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Laconic Description Improvement

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For a list of bad laconics, see Sandbox.Pages Needing Better Laconics.

For generally accepted guidelines for laconics, see Sandbox.Laconic Wiki Template.


Today I found out an interesting fact from troper Ironeye:

Don't ever make the mistake of using the Laconic version as the canonical trope meaning—the laconics are often written by people who don't actually understand the drop. In this case, the laconic only corresponds to one possible cause of Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy.

The Laconic Description for DIAA states as follows:

The thing is, these descriptions are supposed to make it easier to understand what the page is about. If they can't be accurate as well as short and sweet, then there's a problem.

So for starters, what would be a better description for DIAA?

Edited by MacronNotes on Jan 29th 2023 at 6:23:45 AM

Delibirda from Splatsville Since: Sep, 2020 Relationship Status: I wanna be your dog
#826: Apr 19th 2021 at 3:27:01 AM

The trope is "Bigger stick, woman gets better sex." We must build on that.

Edited by Delibirda on Apr 19th 2021 at 12:32:26 PM

"Listen up, Marina, because this is SUPER important. Whatever you do, don't eat th“ “DON'T EAT WHAT?! Your text box ran out of space!”
Tenebrika she/her (Less Newbie) Relationship Status: Not war
she/her
#827: Apr 24th 2021 at 3:47:50 AM

The laconic for Stock Parody Jokes seems complain-y and not very informative:

Okay, we got it, you're doing a parody! Now think of something new and actually funny!
My unfunny but, hopefully, more on-point suggestion: Commonplace, routinely reused jokes.

Delibirda from Splatsville Since: Sep, 2020 Relationship Status: I wanna be your dog
#828: Apr 24th 2021 at 4:41:17 AM

Definitively the new one.

"Listen up, Marina, because this is SUPER important. Whatever you do, don't eat th“ “DON'T EAT WHAT?! Your text box ran out of space!”
I--Vanya--I Hantengu, the Upper Rank 4 from Belarus Since: Jun, 2018 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Hantengu, the Upper Rank 4
#829: Apr 28th 2021 at 6:11:03 AM

Laconic.Scary Stinging Swarm states:

Chased by a swarm of angry stinging insects.

This description was formerly used for Bee Afraid trope back from before it underwent the Trope Transplant. However, I want to slightly alter it: replace the word "chased" with "attacked", since I believe that being chased by a swarm is not a requirement. Tropes Are Flexible, after all. Characters fleeing from swarms of stinging insects is not a mandatory part of a trope; it's simply a reactionary response to a Scary Stinging Swarm.

I brought it here because one troper thought that being chased by a swarm is a requirement because of a misleading laconic description.

"Ever since the day I was born, I've never once uttered a lie! I'm a virtuous weakling! As pitiful as I am, nobody shows me any sympathy!"
antenna_ears from California Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#831: Apr 30th 2021 at 2:42:07 PM

[tup]

So, I just found Laconic.Girlschool, and, uhh...

The Runaways: New Wave of British Heavy Metal edition. Or, if Motörhead were women.

Yeah, anyone want to take a crack at fixing this?

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
Vandagyre I think I just got AC team loyalty from Dacardia (Fifth Year at Tropey's) Relationship Status: Wishfully thinking
I think I just got AC team loyalty
#832: May 1st 2021 at 12:12:19 AM

Laconic.Buffoonish Tomcat has some grammar problems. Ideas on how to fix it?

Male cats unlike their female counterparts most of the time, resemble a ludicrous figure by clownish, klutzy, risible, whacky qualities by slapstick mainly.note 

Edited by Vandagyre on May 1st 2021 at 12:12:28 PM

Cave Johnson, we're done here.
wingedcatgirl mys. minty from the silly dimension from lurking (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Oh my word! I'm gay!
mys. minty from the silly dimension
#833: May 1st 2021 at 6:53:52 AM

That is just so, so fucking long. ~Toony Explorer 24 did almost all of these edits, making it longer and longer over time.

I'm inclined to revert it to something more likethis version from December that just reads "Male cats, unlike their female counterparts, are depicted as clownish or buffoonish."

Suddenly I'm... still rotating Fallen London in my mind even though I've stopped actively playing it.
Delibirda from Splatsville Since: Sep, 2020 Relationship Status: I wanna be your dog
#834: May 1st 2021 at 7:12:28 AM

[up][down]

"Listen up, Marina, because this is SUPER important. Whatever you do, don't eat th“ “DON'T EAT WHAT?! Your text box ran out of space!”
ToonyExplorer24 Mr. Imprecise from Bizarro Loluar Main Street, Mobius Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: It was just a setback
Mr. Imprecise
#835: May 1st 2021 at 1:18:04 PM

Oh ok I see, I think I should just save to a document to what I edited her and I can do my best with shortening it down. The same could be said for that laconic for the Kindhearted Simpleton page.

