@Scriblerian: Will there be a romance with the Miss Darcy at some point? (Sorry, couldn't resist.) Does she have feeling in her prosthetics, or just at the join? Also, odd question, does a city block have the same proportions here as it does IRL? (The reason I ask is that at standard dimensions, one hundred square blocks is a 10*10 grid, or slightly over one square miles. Even a 100*100 grid is shade over 150 square miles, but about 17 miles diagonally- an area small enough that most people can just walk out. Might I recommend just making it a small city destroyed in civil warfare?)
@Taira: Is Veery passing? The existence of a wife says no (unless the Southern Cross has no legal institution of marriage beyond a social convention) but her ambassadorial status says yes. Unless the Cross is actively trying to antagonize the Union, appointing a lesbian ambassador sounds like a very stupid move. It can be easy to pass in the military (again, personal experience) but an ambassadorship is too prominent a role for most people to plausibly hide that sort of thing.
edited 30th Sep '13 2:25:27 AM by edgewalker22
rollin' on dubs
Veery is only passing around the Cay from the Union, as the Cay homeworld is now a Dystopia. It's a source of tension between the Southern Cross and the Union. Earth hates aliens but is willing to call a cease fire. The Union hates everyone but is more willing to deal with a Cay even if she's "corrupted" by alien (read human) values.
edited 30th Sep '13 5:17:02 AM by TairaMai
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor....@Edgewalker: nope, no romance. The other scientist is actually straight, and despite her aggressive behavior Elizabeth does respect that. Some words get said on the subject but Elizbeth's general attitude is "I wouldn't mind, you'd be fun, but you'd also have issues later and we need to work together." They become very good friends, but not in that way.
As to city size, I just goofed in the description; I pictured the Brighton Pit as being pretty big - but with a more civilized city wrapped around it - so I'll have to decide just how big I want to describe it as. Elizabeth got trapped there because she foolishly left her identification at home...and by the time she wanted out, she looked just like every other resident of the Pit and the police just chased her back into the pit with clubs rather than trying to help her. Yay class warfare. :D
As far as her prostheses go...they have rudimentary sensors which allow her to feel heat, cold and pressure. This feature is present to alleviate phantom limb syndrome, but it doesn't work perfectly. The joins also ache because the polymers which make them up and her own flesh just aren't a perfect match. And, other than having a few hidden compartments they don't do anything cool; they just replicate the function of a normal limb.
edited 30th Sep '13 2:21:49 PM by drunkscriblerian
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~@Taira: Gonna have to disagree with you here. Appointing a lesbian ambassador to the Union, even if she's willing to pass officially, is a disaster waiting to happen- if the Union finds out the resulting Cross-Cultural Kerfluffle could damage relations at a time they really need to not be damaged. Also, ambassador-ing is a full time job. Maybe she could be some sort of adjunct or lieutenant to the actual ambassador, so she has an official role in intergovernmental relationships without being the person who has to attend the state dinners?
@Scriblerian: Oh, cool. I was making a Pride And Prejudice joke, but hey. Also, if the limbs replicate pressure, heat, and cold, but not pain, I can see them having certain uses that normal limbs wouldn't have- especially if there's a psychological distance involved. It's easier to use your arm to wedge a door open if you know you can get a spare down at K-Mart, you know?
@Edgewalker: actually, her limbs are somewhat irreplaceable; the world is a scavenger economy when it comes to certain tech and prostheses like hers are expensive and rare. Why yes, they do have a few limited uses other limbs would not have - and since they don't feel "pain", if she wanted to go without a hand or a foot for a while yes she could do what you suggest. She isn't likely to, because the odds of her getting another one are somewhat slim.
Oh, and they are definitely not "quick detach"...getting one grafted on is a long process involving serious surgery. With tools she could detach, say one of her feet or her full leg replacement at the knee, but that would take time.
I will keep that in mind as a plot point though, thanks for pointing it out.
edited 30th Sep '13 8:08:13 PM by drunkscriblerian
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
rollin' on dubs
Right then, time for guy number two of the group of soldiers. Same story and everything, title still pending.
Name: Kiril Avdeyev
Age: Estimated at 33
Personality: A fairly happy man, he's taken the nuclear apocalypse well. Considering his comrades the same as family, he'd do anything for them. He's welcoming and does his best to treat people nicely and make them feel comfortable. He's fairly disillusioned with the military and hated his job there.
Abilities: A WW3 vet from the Russian army, he's no slouch when it comes to combat. He's got leadership skills and knows his tactics and strategies. He's also the happy driver and owner of a BTR-90 loaded for bear.
Weaknesses: Much like his comrades, the war, age, lack of proper food and the harsh conditions of the wasteland have taken their toll. Not as old as Mikhail but he's not exactly in his prime anymore. His tank has seen better days too.
Goals: Like everyone else, survive and finding the city. Once there he wants to start over without his family name hanging over him.
Motivation: Loves his comrades like they were his family and wants to see everyone make it to the city alive and well.
Role in the story: Supporting protagonist and someone to help teach Irina how to take care of their little mobile home.
Backstory: Was born into a massive illustrious military family he had a lot to live up to. Growing up he was surrounded by prestigious men with dozens of medals on their chests. He joined the military as soon as he was of age and did his best to live up to his family's expectations. He lead a successful career and thanks to the family name was on his way to becoming an esteemed officer before civilization went up in a nuclear fireball and ruined that career path.
Relevant Tropes: Think I got most of them down
Awesome Personnel Carrier: His BTR-90, NBC protected, 30mm cannon, coaxial 7.62, 30mm grenade launcher and guided missiles. Still has some of the original reactive armor plates and most of the optics are still functional. Being a late war model, it's got an Arena protective system.
Berserk Button: Any sort of welcoming attitude and composure goes completely out the window when his comrades are threatened.
Beware the Nice Ones: He becomes quite the scary man when that button is pressed.
Chest of Medals: Most people in his family had one of these, he had the beginnings of one but hated wearing his awards.
Closet Geek: Has a soft spot for science fiction novels, especially anything by the Strugatsky Brothers. He and Irina bond over this.
Could Say It, But...: A favorite way of telling the men under his command the true and often darker political reasons behind their orders.
Dirty Business: The the thing he hated most about his army career, it got worse as he grew in rank and was privy to more classified information.
The Driver: Drives the tank most of the time.
Family of Choice: Likes his comrades a lot more than his blood relatives. Eventually he considers Irina a part of his new family as well.
Guilty Pleasures: His love for science fiction both good and bad.
Internal Reformist: Tried to be one in the military, the world ended before he could make any significant progress.
Mildly Military: Normally he'd be in command of his 3 friends but after the bombs fell he's stopped caring and as far as everyone is concerned they're all equals.
Military Brat: Has family members in the army as far back as he can track.
Mr. Fixit: Does most of the maintenance and repairs on their home
Overranked Soldier: His name put him on the fast track for promotion. He wasn't too happy about receiving promotions over more qualified men because of it.
Outranking Your Job: Was always a lead from the front kind of man, anyone else would be behind a desk than in a tank in combat.
Reluctant Warrior: Never actually wanted to join the military, his experience in there just further proved his preconceptions.
Slave to PR: Not to his personal reputation but his family name. It was extremely restrictive to his efforts to make the army less political and corrupt.
Tanks, but No Tanks: Well the BTR-90 isn't actually a tank. It's either an APC or an IFV depending on who you ask.
War is Glorious: A favorite viewpoint of his family, he doesn't share the sentiment.
