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Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#701: Nov 18th 2015 at 7:09:21 AM

[up][up]I like her. Her backstory is interesting and I like her resolve and ambition, and they way she ended up going from bottom to the top. I must say I find the way she "started the family" more than a bit funny, but I've got a poor sense of humour as it is. I suppose she's the Reasonable Authority Figure of the story? She'd fit for the position.

[up]The arc seems pretty good, though I'm not very fond of characters who are goody two-shoes, and that's sort of what Brandon looks like at first. The rest is IMO good to go, though.

Rejoice!
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#702: Nov 18th 2015 at 12:18:26 PM

[up] Actually Bran is a Decon-Recon Switch of the goody two shoes heroes (who actually are less than you think).

The main think about his characters is who he feel who he can't understand the suffering of others "because that never happened to me". But he himself prove him wrong.

In many ways...but he fail in one time. And he would lament that time for the rest of his life, he get over it but the deaths of the people who died because he can't help to a special person in time get stuck.

He meet someone...very special.


Bran ended become the student of Mark Stalin, one of the cantidates of Strongest World Man. He had issues with training for fights because Bran is a Squishy Wizard, and a proud one. He learn the "No Body, Full Soul" style AKA. He avoid nearly all pain and become his body to a puppet of his mind. He mostly use Psy-waves (psycho punchs) and ocassionally Psi-cuts (Eventually the fact who Bran put "Psi-" to nearly all his tecniches become into a Running Gag)

He also become friends with Makoto Takeyama, thanks to both luck and to common interests. But Makoto...is a guy with many secrets and many issues, a Tyke-Bomb waiting to explode. Brandon manage to help Makoto a bit, but sadly that´s not enought. Makoto breaks and starts a Hero Journey To Villain who get him into awful, awful levels (the fact of who he is the heinous standart for the Last Story Arc show how bad he reach).

edited 18th Nov '15 3:11:23 PM by KazuyaProta

Watch me destroying my country
dRoy Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar from Most likely from my study Since: May, 2010 Relationship Status: I'm just high on the world
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
#703: Nov 19th 2015 at 1:45:19 PM

You seem to have some interesting character arc going on. Sounds intriguing, but I can see that it would be definitely challenging as well. It would probably depend on what kind of audience you are aiming for, but making his development from goody two shoes into something wholy different would take some skills. Either way, good luck!


I posted this character before, and now I'm going to flesh him out a little bit more and repost.

Name: Japheth Gladius (Full Title: Duke Japheth Vanderlich Tykell Gladius, Lord of Bladen and Commander of the King's Army, or Popularly Known As: The Bastard Duke)

Age: 29

Appearance: Slightly above average in height, but lean and compactly built, black hair with a conspicous hint of greying hair, slight wrinkles under his brown eyes.

Personality: He acts very dutybound, taking his duties as a duke and a general very seriously. Deep down, though, he is very merciful and compassionate, a trait that he developed ever since he was a little boy. However, he knows that he is either feared or hated by everyone and people only get alert when he shows his true, gentle side. As such, he forces himself to act stern and merciless as people expect him to be. Over the decade of his service under the king he was responsible for deaths of thousands of people, both deserved and undeserved, and this keeps up at night very often. In addition to this guilt, being a bastard he was mistreated by his father, who only took him in on the king's order, so he suffers from massive self-esteem issues. At times he just want to cry and scream...

Abilities: He's the most powerful fighter in the kingdom, strong enough to make the literal god of war bleed. He has incredible eye to hand coordination and reflex that allows him to dodge and counter pretty much any form of attack including arrows. He also wields Lunamourne, a sword that can instantly freeze any liquid it touches instantly and human flesh in cuts in a matter of few seconds. Lastly, he has a sharp memory and recognition of patterns, allowing him to predict his opponent's next moves after few exchanges.

Weaknesses: He is a superhuman soldier...but a very awful general. He has a problem with understanding logistics, resource management, and long term/large scale strategy. He tends to think that everyone has his physical capacity so he often makes a lot of tactical mistakes, most often involving just straight charging at his enemies.

Outside of physical confrontations, his self-esteem issues often bite him at the most inconvenient times, coming from being a bastard and being treated like one for the most of his life. Politically, while he is loved and trusted by the king and the lords loyal to him, many of the lords in the kingdom hates him because he betrayed them all during the rebellion against the king, led by his late father.

Goals and motivation: All he wants is to keep the peace of the kingdom and his soul. Unfortunately, this involves having to prevent neighboring nations from invading, hunting down the Free Riders, the remnants of the rebellion 12 years ago, while reconciling with his own family, all of who fears him.

Role in story: Japheth is the main character in the story, and the champion of the king's factions, fighting against the rebellious factions and warrior tribes about to invade the kingdom. In a typical medieval fantasy story, he would actually be that final boss the heroes would have to defeat.

Backstory:

He was born as Japheth Snowfell, a bastard of Count Gladius, one of the king's general and second hand man, and his sword dancer/harlot. Discovering his talent for swordfights, his mother taught him all she knew about using a sword and then some more, but made sure to instill in him sense of justice and compassion. When he was 12, he got roped into entering a martial arts tournament hosted by the king. While he lost in his first fight, he got the attention of the king, who did a background check on him and made Count Gladius accept the boy as his bastard, to which the count obliged very begrudgingly. After that the count would routinely send Japheth into suicide missions, such as killing the head of a major band of thieves, all of which from he returns successful, albeit barely.

When he was 16, the count rebelled against the king along with several other lords, even though the man was the chief commander of the king's army and basically the second in command. Reluctantly, he followed him and fought in the frontlines of many battles. Then one day, in a surprise attack that killed both the count and his eldest legitimate, he got captured and given an offer by the king: He could either join him or die. He was about to choose the latter, because even though he had no intention to rise against the king at the first place, he thought it was an honorable thing to do. Then he figured that if he didn't join the king, the king would kill his younger siblings too; they are either scared or suspicious of him, but he cares for them a lot. So he joined the king and with his help, the rebellion ended in king's victory.

For 12 years after that, he gave all he got to root out the remaining rebel forces and drive out the invaders to the kingdom. He rose up in the ranks and became a duke. Then his younger siblings, along with few other royal children, get attacked by a band of robbers and go missing in a massive, probably cursed forest. He officially takes a short vacation and secretly enter the forest along with some of his most trusted warriors to rescue them. Unfortunately, his warriors get either lost or incapacitated one by one, and he gets trapped in the forest.

By the time he manages to get out with everyone, he learns that he was branded as a traitor and worst of all, murderer of the king. Thus begins his journey through the kingdom to clear his name and keep the peace of the kingdom.

Related tropes:

Continuously reading, studying, and (hopefully) growing.
FullMoon feeling blue from Surface Since: Jul, 2012 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
feeling blue
#704: Nov 19th 2015 at 5:19:50 PM

[up] I like him and also feel sorry for him. He feels balanced in his qualities and deficiencies, has quite a sympathetic personalities and struggles and has a goal that while very simple, is good enough and I'm actually very interested in how his story develops from there. I do have to wonder how he gets branded as a traitor and murderer while he was stuck in a forest, but I'm guessing that would be explained as the story progresses (and is likely the deed of the villain of the plot, I'm guessing)

And now, I'm moving onto some of the major supporting characters of my story.

Name: Moreri Nyako/Ikeda

Age: 17

Appearance: An African boy of Japanese descent, Moreri has dark brown skin, short brown hair and black eyes. He's a little shorter than average and is usually dressed in a black robe with green markings on it and a matching monk cap, a pair of geta and is often carrying a fan made of crow feathers.

Personality: Moreri is open-minded, carefree and a free spirit bound only by his own desires, enjoying the feeling of freedom and being in open areas. He's compassionate and cooperative, having the belief that teamwork is the best path for productivity. Moreri is quite wise for someone of his age and is always willing to go through new experiences, as he believes it will improve his knowledge and generally help him expand his horizons even more. He feels as if he needs to prove his worth to others and tends to give himself very difficult to achieve goals in order to make himself develop more and more, resulting in him becoming a little of a workaholic despite still being so young. He's usually good at dealing with pressure, but staying under pressure for too long will eventually cause him to crack and lose his composure, especially if his father is watching and evaluating him.

Abilities: Moreri has the power of the Seal of Wind which allows him to manipulate wind at will. Most typically used to compensate for his lack of wings by making him able to hover in mid-air. His main weapon for manipulating wind is his Tengu fan.

  • Tengu Cutter: With a blow of his fan, Moreri sends a large blade of wind towards his foe.
  • Frigid/Fever Wind: Moreri generates a strong gust of either cold or hot wind towards his opponent, it's cold enough to begin freezing someone or hot enough to cause actual burns.
  • Wind Pressure: Moreri directs the wind around his opponents down with great force, this causes an effect much like heavy gravity that restricts their movements significantly. However, Moreri can't keep it going for too long as it's a very draining ability and he also can't move himself while it's in effect, making it more of a team support skill and even then it can end up affecting his allies too if they wander into the "heavy gravity" zone.

Weaknesses: Moreri is not very proficient in fighting and is very vulnerable at close quarters, instead, he has to rely on other to take the front lines for him while he covers them from a safe distance. He's agile and evasive, however his techniques generally have less immediate power and are centered around slowly wearing the opponent down.

Goals: To become immortal and also a worthy successor for his father for the title of Daitengu.

Motivations: His short lifespan compared to the Tengu meaning he would eventually die before his father could even pass the title to him. Other than that, he wants to impress his adoptive father and show himself to be worthy of leading the Tengu.

Role in the Story: He's one of the five human children brought to Makai in order to protect the world's balance with Earth. He also is Kenshin's main ally from the Tengu territory

Backstory: Moreri led a normal life for a brief time before an unfortunate accident resulted in the death of both of his parents and left him an orphan at the of 7. With that, he was sent to an orphanage but he was never really able to get along with the other kids thanks to still being in grief over his loss. Living in an orphanage with a bunch of kids that he didn't like wasn't appealling to him, so he planned to escape it and find a better place to live. It was during his escapade in the middle of the night that he saw what he seemed to be a ghostly figure and, curious, he decided to follow it.

