No, we are not doing that!
Waiter, this letter says that you shouldn’t be here! It’s Opposite Day!
So grab a stick and take a swing! Do the Piñata thing!The soup needed it or else it'd have an awful reaction to all the sugar in the soup.
Waiter! My soup tastes sour! I literally cannot make out with a television the fuck
That's because it's lemon soup, sir or madam.
WAITER! Some strange man is dressed as the lorax and singing "Let it Grow!"
I'm Quite BattyWe've had an infestation of them as of late. It seems like they've found a Shrink Ray. We will escort out at once... after we restore her to her original size, of course.
Waiter! There are Originium flakes in my soup! "An elegant weapon for a more civilized time, eh? Well, guess what? Times have changed!"
oh that's some profitable shit let it grow in the soup
Waiter! My soup is screaming out a portal to some parallel thread or universe!
I shall now make the obligatory "canon event" comment.
WAITER! My soup is....just soup. Plain ol' chicken and dumplings. Do you by chance have any green space rocks, ancient yet advanced extraterrestrial technology or extreme science chemicals I can use to...."spice" it up?
I'm Quite BattyNo.
Waiter! What did you put in my soup?! A Murder of Crows is gathering outside the restaurant window and staring very intently at it!
Edited by Nejiiuyn on Sep 8th 2025 at 4:49:42 AM
My treasure? If you want it, you can have it! Search for it! I left in that place!huh? huh? huh? Nothing! Totally nothing! The crows probably just starve for soup today, totally!
WAITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! IF YOU DON'T GIMME THE SOUP ON TIME I'M PUTTING YOU ON ICE! IT'S BEEN 30 MINUTES!
Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP categoryWe'll break out the dice and get rid of it, dear patron!
Waiter! There is a Visible Boom Mic in my soup! Currently Reading: N/A
We'll edit it out in post.
Waiter! There's three dollars and fifty cents in my soup!
'Cos ya can't, ya won't and ya don't stop, Ice Cream Man, come and rock the sure shotThat’s your change bub.
Waiter! A Pokémon and a Digimon are battling inside my soup! Who do you think will win?
My treasure? If you want it, you can have it! Search for it! I left in that place!WAITER! Why does my soup have a ponderous and positively PREPOSTEROUS amount of anime and manga in it?
I'm Quite BattyThat's weaboo soup! Want another flavor of -boo?
(gets whispered by another waiter)
Wait no that's just the japanese media nerd-flavored soup.
waiter my soup's fuckin injured
Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category....HOW ON EARTH DID IT MANAGE TO DO THAT?!?!!?!
Anyways, WAITER! This soup looks and tastes like it was made by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu. Which is why I can now taste sound and hear colrororororororoejewijrwihjweifwheoifwehfoiwehfoweiuewiuo(foams rainbows at the mouth...)
I'm Quite BattyGoddammit, who added Skittles to the soup?!
WAITERRRR! There's a vinyl record in my soup!
'Cos ya can't, ya won't and ya don't stop, Ice Cream Man, come and rock the sure shotLet the soup jam out a bit!
WAITER! There is a living mass of ferrofluid in my soup! "Enumeration is a last resort... But sometimes, it can work a miracle."

Because Everythings Better With Dinosaurs allegedly.
Waiter! Why does everyone always talk about the awesomeness and coolness of the Dinosaurs and their Bird descendants, yet no one ever talks about how amazing and awesome Pterosaurs are! Especially when Pterosaurs were the best of both worlds being cool prehistoric reptiles like the Dinosaurs, could fly like the Birds, and had even better adaptions for flight than Birds do!
Edited by Nejiiuyn on Sep 6th 2025 at 7:16:31 AM
My treasure? If you want it, you can have it! Search for it! I left in that place!