"Well Done, Son" Guy: Wanted to be a cosmonaut growing up but the pressure of living up to his family name was too much and he signed up as soon as he was of age.
edited 4th Oct '13 6:00:24 PM by LeGarcon
Oh really when?Seems like a likable military character whose struggle I can really get behind.
I hope to see where his internal reforms head.
Now, for a hero from the Roleplay of Geass forum I've been posting about for a while now.
- Name: Bezide Ascato
- Age: Physically 21. His actual age is closer to six months.
- Personality: You'd never really expect the clone of a cold Expy of Ribbons Almark to be like Bezide. He's a completely kind, understanding young man devoted to the ideal of protecting his loved ones, and "being needed". He likes to see the smiling faces of others, and hence, constantly tries to smile, even when he doesn't see anything to smile about. "We need to smile more." He is the type that never, ever, gives up, regardless how bad things get. He is rather clueless about social things, and seems entirely awkward when put into a social situation. He blushes really intensely if he's approached by girls. He has a quite sensitive nature, which seems to let him detect sadness.
- Abilities: Bezide is one of the strongest supersoldiers out there, being capable of detecting attacks before they occur, even when they come from invisible enemies and snipers. He alone can pilot the 0-Quantum Series, which is the UNLE's strongest KMF. Due to being a supersoldier with so much as his personality and mental works designed, he's also The Ace and almost a Canon Sue; he's simply good at absolutely everything.
- Weaknesses: He's also the Master of None; due to how he was made, whenever he gets too focused on one thing, he automatically shifts away from it to well round his skills, leaving him simply good at everything and not truly mastering anything except Knightmare Frame Combat. He also has a lot of trouble identifying with his peers, and is isolated and left perpetually lonely because he is resented for being simply made that good. In many ways, he deconstructs the hell out of a Marty Stu; he's lonely at the top, he feels like he's never really accomplished anything on his own, and he feels like he's nothing but a weapon.
- Goals: Chase the empire out of Europe. Defend the woman I love.
- Motivation: He met a girl named Jain. He felt a strong connection to her, even though they only knew each other at most thirty seconds. Or is it such?
- Role in the story: The Hero on the UNLE Side.
- Backstory: One of the clones of contender for Big Bad in the tail end of R2, Markos Alkhait, Bezide was created to be a supersoldier who could pilot the best AP using Frame Regine Empriste could churn out. This was the 0-Quantum series. Bezi decided on his own to save Europe, and fight off Britannia for his own reasons; "I am a man...before I am a clone!"
- Relevant Tropes:
- The Ace: "Perfect" at all instruments, excels at 30 martial arts, masterful pilot, and physically incredibly good looking, Markos made him to be The Hero.
- Broken Ace: Incredibly lonely, finds it difficult to make friends, cannot pilot anything but the 0-Quantum...
- Arch-Enemy: Mr. Aside, a terrorist who seems to have a very eerie connection to Bezide. Note the similarity in names. Mr. Aside also pilots the 1-Tachyon, and fully utilizes his abilities, while Bezide tries to live as a human. The 2-Tachyon even manages to give Forme Requiem mentioned below a huge struggle.
- Barrier Warrior: The 0-Quantum Tsurugi can
- Beam Spam: The 0-Quantum and its later Tsurugi add on were always heavy on this, but 0-Quantum Tsurugi Forme Requiem is utterly ridiculous. While technology in the RP proceeded further than it did in the Code Geass anime, Bezide's ultimate machine is simply ridiculous. Completely, hilariously ridiculous. It out-guns the likes of Strike Freedom and the Zabanya at 59 AP Beam weapons thrown on there, with most of them being all-range weaponry. Any time this thing fights will be pretty ridiculous. Though given the number of them, most of the time he is left as a single unit without much in the way of backup, so that he's not a friendly fire hazard.
- Berserk Button: Bezide is a guy none too fond of treachery. Nor is he fond of people changing their beliefs to suit a day by day basis.
- Beware the Honest Ones: Bezide is not Markos in many ways, one of them is honesty. If he says something, he's damn well gonna do it. Including "I am going to destroy that massive floating fortress." He does it.
- Bishōnen: In facial structure only. Otherwise, he has a rather Heroic Build, contrasting him to Markos, who looks tall, thin and androgynous.
- Black-and-Gray Morality: Bezide fights for a side that could be charitably described as State Sec. His closest friends are supporters of an expy of Ribbons Freaking Almark. And these people still manage to be sympathetic because of who, precisely, they're fighting.
- Cloning Blues: Seems like its affecting him of late.
- Crazy Awesome: Throwing your helmet at the head of a terrorist trying to hijack your KMF, kicking him in the face when he recovers, using his head to propel yourself up into your cockpit like a spring board, and then piloting it to slap the other terrorists in top of the end Frames silly, even when you only just got in there? You go Bezi.
- Deconstructor Fleet: A living, breathing one of Mary Sue and Self Insert tropes. He feels alien, and unliked, and is detested by the other students, he feels he has accomplished nothing of note on his own...
- The Dulcinea Effect: He met Jain for thirty seconds, before he decided she must be protected by him. On her end, she finds him rather clingy, and wants to prove she can protect herself just fine, thank you very much. They become a Battle Couple later.
- Evil Twin: Mr. Aside / Eternal Ashes, another clone of Markos, but one psychotically devoted to murdering both Bezide and Markos, seizing control of the supercomputer FATE, and then using FATE to erase free will. Not even Markos liked that idea. So Markos exiled Eternal, deleted his file portion from FATE, and took measures to ensure he would not succeed.
- Hero of Another Story: In the RP, you definitely get this vibe. My fanfic is said Other Story.
- Nice Guy: Kind, decent and warmhearted all describe Bezide...
- Beware the Nice Ones: Do not betray people or casually change your principles. And definitely don't leave your friends or allies to die. Otherwise, Bezide shows why he is to be bewared.
- Super Mode: C Junction
- Super-Soldier: made for the express purpose of heroic front line fighting.
- And he pilots Super Prototype machine The 0-Quantum, which is...different...from other UNLE machines. Its smaller, sleeker, and capable of wreaking all kinds of damage.
edited 12th Oct '13 5:43:14 PM by NickTheSwing
Could move into an annoying character or a Cannon Sue, but so far seems likable- if I were you, I'd avoid the Cloning Blues entirely for the more cheerful character.
Work-in-progress for the hero of my current brainchild.
Name: Sifer Niirim
Age: Fourteen when the story begins; it covers about seven years.
Personality: Calm, self contained, and deadpan. Very much the Wide-Eyed Idealist, and more passionate about things than she looks, quite naive when the story starts. Also an insane perfectionist, obsessed with things being right- although more out of a sense of moral obligation than any concern about what people think. Actually, her complete disregard for what people think is her defining trait.
Abilities: One of very few people with luck magic, which gives her enhanced physical performance, the ability to predict what the other person will do in a few seconds, and the ability to jinx other people....at least when she gets the hang of it. Also tougher than her appearance would suggest, and a good liar.
Weaknesses: Said luck magic, since, ah, she can't really control it at times. Also ignores things she doesn't like or can't deal with, and can be pretty darn rude, causing more than a few What the Hell, Hero? moments.
Goals: To become ruler of Halse, or otherwise get the best of her cousins for the job on the throne. Also, to generally improve the conditions of those with magic, despite never really thinking about it.
Role in the story: Main protagonist of the story. At first a bit of a Designated Hero, then a more fully heroic figure.