The figure soon created a portal and disappeared through it and Moreri trid to peek inside of it only to end up being pulled inside by a mysterious force, on the other side he was immediately greeted with the sight of Kurama Ikeda a winged humanoid that was a Daitengu, the most powerful of the Tengu, a race that was otherwise comprised of anthropomorphic crows. Being aware of what the arrival of a human child was essentially a bad omen that a great threat to the world of Makai would soon arrive, Kurama took Moreri under his care and explained to him that he must have been the descendant of the Onmyoji that helped shape that world and must have been brought there to help protect the land they created. Kurama exposed Moreri to the Seal of Wind that contained the power of his ancestor which allowed him to unlock his own hidden powers. From there, Kurama proceeded to discipline both him and his biological son, Seiji. Overjoyed from having a father once more, different as he may be, Moreri devoted himself to trying to become the ideal son and leader, quickly earning the respect of his subjects after the period of shock due to his hard work and kindness.

Relevant Tropes:

  • Benevolent Boss: He always make a decision with the well-being of everyone in mind and treats all of his servants with respect.
  • Chronic Hero Syndrome: He's unable to let any wrongdoings slide and he refuses to ignore anyone in need of help.
  • Flunky Boss: His strategy in battle is to generally rely on his bodyguards, Tamotsu and Yori, to keep foes busy while he supports them from a safe distance. When his bodyguards aren't available, he just takes cover behind whoever ally is with him at the time.
  • Guest-Star Party Member: He assists the protagonists during various occasions when he's not busy taking care of his land, which usually involves delegating work to Seiji while he goes off to accompany them.
  • Happily Adopted: He doesn't take very long to adapt to his new surroundings and culture, being very happy to be part of Kurama's family.
  • Immortality Seeker: Since his lifespan is shorter than the Tengu, he searches for a way to become immortal so that not only can he last longer, but also so that he could potentially lead the Tengu forever.
  • The Man Behind the Monsters: He basically wants to become this to the Tengu, wanting to become a proper leader for the species under Kurama's guidance in spite of the skepticism of the Tengu regarding a human's ability to be an effective ruler for a completely different species.
  • Missing Mom: Even after being adopted he lacks a mother, although he knows he must have one, as Seiji's existance proves that Kurama did have at least an affair with someone.
  • Nice Guy: He's kind and compassionate but also too trusting of people which allows him to be manipulated with more ease than most.
  • No One Gets Left Behind: He refuses to let anyone be left to die while he is around to do something about it.
  • Parental Favoritism: He shows much more promise than Seiji in a short amount of time which certainly leaves his adoptive father impressed. Seiji, meanwhile, grows to resent him although Moreri is completely oblivious to it and doesn't even notice the shadow he was casting upon his Tengu brother which eventually leads to Senji's start of darkness.
  • The Smart Guy: Of the five human children, he easily fits into this category.
  • Weak, but Skilled: He's not particularly powerful, but he's able to make very effective use of what abilities he has.
  • "Well Done, Son" Guy: Moreri really wants to make Kurama proud of him and, for the most part, he succeeds, but he keeps trying to exceed his expectations to unreasonable extents.
  • Wise Beyond Their Years: Moreri is surprisingly wise for someone so young and often gives others advice for dealing with their issues, as he aims to be an understanding leader and to gather as much knowledge as he can.

edited 20th Nov '15 2:51:04 AM by FullMoon

KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#705: Nov 19th 2015 at 6:21:34 PM

[up] and [up][up] Your heroes rememeber me to Bran in some ways.


[up] I want see get his objetives, he want be a good succesor. Cool guy, nice powers too. I like his personality a lot. I like the tropes arround him.


[up][up] Good guy, i feel bad by his bad luck.


To the people in general:

Actually is hard write a hero fully heroic, not just flawed. The people who i ask for help normally send me flaws to Bran who...actually i don`t think who match with him. In the best my friends want who he is like Sword Art Online Abridged Kirito (a angry and violent man with many issues thanks to isolation).

I actually want write someone who start like a good and kind person just because he have a nice life, show who not everyone need suffer to become a good guy. Sometimes people is just nice by the sake of niceness, if For the Evulz is a Ok Motivation for some villains (see The Joker) why not the opposite?.

Bran actually works a bit like Superman. Both are people who is good because they was raised for good and honest people. If Clark Kent is about the good things in a farm in Kansas, Brandon Harlaw is about the good things in a urbane life. (Funny, actually are a historical figure In-Universe who is a Superman Expy. Write-Up later).

Some thing who i`ve thinking...a Jerk with a Heart of Gold is more releatable to a Nice Guy to many right?. (Maybe i am the only one of my club of friends who liked more Alphonse than Ed, and this come for someone who like both a lot).

I want write a story about a Nice Guy hero who make the best. Cliche?. Tropes Are Not Bad.

The thing is about write a good story, i want make the best for Bran. He had issues and the situation become really bad, but he...he get over it. He just want help others and he make the best who he can.

He can fail?. A lot, Makoto Takeyama Fallen Hero status can be avoided if Bran would be more direct, but Bran choose be delicate and sutile. His lack of Social Skills screwed both.

Bran and Makoto are foils. Bran is a good guy for the sake of be good, has loving parents and while bad things can happen to him he still be good. He just think who Good Feels Good, when a antagonist acuse him for "selfish" by make the good because that feels good (Like certain speeches in Puella Magi Madoka Magica) Bran answer is: And?, is just a aspect of it. I don`t hurt you, why you care about it?.

Makoto is the opposite. He is a depresive guy with a Dark and Troubled Past, lack of social skill and if not because he have friend in the past (who he losted in his sad backstory) he maybe would be a dick. He is a good man, he just have many issues. He had a lot of potential.

They both lack of social skill, one with a good and nice raising and other with a couple of dead parents.

Odd Friendship is in the way.


I would stop to heard guides for others unless i ask speciffically. My friend send me a "anime male characters tier" and i realize who was bullshit when all the God-Tier characters are Adults coming for M Rated For Manly series, even Amuro Ray who nearly all of his Character Development happens when he is a teen.

I just want be worried to write a main character who i liked.

Watch me destroying my country
handlere The Exia is my waifu from Hell Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Robosexual
The Exia is my waifu
#706: Dec 1st 2015 at 12:00:57 PM

[up] I know that feeling. I always felt compelled to make David some sort of angsty Anti-Hero jerk until a comment complaining that there are very few people in fiction anymore that wants to write somebody fighting evil just for the sake of it.

Anyways, Bran seems like a great character, so don't worry. I also read somewhere in the Villain Critique thread that he basically becomes a top-grade badass capable of fighting the Big Bad toe-on-toe. Is that right?

And Vindexi Populi gets another plot paradigm shift, after I learned the hard way that trying to flesh out all of the GEAR Drives is far too much work for comparatively little story impact. So, here's my Deuteragonist.

  • Name: Rose Delgado
  • Appearance: Here. You can see Dusk Mode on the left.
  • Age: 15-16ish.
  • Personality: The first thing you should know about Rose is that she has an humongous ego, which may be justified, considering that she IS ridiculously good at anything she does. As such, she treats most other people with barely hidden condescendation and rudeness, although that may be because of her isolation. However, her ego, whilst large, is also as thin as a razor; one “fair” defeat or failure is enough to shatter it to a million pieces. She gets better as the story goes on, becoming slightly more amicable and far less rude.
  • Abilities:
  • Rose is trained in most forms of combat, and excels in all of them. Unlike David’s borderline brawling style, she utilizes a variety of different forms and techniques from various martial arts.
  • In addition, Rose is a Born Winner. She’s pretty much good at anything she does that does not involve much social interaction, which covers a lot of skills. Save for one; see below.
  • Her greatest asset is however, the Radiant GEAR, which allows her to activate magitek Powered Armor from nothing. It has several variations called Modes; they are detailed below.
    • The Dawn Mode boost her physical strength, speed and agility to ridiculous degrees. Think stuff like being able to bench-press trains without much effort, outrunning lightning and the like
    • The Sun Mode transforms her into a Beam Spam machine; essentially, fighting against Sun Mode is a bit like fighting a bullet hell boss on the highest difficulty setting
    • The Dusk Mode enables her to use ridiculous Combat Pragmatism stuff, ranging from illusions to what could be described as No-Sell-ing ranged attacks because it never hit her.
  • Weaknesses:
  • Although the Radiant GEAR’s power vastly outstrips the man-made Forged GEAR, it does share a weakness with the latter: a overreliance on the ARC coins that fuel the GEAR’s powers; without the coins, Rose cannot fuel the GEAR’s powers or even transform.
  • However, her greatest weakness does not lie in the Radiant GEAR itself, but rather in her ego. She grew up with the knowledge that she’s undefeatable in a fair fight, so when somebody does beat her in a fight, she completely shuts down. Her ego also prevents her to not ignore any insults to herself, and causes her to have Suicidal Overconfidence.
  • Also, she has barely any social skills, due to being isolated from people other than her brother all her life. Which causes a lot of other problems in itself.
  • Last but not least(?), she’s a Dreadful Musician. No, really. Don’t let her even touch a piano if you value your eardrums.
  • Goals: Reseal the Four Horsemen.
  • Motivation: Pressure from being the Chosen One who is going to solve everything in the story.
  • Role in the story: The Lancer.
  • '''Backstory:
    • Rose’s backstory goes way back to 1347, when the Four Horsemen wreaked havoc in Europe. However, a young man, Haskell Delgado, gained the Radiant GEAR and proceeds to absolutely annihilate the Four Horsemen’s physical manifestations, eventually sealing them in a gemstone.
    • However, the sealing was only a temporary solution; in roughly 600 years, the Horsemen would return to the world, weakened but not defeated. There’s a prophecy that states that an heroine would be born when the world is attacked by the Horsemen again.
    • To prevent the Four Horsemen from causing so much damage again and to ensure the safety of the family that would eventually , the Order of the Solar Squires was created, with Hask as it’s leader. Their numbers dwindled over time, and eventually there was a schism between those who hold on to the prophecy and those who reject it. As expected, the Delgadoes stayed behind.
    • When Rose was born, it was a time of both great jubilation and great worry, for the unsealing of the Horsemen would come soon. She was personally tutored by her elder brother, who is also pretty much the only person she had any contact with for the first 14 years of her life.
    • When the Solar Squires learned that the Horsemen were released from their prison, Rose was sent to Excalibur to deal with it. Of course, nobody ever bothered to teach her how to deal with other people, so Hilarity Ensues.
  • Relevant tropes:
    • Because Destiny Says So: Her viewpoint on the Occult Unified Club’s mission is basically “I’m going to carry your sorry team’s ass Because Destiny Says So.”, which clashes with David’s viewpoint of “we can kick the Four Horsemen’s asses without the Radiant GEAR’s help”. They don’t go along with each other.
    • Belligerent Sexual Tension: With David, or at least that’s what Matt claims.
    • Broken Ace
    • The Chosen One: A deconstruction of one; essentially, being told that she’s mankinds last hope and isolating her from the world is going to cause some issues.
    • Curb-Stomp Battle: Delivered one against David when they first met.
      • Is on the receiving end of one by Famine, which causes an Heroic BSoD.
    • Idiot Hero: Idiot as in “a Leeroy Jenkins and lacking common sense”, not as in “total moron”. In D&D terms, she has a decent INT score, but she completely dumped her WIS score.
    • Inferiority Superiority Complex: Nope! She truly believes that she’s the best thing since sliced bread.
    • Legacy Character: Is the second user of the Radiant GEAR, after her great-ancestor, Haskell.
    • Multiform Balance: It must be noted that her forms are Lightning Bruisers compared to David’s Forged GEAR modes. That being said:
    • Pride: She started the story with too much of it, loses far too much in the middle, and ends with a moderate amount of it.
    • Sacrificed Basic Skill for Awesome Training: Sacrificed a normal life, social skills, and friendships for the ability to use the Radiant GEAR and combat skills.
    • Super Prototype: In comparision to the Forged GEAR, who was made with in its image; the Radiant GEAR hits harder, is faster, and has more potent abilities than the Forged GEAR.
    • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: With David; not only for the reason stated above, but also because their hobbies and interests are anathema to each other
      • Scratch that, she has this with the VP in general; she thinks they aren’t giving enough respect to her, and they just can’t stand her.
    • Tsundere: Of the Wolf-Girl variety.
    • Weapon Of Choice: The Shining Axe. Unlike David, her weapon’s shared across all her modes.
    • Wrong Genre Savvy: She thinks she’s The Hero and David is The Lancer. It’s actually the opposite.

