I do have a tendency to upload chapters immediately once it's done.
Hmm...if that's why my fanfic isn't getting much feedback, I'll be pretty depressed. XP I guess I should putting more effort to proofread next time around.
So far it's 6 chapters, and I got 8 reviews, 9 favorites, and 16 followers. Man, OC fic really doesn't get much attention. Either that, or my fanfic is just that bad. XP
Huh, it seems that with the last chapter, now my fanfic is 51k+ words long. Apparently, according to the filter, it makes it one of the longer fics. I find this rather amusing.
edited 18th Jan '14 10:27:49 PM by dRoy
Continuously reading, studying, and (hopefully) growing.That's a start.
Uploading directly after finishing a chapter = bad.
Writing is not a one night stand. You breath it. You learn it. You revise the crap out of it. If someone says otherwise, punch them in the goddamned face and do fifty more push-ups.
edited 19th Jan '14 1:09:15 PM by Soble
I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!I'm Not Perfect
is finished. In my honest opinion one of the best Weiss centric stories around.
That's part of the reason I took to writing my stories in sharply delineated scenes that I then group together and submit in bulk. That way, I can get each scene separately proof-read before I ship the final product. Only the very last scene of a 'chapter' will likely get unedited in my eagerness to post, but that still means most of the story is looked over.
Does anyone know any RWBY fic that features really cool fighting scenes?
I have yet to see a single fic that doesn't skimp over fighting scenes. I mean, come on, cool action scenes are one of the main attractions of the series, I think anyone writing a fic that isn't completely about humor or romance should put more effort into it.
Continuously reading, studying, and (hopefully) growing.I'm planning one for the climax of my fic, though we'll see if I can pull it off.
A corpse should be left well enough alone...I have so far three action scenes; ch.2, 4, 6. I'm somewhat proud of it.
I tried to write them as much as in the spirit of RWBY fighting scenes. The fight scene in ch.6 is, though, more of Person Of Interest and The Bourne Series.
Felt like some random writing.
"That's weird," said Ruby, "The reporters said the weather was going to be clear today! I don't want Crescent Rose getting cold..."
She cuddled the absurdly sized retractable sniper rifle/scythe combination thing close to her chest for just a moment, as one does.
Yang brushed some of her flowing blonde hair from her face before rolling her eyes, "Big deal. So long as it doesn't rain, we'll be fine! And besides, you made sure it's water-proof, right?"
"Easy for you to say!" fumed Weiss, "You can control fire, and Ruby has a hood! I, meanwhile, forgot to bring a coat, and my knees are getting cold! Let's just find your weird robot friend and get back to Beacon, alright? I don't really want to have to be out here more than necessary..."
Yang chuckled.
"Oh Weiss, you're not scared, are you? Of some Grimm?"
"No! I'm just smart enough to know that even Beowolves or Ursas are dangerous when you don't know where they are!"
"Heh, yeah, well... wait, are you implying you're smarter than me?"
"Pfft, of course not! I'm saying it, blondie."
"Why I oughta...!"
Ruby nervously looked between the two of them, her hands shaking with panic. What could she possibly do?! Her mind leapt through the options.
Fighting isn't good, except when it's Grimm. They're scary, and smell funny! Also, who do I side with?! Yang is my sister and is super awesome cool, but Weiss is technically my partner and she has a combat skirt, just like me! Besides, I'm the team leader! I've got to find a compromise and make everyone friends again! Who do I ask about this?! Oh, right, Blake! Blake, what do I do about this?
"Blake, what do I do about this?"
The fourth member of the group had been hiding in a nearby tree, mentally mapping out the surrounding area and trying to work out the most sensible route that the strange girl known as 'Penny' - if that was even her real name - would have gone. She turned to the other three and sighed as audibly as possible.
"I don't know, Ruby. You're in charge, remember?"
Well that wasn't much help. Hey, what's that?
edited 24th Jan '14 5:21:21 AM by Eventua
I've only read the first one and, aside from all the poor grammar and spelling mistakes, I think it's a solid fluffy work. But I am horribly easy-to-please in Will They or Won't They? scenarios.
"Evii is right though" -Saturn "I didn't know you were a bitch Evii." -Lior ValJust ran into two good oneshots:
Lottery
for some Team JNPR-focused humor.
Doki-Doki
for some Penny/Velvet shipping fluff.