Backstory: Born to a very poor cadet branch of the Niirim family and at about four and a half was discovered to have luck magic. This was a problem as a) the succession of Halse, where the family had ruled for two hundred years, went to the person in the generation with luck magic, and b) there were already two young people with luck magic in the family already, Sifer's cousins. The current king decided to somewhat delay the inevitable succession crisis by ordering that each of the three present themselves in the capital when they turned sixteen to work for the government, and that until they were all of age their supporters were to make nice and keep out of trouble. By the time Sifer was fourteen, though, he was sick, old, and pretty much dying, and in a semi-panic she was called in early so they could get the whole 'who's going to be in charge' out of the way.
Relevant tropes:
- Bookworm: Would rather read than talk to people or do anything.
- The Jinx
- Deadpan Snarker
- Emotionless Girl
- Impoverished Patrician: Doesn't bother her much, though.
- Naïve Newcomer
- Selective Obliviousness
- The Perfectionist: Not because she cares what other people think, but because it makes her happy.
- The Quiet One: At least on the outside; she's much more emotional and energetic than she seems.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist
edited 22nd Oct '13 5:34:40 PM by Kesar
"Suddenly, as he was listening, the ceiling fell in on his head."
The Cloning Blues were already just a phase he goes through, before deciding that he's his own person.
And I see your point; while supposed to be a Deconstructor Fleet of Mary Sue tropes common in bad fanfic, I'll take steps to prevent him from becoming annoying.
![]()
I really like her even if I can't pronounce her name. I think it'd be interesting to see what happens if what she thinks is right might turn out to be bad for everyone else and how she'll deal with that, plus I love a good political power struggle so it'll be fun to see how that all pans out.
Name: Danila Vinogradov
Age: Estimated at 28
Personality: A friendly and energetic enough man he's always looking for some entertaining way to pass the time in the wasteland. He loves his friends and comes to care for Irina the same way.
Abilities: Was one of the better snipers around back in the day and a misspent youth ensures that he knows all about looting homes and cars, important knowledge in the post apocalypse.
Weaknesses: In addition to the harsh wasteland conditions and lack of truly healthy food taking their toll on his body, the loss of his eye has put a bit of a dampener on his shooting abilities.
Goals: Ensure the survival of himself and friends and find the city.
Motivation: He loves his friends and wants to see to their safety as much as they want to see to his, eventually when he reaches the city he plans to start over and live a proper life without falling into petty crime.
Role in the story: A supporting protagonist and someone to teach Irina how to shoot properly and how to properly break into and scavenge a location for anything useful in the wasteland.
Backstory: Was born into an extremely poor family, he fell into petty crime at a young age. His habit of casual car looting and home burglaries carried on until he was conscripted at 18 like everyone else. He quickly proved himself a good shot in the army and found himself in a good position there. Figuring that army life was better than breaking into cars he stayed after his year was up and sent his paychecks back to his family whenever he could. His family were presumed killed when the bombs fell and he's been wandering with his comrades since. Sometime after the nuclear holocaust but before he met Irina he lost his left eye, he's hesitant to say how exactly.
Relevant Tropes: May add more later as I remember the titles of them
Be All My Sins Remembered: Makes no effort to the hide the fact that he was a criminal back in the day.
Buy Them Off: Frequently gave local police a share of his loot to ensure his freedom and still considers it a valid alternative to fighting other hostile survivors.
Disaster Scavengers: Likes to fancy himself a very good one.
Eyepatch of Power: Sewed a patch over the left eye hole in his balaclava but he has been known to wear his goggles as an eye patch Water World style.
Friendly Sniper: A happy and encouraging one at that.
The Gambling Addict: Addict is a bit harsh of a word but he loves games of chance, especially cards.
Gentleman Thief: Lacks the class but he's hardly rude or malicious about his robberies and draws the line at harming the owners of his targets and won't steal from those too poor to recover from it.
Grave Robbing: Draws the line at buried corpses but bodies just laying about the wasteland are fair game.
Life of the Party: Always the one having the most fun.
Master of Unlocking: Learned a great deal about lock picking along with louder ways to enter buildings and cars. He tries to pass some of his knowledge along to Irina as well.
Must Make Her Laugh: Has this attitude towards pretty much everyone but especially Irina and Mikhail. Irina in an attempt to help get over her shyness and feel more welcome to group and Mikhail just to try and cheer the big guy up.
Sir Swears-a-Lot: Is no stranger to unsightly language and considers such words normal vocabulary.
Sweet Tooth: Loves candies and sweet foods, first thing he always checked when he ransacked a house was the kitchen, unfortunately for him such food is hard to come by in the wasteland.
edited 30th Oct '13 9:35:00 PM by LeGarcon
Oh really when?
Sy-fur Neerim. The first name is an audience bonus of sorts, and the surname comes from a past Meaningful Rename of the family's founder in-universe.
edited 23rd Oct '13 5:34:17 AM by Kesar
"Suddenly, as he was listening, the ceiling fell in on his head."![]()
Sounds like a very entertaining character. Possibly one I would like to read more about, given how he reacts and acts in the climate he's in.
- Name: Adam Walker
- Age: 17
- Personality: Adam has a rather...volatile personality. Despite initially coming off as essentially a total Nice Guy, and Matthew's best friend, there are abundant hints that he's not as well as he looks. Adam seems shellshocked some of the time, and outright violently reacts to even the smallest suggestion that people would use a ouija board. His moods seem to swing between manic and depressive so often that you could be forgiven for getting whiplash twice in one of his lines. He genuinely does, though, seem to like being helpful, and protecting people from threats, though this can be prone to going too far. Indeed, Adam is a little too protective, and lets not get into the jealousy. He seems to have learned what love is from someone who is either a Yandere himself or who has or had a bad idea of it.
- Abilities: Adam seems to be stronger and more durable than the average person. His main power and "natural magic" is called Empathic Make; it lets him turn "emotions into energy." Using this, he can take in stronger emotions and use them to make stronger constructs, Wesley outright compares him to the Emotion Rings of Green Lantern, just "incarnated into the body of a brawny dolt."
- Weaknesses: Due to his magic not really being able to be turned off, he's not a person whose one hundred percent safe to have on your team. He tries to remain unendingly positive to counteract the fact that intense negative emotions bring out his...less pleasant side. His impulse control ranks in the negative. And one person, namely, Angela, can use her Hatred Magic to basically overload him and knock him out with a migraine.
- Goals: At first, he wants to help his girlfriend in staying by Matthew's side and being local allies of his. After the events of Book III, however, Adam decides he has to atone for what he did wrong. He also has a secret goal of avoiding the demons such as Ein Woe and Angela, who want to take him back to their dark world.
- Motivation: Lets start with how completely terrible the world he came from was. He was regularly tortured for the amusement of Balmunc, and he only escaped when he was given a job, which was officially to act as The Mole. He fell in Love at First Sight with his girlfriend, the first person he ever met on Earth. He wants to make sure Balmunc's interests are rebuked, and find a new life on Earth.
- Role in the story: Matthew's Bash Brother, and The Hero when Matthew's out of commission. Anti-Hero Type III, (V in Book III, past a certain point).