edited 1st Dec '15 12:04:43 PM by handlere

Seen in the profile picture: the Gundam Flauros Rebake Full City, piloted by McGillis Itsuka, captain of the Turbines
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#707: Dec 1st 2015 at 1:28:23 PM

[up]

Of course, nobody ever bothered to teach her how to deal with other people, so Hilarity Ensues.
.

That don't sound funny at all...

Interesting character, such a tsundere skill..

She remind me to certain character of my story...The Dragon of the first Story Arc. Sorry...

I really liked watch/read/whatever your work. Rose sound like a cool heroine.

Watch me destroying my country
Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#708: Dec 2nd 2015 at 1:35:20 PM

[up][up]Wow, the ego! Interesting character, and certainly not the usual type of The Chosen One. She seems awfully overpowered, but given how Famine gives her a beatdown, it doesn't seem all that bad. And going by what you've written, her interactions with David will be... interesting evil grin I agree with Kazuya, I'd read that.


And, last but not least, the final member of Book of Sayings' Four-Temperament Ensemble, the supposed Phlegmatic. note 

  • Name: Chevier Sourseille, AKA Jagon Southre
  • Age: 27
  • Appearance: He's a bit taller and more muscular than the average, with his head bald save for a short mohawk. He's also a spirsele: both of his eyes are covered by two different kinds of lens and he has six mechanical, spider-like limbs attached to his back, ending in various tools. Because of this, he usually walks a bit hunched.
  • Personality: Chevier is rather distanced and usually quiet, preferring to listen rather than speak. He doesn't attach himself to people a lot and rarely speaks about his own feelings or emotions, but others tend to open up when near him. He's devoutedly religious and has a keen sense of duty, right and wrong, meaning he might sometimes go on to help people he barely knows. He's hard to anger, but very, very determined and relentless in pursuing his aims.
  • Abilities:
    • His mechanical arms lend him much greater strength and are immune to pain, meaning that if he put his mind to it, he could punch through brick wall (it would take a bit, though, they're not made for punching). Two of them end in climbing pick-like devices, which let him climb very quickly, but can pierce a person just as well. Two other arms end in mechanoid hands and the lowest two have a set of lockpicks and a small array of screwdrivers and drills.
    • One of his lenses lets him see in the dark, the other is thermal vision.
    • Chevier's an adept brawler and fighter, a moderate pistol shot and fairly good with knife, both in his biological and mechanical hands.
    • He's a good spiric engineer and mechanician, often having to work on his own augmentics by himself.
    • He has a fairly extensive network of contacts in the city and can mimic accents from many parts of the world.
  • Weaknesses:
    • His Chronic Hero Syndrome and unwillingness to speak plainly to others means he often gets himself into situations that he should probably avoid (see: how he gets embroiled in the story). He sometimes has pangs of doubt whether what he does is actually right.
    • While his mechanoids are fairly resilient, his own body is not - he's human-squishy and while his mecha-arms might be able to raise a car, they'd probably be ripped straight out of his shoulder blades, along with the blades themselves. Moreover, as he never removes his lenses, he can be blinded by sudden bursts of light or heat, and the latter can burn metal embedded in his back.
    • At the start of the story, he suffers a rather serious spiric acid poisoning (a Bad Thing), meaning he's weakened and has periods of fever and hallucinations for some time.
  • Goals: First, to gather as much information about enemy kingdom as possible; then, to stop the war between it and his own.
  • Motivation: Duty to his kingdom and his deity, his inner conviction that somebody has to stop the Big Bad, his Chronic Hero Syndrome.
  • Role in the Story: A POV and Mr. Exposition on spir for the reader, the heavy lifter of the heroes.
  • Backstory: Born in Trebauchenote , Chevier was raised in a governmental orphanage ran by a spirselenote , and became a faithful and loyal follower of the cult, getting his first augmentics at the age of seventeen, the youngest possible. The orphanages being traditional hunting grounds for Two Kings' services, he was soon noted for having a knack for languages and accents and was enrolled into Royal Intelligence Service. With tensions between Trebauche and Tír Taugh heating up, he was sent off to capital of the latter to monitor what's going on in the city. By the story's start, he's been living there for three years and pretends to be one Jagon Southre, a spirsele from south of Tír Taugh.
  • Relevant Tropes:
    • Animal Motifs: Spider. Partly on purpose, as it's the symbol of his faith. He's often compared to one, has total of eight arms, and looks very spider-like when climbing.
    • Religious Bruiser: His faith is pretty much the foundation of his entire moral system.
    • Multi-Armed and Dangerous: Has six extra arms and is the most heavyweight of the heroes.
    • Chronic Hero Syndrome: Possibly his Fatal Flaw, given his profession, but he's the kind to jump in to foil a robbery or help a woman defend herself from people trying to kill her.
    • Determinator: Really hard to stop once he decides on his course of action.
    • Badass Gay: He's into men, and I do hope I can write him into a badass.
    • Enemy Mine: He allies with enemy spymistress to stop Cawleth.
    • The Big Guy: The "fightiest" of the heroes.
    • To Be Lawful or Good/Conflicting Loyalties: His double duties as servant of Two Kings and devout of the Spider Deity somehow conflict, as it is in case of the plot.
    • Body Horror: He rarely ever removes his lenses. His eyes underneath them aren't a pleasant thing to see.
    • The Engineer: While Morgaine specializes in spiric chemistry, his forte is spiric engineering.
    • Orphan's Plot Trinket: He's got a small eagle necklace which was supposedly from his mother. He considers it his token of luck and can get rather distressed when it's gone.
    • The Quiet One: He's speaks rarely, and even then it's not very loud.
    • The Stoic: He's pretty much never angry.
    • Straight Gay: He's not much into dating, but he often catches himself ogling handsome men.

edited 2nd Dec '15 1:39:26 PM by Kakai

Rejoice!
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#709: Dec 2nd 2015 at 6:28:55 PM

[up] I like his appareance, he make me think in a heroic Dr. Octopus. I like him, i like the Religious Bruiser trope...a lot. (Scar is my favorite FMA character).

And yes, he is awesome with a cool powerset. Initially look like a villain but after meet him a bit more he actually is a very cool hero. I want read about him.


Now is time for the Deuteragonist of Theology!

Name: Misao Hachimaki.

Age:: 16-17

She look like this:[1] (Made in Rinmaru Game, i'm a fan of the page, is useful).

Backstory: She was a lonely girl, witouth friends, she suffer for bullying becuase her mother cheat his dad and she ended living with her mother (In present time she has overcome the Mommy Issues and is a good relationship with his mother, but his dad lack the social skills enought to build a total good relationship with her). She has a Only Friend called Caroline who sadly died in the start of the story.

Misao ended devastated, she fall into a huge depression and she just start to overcome it when the story starts. She discover who Caroline was a Magical Girl (A member or the Order of The Maiden) and Misao take her own Hero Worship Up To Eleven, she start to idealize Caroline and become her into her own ideal.

She discover who Caroline made a lot of mistakes and has lots of flaws (specially when is about her relationship with her boyfriend). Misao don't take it very well but when the Power of Friendship of her new friends (her companion) and eventually The Power of Love she get over it. And she realize something who become into a important part of her worldview: Caroline wasn't perfect, but she truly was Misao's friend. The Humans Are Flawed aesop is stronger in her.

Misao become a Maiden really strong with her Maiden's insigne heredated of Caroline and she eventually turn into a inspiration for the others Maidens.

Then the Hisao's coup d state happens and The conspiration of The Circle of the Revelation happens in the same time.

Misao actually is forced to take actions into Hisao campaing, she defeat member of The Circle infiltred in the army and eventually she fight (and kill) to Benjamin of the Flame, leader of the Four Elementals. She befriends with the "Orphan Princess" and they both work together to stop both Hisao and Benjamin (who don't work together).

And more stuff happens...

Personality: In the start Misao is destroyed emotionally, her Only Friend is dead and she is alone, her mom live in other city and her dad too. She take a time to get over it, she is pretty melancolic. When the Character Development kicks she start to become into a Stepford Smiler until Brandon and Makoto make her break her mask. Then Misao become into a girl with a bit more trust in herself, she take Makoto words very seriously "You're more special than you believe" and she take Bran's words like important.

When she discover to her Stalker with a Crush (a guy who was trying to talk to her) and see who him become a member of The Circle of The Revelations only to become stronger to imprese her she take it bad. But she still fighting and put her stalk in a jail. Brandon and her become very close because they similar quirks (No Social Skills, prefer fiction to reality and they both can be very, very clumsy -and ever more corny!-).