Joseph D. Sanford IV
ToonyExplorer24 Mr. Imprecise from Bizarro Loluar Main Street, Mobius Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: It was just a setback
Mr. Imprecise
#836: May 1st 2021 at 5:41:03 PM

ideaI was able to fix both the Buffoonish Tomcat laconic with a shorter description and I also just fixed the Kindhearted Simpleton one without making edit-wars on it. I'll just leave them there to the professionals as always.[tup]

Joseph D. Sanford IV
RustBeard Since: Sep, 2016
#837: May 1st 2021 at 5:59:52 PM

Here's the laconic for Not Like Other Girls:

A character tells a girl that she's not like other girls, without realising the implications of this.

Is it kosher to say a trope is inherently unfortunate?

MyFinalEdits Delete message from Parts Unknown (Spin-off Series) Relationship Status: Cast away
Delete message
#838: May 1st 2021 at 6:25:51 PM

It is, at least, unclear on what implications are truly there, so I support a change. Maybe something like "A character tells a girl that she's not like other girls, regardless of whether the claim is justified or not".

Although the main page's current description isn't helping here, because it also drifts into "this can be unfortunate because blah blah blah", so there may be a larger problem at hand.

135 -> 180 -> 273 -> 191 -> 188 -> 230 -> 300 -> 311
ShinyCottonCandy Everyone's friend Malamar from Lumiose City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Everyone's friend Malamar
#839: May 6th 2021 at 10:46:53 AM

Happy Ending's laconic repeats itself. Might I suggest it just be changed to say "An ending where nothing bad happens"?

My musician page
antenna_ears from California Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
antenna_ears from California Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
#842: May 6th 2021 at 3:49:03 PM

[up] What’s the problem? Laconics can refer to multiple things if they’re using the exact same namespace.

Serac she/her (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Oh my word! I'm gay!
she/her
#843: May 6th 2021 at 3:53:32 PM

[up] That's not the problem. It's that the trope laconic describes it as "the plot of Alice in Wonderland" with no elaboration on what the plot of said book is.

antenna_ears from California Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Coming soon to theaters
#844: May 6th 2021 at 3:59:57 PM

[up] K how bout:

Trope: The plot structure of Alice in Wonderland; wherein the protagonist becomes lost in a magical world, with its associated tropes.

Malady (X-Troper)
#845: May 6th 2021 at 8:30:05 PM

[up] - What tropes are the associated tropes?


Laconic.Wicked Witch: "Creepy cackling old woman who rides a broom."

Is a Redirect target for Evil Witch.

Is the trope just "Witch and Evil"??

Disambig Needed: Help with those issues! tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13324299140A37493800&page=24#comment-576
Malady (X-Troper)
#846: May 8th 2021 at 5:15:59 AM

Seems so, given the description has "It's likely that every witch in existence will be this trope in a setting where Magic Is Evil".

So, better Laconic than "Witch that is evil" suggestions?

Else I change...

Disambig Needed: Help with those issues! tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13324299140A37493800&page=24#comment-576
Wyldchyld (Old as dirt)
#847: May 8th 2021 at 9:58:13 AM

How about this?

A witch whose appearance, habits and powers are designed to stereotype her portrayal for the purpose of emphasising how a character is evil.

Edited by Wyldchyld on May 8th 2021 at 6:02:14 PM

If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.
Malady (X-Troper)
#848: May 8th 2021 at 10:01:19 AM

[up] - Oh, so it's not just Evil Witch, but Obviously Evil Witch? That's interesting!

Disambig Needed: Help with those issues! tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13324299140A37493800&page=24#comment-576
Wyldchyld (Old as dirt)
#849: May 8th 2021 at 10:04:37 AM

From reading the trope description, that's basically what I'm getting... it's how a work has brought together some, or all, of the classic negative elements of portraying witches to emphasise that the character in question really is evil.

It's basically what happens when Witch Classic and Obviously Evil decide to make a baby.

Cue the subversions when it turns out that the character is just an elderly widow who keeps cats to stave off loneliness and she's actually a good and kindly witch who only uses her powers to protect others. Cue the deconstruction if said kindly old widow is increasingly lonely, bitter and unhelpful due to people constantly ostracising her precisely because they've fallen victim to this trope.

Edited by Wyldchyld on May 8th 2021 at 6:14:41 PM

If my post doesn't mention a giant flying sperm whale with oversized teeth and lionfish fins for flippers, it just isn't worth reading.
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#850: May 8th 2021 at 2:45:19 PM

Laconic.Star Trek Deep Space Nine and Laconic.Star Trek Voyager are just references.

For every low there is a high.

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