- Backstory: Adam Walker never really had a childhood. He simply lived on a world where people randomly died around him, and only the strong got the opportunity to survive. He had to do amoral things to survive, and even then he almost died numerous times. When he developed his Natural Magic, he was grabbed up, taken to Balmunc, who amplified his abilities in a very painful manner, and then tortured until Balmunc was sure he was evil. He barely managed to escape that with his morality intact, and used Balmunc's only way to get to Earth to escape, taking this way to Earth with him. As such, Balmunc was incredibly furious, and demanded that Adam Walker be returned to him. Woe, despite his dislike for Zwei Artensa, saw the opportunity and ran with it. Note, Ein Woe was where Adam got his idea of "what love is." It is after this escape that he saw his girlfriend, the first person he ever saw on Earth, and became absolutely smitten with her. He went to the same school as her, and managed to use a function on his shoulder plate to hide it from sight, and live as a normal human for a time. However, the encroaching threat of Nebiros results in Adam and Sasha going on the run from everything from assassins, to Angela's own personal forces, to Adam's parents and Sasha's parents.
- Relevant Tropes:
- The Atoner: For his episode of lunacy, prompted by Angela.
- To the extent that he still saves Sasha's life even when she says straight up that she hates his guts.
- Bash Brothers: Matthew and he have this kind of relationship.
- Battle Couple: Adam and Sasha trying to fight Atsuji and Demack alone did not work very well, so they started fighting as a team. Quickly, the battle went from one direction to the other.
- Berserk Button: Hurting Sasha. After the event that sent his life into the crapper, pushing the unfortunate reputation on him too much can make him explode angrily. Also, picking on Matthew is never a good idea with Adam around.
- BFG: During Book IV, when he returns to Sanfield to help Matthew's Group, he picks up a massive Mana Mega-Launcher Cannon, and uses it pretty well, until its sniper scope was destroyed.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: Just slightly jealous normally, but when Angela's hatred is circulating through him, its amplified to truly horrible extents. Making it even worse, he's aware he was not entirely in control of his own actions, and he wouldn't have done what he did otherwise.
- Defector from Decadence: More like Defector from Dystopia, but Balmunc intended for him to be the vanguard and lead officer of his invasion of Earth. Adam said no way, and put an end to that plan.
- Domestic Abuser: Not of his own will, granted; Angela's Magic does really screwy things to his brain.
- Dynamic Entry: Against Baron Laudrey, in retribution for the torments Laudrey put him through in the World of Demons.
- Emotion Bomb: Angela dropped one on him to break up the Battle Couple which was giving her so much trouble.
- Groin Attack: Kicked extremely hard downstairs, enough that he vomits, and this then happens to him seemingly at random after leaving Sasha.
- Klingons Love Shakespeare: Adam's first exposure to human culture was reality tv shows and soap operas. He has utterly no idea he likes shows that are viewed...unfavorably at best.
- More than Mind Control: Angela says it best; "I didn't exactly control his mind, nor was it entirely his own will. I simply took what was there, and amplified it."
- Never Live It Down: An in universe case; after Angela videotaped him dragging Sasha out of the ER where she was checking on Shane Calston, and then chaining her to a Stalker Shrine, apparently intending to make her a permanent feature, almost everyone either attacks him or chases him away. At his lowest, he is left drinking soup in a soup kitchen with only pennies in his pockets, because the landlord of his apartment beat him up and threw him out.
- Nice Guy: At his best.
- Understanding Boyfriend: At first. Sasha really needed this, being The Woobie herself. Hence why Angela destroyed their relationship. Since Angela hates and envies Sasha, she decided to personally end her relationship with Adam.
- Sanity Slippage: Throughout Book II and III, some caused by exposure to Angela, otherwise, though, its caused by fear of returning to the World of Demons.
- Stalker Shrine: Scarier than usual, in that he did not remember making it. It just appeared in his room one day. Hints at how bad his mental state got in Book III.
- Swiss-Army Superpower: Wesley, as covered, references Green Lantern and the Rings. However, Adam is limited in what he can call upon based on what he's got going on in his head. It also functions as Blessed with Suck, since he cannot turn his power off.
- The Woobie: His magic, which he was born with, guarantees him a turbulent, unhappy life. And then there's the video Angela put on Youtube, and his flight across the United States after he channeled a bit too much of a police officer's contempt for him, and then being manipulated by Angela in the guise of Sasha, and almost ending up returning to his home world, which has only gotten worse with time. Then there's the persistent attempts on his life, how people spit on him as he passes, and how his house was blown up...yeah, Adam has not had a very easy life.
- Its telling when he thinks, after getting a jagged piece of a tree limb Tele-Fragged through his chest by Dumas, that "this was not the worst, nor most painful thing to happen to me today."
edited 30th Oct '13 9:29:55 PM by NickTheSwing
I can tell there's a lot of stuff to that character that I'm missing. I'm not quite sure why I should care about him. He sounds like a good brother... I guess... but it doesn't really make me imagine anything in particular.
I guess I might as well try this.
Name: Grant Silvers
Age: 43
Personality: Grant is a stoic character. He grew up frequently teased and targeted for his jewish family and background, and learned to take little aggrivations in stride. Unfortunately, life is really piling it on at the moment. He has his daughter to try and be a father to, work he needs to find, bills he needs to pay, and due to an accident at his last job his name is mud in his field. But when push comes to shove, Grant pushes back. He's a gulf war vet, and had handled more than most people in the first world. At his core, he wants to look out for his daughter more than anything.
Abilities: Grant is a geologist and metallurgist. He's trained specifically to work in mines, and has been in the field ever since he got out of the army. He was trained in EOD, and worked for eight months capping burning oil fields in Kuwait. He's an intelligent, educated man, who graduated in the top 10% of his class. He's very athletically fit, tromping all over mine sites from the Australian outback to the Canadian tundra, and everything in between. He knows how to handle firearms and explosives.
Weaknesses: He's a flesh and blood muggle. Psychologically, he's a bit too passive, mistaking passivity for stoicism. He's estranged from his wife (now ex-wife) and kid, and doesn't even know she's 15.
Goals: A comfortable life for himself and respect from his daughter and a return to his career. Then to save his daughter's life.
Motivation: Grant's motivation isn't all that glorious on the surface. He wants a paycheck in his career. More than that, he wants respect. Everyone blames him for a mine accident at his former job. Deep down, he even wonders if he DID screw something up that got a hundred and fourteen workers killed. He's a professional though, and while he takes the job, he actually does it rather than sign on the dotted line, take his paycheck, and goes home.
Role in the story: He's the protagonist. He discovers that there is something very wrong at the Gomorrah mine site in Nevada and is determined to get to the bottom of it. Then he's determined to get his daughter out alive.
Backstory: Rocks have been in his blood since he was a kid. He lived in Nevada all his life before joining the Army. He found them to be beautiful and wondrous. He enlisted when he was 18 for the GI bill, spent six years in the service in the EOD mos and fought in the gulf war. Much of his time was spent defusing mines and capping oil wells. When he was discharged, he went to the school of mines in Reno and got a dual major in geology and metallurgy four years later. At 26, he met his wife, Charlene, and at 27 they married and a year later had a kid. The marriage quickly cooled, however, as he was frequently all over the world and she was stuck at home.
A year ago, he was working at a gold mine in Zimbabwe and signed off on a geological survey stating the mountain side could hold the weight of the road cut into it. A month later, the entire mountainside gave way and fell into the pit. When the hearing began, the verdict was decided. Grant had failed to notify them of the risk. He was fired and no mining company would touch him.