She start as a depressed girl and ended as a strong woman who can take the problems of life with help of other, who values her loved ones more than other thing in the world.

I going to add more but before all i need say it.

Theology is a story with three plots, who merged into one after some crosseroads. Brandon is the MC of one and Misao is the MC of her own story.

The third one is Makoto who is..a totally different story.

(Note: This is my first female main character, i've write other females before but she is the first one who is the MC...of her own story)

edited 2nd Dec '15 7:16:32 PM by KazuyaProta

Watch me destroying my country
AmbarSonofDeshar Since: Jan, 2010
#710: Dec 2nd 2015 at 8:14:08 PM

I'd be interested to know more about Misao's journey from broken down girl to strong and functional. You say it happens but I'd like some elaboration on the process.


This character is from a series of Western short stories that I hope to one day turn into an actual novel. He was originally the villain of the piece, but I've since decided he's actually far more interesting as an antihero, if a morally dubious one.

Name: Mister Garfield Sellers

Age: Early forties

Appearance: Tall, spare, and sharp featured, Mister Sellers wears a monocle and a perpetual aristocratic sneer. He's dressed in the height of mid-nineteenth century fashion, in a tailor made suit, patent leather shoes, and a top hat, all in black, with the buttons, cuff links, pocket watch, and monocle chain all in silver. He sports an elegantly groomed waxed moustache, carries a black cane with a silver snake's head handle, and when he speaks, it's with just a hint of an upper class British accent.

Personality: Mister Sellers is arrogant and condescending, treating people with icy politeness when he has no reason to think them idiots, and biting sarcasm when he does. He loathes heat, dust, sand, and the outdoors in general, and very much does not want to be in Arizona, where the story takes place. When dealing with problems he tends towards the brutally efficient, regardless of potential human cost. If there's anything good to be said about him it's that he always pays what he said he would, values and rewards competency, keeps his promises and is, for the time period, remarkably colour blind.

Abilities: Despite looking like a stereotype of a City Slicker, Mister Sellers is actually a deadly dangerous fighter, who grew up hard and fast in one of Boston's worst neighbourhoods. There's a sword concealed in his cane, a derringer one sleeve, a spring-loaded knife up the other, and a revolver under his waistcoat and he's lethal with them all. While not a personally likable man, he's got an entire bank in back of him, and all the money and resources they care to throw at a problem are his to use.

Weaknesses: Mister Sellers is completely out of his element in Arizona. While he's more than a match for any of the locals in a fight, he doesn't know the terrain, doesn't know the people, and quite frankly, doesn't want to. His willingness to shoot first doesn't endear him to the people in town, and his attitude and fancy clothes makes it even harder for him to win people over, despite all his money.

Goals: Mister Sellers is here to get back the bank's money, end of discussion.

Motivation: Mister Blackwell, one of the bank owners, took Sellers off the street when he was a punk kid. Sellers will, in turn, drop any number of bodies to pay Blackwell back.

Role in story: Mister Sellers is one of several characters competing to bring in Beauregard Wiley, a former Confederate officer turned bandit who has robbed a local branch of the bank Sellers works for. When the local authorities fail to recover the money or punish Wiley's gang, Mister Blackwell puts Sellers on the first train to Arizona, with orders to get back their cash through any means necessary. Initially antagonistic to the others who are after Wiley, Sellers eventually forms an uneasy alliance with them after Tiberius Rhodes, who once acted as his guide on a previous job, and is one of the viewpoint characters, convinces him it is a good idea.

Backstory: Sellers grew up poor, Protestant and British in a nineteenth century neighbourhood dominated by Irish-Catholic street gangs. This more or less forced him to become the toughest guy in the area, and he eventually found work with several of the gangs, who valued his ability even if they could not stand him personally. Arrested at the age of fifteen, he was found in prison by Mister Blackwell, who pulled him out of jail and turned him into his personal bodyguard and enforcer.

Relevant tropes: Anti-Hero (he's after the right people but doesn't care much about who else gets hurt), Bling-Bling-BANG! (all his guns and his knife are silver plated) City Slicker (designed as something of a subversion of the trope), Fish out of Water (he does not belong in the Wild West), Hidden Badass (at first), High-Class Glass, Implacable Man (nothing stops Sellers and at times he's more killing machine than person), Nice Hat, Nothing Up My Sleeve (except a derringer), Rags to Riches, Sharp-Dressed Man, Sword Cane, They Call Me MISTER Tibbs! (it's always Mister Sellers), Undying Loyalty (to Mister Blackwell)

edited 3rd Dec '15 8:51:09 AM by AmbarSonofDeshar

Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#711: Dec 3rd 2015 at 3:33:26 AM

[up][up]Thanks!

[up]At first, Mr Sellers comes off as more than a little off-putting, but the more I got into his bio, the more fun to read about he seems, especially his anti-sociality and his dislike of situation he's found himself in. All in all, he's definitely morally-ambiguous antihero, but likeable. His loyalty to Blackwell is a strong point in his favour.

Only two notes, appearance-wise: where did his British accent come from? And isn't a monocle kind of a terrible thing to have near the eye when one expects to fight at any moment?

edited 3rd Dec '15 3:34:43 AM by Kakai

Rejoice!
AmbarSonofDeshar Since: Jan, 2010
#712: Dec 3rd 2015 at 8:48:37 AM

[up]The accent, like many, many things about Garfield Sellers, is an affectation. Growing the son of poor English immigrants, and beaten regularly by neighbourhood kids on account of having his dad's working class accent, Sellers now pretends to be from much wealthier English stock now that he's a well-off bank employee.

The monocle, for the record, is actually necessary. One too many punches in the face when he was younger have left Sellers with blurry vision in one of his eyes, and the monocle corrects that. Though the reason why he uses a monocle instead of just a pair of glasses with one corrective lens is, as with everything else, affectation.

handlere The Exia is my waifu from Hell Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Robosexual
The Exia is my waifu
#713: Dec 3rd 2015 at 11:46:45 AM

[up][up] The Taxman Cometh!

Mr. Sellers seems like a character from, say, a 20's gangster flick put into a western, which is pretty much why I like him. The only problems I had were already covered by Kakai, so that's that.

And here we have the hopefully final version of David Piscine. I swear, really. tongue

  • Name: David Piscine
  • Appearance: Here. From left to right; Knifes Mode, Shield Mode, Sword Mode and David himself. Not shown; Rifle Mode, because I honestly couldn’t be arsed to draw a bazooka/rifle combo, and the Rising forms, because of, well, spoilers.
  • Age: 15-16ish.
  • Personality: At first glance, David looks like a brash, reckless, easily manipulatable energetic Idiot Hero; however, look deeper and you actually see parts of a clever Guile Hero, able to think on his feet whilst saving lives. He isn't reluctant to use violence, although he only uses it when he thinks he has no other option. Killing is still a bridge too far for him, though.
  • David is also the only one without much issues in the Dysfunction Junction that’s called the Occult Unified Club. It may not sound like much, but considering Matt has overbearing parents, Kate has attachment issues, and Rose is, well, Rose, he’s the only beacon of mental stability in the group.
  • Abilities:
  • David is ridiculously skilled with technology, which was one of the reasons he's accepted into Excalibur. His skill with technology is good enough to finish the Forged GEAR that his father made, even without blueprints.
  • Aside from that, he's quite personable and has a basic grasp on combat and tactics, although not to the extent of Rose.
  • His greatest asset is, however, the Forged GEAR, which allows him to generate magitek Powered Armor from nothing, in exchange for the expenditure of an ARC coin. It has several forms called Modes; they are detailed below.
    • In Sword Mode, David gains a sword(more like a superheated rod, but I digress,) called the Cali Burn, which possesses Absurd Cutting Power. In addition, with the expenditure of an ARC coin, David can manipulate fire for a short time.
    • In Shield Mode, David gains a shield and mace combo called the Aegi Bash. The shield possesses Nigh-Invulnerability, the mace can knock people around far further than it should. In addition, with the expenditure of an ARC coin, David can manipulate the very earth for a short time.
    • In Knifes Mode, David gains the Carntwinnan knifes, who can be thrown for bending shots. In addition, In addition, with the expenditure of an ARC coin, David can manipulate(and generate! )water-for a short time.
    • In Rifle Mode, David gains a BFG called the Gundiva, who is a cross between sniper rifle and recoilless rifle. Yes, seriously. In addition, with the expenditure of an ARC coin, David can manipulate wind. Shockingly, it’s only for a short time.
    • If David uses an Rising Coin instead of a normal ARC coin to transform, he instead transforms into the Rising Form based on the original form. It amplifies the power of the Modes to the extent that they don’t need to use the ARC coins to manipulate their elements, supercharges their powers when David does put an ARC coin to use them, and grants the modes whole new designs.
  • Weaknesses:
  • David is a lazy bum when it comes to schoolwork. Most of the time, he'd rather fight crime or watch Spacetime Knight instead of making his homework. He's also absolutely terrible with foreign languages, and has a bad case of Chronic Hero Syndrome.
  • Ironically, it’s his ‘’lack’’ of personal issues that becomes a weakness later on. A lot of people rely on him to be their Living Emotional Crutch, and that kind of takes a toll on him as he wants people to see him as something more than “amateur shrink”
  • He’s also deadly afraid of rollercoasters after reading a horror story about one. He always thinks he’s going to get decapitated if he rides one.
  • The Forged GEAR is weaker compared to the Radiant GEAR; it’s also far less efficient with ARC coins, requiring expenditure of them to even activate the Elemental Powers each GEAR has.
  • Goals: Reseal the Four Horsemen.
  • Motivation: "I don't know why you need some grand motive to defend people. If you have the power, why don't use it for good?"
  • Role in the story: The Hero.
  • Backstory:
    • David’s backstory goes back to roughly thirty years ago, when the Order of the Solar Squires were undergoing a schism between those who still trust the prophecy and those who reject it and instead embraces other solution. David’s father was the leader of the dissenters, which eventually led him and a few of his followers to break ties with the OSS
    • David’s father worked on the Forged GEAR for the rest of his life, although he still managed to managed enough of a social life to marry a woman and to have a twin with her. However, circumstances unrelated to his work forced a divorce between them -after which nobody heard about him ever again.
    • Roughly six years after his father’s disappearance, David received the as-of yet unfinished Forged GEAR by one of his father’s followers and told to keep it in safe hands. David being David, he instead tries to complete it without any clue about its true function (his initial guess being a magic vending machine), and after doing this, he succeeded.
    • After breezing through grade and middle school, he managed to get into Excalibur. Unbeknownst to him, it’s host to a tiny branch of the OSS who desperately needs the Forged GEAR, and David somehow found himself shanghaied to work together with them. Cue the main plot.
  • Relevant tropes:

edited 3rd Dec '15 11:48:34 AM by handlere

Seen in the profile picture: the Gundam Flauros Rebake Full City, piloted by McGillis Itsuka, captain of the Turbines
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#714: Dec 3rd 2015 at 1:17:20 PM

To Ambar Sonof Deshar: Yes, i going to post more of Misao. Is a long story, she need time. Also i share Kakai opinions. Mr. Sellers is classy cool.