I already added Lottery to the Fanfic Recs page; someone else should put up Doki-Doki there so my name isn't so many recs.
edited 25th Jan '14 10:11:55 PM by Insano
Allurand and surrounding world loading, 28%...Double post because I'm a sad human being.
So I've finished typing out the first draft of the introductory chapter for Pius, the leader of Team PIGS. The basic idea was that I'd type up a chapter for each member to introduce them just like with the trailers for Team RWBY.
In the northern coast of the city of Vale, there is a private clearing at the cliffs there. A forest green with life separated this clearing from the busy human world on the other side, and the noise from the city’s hustle-and-bustle was calmed by the breeze that seemed to be attracted to the area.
Some yards from the edge of the cliffs was a circular stone slab. It had been placed there a couple of years ago by the clearing’s most frequent, “most frequent” meaning “only” oftentimes, visitor, who did not want to burn the verdant grass there every time he arrived. A bench made its claim to fame as the only seat in the area for several miles, standing only a few yards away from the cliff’s edge that was marked by a small fence. The fence could do little from preventing visitors from falling into the water below, but it did its job as the marker of the cliff’s natural threshold.
A hum filled the air as Dust-fueled rocket fire scorched the air as its user made his way towards the clearing. He wore a complex set of machinery on his body: a pair of gauntlets that also covered his forearm, boots that went up to his knees for protection, and a chestplate that carried spools of strong metal wire on its back. All the components of this armor, collectively named Dies Irae, had glowing lines running across each part, and the color of the glow indicated the power of the Dust expended by the machines within the armor. While he was airborne, all five parts of the armor glowed a light orange to represent the element of fire, which propelled him across the sky and towards the clearing.
The young man halted his progress once his body hovered directly over the stone slab he had arranged to be laid there. Slowing ebbing the power released by his armor, he descended from the air until his armor stopped glowing altogether, then he landed soundly on the cold rock below without a dent to either the metal or the stone. After taking a moment to absorb the scene, the visitor removed his armor. The components of Dies Irae merged and folded together until a metal suitcase manifested as the compact version of the armor.
The melancholy visitor of this clearing was Pius Ashen-Nobel, orphan of the Ashen family and the first of four adopted children of the Nobel family. He was only a few months older than seventeen years of age, a young man aspiring to become a Huntsman. He bore the same blond hair as his father, as well as most of his face, but he had his mother’s ash-gray eyes, those eyes that burned their gaze into everything they looked upon, whether for analysis, affection, or annihilation. He had a light tan over his fair skin; his siblings made sure that he went outside often, as did his visits to the clearing. His form was healthy, for his siblings and his mission made sure that he exercised often.
Pius had grown into his wealth well, with little of the spoiling that could be expected from one of his upbringing. He did have a taste for the finer things in life, such as the clothes he was wearing, the food he ate, and the books he read, but the presence of three extroverted siblings kept Pius grounded to the world around him. He enjoyed tinkering with machines, as Dies Irae would gladly prove; he never disdained anyone of lower status than himself, he’d always seen such notions as superficial; and he kept some love in his life that many feared had been lost in the fire that claimed his parents: the love he shared with his new parents and his siblings was a bond neither party could break.
His outfit was formal compared to the clothing most people his age would wear. If someone was watching the clearing when Pius arrived and removed Dies Irae from his body, then he or she would see the young Nobel wearing his signature glasses, with a gray waistcoat over a white long-sleeved, button-up shirt, with gray suit pants and black dress shoes to complete his outfit. The lack of a jacket and tie indicated that Pius wasn't fully comfortable with the formal ensemble he was given, but he still had style preferences that leaned towards the more formal side of clothing.
The youth sighed as he breathed the free air of the clearing before making his way towards the lonely bench that beckoned his company. The gray-eyed blonde took his seat on the left end of the the bench and placed Dies Irae on the grass. These visits to the clearing were part of his monthly routine. At the last day of each month, Pius would “visit his parents," as he told everyone who asked where he disappeared to on these days, and he would just tell the coast and the grass and clouds and the sky all about the significant and interesting things from that month. He had already been hard at work preparing his things and getting his siblings off their asses to do their own preparations, but even the stoic leader of the Nobel siblings needed time away from his family. It would be a week before the Nobels would be shipped off to Beacon Academy, and Pius wanted to take this day off from his preparations for his first year at Beacon.
“Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad,” Pius began, looking up at the pristine white clouds overhead. When he spoke in this clearing, the tone of his voice took on a feeling of relaxation, affection, and sincerity that no one outside of his family even knew could be uttered from his mouth. His curt and frank voice spoke with a tenderness and respect that no one could expect from the sarcastic and bitter mask he put on in public. “So I had a dream this month. Don’t worry, it wasn’t about the crash again.” The Ashen’s son then adopted an expression of curiosity and worry.
“Though that might be why it’s bothering me so much.”
He closed his eyes as an imperfect memory returned a half-remembered dream, and the world around him faded away.
Pius stood on the roof of a building, Dies Irae glowing quietly with its default gray light. Orange and yellow danced in his eyes as he stared at the wreckage below. A flash of black had fled the scene, and once again he could not make out what it really was. He’d always hoped that maybe, deep in the dark corners of his memory that let the light of dreams shine on them, he had remembered, maybe even seen, the monster that took his parents away from him.
He watched as police and firemen arrived at the scene and began pulling a young boy out of the most damaged car. The aforementioned vehicle had fallen over on its side, and fire had begun eating at it. The child stank of smoke and smelled of blood, and a part of him had been touched by the flames. Pius couldn’t take his eyes off of the boy; after all, he too was Pius Ashen. They shared the same mark from that day, marring his side and mocking his loss. It had been ten years, and yet the young man and the boy could never forget what happened that day. Why couldn’t they remember what they wanted to? All that Pius could remember was the screaming, and that the cacophony came from his own throat.
“NO! NO! MOM! DAD! LET ME GO!” He closed his eyes, hoping in vain that his ears would do the same.
“But don’t worry. That wasn’t what the dream was about. Not this time.”
He opened his eyes again, and stood on white. Confused, his gray eyes searched the area. He was standing at his parents’ clearing, which was covered in winter snow. The shattered moon of Remnant hung over the sky like some broken eye, vainly trying to comprehend the affairs of the mortals below as it provided a light that paled before the Sun’s.
“I’m here, and it’s wintertime. But I’m not alone this time. She’s here too.”
Pius saw her standing there on the slab where he would land. The snow there was melted in the center, so Pius concluded that he had come here of his own will. The question as to where the girl came from was the new source of puzzlement for the Nobel. He walked toward her, hoping to say something before she disappeared. He did not realize he was dreaming.
“I can’t remember what she looked like, or what her name was. She just...was. It was like a blanket of snow had laid itself over my memory, erasing the details but leaving the outline intact. We were there-or here, as it were-by our own choosing.”
She ran into the woods, away from his extended hand. Pius realized that he was still wearing Dies Irae, glowing orange with heat, but perhaps that was because it was cold that night. He was wearing his longcoat, having removed it from Dies Irae’s suitcase form when he had arrived, or so he concluded.
“I don’t know why she’s running. Maybe I scared her—and I know what you’re thinking, Dad. “Nothing new.” Haha, funny, get over that joke. M-maybe we were arguing, or she didn’t think that I would discover her. But it doesn’t matter. At that moment, I just knew that I had to reach her. I felt like I was going to lose something important if I didn’t. Geez, I wish I could remember her. When I think of her, all I see is white and I don’t know why.”
He ran after the girl, shouting after her footsteps over the snow. Maybe he was calling her name, or maybe he was saying something to her, trying to explain himself to solve an argument Pius couldn’t remember. The trees were silent witnesses to the scene, watching without comment as the two mortals passed by, leaving behind footprints that would fade with the wind.
“We’re running and running until we come into another clearing in the forest. But I’ve checked the forest; this clearing doesn’t exist in real life. And that doesn’t matter, because I’m angry when I see why we’ve stopped.”
Grimm. Those filthy monsters that stole Pius’ parents, and the parents of many children like him, surrounded the pair as they stood in the center of the clearing. They were many of many kinds: Beowolves, Boarbatusks, Ursa, King Tajitus, and Deathstalkers were only a sample of the species that made their way towards the couple as more Grimm circled overhead.
“There was nowhere to go, and I couldn’t leave her behind. She and I...had some sort of bond, I guess. And I wouldn’t leave her to those beasts even if we didn’t have one. Never.”