Appearance: Grant started out as Grant Silversheim, scrawny jewish boy getting baked and sunburned in the nevadan sun. At forty, Grant looks to be in his early thirties. His skin is a rough, olive complexion and well tanned. He still has angular features, most predominately his nose and shin and well defined cheek bones. He stands 6'2" and his body is all lean, tough muscle. His black hair is starting to show flecks of gray in the temples. He keeps it cut short, but it's always a bit shaggy. He wears a pair of wire frame eye glasses. Grant, even in the city, seems to attract dust and dirt. He some how gets dust into a hepa filtered lab by accident.
Relevant Tropes: I'm really horrible with identifying tropes...
rollin' on dubs
Protips for tropes:
- Pick a "hook" for the character, i.e. how other characters see her/him, how the reader is introduced to the character.
- Establishing Character Moment : this could show off things like Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold or Black Eyes of Evil when this character first appears.
- Subverted Trope: i.e. A character with Black Eyes of Evil is a good person and just has a medical condition or her species has this as a trait. Another character with Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold is really a Jerkass but is a Slave to PR
- Pick some characters you like and or are similar to your character, see ho the tropes are described? That should give you ideas. You character doesn't have to be an Expy or copy cat however. Look at Superman, there are many versions of this character. As Sf Debris said in his "Homage vs. Ripoff" video, if you take a famous character apart and see what makes him tick, you can play with it, subvert it or play it straight (or all of the above) without just copying it.
edited 31st Oct '13 7:23:05 AM by TairaMai
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor....![]()
Looks like a good start (though the backstory kind of just cuts off without leaving a hook), and all it needs are tropes to help guide other readers. Taira Mai's advice should be sufficient help.
Okay, my turn.
- Name: Matthew of the Northern West Divinity of Repentance/Conscience/Guilt
- Inspired By: Saint Peter, Iron Man, Author Avatar, Self-Deprecation
- Age: Begins the First Legend at 25, ends at 32. And lives on until the end of time from there...
- Personality: Put simply in a single trope, Matthew is firmly a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. His heart is in the right place, and he tries to do the right thing. It's just that he has No Social Skills. Matthew has the nasty habit of holding concepts over people, which makes him appear cold and uncaring to others who aren't his family or Joshua, and even then they have to call him out on his actions when he takes a step too far in fighting evil. It would seem to others that he Hates Everyone Equally, but he just worries about people way too much. He doesn't mind spending time alone, just brooding and thinking about the future. But Matthew isn't incapable of socialization or laughter; the friendships he forges are stronger than any spell.
- Abilities: In the beginning of his journey, Matthew is just the leader of the new generation of his family's farm who can do the math, herd the livestock, and kill predators with two swings of his sling. After Joshua chooses him to become The Leader of his cause down in Creation, Matthew is endowed with Psychic Powers that grow stronger as the journey continues. When he ascends to godhood after his siblings, Matthew becomes an almost unstoppable force for good. But he's still kind of a dick.
- Weaknesses: Matthew is a dick, even when he doesn't really want to be. He has No Social Skills, which means that Luke has to the talking for him; and he is firmly Good Is Not Soft and Good Is Not Nice, which scares people away from him. Matthew is also a little arrogant, which has led his friends into tight spots because he thought he could handle it. And for The Smart Guy, Matthew often intimidates to get others to do what he says. He's also got an inconveniently good memory towards his failures, which makes him draw into himself when he finds himself burdened with guilt. Overall, Matthew's weaknesses are social and psychological, rather than having to do with power.
- Goals: No matter what he says, his goals are the same: Protect the innocent, punish the unrepentant, and redeem the guilty.
- Motivation: In the beginning, curiosity about Joshua. and Big Brother Instinct towards his siblings that are accompanying Joshua. After the Year in the West and the Year in the South, Save the World because the Empire's rule needs to end. And after becoming a Divinity, make sure mankind doesn't destroy itself out of malice or sheer stupidity.
- Role in the story: Audience Surrogate, Author Avatar, The Hero of the First Legend (not that he'd believe that), The Leader of Joshua's Companions and the Order of the Shepherd., Big Good of the Divinities of Creation
- Backstory: Matthew was just the shepherd of his family's farm over in the Western Realms. He had grown up with an adequate education as any farmer could get from the local librarian, and was good with a sling and preferred watching over the animals rather than hunting or farming. Then one day Joshua appeared with a lost lamb, and Matthew's whole world changed.
- Matthew, his siblings, and their friend John joined Joshua on his quest to redeem mankind and bring an end to the First Empire.
- Relevant Tropes:
edited 10th Nov '13 1:03:53 PM by Insano
Allurand and surrounding world loading, 28%...
@Insano. I like this guy; I don't exactly know why but for some reason, without even having tropes attached to his name I get a warm fuzzy feeling when reading his character profile. I just find it interesting that he is inspired by a Biblical character like St. Peter. From what I've read of Matthew and your villain Delirus on this thread's counterpart, it seems like a pretty standard fantasy world, which is why Matthew's ascension to godhood is so striking to me. I haven't read medieval in a long time, but I don't ever think I've read of a character reaching such a high status. Good work, it is something truly new.
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I like him too for the same reasons really, I always think it's so interesting when a less than perfect character ends up having a very important job such as godhood thrust upon them.
Righty then, last one from Irina's group of new friends
Name: Nikita Gerasimov
Age: Estimated at 29
Personality: A good hearted person who'll listen to anyone's problems or thoughts. He's got plenty of stories to tell both good and bad and he'll share them with anyone willing to listen. Likes the make people feel comfortable and safe.
Abilities: Like his friends he's a trained Russian soldier who fought his fair share of battle in WW3.
Weaknesses: And also like his friends he's been without a proper meal for some time and isn't in the best of health.
Goals: Survival, reaching the City and maybe reopen his old barber shop when he gets there.
Motivation: He loves his friends and Irina as well in time. Ideally he's just tired of wandering around on alert all the time and would love to settle down and start a civilian life again.
Role in the story: A supporting protagonist and someone for Irina to vent to. Also tells her manys stories about the war, life before the nuclear apocalypse and other such things.
Backstory: Born into a middle class family he had an uneventful childhood. Did well in school, never bothered to attend university, nothing special. Not long after graduating he and his older brother opened a little barbershop on the street corner. The business wasn't a big one but was more than enough. Eventually as the war dragged on his older brother was drafted and killed when his destroyer sank in the Mediterranean. Having a difficult time keeping the store open by himself he joined the military deciding that he had little else to do anymore.
Relevant Tropes: Prone to change as I remember the names of more
The Barber: A pretty classic case, he scavenged some basic equipment from derelict buildings and tries to keep up with his comrades hair.
Disaster Scavengers: Along with the rest of his friends.
Got Volunteered: Often draws the short end of the stick when the group decides who gets to check the dead guy for booby traps.
Nice Hat: Only one of his group that managed to hang on to his green dress uniform beret.
Seen it All: Been listening to people for many years, odds are there's not a problem he hasn't heard somebody else have before.
Sibling Team: Was one before the war took his brother.
The Social Expert: Expert is pushing it a bit but he's got a lot of experience with people and can read them fairly well.
Survivor's Guilt: Still wonders to this day why it was his brother that was drafted and not himself.
Vitriolic Best Buds: He and all of his comrades throw playful jabs and insults at each other constantly, it takes a while for Irina to get the jokes.
Would Not Shoot a Civilian: As the war got nastier and civilian populations were targeted he always refused to shoot at them or deliberately miss over their heads. A trait he shares with his comrades.
edited 13th Nov '13 8:30:45 PM by LeGarcon
Oh really when?