To handlere: -Never say finally, the characters evolves with you and probably you must change aspects of the work. In my case?. A lot.

Bran and David probably would be friends. They share the status of be The Only Sane Man in a Dysfunction Junction.

Aside from that, he's quite personable and has a basic grasp on combat and tactics, although not to the extent of Rose.

No one can reach or top Rose!!!.

David`s GEAR look really badass. [awesome]

Ironically, it’s his ‘’lack’’ of personal issues that becomes a weakness later on. A lot of people rely on him to be their Living Emotional Crutch, and that kind of takes a toll on him as he wants people to see him as something more than “amateur shrink”

Bran and him now are bros. Seriously, is a bit disturbing how they both are so similar...

Pungeon Master. Oh, i really like that trope. Specially with the bad ones evil grin.

In general [awesome]. I want read it.

Watch me destroying my country
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#715: Dec 3rd 2015 at 6:22:48 PM

(To Ambar Sonof Deshar, Caroline is a bit distint than the original write-up in the relationship thread, i've rewritten a lot)

Re: Misao Character Arc.

She start as a shy girl who was dependent of her Only Friend Caroline, she lack of self confidance due her years of bullying and self isolation (actually are people who want talk her, she is cute actually -or what i think who is cute- and some guys flirt with her, she just reject all).

When Caroline die, Misao is devastated. She fall into depression and she just out of her apartament to visit Caroline tomb (she don't have the strenght to go the funeral, Misao hate herself for it). Then when Misao is back to her apartament she is followed by a girl called Alice who give her a mysterious collar, that collar was Caroline's collar. Alice tell Misao to the collar is part of Caroline heritage to her, Misao ask for it and Alice is forced to say the truth. That Collar is the Maiden Emblem, a ring who both awaken and powered Psychic Powers.

Misao use then and nothing happen, Alice escort Misao the her apartament and found who the superior top is destroyed and the police is arresting a man called Arturo Leone, member of a organization called The Circle of Revelations (This happens in same time than Bran's first story).

Misao apartament is damaged and say who Fixer-man (a man who has the power of repair all damage to the psychical builds) just can repair it tomorrow. Misao is invited to Alice apartament, she sleep in the apartament and tomorrow she accompanying Alice to meet a girl nicknamed The Orphan Princess (real name: Nadia) who is member of a muslim-like culture.

In the road the three girls are attacked by a general of the army who want kill Nadia, the general is revealed as a member of the Circle and Misao re-active the Emblem. Becoming a member of The Maidens of Eternal, all of this in order to save Nadia. When Nadia reveal be a member of The Maidens too Misao is shocked by know who a princess like Nadia become a member of a organization so dangerous.

Misao discover who Nadia is the daughter of the lead of Bloodriver, a city who now is taken by the leader of The Circle of the Revelation, Benjamin of the Flame.

Nadia happens by very bad things to escape. They Alice forced Misao to live with Nadia in her own apartament (now rebuilded).

And then the real story start.


Misao discover who Caroline was The Ace of The Maidens, she become too obsesed with be so great like her but fails. Then she discover Caroline's dirty secrets. Caroline was a nice girl but very bad in Living a Double Life. She just heartbroken her boyfriend and lost nearly all her friendships, Misao's can't accept it and try to deny that.

Misao become the best friend of Nadia, who despite her stoic look has a very bad case of PTSD after see how many of her own people was murdered by Benjamin and the Circle.

A major point is who Misao is becoming like Caroline, a Living Emotional Crutch to a girl with big emotional issues and forgetting her own.

Misao take a time to accept who Caroline was far to perfect and finally get peace with it when she can use the Maiden emblem to talk with a ilusion based in Caroline and discover the full story. She finally accept it

Caroline make stupid thing , she was a jerk to people who was nice to her, she wasn't perfect. But she was my friend, she was worried for me. She was worried for many. Caroline was flawed, me too. She was my friend and never was always for me. But she was when i need her and i've glad for it all my life
.

When is about her fights (becuase is a action based story) she has fights, and i try to make her competent at the same time who i remember who she is a rookie. She is mostly saved and helped by other females, so i think who avoid sexism (?). (Brandon, the male POV, is helped by others, males and females. I don`t think who isn`t sexist too).

Misao eventually take levels on badass, she become into a competent fighter and stop try to imite Caroline style. She create her own style based into others, even her enemies. She is knowed as the Purple Unicorn (by her most powerful attack, the Unicorn of Future).

Misao was the first Female MC who i create, so is my first attemp.


Notes:

The Circle of the Revelations, the villains can be descripted as a mix between a Satanist Cult and terrorists. Some members are infiltred in several place.

edited 4th Dec '15 4:23:57 AM by KazuyaProta

Watch me destroying my country
Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#716: Dec 4th 2015 at 1:26:41 PM

[up]Oh. Just... oh. She had it rough. It doesn't come across as too Grimdark, but certainly rough. I really like the Character Development she's going through over the course of the story, it feels natural and in a good direction. As for this sexism note, I'd say you don't have to avoid showing her being saved by men from time to time if she works in both-genders unit.


Having now finished with the main quarted, I'd like to put some supporting cast here. First off are parents of Reil, the MC/Deuteragonist.

  • Name: Llewen Cigfran
  • Age: 57
  • Appearance: Llewen is a bit taller than his son and rather powerfully built, as he tries to keep in shape. He has brown eyes with wrinkles around them, and keeps his black (albeit graying) hair cut short, military-style. He's balding, but doesn't try to cover it.
  • Personality: Having pretty much Seen It All, he's rather laid-back, devoting his time to reading or hunting and showing very little interest in politics. He's content with being under his wife's heel and accepts that her profession often requires her to hide something from him, put herself in danger or bring strange people home, being supportive of her all the way. He smiles a lot and enjoys social life of the high-born. His one and only Berserk Button is well-being of his son and while he won't go full-on Unstoppable Rage on anyone to dare suggest something bad may happen to Reil, he's a great believer in vengeance best served cold. He becomes somewhat more reserved after Lady Cigfran's death.
  • Abilities: He's got great aim with a rifle and is downright excellent with sabre. More important, however, is his social position and contacts he has with pretty much "everybody who's anybody" in the capital's highest spheres, as well as Tír Taugh's military command. Adding his riches, he can have most of the door opened for him and the heroes.
  • Weaknesses: He's not a young man anymore, which makes him rather a non-action character, and his recent ignorance in politics means he might not always catch on important clues. His high social position also means that he can't act officially against the Big Bad without ironclad proof, and well, the Big Bad has Compelling Voice, which can't be discounted.
  • Goals: First and foremost, to protect his son. Saving his country and the world comes secondary and tertiary.
  • Motivation: He's a Papa Wolf and a dutiful servant of the Queen. He also wants to avenge his wife and stop Cawleth.
  • Role in the story: Reasonable Authority Figure and a Big Good of sorts for the heroes.
  • Backstory: Coming from a family with proud military traditions, Llewen enrolled into cavalry as an officer and was promptly sent to the frontline to the north of the country, where ongoing trouble with mountainous tribes was happening. It was there that he met his future wife, Innadin, an agent for the Lord Dagger of the time, there to gather and pass on information about movement of the enemy. They returned to the capital after Innadin had to assume responsibilities of Lady Dagger and got married, then discovered they can't have a child and so made a deal with a witch to get one.note  When Reil turned eleven, Llewen, then a general, retired from the army to be able to better protect his son, which is what him and Innadin were doing for the next five years. After Reil turned sixteen and the witch had to stop hunting him, Llewen decided to finally have some long-overdue rest and stayed in retirement, though he still cultivates some contacts "just in case".
  • Relevant Tropes:
    • Papa Wolf: While he understands the realities of army life, he absolutely won't let anyone home threaten Reil - not to mention the five years he had to keep the boy from witch's clutches.
    • Big Fancy House: Owns one, complete with a park of acreage counted in hectars.
    • Seen It All: Having been in the army for fifteen years - and Innadin's husband for thirty two - there's little he has not seen.
    • The Stoic: His only reaction to his wife's supposedly-dead apprentice showing at his door looking like she's been through a wrangler and accompanied by a shirtless, spirsele commoner is raising of eyebrows and offering Chevier something to put on.
    • Idle Rich: His main occupation these days.
    • Retired Badass: His subordinates remember him pretty fondly from the times of war.
    • Spot Of Tea: He lives in a Britain-equivalent and drinks copious amounts of tea.
    • Henpecked Husband: And happy to remain one.
    • Happily Married: Not as rare among the nobility as it used to be, but him and Innadin are still in love with each other.
    • Best Served Cold: He's vindictive. And patient. And very good at preparations.
    • Break His Heart to Save Him: He tries to keep Reil away from the whole witch business, which has strained and still strains their relationship.
    • Stepford Smiler: Has shades of this, especially after Innadin is killed.
    • The Reliable One: After Cawleth, he's literally the first person the heroes turn to for help. They're not wrong.
    • The Mole: Of sorts. He's the heroes' source on the workings inside the Royal Palace.
    • Reasonable Authority Figure/Big Good: He offers support, social "push" and help to the heroes.

edited 5th Dec '15 9:20:31 AM by Kakai

Rejoice!
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#717: Dec 4th 2015 at 5:03:17 PM

[up] Interesting, sound like a case of Badass parent but bad parent. I kinda like him, he is a Jerk with a Heart of Gold

edited 4th Dec '15 5:03:42 PM by KazuyaProta

Watch me destroying my country
Ikedatakeshi Baby dango from singapore Since: Nov, 2015 Relationship Status: Singularity
Baby dango
#718: Dec 4th 2015 at 7:53:24 PM

[up][up]Wait, how does saving the world come third in priority? Wouldn't The End of the World as We Know It include the country?

Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#719: Dec 5th 2015 at 9:13:25 AM

[up]...rrright, it doesn't exactly make all the sense. I was thinking something about "he cares about his country more than he cares about the rest of the world", but now that you point it out... yeah.

[up][up]Thanks, though I must admit I wasn't really envisioning him as a Jerk, heart of gold or not. If I may, what makes him jerkass-y?

Rejoice!
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#720: Dec 5th 2015 at 5:59:19 PM

[up] His huge stoic actitude. And the fact who he put his own son over his country.

Watch me destroying my country
hellomoto Since: Sep, 2015
#721: Dec 5th 2015 at 9:55:03 PM

Seems fairly reasonable to put your family over country. It could be just as Jerkassy to put country over family!

Ikedatakeshi Baby dango from singapore Since: Nov, 2015 Relationship Status: Singularity
Baby dango
#722: Dec 6th 2015 at 12:42:09 AM

I just finished making a main character for my new story. It's set in anime Japan with several anime-like characters, so don't expect much realty in certain things. The Verein, a secret group that was started by a group of influential members of society that gathered in Germany after WW 2. It was created to prevent dictators from coming to power, but turned into a large organization that influences the world behind the scenes. Members include several of the world's richest people, politicians, criminal organizations, military officials, law enforcers etc. Their main objective is to eliminate undesirable people and organizations to build a better society, through any means necessary. They hire several normal citizens to act as observers for the organizations and look for people that are considered undesirable. After giving reports to the higher ups, the people mentioned would be checked thoroughly. If they fail to meet certain conditions, they will die. How they die depends on the situation. They will give a second chance first for those deemed salvageable, and will help them secretly if they need help to change themselves. Note that "undesirable" does not mean poor, handicapped or any other groups. Undesirables are those that commit crimes but escape by exploiting legal loopholes, serial criminals, criminal organizations, anybody engaged in corruption etc. Teenagers that are considered worthless and would only cause trouble in the future are also on their list.

Name: Kikuchi Akio

Age:17

Appearance: Short black hair with dull, brown eyes. He is of average height and is well built due to exercising. He is usually seen wearing his school uniform or a jersey jacket,T-shirt and brown pants.

Personality: To those who don't know him well, they would describe him as mysterious, weird or quiet. He is nonchalant to almost everything, and doesn't show much emotion on his face, thus comes across as apathetic. He is often in deep thought about the people that he has reported to the organization and is trying to contemplate their reasons for being who they are and the ethics in his actions. He is observant about others and usually thinks about the reasons for certain social norms and behaviors. He is closest to his aunt, who took him in after his mother died. He is grateful to her, and is protective of her due to her sometimes getting in trouble since she is a Intrepid Reporter. Suffers from intellectualization, where he removes himself emotionally from stressful events.

Abilities: Originally an average student, he doesn't have any particular skills. He is adept in planning, is observant and decisive, thus is a natural leader. He makes friends with some members of Verein so that he could use their resources without authorization from the higher ups, which is usually against the rules to prevent others from noticing their existence. He is good enough to cover his tracks so the higher ups won't notice. Know some martial arts from his aunt who trained in Judo and his bodyguard.

Weakness: Looses composure when something happens to his aunt and acts rashly. His misuse of the resources of the organization is risky and he would be killed if they found out, thus he can't act freely. His nonchalant attitude to everything makes it difficult for him to make normal friends.

Goals: To live a normal life.

Motivations: He didn't join the organization by choice, since refusing means death to keep the organization a secret.

Role in Story: Being one of the organization's observers, his job is to find people that need to be eliminated. This sometimes gets him into bigger problems, such as finding a group of serial killers, cults, terrorists etc, who would try to kill him. His aunt gets into such problems much more frequently, needing him to save her while trying to keep his job a secret.

Backstory: He was born from a teenage pregnancy. His mother was abandoned by his boyfriend after he found out. She wanted to keep the baby against her family's wishes and left home. She then got married to another man, believing him to be a good guy. However, after losing his job, said man became an abusive drunkard who constantly beat up his mother and him. Akio, never cried or resisted, knowing he is too weak to fight back. His mother didn't know much about parenting, and had to work long hours, thus he never grew up normally. His classmates take advantage of his lack of resistance to bully him, yet he still never reacted. His complete apathy to everything started to freak them out, thus his bullies stopped. His behavior isolated him, so he never formed any attachment to anyone. When he was 16, his stepfather was killed by a member of the organization. Akio saw the scene, thus the killer had to kill him too, but the killer decided to offer him to join the organization. Akio accepted his offer so he won't be killed. His mother committed suicide soon after, believing the stepfather abandoned them. Akio was taken in by his mother's younger sister. She felt guilty from not stopping her sister, thus she cared for Akio greatly. Due to her being the only person that actually showed him care, he also cares for her greatly.

Relevant Tropes:

Anti-hero:Considering he knows the organization sometimes keep some of the healthier ones alive to harvest their organs for people needing organs transplants, alongside other amoral stuff, he definitely qualifies.

Pragmatic Hero: Does his job in the most effective way possible.

True Neutral: Doesn't care for his work nor about people that are not close to him.

Neutral Good Turns into this after character development.

The Stoic: The only way to change his facial expression is to threaten his aunt and friends. Start smiling more often as time goes on.

Creepy Child: Considered this by many, causing his isolation.

Parents in Distress: His aunt really isn't the most cautious person.

Beware the Nice Ones: When people interact with him, he usually reacts nicely, but if he think you're a threat, you are dead meat.

The Quiet One: Rarely speaks with others.

BlakBasket Since: Dec, 2015
#723: Dec 6th 2015 at 9:45:19 AM

Hello everyone. I’m a new member of this site. I’m currently working on a series I hope I will be able to turn into as a source of entertainment in the future (whether it’ll be a novel, comic, animation, ect.) I have been fishing around the site for a while for tropes that would help me develop my story and would like some feedback how defined my characters are up to this point. With that said, I’ll start off with my main protagonist.

Name : Seiren Jade Kasugano Age: 15 -17 Appearance: Seiren is about 5ft 5in in height. She has long, poofy dark brown that she keeps in a ponytail tied by a white scrunchie and deep green eyes. She wears a sailor uniform as her casual attire, with a white top, black skirt and black shorts underneath. She wears brown dress shoes and black socks.

Personality: Seiren is a really wise and genuinely smart girl. She does her best to be polite and nice as possible even around her family and friends. She’s modest and tries to see the more good side of the world rather than bad, which leads to her being naïve in a way. Seiren can be rather heavily sarcastic at times which throws people off considering her polite nature.

Abilities: Seiren has the access to supernatural powers, that being magic. However in series, magic is depicted as a low level Reality Warping, as you’re turning mere imagination into a reality. With this, Seiren gains Elemental Powers, that being ice. Her magic then grows much stronger over the intercourse of first having them, which then turns Religion Is Magic type, as she granted with the divine power of creating Miracles and having Sacred Bow and Arrows.

Weakness: Seiren is actually a Workaholic Perfectionist to the point where she doesn’t know when to take a break and ultimately overexerting herself causing her to become extremely fatigue. Seiren is also impatient with people sometimes when nothing gets done and all they do is laze around doing nothing. This is mostly due to a Family Relationship Switcheroo -esque thing as she takes the role of cleaning, cooking and keeping her two brothers out of trouble while their mom works overseas and their dad works the night shift.

Goals: At first, it’s a There’sNoPlaceLikeHome, but after she defeats the Multiversal Conqueror, it transfers to a Save All Worlds.

Motivation: It’s a mixture of The Power of Friendship, The Power of Love and Undying Loyalty. Her friends and family inspire her to keep fighting and to do what she thinks is right and vice versa.

Role in the story: Seiren’s role is more trying to do what’s right spiritually

Backstory: Seiren Kasugano grew up in a family of five: Bridgett (Mother), Toma (Father), Keitaro (Older Brother), Satoshi (Younger Brother). Her mother works overseas and comes home 4 times a year. Her father works as an air traffic controller but takes the night shifts. Leaving the three siblings to spend most of the time with each other. One evening, Keitaro and his friends decided they wanted to investigate a supposedly haunted house nearby. Seiren decides to tag with them in order to keep him out of harm’s way. When all doesn’t go according to plan, Seiren and Keitaro end up in an argument, in which Seiren scolds him for being a horrible role model for Satoshi. Seiren then leaves in a temper. It just so happens she is pulled by a supernatural force and becomes Trapped in Another Dimension. There, she immediately attacked by a {{Youkai.}} After some attempts to escape from it, Seiren luckily finds a two human-looking Yokai through Sealed Good in a Can and entrust her with a bow that was designed to purify evil. After Seiren successfully but unskillfully defeats the Youkai, The Chooser of the One sees enormous potential in her and directs her to the main city, Reborn.

Relevant Tropes:

Skilled, but Naïve: Seiren is fairly good and becomes extremely talented with her powers, but her real issue is the lack of understanding of The Multiversal hierarchy and its meta-point of view.

All-Loving Hero: She is against the idea of killing anyone, even if they are pure evil, and would rather purify them instead.

Beware the Nice Ones: Seiren’s kind, compassionate, and can Beam Spam her opponents to a pile of minced meat……mercifully of course. Is also shockingly sarcastic at times.

I Just Want to Be Normal: Her attitude when she just wants to go home to her family.

Magical Girl: Downplayed. Her Miracle form turns her into one but only transforms when dealing the final blow to main Antagonists.

Fatal Flaw: Her hard working behavior makes her impatient and eventually leads to her over exhausting herself more often.

Love Epiphany: Soon develops feelings for the Deuteragonist, Hideki.

edited 13th Dec '15 5:47:20 PM by BlakBasket

Well, what do you think everyone? ~
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#724: Dec 6th 2015 at 10:17:10 AM

[up] and [up][up] need post your thougts of others write-ups.


[up] A Magical Girl?. Funny, i posted about one in this same page...

I like her, i'd liked watch a series protagonizated by her, also i like how her role as the big sis has become her into a perfectionist girl.

edited 6th Dec '15 11:05:32 AM by KazuyaProta

Watch me destroying my country
NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#725: Dec 12th 2015 at 4:24:54 AM

Well, interesting, a magical girl. Seems to play with a lot of the usual tropes, though with a more spiritual edge than recent works. Should be interesting to read about.

