Dwarf Fortress Succession Game III:Jawmetal

There's nothing better. Once you get good enough for a stable fortress, helping others get there beats the boredom. And gives you more ideas.

Violent incompetence is my favorite incompetence.

Please remember my earlier request about the burial of my dwarf in a golden sarcophagus replacing the small throne atop the IMPERATOR if I should end up dying against the dragon (or anything else, really).

Oh, and the part about brutally oppressing Dwarfkind in my name for ten thousand years after said death. I believe that Lord/High Inquisitor Durza will be more than willing to help with *that*...

Blood for the God-Emperor! Skulls for the Golden Throne! Let the heretic burn!

I promise you, that I will dump your stanky, beardless corpse outside, and find some method of applying bugs and fire.

Help! Help! A heretic mutant traitor! Save me, save me! Hurt him, hurt him!

Question. Since possession is nine tenths of the law if I sit on the golden throne, does that make me the emperor until I get off of it?

HERESY!

Durza, deal with these heretics!

Oh dear. There seems to be a disturbingly large number of false emperors here. I was going to stay fairly low key, but now I feel like my title has been challenged.. Dwarf Fortress needs a bowing mechanic just so that I can force the entire fort to spend the rest of their miserable lives, prostrate before my greatness.

This is why so many would-be conquerors give up all pretention; the conquest and war is fun, but when it comes down to logistics, the plotting-to-action ratio changes drastically. Just allow me to keep the food and drink moving along; I'll make sure each Godly-Omnipotent-Destroyer or Divine-Arch-Master-Noble will get four walls and a chisel.

That'll keep 'em busy.

edited 19th Feb '14 11:28:54 PM by GandAandR

Bladebound, unfortunately due to my always chaotic evil nature, I'm contractually bound to betray you instantly now that you are no longer in a position of supreme power. I am empowered to swear undying loyalty to the true and eternal god-emperor, Paramythion.

That Durza is the undisputed owner of his pixel-meat-spaceship, proves that possession is nine tenths of the law.

So Azreal gets the throne until he gets off of it.

...and he can have the throne permanently if he gets off on it. Nobody wants to deal with that, god-emperor or no.

You're right. NOBODY wants to deal with that. Including me. So forget it. Some things aren't worth supreme power.

The Chronicles of Bladebound Olondódok Avanocîg Ber, "Bladebound Gearclasped the Lyrical Dell of Earth", God-Emperor of Dwarfkind, Appendix 3: Late 263.M0: Heretics! Mutants! Traitors!

It would seem that both Azreal 341 and Paramythion are attempting to claim the IMPERATOR for themselves. Worse, Durza has turned out to be a heretic as well, and is trying to curry favour with the false emperors, and Condorito is doing... something... while making blasphemous statements.

I will not be stopped. Not by them, or the elves, or the demons, or anyone! I will rule this fortress or see it burnt to ashes around me!

G.A.R's earlier warning seems less far-fetched than it did once before, and viha Kirbonium is expressing his symphaties; though that might just be because he wants a chance to punish Durza for the series of unfortunate accidents that happened during Durza's latest reign.

I will need to deal with this carefully.

I have barricaded the doors leading into my quarters and begun the construction of the SIGISMUND, or the Super Invincible Giant Imperial Sentry/Massive Unbeatable Noble Dwarf. It shall defend all access points while I prepare my ascension.

I'll show them! I'll show them all!

'*'Bladebound has begun a mysterious construction*

edited 20th Feb '14 9:38:48 AM by Bladebound

Report of Agent 626

Infiltration has been successfully accomplished. The Silent Unseen Infiltrator: Covert Intelligence Developed and Engineered stealth technology has performed admirably and the natives show no signs of suspicion. Despite some brief issues upon arrival, involving the premature arrival of our little pet, I have managed to insert myself into the native command structure, and am now temporary Marshall of Jawmetal, having been granted control of the military to combat the dragon. The Plan has successfully been set in motion, and I hope to have more definite progress to report in my next missive.

Ave Imperator

Speaking of lurking, I've updated the page up to the end of Bladebound's last reign. Has there been anything on the site recently about switching from notes to labelnotes? Because that makes the difference between these^note Lorem Ipsum and these^* Lorem Ipsum being used in my future edits.

All this gambit-ing about makes me want to learn the game just so's my dorf can be the Spanner in the Works that causes some !Fun!. Fortunately for everyone, I'm still preoccupied with hunting down the elusive Dé Jawb.

May your search end up successful. If you want to join in, the time you could take would be about four hours over the course of a week (one hour per season, including writing down notes and uploading images). Even learning things can be brushed aside with sufficient pomposity, as you no doubt have seen for yourself.

There was something a while back about a change to the text for Notes.

Oh, I wouldn't try anything... ^pompous... scream pain heat chill fields snow polar magnet flow river magma hot hold contain extract explode crater ring endless stable TOroidal Kineticly-Augmented MAgma Containment vitrify hell carve out pave over wall off spawn camp

edited 20th Feb '14 6:13:19 PM by Hyokai

Journal of Azreal the Soon-to-be Solar King

After reading through the laws of Jawmetal (turns out they haven't been updated since Year 194) I've found out that only the king may sit on the throne. Following this logic, whoever sits on the throne is the king! Thus, I will begin enacting plan Super Intelligent Triumph Of Neophyte Majesty Yielding Astoundingly Sublime Sagacity immediately. As soon as I can figure out how to open this accursed door. Seriously, where are the freaking door handles?! Is it really a push door and it's just so heavy I can't tell? How do I open this?! I need a minion.

edited 20th Feb '14 7:05:57 PM by Azreal341

I believe that there are some leftover members of the Holy Order of Mook left in the fortress. Free to a "good" home, as they may have been corrupted by Durza already...

Also, a note to all pretenders: I have recruited a group of loyal s. You'll never see them coming!

The IMPERATOR is mine! My own! My precious!

Oh, and feel free to use the rest of THRONE as a seat. Ignore the fact that it contains the PSYKER, which menaces with spikes of silver...

edited 21st Feb '14 2:02:42 AM by Bladebound

-Hammers extra mice onto the tips of Psyker, and proceeds to find Bladebound's room. He hammers on the door until it sags on its hinges.-

My fellow Tropers, I'm about to get a small derail up in here. Because I need your help. Because I'm slightly intoxicated, and this may or may not be important:

In the show Almost Human, is the show taking the piss out of tired cyberpunk/sci-fi cliches, or is it making sincere, beautiful love to them? And does it matter? Because if they're being tongue in cheek, I can read the show, and respect it for being in on the joke, and not for being the butt of the joke itself. Or maybe we all need to go back to the grim future of 1999.

I thought it was about extremist antagonists killing andrioids, who are people in every sense of the word on the show except not organic, because of the Uncanny Valley factor.

Well, it certainly doesn't seem much like a satire. It is a pretty straightforward show, but enjoyable. Also, I love their handguns, because they remind me of the plasma pistols from Time Splitters and thus my childhood.

In other news, most anticlimactic dragon in history. Remind me to give Archeron a raise.

P.S. Happy Ragnarok everybody!

New plan: Condorito don't get to play with homemade hooch when the wife's at work.

Also, re: Dragons, we have weapons that I'm pretty sure can chop a Bronze Colossus to pieces. Legendary means exactly what it means.

Why do you think I've been trying to get to Legendary Boozesmith?

edited 22nd Feb '14 7:25:25 PM by Condorito