Sounds like a nice confidant for your main character.
Plotwise, I have few details for this character and her stories. Partly because I have Attention Deficit Creator Disorder, partly because the time period in which her stories occur hasn't happened yet. Here's some of what I have so far.
Name: Bailey Stone
Age: Late 20's when her series begins (in approx. 2016+)
Personality: A good person at heart, but this rarely shows at first due to her cold demeanor. She's very dedicated to her work, largely because by having something important (in this case, working for the CIA) to occupy her time, she won't have to think about the losses she's suffered in the past.
Abilities: Well-trained in physical combat, as well as handling various weapons. Also a skilled pilot, an ability she went on her learn for herself once she was old enough.
Weaknesses: Despite her combat ability, she's notoriously short, which can pose a problem when fighting bigger, stronger opponents. Hence her preference for just shooting the bad guys before they can shoot back.
Goals: Complete espionage operations as assigned by her higher-ups, whether alone or with a partner. These become increasingly more personal in later books, as alliances change and loved ones (not necessarily her own) are threatened.
Motivation: Love of country and the people who live there. As her series progresses, having someone to come home to (the mostly Non-Action Guy Kent) becomes an even stronger motivation to get the job done.
Role in the story: The Hero.
Backstory: Born in Glendale, Arizona (Phoenix metro area) on February 14, 1992 (yes, Valentine's Day) to an Air Force pilot father and a mother who taught U.S. history to high school kids. When Bailey, a short, blue-eyed blonde, was 12, her parents died on their wedding anniversary when a plane being flown by her father crashed, forcing Bailey to grow up quickly to help her grandparents (who they moved in with) raise her younger (by 3 years) sister, Polly. All through middle and high school and college (UC San Diego), she was very active in extracurricular activities, including student council and the cheerleading squad, plus whatever job she had at the time. In college, this included DJ-ing on a local radio station, which led to her extensive music knowledge. Her father had planned to teach her how to become a pilot when she was old enough; after his death, she did so herself, partly to honor him. After completing her International Studies major, she went on to join the CIA, and the series of about 5 books begins with her first espionage operations.
Relevant Tropes:
- Action Girl: But of course.
- All Work vs. All Play: The "all work" vs. her first partner's "all play" (as she puts it, he thinks he's "James Bond in a JasonBourne world")
- Badass
- Biker Babe: As mentioned, a skilled pilot.
- Bonding over Missing Parents: When, in book 3 of 5, she meets her boyfriend, Kent Thomas. Except his parents were murdered.
- Broken Bird
- Brutal Honesty
- The Cheerleader: In high school. Smart, and good-hearted, but could still come off as a bitch due to her reserved behavior and aforementioned Brutal Honesty.
- Combat Pragmatist: Whenever possible, it's just easier to shoot someone than go through all the trouble of earning their trust first or attempting hand-to-hand combat.
- Commitment Issues: This is par for the course for a globe-trotting spy, but it was true even in her youth. Finally settles down with Kent.
- Conveniently an Orphan: "Orphans always make the best recruits."
- Cool Big Sis: Polly looks up to her because she taught her so much in their parents' absence, but Bailey secretly envies Polly because she at least had someone to look up to. Polly is much more free-spirited and happy as a result, while Bailey feels left behind and brooding.
- Daddy's Girl: He helped motivate Bailey to become a pilot, among other things.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Defrosting Ice Queen: Slowly, over the course of her series.
- Extracurricular Enthusiast: See "Backstory" above.
- Jewish and Nerdy: For starters, thanks to her time as a DJ, she can recite the (often obscure) chart statistics of almost any song. Not unlike Kent.
- Little Black Dress: When formal dress is called for, this is usually what you can expect from her.
- One Head Taller: Kent, and almost everybody else, compared to her.
- Petite Pride: Yes, she's small. Deal with it.
- Promotion to Parent: Not alone in raising her younger sister (see below), but it sure felt like it a lot of the time.
- Raised by Grandparents: After her parents died.
- Waif-Fu: When guns aren't an option.
edited 14th Nov '13 3:57:55 AM by shrikecatcher
I dig it - simple character, just enough motivation to go on and feed off of while pantsing, but it's missing something. Try looking up Sugar-and-Ice Personality and see if it fits your character's dynamic.
Now, we're going to play a game, Tropers. I devised a premise of a book since grade school based around this character, and due to my subtle maturation (if you can call it that) the premise has upgraded from some abomination of Kingdom Hearts into "Deus Ex meets Neon Genesis Evangelion". That's not to say that I haven't moved on, since I have plenty of stories (in progress and already written) that I can mess around somewhere else. That, and since I've actually started writing the book, this character is now an Anti-Villain which is an Unwitting Pawn to a true Complete Monster, and the perspective is written from the hunting squad. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to determine whether he has any redeeming qualities (where he might get his own Sympathetic P.O.V.) or you'd beat the tar out of this loser (which the hunters will gladly do for the audience).
Name: Mark Windago
Age: 20 (born in 2032)
Personality: Often seen as eclectric with a talented sense of perceiving danger, with a tendency of a Sugar-and-Ice Personality. Trying his best to please everyone: sometimes it works, sometimes it backfires horribly. And the more it backfires, the more he becomes concerned that the only way to please people is to please himself first. Prefers anonymity over identity because of his own inferiority complex.
Abilities: Nanomachines, and all the powers associated with them. Before that, he has a passing understanding of computer hardware and software, enhanced by technopathic communication. When the brain loses capacity to function, the body uses minor cortex to autopilot itself, having no intelligence on it's own. By the end, he becomes The Worm That Walks.
Weaknesses: Horror Hunger (to the point of becoming an Extreme Omnivore), unstable brain chemistry, a chemical that can be mass-produced to wipe his species off the Earth, lack of pain tolerance for superhuman abilities, Does Not Like Guns because he is a Principles Zealot, suffers from suicidal thoughts, and a crippling fear to lead.
Goals: To minimize the suffering in the MegaCorp world, because he has no idea what an ideal society looks like. To figure out how to lead, he creates a bioorganic supercomputer in his place, capable of Mind Reading and Quantum Computing, that is born free of bias and will learn how to lead based upon collective human desires, needs, and negotiations.
Motivation: Initially began this quest because of his murdered father and inept mother, after being denied from Private Military Contractors due to questionable sanity. Feels indebted to the man who gave him the prototype mutagen, although slowly loses attachment due to the mounting questionable "favors" he asks in return. A massive worrywart, he always contemplates the consequences, nearly always regrets his actions.
Role in the story: Leaves the rest of his family for the military, goes on a vigilante spree because even the military couldn't take him, partners up with an unknown benefactor a CEO of the MegaCorp he's fighting against to destroy corporation property, which ultimately assassinating the founding CEO while being hunted by a Super-Soldier squadron...which he ultimately does, before going off the rails and succumbing to Power Incontinence. He assembles a Hive Mind within a synthetic whale (think Arsenal Gear), creates an army of Grey Goo militia of beings like himself during the time he disappears, and when he resurfaces, almost assaults humanity with a nuclear holocaust with the implication of letting his Master Race rule. He is disarmed from doing so thanks to the hunting squad following him, but before peaceful resolution, a ghost from the past invokes Power Incontinence by destroying his conscience with a bullet to the face. He is then killed as a second-to-last boss by absorbing every trace of his personality. However, his creatures live on due to another central host of the Hive Mind.
