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Waiter! There is a [insert here] in my soup!

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SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#5626: Aug 31st 2025 at 6:47:37 AM

No. (Evil Laugh)


Waiter I'm scared - my soup is having a crashout what do i do

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
Nejiiuyn Kaiser der Anonymität from The Mysterious Beyond Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Kaiser der Anonymität
#5627: Aug 31st 2025 at 2:04:51 PM

Man up and Face Your Fears son!


Waiter! There's a letter in my soup!

Let's see here.

(Reads Letter aloud)

"Greetings, You are hereby ordered for induction into the Armed Forces..."

Gadzooks! I've been Drafted!!

Edited by Nejiiuyn on Aug 31st 2025 at 8:31:49 AM

My treasure? If you want it, you can have it! Search for it! I left in that place!
skan123 Since: Aug, 2018
#5628: Sep 1st 2025 at 3:45:32 PM

Pack up; the military's coming in five minutes.


Waiter! Urusla is in my soup!

DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Is a Nocturnal Mammal
#5629: Sep 1st 2025 at 6:57:20 PM

Hold on, let me go get the trident.....

WAITER! I'd like to have a -15,000 year old vintage of Lascaux Pinot to compliment my mammoth and bison stew.

Edited by DorkySpaz on Sep 1st 2025 at 8:57:44 AM

I'm Quite Batty
SoaringEagle A figment of your imagination from A dream you had (Troper Youngling) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
A figment of your imagination
#5630: Sep 1st 2025 at 9:16:28 PM

give me a few years, i’ll be riiiiiight back


waiter! a man drank 5 gallons of my soup! this is what happened to his brain!

hit me up on MSN messenger! ;D
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#5631: Sep 1st 2025 at 10:19:29 PM

I have seen this shit ONE THOUSAND TIMES i am too tired and apathetic to have my attention fazed by this shit now. Go order a new batch!


Uh.

Waiter?

There's a massive number of human arms coming out of my soup...help?

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Is a Nocturnal Mammal
#5632: Sep 1st 2025 at 11:29:38 PM

Charges up proton pack "All right everybody! Hands up!"

WAITER! Heave ho for rock and stone!

Edited by DorkySpaz on Sep 1st 2025 at 1:29:55 PM

I'm Quite Batty
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#5633: Sep 2nd 2025 at 3:08:46 PM

Sir, this is a restaurant, not a mine.


Waiter, there's a submarine in my soup!

For every low there is a high.
DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
YourEternalTroper The Overlord of the Opera, Rin Penhorse from Tracen Academy (Uma Earth) Since: Oct, 2015 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
The Overlord of the Opera, Rin Penhorse
#5635: Sep 3rd 2025 at 8:00:36 PM

Sorry, we only serve soup here. You may leave now.


Waiter! There is an alien egg in my soup!

The stage is my opera! The race is my play! This performance is my drama! I am...T.M. Opera O!
DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Is a Nocturnal Mammal
#5636: Sep 4th 2025 at 10:38:01 PM

Don't worry, we've planned for contingencies such as this....activates flamethrower

WAITER! This soup pulls down my pants and humiliates me.

I'm Quite Batty
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#5637: Sep 5th 2025 at 3:44:46 AM

I think we added a bit too much jerky in your soup. You'll get a refund and a free naked grandma. Have fun with her.


Waiter, why is my soup pie-flavored?

Edited by pyromancingsandwich on Sep 5th 2025 at 6:45:27 PM

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#5638: Sep 5th 2025 at 3:56:15 AM

cue the asdfmovie2 theme


Waiter, are you... tampering with TNP's soup?

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
alateli " oh , uh .. 'blanket'." from Living Room (Apprentice) Relationship Status: Brewing the love potion
" oh , uh .. 'blanket'."
#5639: Sep 5th 2025 at 5:22:04 AM

Tampering is a strong word. They won't notice! What, you add a little bit of insect killer to their and suddenly YOU'RE the bad guy?


Waiter, when I try to eat my soup I get an error message..

Well if it isn't my favorite human ..!
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Is a Nocturnal Mammal
#5641: Sep 5th 2025 at 11:07:39 AM

Oh ''goody'', now we have to deal with a bunch of meme-addled tweens running around this restaurant.

WAITER! My soup is gazing at me in a creepy, almost...predatory manner.

Edited by DorkySpaz on Sep 5th 2025 at 1:07:59 PM

I'm Quite Batty
HitThemWithTheRAHHH Since: Sep, 2025
#5642: Sep 5th 2025 at 11:25:12 AM

Here's some pepper spray in case it tries to make unwanted advances.


Waiter, the soup is fine but you look like a wanted criminal... Wait, aren't you Blase Son Of A Gun 1988!?

Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#5643: Sep 5th 2025 at 11:48:33 AM

Oh, sorry, no I'm not, I just came in with my hair greased up for once. Just came from my other job at the car shop.

That's a customer who hasn't been here in some time... wonder how they're doing.


Waiter, there are chunks of grilled cheese sandwich in my soup!

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#5644: Sep 5th 2025 at 11:57:08 AM

Sorry, sir. That was a mistake - the grilled cheese sandwich was meant to be for dipping, not that.


Waiter, there's a tricycle in my soup!

For every low there is a high.
DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Is a Nocturnal Mammal
#5645: Sep 5th 2025 at 12:35:55 PM

I think someone wants to play with you....

WAITER! This isn't soup! It's a Class 5 Free Roaming Vapor! A REAL nasty one, too!

I'm Quite Batty
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#5646: Sep 5th 2025 at 12:37:26 PM

And your bill will be $1000.


Waiter, how crazy do you think this next soup can be?

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
TheShattered0513 RC-1138: Boss from Wherever duty calls. (Greenhorn) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
RC-1138: Boss
#5647: Sep 5th 2025 at 1:27:54 PM

That all depends on how wild the imaginations of our chefs are.


Waiter! There are blamite shards in my soup!

"An elegant weapon for a more civilized time, eh? Well, guess what? Times have changed!"
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#5648: Sep 5th 2025 at 7:33:01 PM

Let me get those out for yo-(blows up).


Waiter! There is a Deleted Scene in my soup!

Currently Reading: N/A
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#5649: Sep 5th 2025 at 7:40:04 PM

Be grateful you got the Hilarious Outtakes instead of… that stuff.

——

WAITER! Why is there a parking lot in my soup?!

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
DorkySpaz Is a Nocturnal Mammal (Ancient one) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Is a Nocturnal Mammal
#5650: Sep 5th 2025 at 9:56:36 PM

We thought we could make extra money with valet parking....for microbes.

WAITER! Why are there dinosaurs in my soup, and why are they laughing at me for liking prehistoric mammals?

I'm Quite Batty

Total posts: 5,756
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