The chaos and din of battle erupted as the two fought for their lives. Pius remembered releasing his blades, cutting through the Grimm’s bodies like the trash they were. His claws flew out to attach themselves onto the animals and bring them closer, so that he could finish them off with his own hands. Dies Irae changed colors as its master destroyed the monsters as he wished.
Orange followed fire, burning an Ursa into ashes. Spikes of ice shot out of the snow another’s belly when his armor glowed blue. A young Nevermore was plucked out of the sky and thrown against the ground by a pillar of water as indigo glowed. A Deathstalker’s armor and flesh melted away when violet light flashed from Pius’ chestplate. A King Tajitu was cut into pieces by a blade of wind as the Nobel’s armor lights matched his gray eyes. Lightning jumped its way through a dozen Beowolves and fried each one when those lights matched his blonde hair. Boarbatusks were torn to pieces when thorny vines appeared from the ground to pull them apart as green light shone into the night, mocking the trees with what they had lost. Pillars of earth threw a Kiungo into the air and became spikes when it returned to the ground as an unusual brown glow pierced through the air. A Bulwark was blinded by light as one gauntlet glowed white, before its vulnerable neck failed to keep its head on its shoulders when confronted by a metal edge. Animal instinct gave the Grimm warning when Pius sent them flying with punches and kicks as his armor’s color matched their blood-red eyes. A mass of Grimm was forcibly conglomerated into a small singularity as gravity changed at Pius’ will as he raised a hand, its glow matching the blackness of space. His silver blades flew through the air, cutting veins and amputating at will before returning to their mounts on the gauntlets, whose lights matched their color.
“We were doing everything we could to keep them back, but there were so many. She was strong, too. I remember that she had a weapon of her, one that worked like my armor, but I don’t remember how she fought or what she fought with. She was powerful and graceful at the same time, not like me. Graceful's never been my thing.”
He heard a scream. She was disarmed by a Boarbatusk, and now a Beowolf was dragging her back into the woods, where its brethren awaited their meal.
“I forgot about the Grimm, and I just ran for her. Nothing else mattered at that moment; I needed her.”
He knocks aside an Ursa with a red right gauntlet, flips over a Deathstalker, and shoves through another pack of Beowolves with a rocky plow raised before him. But it is not enough.
He too is screaming.
“I’m cutting, punching, kicking, doing everything I can to get to her. But they’re all getting in my way, and she’s getting closer to the forest.”
Claws and fangs dent his armor and cut through clothes—-blood is drawn—-
“By the time I’ve realized it, that we couldn’t both get out of the woods alive, there’s nothing I can do so that she’s the survivor.”
He has no more Dust—-nature’s wrath is nothing against the sea of monsters drowning him—-he is still fighting, reaching for her—-
“They’re holding me back, dragging me into their own little horde to be eaten.”
Her shrieking is unbearable—-so is his crying—-
“I can barely see her through the mass of Grimm. They're everywhere, damaging my armor, making my blades and claws useless.”
He can see it—-an Ursa opening its maw to receive her—-he can smell the Beowolves’ breath as they prepare to do the same for him.
“It’s horrifying, loud, maddening, all at the same time. All the work, the effort I’ve put into killing Grimm, avenging you two, and it falls short that night.”
The Ursa’s mouth begins to fall on her neck—-the Beowolves’ fangs are about to sink into his body, his armor useless—-
“And then—-”
Blackness. Then shapes reappear as Pius opens his eyes and sits up on his bed.
“I wake up.”
The heir of two families becomes silent once more. He sits on the bench, absentmindedly wiping tears he didn’t realize were there as they slid down his face and settled on his cheeks like vagrants. The wind blows over the green grass, and little waves crash into the cliff bottom below as he tries to listen for his parents’ voices.
As usual, they never come.
What do you think?
edited 25th Jan '14 11:27:48 PM by Insano
Allurand and surrounding world loading, 28%...Well, I've been writing my self insertion fanfic for about a month, and I want to see what people think.
If it's well liked, I'd really like to see it in the Fan Fic Recs page.
Also, a TV Tropes page is currently in working phase. If you want, kindly help me out by adding to it here
.
edited 1st Feb '14 3:53:57 PM by Trogdor7620
There are only two things in my life that I depend on: video games and TV Tropes.I was a bit lacking in inspiration for a fic I want to write. So tonight I watched The Man with the Iron Fists. Inspiration restored, recommend me some more films with crazy awesome fight scenes.