Backstory: Before his descent into an anarchal revolution, he was hardly liked by his peers because even though he is a Cunning Linguist, he can't walk the walk. A Dark and Troubled Past is formed from his apathetic parents, lack of people to connect with, and realizing how evil he is using media analysis. His father, which he regards as a callous mentor but the best thing he's got for his future, is murdered in a hostage situation in which Mark recklessly caused while he was trying to save a child from a terrorist's Reckless Gun Usage. Close to broke after the funeral and no job in sight, what his "last resort" of joining the local PMCs became something far worse...
Relevant Tropes:
- Author Avatar: To the point where this story is not worth telling without the character, to be frank. It's like taking the Xenomorph out of {{Film:Alien}}.
- Awesome by Analysis: How he managed to live before his superpowers, and how others come to believe him as smart.
- Byronic Hero: He is smart enough to lead by himself and understand high concepts like computer engineering, but realizes the fact that he is nuts. Specifically, with Schizoid/Schizotypal Personality Disorder.
- Composite Character: His superpower competence is basically (Wolverine's regeneration and strength - Badass reputation) + (Fei Fong Wong's personality - ki eneregy) + theoretical power of Dr. Manhattan
- Death Seeker: Due to an absurd ideal of heroism adopted since birth (and the realization he is none of those things, even though he tries his damnedest to change), he often sees himself as "cancer" that needs to be purged from society. He's tried before, but when he becomes theoretically immortal, this "weakness" becomes an absurd strength.
- Ditzy Genius: Flip-flopped between that and and Genius Ditz, because he's at least college-level. However, due to his perception of lack of successful relationships and absent-mindedness
- No Place for Me There: The reason why he invents the Hive Mind: he is too fearful of his own inner desires and wants, which would bring his ideal species down to an Always Chaotic Evil civilization of mass destruction.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: What he was intended to be. Your Mileage May Vary.
- Übermensch
- The Unfettered: Takes him a while, but he gets there.
- Utopia Justifies the Means
edited 14th Nov '13 9:20:59 PM by MadManX
Aw puck, Darkwing's on a killing spree again, we guillotin'in again.![]()
Your character sounds like a pretty good hero. I've never really been into spy novels all that much so I'm afraid I can't offer much critique on that part. But I like her backstory and she seems to be very solidly put together with a sense of humor (I like you comment on the James Bond and Jason Bourne thing).
This one is interesting. I almost want to call him a villain, but I can't quite do so. If anything he seems like an Anti-Villain Villain Protagonist; one who would be right at home facing off against the Hero Antagonists. I can sympathize with his goals and I love how he does not hold himself above what's going on but faces the very real fact that he is just as corruptable as the rest of society and the world. His powers are cool too; nano-machine-based villains always fascinate me, so good job.
- Name: Mia "The Deathless" Scarlteen
- Age: 19
- Personality: Mia's temperament and outlook on life is the end result of her...interesting childhood, coupled with being raised among the bitter remnants of a Proud Warrior Race. Mia is strict and often impatient with others, harshly criticizing their shortcomings, though she chooses her words carefully, always making sure to have some point on how the object of her tongue-lashing can better themselves. Mia is no less scathing of her own faults either and if she thinks she is lacking in a certain area, she will push herself almost to the breaking point to improve. Mia's value system is different from what many in The Haven are comfortable with. She has very little pity for those she views as weak, and is perfectly comfortable leaving them to horrible fates, even if she could have done something to alter it. She has a special disdain for the pampered members of the upper class and nobility, referring to them as "human sheep" and observing that sheep are often slaughtered. Mia is a deep believer in fighting with every shred of your being to survive, nothing else being acceptable. If she sees someone who she thinks has done just that, she will then lend assistance. This is precisely why she despises jobs related to guarding people unless it is of utmost importance. That said, Mia is intensely loyal to those who earn her respect, forming long and lasting friendships. Once she has committed herself to something she will not back down until the job is done to her satisfaction. A singular exception exists for Mia's harsh way of approaching the world:children. Though she often marvels at how different children of the wider Haven nations are, being sheltered from the constant wars and strife until they are at an "appropriate age", Mia does not hold it against them. If she sees a child in distress she will help, though she will always impart advice along the lines of "learn to stand on your own two feet."
- Abilities: Mia's skills in the art of swordsmanship are of extremely high caliber due to her constant training beginning at age six. Her skill with swords is augmented by her agility and quick eye; she is able to dance and weave around an opponent, evading their physical blows or magical attacks and find a place to slide in her blade. When all else fails, Mia is a skilled brawler, using her fists, feet, nails and teeth to beat her opponents into submission. If disarmed she will instantly slide into this mode and mindset without a second's hesitation. Because of the Key of Elements and Healing sealed within her, Mia is immortal. She still ages in the manner or an ordinary human, however the Key will almost instantaneously resurrect her if she suffers a mortal wound. This power extends even to attacks that utterly annihilate her body, reconstructing her entire being in a matter of ten to twenty minutes. These resurrections heal any injuries she had previously acquired. Because of her dangerous lifestyle as a member of the Hired Swords Consortium, Mia has "died" many times over her career, to the point where her immortality is an Open Secret within the guild of mercenaries, even if they don't know the reason behind it.
- Weaknesses: Mia's capability swordsmanship decreases drastically if she is forced to duel wield for some reason; the act of having to keep track of two weapons slows her down, leaving her vulnerable to attack. Even though she will rise from the dead, the process can take time, during which she is entirely helpless. On a more intellectual level, Mia is still very unfamiliar with The Haven apart from Erzaria. Its politics and even its people are a mystery to her despite having been in the Hired Swords Consortium for at least two years. This leads to several awkward situations and even dangerous encounters simply because, for all her training and austere mentality, she is very naive.
- Goals: Avoid being recaptured by the Conclave's forces and being abducted by Legenada. Defy the destiny of the Vessels by living out a normal life outside the Erzarian Preserve. Later in the story, she wishes to save the world from Nadia Denashel's plans and raise her daughter in peace.
- Motivation: Mia grew up under the burden of being a Vessel and was told countless times with varying degrees of tact that her life was not her own to live; she existed solely for the magic-users of The Haven. Adding to that burden was the resentment her own people felt towards her because the Conclave annexed Erzaria 1,000 years ago and sealed the inhabitants within when they discovered that one of the two Vessels was among the Erzarian people. All she wants is to be away from the unspoken blame of her fellow Erzarians and be allowed to see the world beyond the Opal Sea that surrounds her homeland.
- Role in the story: The Chosen One Deuteragonist Defrosting Ice Queen and eventual love interest for Veil River.