Now, this next guy...well, designing him and his troubles took a surprising amount outta me.

  • ”I've made mistakes...and I'll atone for each one.”

  • Name: Dolph Gradich

  • Appearance: Dolph basically looks like a short haired, more rugged and fiercer version of Matthew, and there is a very good reason for this. He mostly wears black coats and button up shirts.

  • Age: eternally 27

  • Personality: Dolph Gradich is a very conflicted man, being one of a few men with a conscience in 1930s / 40s Germany. What is more, he has had to do a lot for his family, including his chronically ill aunt and his economically poor younger brothers and sisters. It is made very clear that he has utterly no racial hatred or sentiments, making his affiliations extremely taxing. He is however loyal to Germany if not to the “Party that makes Hate a God.” Following the end of the war, Dolph decided that he needed to make a change, and that he would not allow such a thing to ever happen again. On the run from a tremendous variety of forces, Gradich found the time to meet Matthew's mom. The two fell deeply in love, but she ended up horribly injured by Lord Felix's grandson, who went at them for revenge. He has no idea if this woman is alive she is, but is in witness protection. In terms of deeper personality, Gradich is characterized as having a much quicker temper than Matthew, but having a similar outlook to his son. He would like to help people and make sure they're safe from supernatural menaces, with no reward nor promotion ahead of him. He is also very protective of Kristof, his “apprentice”, and a son of a family friend killed by The Harpy. Gradich also tends to say things Matthew would keep to himself, making him a more vocal Deadpan Snarker.

  • Abilities: Dolph – for the good of a small town community ravaged by a strange tree – took into himself a frighteningly powerful Vesper Core which let him make strange petals that can shift into the form of swords. It also dramatically amplified his personal Mana resources and human abilities. It also made him, functionally, eternally 27. He's also, unlike Matthew, practised in other forms of magic beyond just Weapons Spells.

  • Weaknesses: Hitting the place the Vesper Core merged with him causes extreme pain. His main Fatal Flaw is his bizarre and extreme Brutal Honesty. He is very prone to making himself look more evil than he actually is.

  • Goals: The Atoner, Dolph believes “what happened to Felix” is his fault, as is the fact Nazi Germany did not fall sooner.

  • Motivation: Make sure his son is safe, later on, and early on, try to keep Germany safe from the worst elements of the supernatural world he fell into out of loyalty to the common people.

  • Role in the Story: deeply flawed protagonist of New Dawn Minus 0. He later shows up for a surprise father reveal.

  • Backstory: Dolph grew up in the streets and in a home that was basically falling apart, with five siblings and a struggling father and mother. They were cared for quite a lot by Angela, the aforementioned aunt, so when she got sick, Dolph stepped up and tried to be the provider. He was naturally quite an athlete and wrestler, so when he saw a military job, he signed right up for it, hoping the pay check was generous enough to pay for his aunt's medicine. In Dramatic Irony, the blond haired, blue eyed Dolph concealed disdain for the “malignant nonsense policies” the National Socialists advocated. When he was deemed “sufficient”, he was sent off for his fateful mission to that town to investigate on Dr. Welker's orders. Hence he was grouped together with some others into the “3rd Specialized Brigade”, in other words, a secret group of SS operatives devoted to fighting supernatural monsters. Over the course of the war, he fights both The Harpy and Lord Felix. By the end, however, Dolph defeats Felix and sends him into a Villainous Breakdown...and Gradich realized he'd basically broken his archnemesis. Feeling utterly guilty over this, he doesn't exactly feel better when he sees what his own side had been doing just out of sight. “Death Camps, Extermination, Killing for the sake of...of what!?” He makes a last stand, trying to invoke Redemption Equals Death defending his old home town from Russian forces, but ends up waking up on a train out of Germany, seeing the full devastation war brought. From there, he decides to make sure this never – ever – happens again. This manifests later as a particularly cunning bit of trickery – he puts up a front of being a part of the Paladin Group, taking in various young members of Right Wing groups...only to over time introduce them to more egalitarian mindsets. He managed to accomplish this right under Sharon Tate Roman and Ignius' noses.

Tropes:

  • Academy of Evil: Gradich graduated from a very brutal school. “On hindsight and that movie from 2004, its a miracle my sanity and my conscience made it through alright.”
  • Adult Fear: For Dolph, who became a Parental Substitute / surrogate older brother for Kristof, seeing him almost get killed by a gun ambush by Felix's forces, only barely averting the boy's death. And then he sees his surrogate son “die” when a Soviet Tank Shell smashes into his transport vehicle. And now You know why Dolph was so averse to putting Hans or Claus in danger, especially in this site's Morimune High School RP. The last time he let an apprentice of his in danger, he got blown up.
  • Arch-Enemy: Lord Felix, due to the circumstances of their fights and what Dolph learned of him. The two battled almost constantly throughout World War II, but by the end, Dolph ends up driving Felix insane after the truth of who Felix really was is revealed, and all the lies crash down.
    • ''“You...faked...being a Jew...FOR SOME FUCKING SYMPATHY POINTS!?” Followed by Gradich punching Felix in the face, “My side has committed atrocities, real atrocities, against that people, I see horror and degradation, my loyalty and honor are to monsters and are worth little now, and you...you, after all this valor talk and great resistance against dominion, you at the end of the day want to rule Europe as its sole King. You betrayed your own fellows, you fabricated a story and trivialized the suffering of millions all for your own self gratification! What makes you, you loathsome, hateful man, any different than Hitler!?”
    • My God, What Have I Done?: Dolph hated Felix, but seeing what the above speech did to Felix made Dolph put Felix on a boat with Leticia Stone, Felix's Daughter, and let them leave. He spends the entire time watching the boat disappear crying. He knew he had to defeat Felix, and calling all that out was right, but that didn't make seeing his archfoe go insane and have a total Heel Realization / epiphany any easier or make him feel Felix deserved insanity.
  • The Atoner: Dolph learned exactly what he was defending, and what he let happen, blaming himself for both driving Felix insane and the fact some of those menaces might've been intended to stop what was going on. Its pretty telling that his immediate reaction to learning what his country was putting so many resources into was to try to slug Welker in the face.
  • Beach Episode: The one reprieve the brigade gets. Dolph, Kristof and the others go to the beach, managing to drag Leon along too. Much bizarre ho yay ensues.
  • Berserk Button: In the modern day, voice Anti-Semitism. Any anti-semitism. Go on, see what it gets you.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Rescues Kristof from The Harpy.
    • He also gets out of his Achilles in His Tent fugue to rescue his brigade during the overwhelming Red Army offensive, including fighting against numerous other magic users at once, as well as making sure the endangered civilians of the local townships escaped the battlefield.
    • He also drops in when The Harpy tried to trap Matthew in one of her Isolated Spaces, blasting right through a supposedly invincible barrier to reach the pocket dimension.
  • Black-and-Grey Morality: Its a story about a guy fighting various monsters and sorcerers in...Nazi Germany. Gradich is an Anti-Hero first because of the country he fights for and some of his allies, and secondly because he's more willing to be brutal to his enemies. However, by the end, Dolph realized how bad things were and what his country had done, and wonders whether he falls into the grey – preventing The Harpy's “monument to nonexistence” plan – or in the black – preventing the Reich from falling sooner and thus letting the higher ups commit their ghastly crimes.
  • Black Comedy: Much of the humor revolves around the various bizarre German personalities. Bizarre personalities involved with many crimes. And among the villains, the comedy revolves around Felix's many strange plans in between his actually serious ones. I suppose you could call them...antics.
    • Kristof is an exercise in this. The same Tyke-Bomb Training from Hell that makes him a deadly Badass Normal fighter made him hilariously devoted to handling every single order Dolph Gradich gives. And he always somehow accomplishes them. Even when they seem like impossible, sarcastic orders.
  • Bothering by the Book: He manages to survive in cutthroat and amoral Nazi Germany...by knowing what High Command wants, what his orders are, and how he's the only one with a clue how magic works, as well as what is expected of his office and oath, and what he ACTUALLY feels honor and loyalty towards and how to entwine these things so as to get something done.
  • Break the Cutie: Dolph gets broken really badly, though no matter how bad things get for him, he never quite succumbs to despair until near the end. After seeing what he's seen and realizing what's gone on, who could blame him?
    • In his pre-teen years, its mentioned he got along poorly with other boys in the Hitler Youth. He was “soft”, living in a Social Darwinist society. One other boy Dolph considered a friend fed a rabbit little Dolph had grown fond of to a hungry dog and thought he was doing Gradich a favor.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Lampshaded in regards to SS uniform. “There is a skull on my cap, I was sworn in with a sword, our symbol is two lightning bolts, and we wear all black. In all your stories, auntie, people like that are...bad guys.” He realized just how bad his side was later.
  • The Chains of Commanding: By the time of his final stand, he's the lone technically high rank officer in the area. He has to knowingly send men off to die, and he forces himself to learn their names so he doesn't make too many mistakes.
  • The Dead Have Names: He can even recite them. “Albrecht Krause. Died to a Red's machine gun. K-Kris...Kristof...Abeln...died when his transport was hit...b-by a tank round. Albert Achterberg...perished right next to me...”
  • Deadpan Snarker: What Matthew keeps in his head, Dolph says out loud. He has to keep it under control during World War II, but usually gets some technically servile comments in that smell of snark.
    • He also snarks on his family resemblance to Matthew, “Well, you...basically look like me with an ill advised mullet and your mother's face.
  • Downer Ending: Many, many, many of Dolph's friends die. He sees Kristof die not really. Kris lived after all. His brigade composed of numerous professional soldiers he grew close to through the defensive mission and many young soldiers subjected to Training from Hell with nowhere to return to? Most of them die too. Dolph ends the book on Otto Skorzeny's train out of Germany, the stone-faced SS man crying and bawling in realization of just what had been done, and how ultimately many, many millions lost their lives, and everything he sees is rubble. “Hitler came to Berlin and it was a city of men. Hitler left Berlin, and Berlin was a city of death, sorrow and loss – he brought us here, and he committed suicide to take the easy way out.” Absolutely nobody – villain or hero – ends THAT book in a good place.
    • The villains? Felix has gone insane, lost his influence and his daughter's loyalty, is heading to America with nothing but the rags and staff on his back. He manages to recreate a power base, but by the seventies, he's faded out again with no recovery. By the 2010s, Matthew accidentally runs into his familial archnemesis while going after Felix's crazy son who was reported to be stalking a woman. The Harpy lost her dad's favor and if its possible went even crazier. History follows with High Command's fates, with Dolph barely managing to get in three sentences with Speer before his historical death.
  • Evil Counterpart: Dolph has a couple. Reinhard Heydrich most notably. Dolph states he was – despite being a spell-slinging juggernaut – always frightened by Heydrich. Its mentioned that Heydrich “both liked Herr Gradich and wanted so badly to get Spellkraft so as to fight and kill him at long last.”
  • Exact Words: Gradich – when he needs to do good – can exploit exact words so as to make the bureaucracy work for him.
  • Famous Last Words: Subverted. While overclocking his Vesper Core to defend Friedrich and the others, as the Soviet Army riddles him with bullets, he whispers, “My honor...is loyalty...to all my friends and family.” He “dies” with a bitter smile on his face. Good thing Odin picked that moment to start growing his conscience.
  • Foreshadowing: Dolph beats up two of the bullies in his younger days, taking them to be the guys who fed his rabbit to that dog. As he commences, two lightning bolts flash above, showing his usually innocent blue eyes to be icy now. he also regrets the extremes of violence he went to, and was disturbed when the bullies started being friendly toward him.
  • From Bad to Worse: Gradich's experience in the World War II arc is as follows; when he was young, his own best friend fed a rabbit he was fond of to some hungry dogs. Dolph gets angry, beats up two bullies thinking they did it, and feels guilty about it. He is disturbed when he's instead congratulated by his teacher instead of punished. Then his aunt starts to get sick and he has to take care of his numerous siblings and relatives. Years later, he needs a job, and he sees this paramilitary position open...and he has to fight some more to prove his worth, and is confronted by how disgusting the regime is. He meets Dr. Welker early on and the still surprisingly cheerful new recruit signs up for what he doesn't know should've been a suicide mission. And then the Harpy gets involved.
  • Heel Realization: Of his side's true evil. He literally gets sick on seeing the documents and the detached tone used therein and vomits. Consider everything he's seen until that point.
  • Heroic Sacrifices: Dolph's Brigade suffers some pretty mean fates as World War II approaches its end.
    • I Will Only Slow You Down: Mueller jokes that he finally broke his shoes before whispering that he's “not cut out for this Spellkraft business, but I can stall the enemy one last time. Report to ze Fuhrer for me.” Dolph shouts after him – realizing he turned the captured Spell Cores into a superpowered bomb vest. “Report to Hitler yourself! Mueller, stop!” He then whimpers, “...Stop...”
    • Jumping on a Grenade: Albert jumps on not any grenade, but a Spellkraft Grenade, which would stand to blow him and Dolph to pieces. He...decides he'd rather confine the death to himself right now. “Goodbye, Guest Instructor Gradich. I...always looked up to---
    • Self-Destructive Charge: Andres Beck, aka the big guy teenager with a lot of weapons. He charges the Soviet Line to prevent them from charging in on a township yet to be evacuated. He's riddled with almost sixty bullets, but absolutely refused to die until they were no threat to that township.
    • Taking the Bullet: Bernhard Cline jumps in front of one Russian Mage's instant death fireball, letting Dolph kill the said Russian Mage. There's not enough left of him to bury.
    • Not Afraid to Die: Friedrich Carver, who comes close to dying numerous times and before Dolph himself comes close to death, he thinks he sees Friedrich get mowed down. it was a nonlethal shot, but Friedrich ended up playing dead, and survived the war.
  • Historical Domain Character: He interacts with some incredibly unsavory ones. After finishing fighting The Harpy, Dolph had to report directly to Heinrich Himmler. He also interacted with Reinhard Heydrich, who Dolph described as “faked being funny. Chatted with me like a friend. Completely and utterly soulless. I saw it in his eyes. There was no love for anyone living or dead.”
  • Hope Spot: It looks like Dolph's magic, enhanced abilities and innovative tactics have resulted in a successful counterattack on the Red Army. Morale is surging! Maybe they can even save Berlin! And NOPE, Stalin's local commander – in the know about magic – sends in his elite spell-slinging agents and pulls a We Have Reserves, one of his tanks “killing” Kristof in the process.
  • Ho Yay: That. Beach. Trip. The wrestling in the sand. The photo. Basically a love letter to my straight female and gay male audience.
    • Overlaps with No Yay – Goebbels tries to make a propaganda flick starring Gradich. Involves copious shirtless Dolph Gradich as Goebbels says “I want to show the muscular perfection of the Aryan male through your form.” Dolph gulps and thinks to himself, Mein Gott im himmel. Help me.
  • Irony: Like Heydrich, a tall, muscular, blond, blue eyed guy. Who, despite his affiliation, only ever wanted to keep his family and country safe. He secretly despised Nazi Ideology, and these were his exact words on the Holocaust as he stands, alone, in Wannsee, “Heydrich you son of a fucking bitch!! This was your pet project!? This! You should be glad you're dead, because if you weren't I'd pound the life out of you myself!”
  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: One way or another, you will let Mr. Gradich know how to save lives. Being he trained in the SS, he knows some very, very nasty ways of making you hurt. He doesn't like doing them, but if it keeps the common man safe, he's willing and able. At least he's nice enough to make sure you don't die, unlike his comrades.
  • Last Stand: The last parts of New Dawn Minus Zero's “World War II” part are literally called Dolph Gradich's Last Stand. He puts up a stand alongside a cobbled together brigade of young soldiers and his allies. Gradich manages to delay the Soviets long enough to guarantee the survival of numerous townships and such places...but nearly the entire supporting cast dies.
  • The Lost Lenore: As if Dolph needed any more trauma. He marries the woman of his dreams and has a son with her named Matthew. However, Ignius intervenes using the guise of Felix, and Dolph thinks he loses the woman he loved the reality being that Felix's daughter saved his wife and made sure she rested and recuperated. Note that not even this makes Gradich slip into any form of misanthropy or give in to despair.
  • Measuring Day: His first real day in the SS, involving intense physical tests...and measuring his skull and testing how blond and blue his hair and eyes are. Gradich is shown looking at the other applicants, including people who may well not pass such an utterly superficial test and biting down anger.
  • Mr. Fanservice: Unlike Matthew, a more rugged version. The uniform also works for him very well. Felix's daughter even says, “So, you're my father's neme—-ooh. Those leather pants...those boots!
  • Nazi Protagonist: Though not a very usual one – he is a member of the SS, but the entire reason he joined was “it was a job that offered good money, in a time where money was hard to come by. My aunt was sick and dying. I did at the time what I thought was best.” It also helps his brigade by and large focused on the magical threats, though it is insinuated some of his friends weren't very forthcoming about what they knew.
  • Stepford Smiler: Keeps either a smile or a stoic look on his face most of the time, but deep down is sad and angry. An argument could be made for Gradich suffering from PTSD.
  • Suicide Mission: The job he was selected for had a low chance of his survival. Against the odds, he lived through the encounter with the Core, and as a result, his immediate superiors decided in the wake of the Harpy battle that they couldn't just be rid of him.
    • Dolph likewise didn't expect to live through his last stand against the Red Army. Thankfully, Odin saw the good in him and organized a retrieval operation.
  • State Sec: Part and parcel of one of the more infamous. Dolph much later lampshades some of the elements. “Let me tell you a little about who I joined. They swore me in with a real, genuine sword. There were separate barracks, separate housings, separate cafeteria for SS...I suspect separate bathrooms and lavatories were also present.” While it does work sometimes for him, it also makes ordinary people rightfully frightened to talk to him.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: Dolph is pretty much the “officer with a soul”. Some humor is derived of just how many stereotypes he runs into, they usually iterate their line and then we cut to Dolph facepalming.
    • The tight-assed bureaucratic one is named Mr. Mueller. Dolph usually comments, “If he cracks his shoes like that every time, they'll break eventually.” It finally happens near the end.
    • Kristof is basically the pretty blond drone. He will do LITERALLY anything Dolph asks him to. No matter how silly the request is, and he always somehow gets it done. Though he usually has a little pout whenever Dolph makes him do anything too silly. “...why do I need to get a goat? Do I even wanna know?” Extra points for being exceedingly innocent and cute looking.
    • Hochland is basically the leather clad Gestapo officer who is really creepily into Gradich. Who is always hilariously unaware of the homosexual I-guess-its-subtext of his statements. “Ooh, Dolphie, your manly muscles and gorgeous blond trusses give me such heat and inspiration...” How he managed to go undetected is a mystery.
    • Dr. Welker is the scientist obsessed with purifying the race, at first just appearing to be “the Nazi Nose Scientist and phrenologist”. He's also a running contender for Big Bad. His plans are always guaranteed to involve six different flavors of Sick and Wrong. Even other Nazis thought this guy was out of his gott-damned mind. It says a lot even Hitler only ever showed up to sign people to Welker and then hurry out before he actually has to see what Welker DOES to his victims. He's the kind of Herr Doktor that rips your stomach open, ties your intestines in a knot, gives you an unnecessary bladder for shits and giggles, sews you up, scalps you for a new wig, and then ensures you live so you can see what he has done to you.
    • The crooked officer / bureaucrat shows up as an adversary trying to use both Felix and Hitler to enrich himself. He gets abandoned and Dolph exposes him in front of all of High Command. Hitler's reaction? Shaking with rage and then ordering Gradich, “Summarily execute this treacherous rat.”
  • Undying Loyalty: He directs the motto of his service toward family, friends and country rather than Party and Fuhrer, albeit in secret. Deconstructed ultimately, his loyalty is betrayed every which way, torn apart, and then left in tatters, unrewarded and with no benefit. And his honor is exploited and used by guys like Himmler and Welker to better themselves.
  • Vast Bureaucracy: Much to Gradich's irritation. “If I have to write up another report today, my fingers may fall off...”
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: The spirit is subverted ultimately, but Dolph meets a new guy named Leon during a mission around the Soviet Territories. Leon is a believer in the doctrines of Nazi Germany, Dolph cannot stand them. They argue and make fun of one another, and by the end of the war, Dolph is wondering where, exactly, Leon went off to. The subversion comes post-war; Leon Degrelle went off to Spain, and Dolph ended up unpleasantly surprised by just how malevolent he turned out to be, and how willingly he towed Franco's line.


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