You've lost. You're the Bomb Squad after the bomb's gone off. I'm the blast ongoing.Ong Bak, a Thailand martial arts movie starring Tony Ja. Or The Raid: Redemption, an Indonesian martial arts movie. Both have kick ass protagonists and insane ass kicking sequences. You will not be disappointed
A stranger is like the shadows.It is so common to the world everyone will just ignore them.If you're looking for inspiration through games, i'd recommend the No More Heroes series, with it's insane weapons and assassins. It even had a Sniper Rifle scythe like Ruby. Except in No More Heroes, it had two edges, and the person dual wielded them. I'd also recommend anything by Platinum Games, particularly Bayonetta and Metal Gear Rising Revengeance. The latter has their own crazy weapons and also the music themed fights.
A corpse should be left well enough alone...Don't forget Mad World or Anarchy Reigns; both games have different stories, but three characters from Mad World were reused for the last one.
Jack Cayman, protagonist for both games, has a mechanical right arm that can turn into a chainsaw. In Mad World, it has a single blade. Anarchy Reigns upgraded it into having TWO. And boy, are they HUGE.
Not only that, many characters in both game has crazy weapons and they all kick ass.
A stranger is like the shadows.It is so common to the world everyone will just ignore them.I totally support Anarchy Reigns as an inspiration but something to note is that its tone is much darker than RWBY's.
"Evii is right though" -Saturn "I didn't know you were a bitch Evii." -Lior ValIndeed it is a dark game. But in the end, it just got a bit brighter for the heroes there.
And I just checked on FF; not a single Anarchy Reigns fanfic, even the crossovers. This is terrible.
That game has so much potential, if only SEGA USA didn't botch up the release date. You know what, I'm willing to make a crossover of AR with RWBY one day, any ideas how to make it work?
A stranger is like the shadows.It is so common to the world everyone will just ignore them.Anarchy Reigns had a pretty empty world IIRC; Altambra, a city where [[inserttitlehere]]. A bunch of badass bounty hunters gather, one's looking for his daughter's killer, the other's doing the same but trying to rescue the killer. Bayonetta exists in this universe as a guest fighter and she's magical, so... RWBY characters could be worked in. The open-endedness of the game opens a spot for several characters to walk in unannounced. Provided they've got some swagger and a pimpin' theme song
.
This is a world with people who wield double-bladed chainsaws, cybernetic legs that double as revolvers, ninjas that stalk the city with optic camaflouge; where random people can pull switches that causes earthquakes. Where giant sea monsters could rip apart a shipping dock at a moment's notice. Where the police are basically security robots guided by cyborg officers.
Torchwick and Cinder have the best chances since we know Roman's more than willing to shoot a teenage girl and cackle about it immediately after; they're both criminals. Ruby and her team mates would be hilariously out of place though, if left to their canon selves.
edited 4th Feb '14 8:00:55 AM by FOFD
I remember that trailer! Even their weapons have names, just like in RWBY XD
Not to mention it's a Crapsack World. War has polluted the world severely and nasty mutants roamed the whole place (unlike the ones from X-Men, they're all giant hulking lizard men. They're also bioweapons. Also they can get bigger and nastier than usual, a berserker form of sorts) The world is so messed up most people traded their limbs for cybernetics just to survive.
Team RWBY (and maybe JNPR too) need to do a LOT of things to make it brighter, even if it's just as bright as a dim candle.
Anyway, if following the stories of Anarchy Reigns, there's two side; Black (Jack Cayman's POV) and White (Leonhardt Victorion's POV) which culminates (is that the right word?) with the two of them facing off and eventually teaming up to fight Max and that Russian douche in the Red Side.
I could see Ruby & Yang joining Jack, while Blake & Weiss with Leo. Although, gotta go with the assigned teammates for this one. Weiss nagging Jack is a too funny image to ignore. Also Blacker Baron hitting on Yang, with obvious results
But that's what happens if team RWBY enters the world of AR, what about the other way around?
edited 4th Feb '14 8:40:08 AM by strangerthenever
A stranger is like the shadows.It is so common to the world everyone will just ignore them.

I believe there's beta readers on FF.net.
"Evii is right though" -Saturn "I didn't know you were a bitch Evii." -Lior Val