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Laconic Description Improvement

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For a list of bad laconics, see Sandbox.Pages Needing Better Laconics.

For generally accepted guidelines for laconics, see Sandbox.Laconic Wiki Template.


Today I found out an interesting fact from troper Ironeye:

Don't ever make the mistake of using the Laconic version as the canonical trope meaning—the laconics are often written by people who don't actually understand the drop. In this case, the laconic only corresponds to one possible cause of Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy.

The Laconic Description for DIAA states as follows:

The thing is, these descriptions are supposed to make it easier to understand what the page is about. If they can't be accurate as well as short and sweet, then there's a problem.

So for starters, what would be a better description for DIAA?

Edited by MacronNotes on Jan 29th 2023 at 6:23:45 AM

WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#1901: Oct 8th 2022 at 10:14:16 AM

So, Laconic.Bratty Teenage Daughter was recent changed from...

"A selfish, whiny, demanding and ungrateful teenage girl."

to:

"A selfish, whiny, demanding and ungrateful adolescent girl."

And, uh... "teenage" is literally in the title, so this change is nonsensical to me.

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
wingedcatgirl mys. minty from the silly dimension from lurking (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Oh my word! I'm gay!
mys. minty from the silly dimension
#1902: Oct 8th 2022 at 10:36:42 AM

On the one hand, repeating the trope's title doesn't really give more information.

On the other, "teenage" and "adolescent" aren't synonymous.

Suddenly I'm... still rotating Fallen London in my mind even though I've stopped actively playing it.
WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#1903: Oct 8th 2022 at 10:38:52 AM

I mean, yeah that laconic is pretty superfluous either way... but the new version just feels inaccurate.

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
Rhino8888 from Spain Since: Mar, 2020
#1904: Oct 9th 2022 at 12:17:37 PM

The We Bare Bears laconic:

2010's Ed, Edd n Eddy with bears, but with little to no scams and more feels.

Apart from being a Recycled IN SPACE! (it literally potholes to it), I’m sure the shows are barely alike, it literally says that there is little to no scams in We Bare Bears and scams is one of the main things the main characters do in Ed, Edd n Eddy.

themayorofsimpleton Short-Term Projects Herald | he/him from the Island of Koridai (Captain) Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
Short-Term Projects Herald | he/him
#1905: Oct 9th 2022 at 5:35:25 PM

Found Laconic.Personal Dictionary through an ATT, and I don't think it describes the trope well. The Laconic:

"Well, I say 'inconceivable' means 'uh-oh!'"

What would make a good replacement?

Works That Require Cleanup of Complaining | Troper Wall
Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1906: Oct 9th 2022 at 5:41:34 PM

[up][up] For that, How does this sound.

A Slice of Life cartoon involving 3 bears living in the city.

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1907: Oct 9th 2022 at 5:59:32 PM

[up][up]Maybe something like, "Acting like a word means something it isn't defined as."

[up]It looks nice to me[tup].

WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#1908: Oct 12th 2022 at 7:31:38 PM

I don't like Laconic.Poster Gallery Bedroom. This trope isn't just "has a lot of posters" it's about bedroom decorations (with an emphasis on posters, but not just) that show characterization.

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1909: Oct 12th 2022 at 8:25:31 PM

[up] How about this

A Character with a lot of memorabilia in their bedroom, as to indicate their personality

Edited by Ayumi-chan on Oct 12th 2022 at 11:25:55 PM

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#1910: Oct 12th 2022 at 8:26:13 PM

That's a little redundant (you don't need the "in their bedroom" part), but otherwise works.

Edit: Never mind, lol. Yeah that's better.

Edited by WarJay77 on Oct 12th 2022 at 11:26:30 AM

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1911: Oct 12th 2022 at 8:57:03 PM

[up] DONE!

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1912: Oct 12th 2022 at 9:14:51 PM

[up](x3) Apart from the capitalization error (I fixed it when I edited the page), I feel it's good[tup].

Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1913: Oct 12th 2022 at 9:38:22 PM

Here are some more laconics need fixing, via the X Meets Y wicks. Theres a lot, so I'll focus on a five of them.

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1914: Oct 13th 2022 at 8:15:23 PM

Do you all think the Oh, Crap! pothole in Laconic.This Is Gonna Suck is unneeded? I'm just wondering because I'm uncertain if I should delete it or not.

Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1915: Oct 13th 2022 at 10:50:29 PM

[up] I think it can be deleted, it’s not really necessary.

What do you think about [up][up]

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1916: Oct 14th 2022 at 2:25:41 PM

[up]Thanks. As for those Laconics, I agree those are pretty bad, so I'd like to give my suggestions for replacements. EDIT: I would like to hear your thoughts on them.

For Laconic.Avenue Q:

A group of puppet friends attempt to make their dreams realities in New York.

Laconic.Apex Legends:

A Battle Royale Game involving criminals, pioneers, and explorers competing in a Blood Sport.

Laconic.Azur Lane:

A Commander maintains a shipgirl fleet while fighting a mysterious race and other nations.

Laconic.Code Vein:

A member of a hidden, vampiric society explores a post-apocalyptic world with his/her allies.

Laconic.Destroy All Humans:

A sadistic grey confronts various issues while invading Earth to harvest human brainstems.

Edited by RandomTroper123 on Oct 14th 2022 at 3:01:31 AM

Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1917: Oct 14th 2022 at 7:02:52 PM

Awesome! I’ll put those in.

Edit: Done!

Edited by Ayumi-chan on Oct 14th 2022 at 10:09:44 PM

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1919: Oct 15th 2022 at 3:26:23 AM

Found these laconics

Airplane!

Zero Hour! (1957)

Airplane! played completely straight.

Any replacements?

Edited by Ayumi-chan on Oct 15th 2022 at 6:26:35 PM

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1920: Oct 15th 2022 at 8:19:58 PM

Like the others you brought up (or at least those that are coming to mind rn), I feel those Laconics are bad. Here's my first suggestion for a rewrite, namely for Airplane!:

A comedy involving a former military pilot having to reconcile with his lover and overcome his traumas to fly a commercial aeroplane.
As for Laconic.Zero Hour 1957:
A Disaster Movie starring a guilt-ridden pilot who has to fly a cross-Canada flight.

I'm not very sure about Laconic.Fridge Horror. Does anyone have any suggestions? I would suggest one, however, nothing's coming to mind atm.

Wyldchyld (Old as dirt)
#1921: Oct 16th 2022 at 8:55:54 AM

For Laconic.Fridge Horror:

Perhaps we can start with this...

"A post-work realisation about a plot or character element that makes the work more terrifying than initially presented."

...and work out something from there?

Edited by Wyldchyld on Oct 16th 2022 at 8:59:27 AM

If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1922: Oct 16th 2022 at 4:36:50 PM

[up]I actually like your suggestion. Would it be alright if I use it?

Wyldchyld (Old as dirt)
#1923: Oct 17th 2022 at 6:17:32 PM

Yes, go ahead.

If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.
RandomTroper123 She / Her from I'll let you guess... (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
She / Her
#1924: Oct 17th 2022 at 6:38:07 PM

[up]Thanks, I'll put it in now.

Ayumi-chan 3rd happiest man in Connecticut from Iacon City (Experienced Trainee) Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
3rd happiest man in Connecticut
#1925: Oct 17th 2022 at 10:29:43 PM

Time for a another round of “bad laconics that need changing but I have no idea what to replace them with”

Edited by Ayumi-chan on Oct 18th 2022 at 1:30:15 AM

She/Her | Currently cleaning: N/A

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