everything is Possible. But some things are more Probable than others. JEBAGEDDON 2016

Total posts: 7,445
Top