- Backstory: Mia was born nineteen years before Archmage Reborn to the previous Second Vessel, Grail Scarlteen and her lover, Macklin Ondor, the son of the Conclave’s Viceroy for Erzaria. Minutes after the Key was extracted from her mother and placed into her, the witch Nadia Denashel attacked, slaughtering the guards and the Healers attending Grail for the delivery and Key extraction. After ensuring that Grail died from her wounds, Nadia made off with the infant Mia, using the painful Four Points Extraction spell to remove the Key and then—after seeing Mia had survived—attempted to crush her beneath her foot. It was only the time intervention and efforts of the young Healer Eric Pilkan who saved Mia’s life and drove the invader away at the cost of his right arm and the transformation of his magic forever. With the Key resealed in her body, Mia was given back to her father. However with Grail dead and the violence and terror surrounding her death, Macklin wanted to leave Erzaria and never look back. Knowing that Mia would be taken care of, he left his child and never looked back, though he did keep track of her development from a distance. Though parentless, Mia was raised in the collective manner of all parentless Erzarian children, bouncing from home to home, though she bore heavy resentment for being a Vessel. Though her physical needs were taken care of and she received the standard warrior’s training, her only friend was Eric due to his assignment to guard her, and the understanding he felt because he too had lost his parents that night and knew what it meant to be ostracized. When Mia was seventeen, the Conclave chose an Erzarian warrior, a young man named Colin to be her husband and continue the line of the Vessels. Though outwardly accepting of this, Mia chafed under the strain of her destiny, the arranged feeling like an intolerable burden, and at last she could take it no more. Playing on Eric’s soft-spot for her, she persuaded him to let her stow away on board a supply ship headed to the mainland just so that she could see something outside Erzaria before settling down. Eric reluctantly agreed and delayed the ship while she hid in the cargo hold. While passing through the mist barrier, Mia repeatedly died, but of course was able to make it through the trip. After arriving in the Port City of Attwel, she made a split second decision and fled the ship, realizing that for the first time in her life she was truly free...
- Relevant Tropes:
- Absurdly Sharp Blade: Mia spends several hours a day personally honing her four swords to their sharpest capacity. It is mentioned that the Hired Swords have employees specifically dedicated to this purpose, but she prefers to do it herself, her reasoning being that if the weapons aren't at their best, she has only herself to blame. One of her swords, a a shortsword named Ymir has such a keen edge that she was able to sever a man’s arm through his armored gauntlet without the swing losing any momentum.
- Action Girl: She was raised to be a warrior from the time she was six years old, and has battled sporadically in at least five wars across The Haven due to belonging to a guild of soldiers-of-fortune. Mia is also capable of going toe-to-toe with fully trained combat wizards and witches, something that while very commonplace isn't something that many soldiers take lightly.
- Achey Scars: The scars left on her body from being struck with the Four Points Extraction spell] when she was an infant burn when she is close to the caster of the spell, becoming both more painful and more visible as the caster and victim near one another. At first it is implied to be Malice of the Red Cloaks who tried to snatch the Key from her nineteen years ago, as he is certainly evil enough and the pain is triggered when he is close by. However it is revealed that the actual caster is Malice's supposedly blind and timid partner Nadia Denashel, who is actually the ancient and feared witch Thana Krelios.
- Adjusting Your Glasses: Mia requires glasses to read finer prints; though she absolutely hates the thought of having less than perfect vision and when she has to break them out, she is visibly uncomfortable with people seeing her wearing them, and so constantly fiddles with the edges of the lenses.
- Anti-Hero: Especially at first. All Mia really wants is to be left alone to live out her life and make or break it with her own two hands instead of being guided along a predestined path laid out for her by others. She is extremely disinclined to help others, even when they are clearly in dire need of assistance and is callous even to her own friends and teammates, though she does have a rigid and uncompromising code of loyalty and honor that she holds herself to rigidly. After her friends in the Hired Swords Consortium die rather than sell out a member of their guild, she vows to avenge their deaths and becomes definitely more heroic in her hatred for Legenada. During the Second Enchanter's war when she sees so many people fighting and dying for her sake and for the sake of the world itself, she dedicates herself to stopping the evil threatening the world. It also helps that she has a child of her own at this point and feels an instinctive drive to shelter her daughter from the horrors of the world, answering her constant question of why people seemed to feel inclined to do this with loved ones.
- An Axe To Grind: At one point, during her stint as Veil's bodyguard, she take a flying leap at an enemy witch assaulting him, snags a common woodsman's axe from the wall nearby and buries it directly in the other woman's chest. It's around this time that the other bandits realize the caliber of warrior they are dealing with.
- All of the Other Reindeer: Though never physically bullied and her needs were cared for she was ostracized by her fellow Erzarians, adults and children alike. The reason for this was simple: The Conclave annexed their country, destroyed their governing system and trapped them in their own land in order to protect the Vessel in order to preserve magical power and stability in the world. Her mother and her mother's mother and all the Vessels for a thousand years previous have received this same treatment.
- Amplifier Artifact: Her presence can amplify elemental and healing magic, though it is unknown just how close one has to be to her for this to happen. In Veil and Ara's case, their magic was magnified when standing within feet of Mia, so it is likely to be a very short-range phenomenon.
- Arranged Marriage: At sixteen she was promised to Colin Quilteen, an Erzarian around her age, to continue the bloodline of the Vessels. Mia has mixed feelings about this. She has no reason to dislike Colin, as he was one of the few children growing up who was not cruel to her, but she hates the idea of pairing with him simply because "they" say so. In fact, judging from her guilt at leaving him and her Heroic BSoD when Colin leaves Erzaria to find her and is mortally wounded trying it is possible that she had no real problem with him or even the arranged marriage; it was simply that she didn't want yet another thing in her life she had no control over.
- Almost Kiss: She almost receives a kiss after Veil rescues her in Anticlaire city. Seeing her unconscious and extremely ill from being constantly poisoned, he finds himself leaning down closer and closer to her lips and barely realizes that he is instinctively trying to kiss her. When she wakes up, she is not happy about it. She performs one of her own on Veil after he defeats the Red Cloak Guilt preventing him from unleashing a Mystical Plague on Erzaria due to his own grudge against her people. Subverted in that while she doesn't kiss him, they go much farther than that.
- Aloof Ally: To Veil in the beginning. After she saved him from being robbed, raped and murdered by a group of bandits after his Empathic Weapon and he found out she was a mercenary, he offered to pay her to be his bodyguard until he could get to Anticlaire. Loathing those who couldn't protect themselves, Mia naturally refused...however she needed the money badly to pay her Hired Swords Consortium dues and he was offering far more than she usually got. Later, as Mia developed a fondness for him while protecting Veil, she went back after their contract had technically been fulfilled in order to save him once more.
- And This Is for...: She screams this almost word-for-word right before bisecting Nadia's artificial body during the second-to-final battle, dedicating the sword strike to her mother, her father and everyone who has ever suffered and died because of her centuries of machinations and plots.
- Awesome by Analysis: Part of what makes Mia such a dangerous fighter is that in addition to brawn and agility she is also very astute at discovering an enemy's weak point. She often dances around, evading attacks, whether they be magic or physical until she can best discover how to kill her enemy.
- Badass Baritone: Her voice is far deeper than what one would expect from someone who looks like her; while not anything over the top, it is slightly surprising. Doubles as Vocal Dissonance.
- Badass Transplant: Having one half of an Eldritch Abomination sealed within her body gives her the power to spit in the face of Death, makes her a living Amplifier Artifact for anyone who practices healing or elemental magic and after refusing to have it taken from her body and enduring the immense pain of it fighting to escape her and pass into her newborn daughter, she is granted a Super Mode that surpasses anything she was capable of in her original fully human state.
- Pregnant Badass
- Badass in Distress: After escorting Veil to Anticlaire city, she is ambushed by the Red Cloak Sorrow, who is Dangerously Genre-Savvy enough to poison her with a toxin that will not kill her but instead stimulate every pain receptor in her body, incapacitating her and allowing her to be captured without a fight. It takes Veil and Ara to temporarily put aside their differences to save her. Mia is known for becoming mysteriously deaf when this incident is mentioned until the subject is changed, as much from the embarrassment of being captured and treated like a prisoner as the horrific torment she endured while poisoned.
- Back-to-Back Badasses: With Veil (who, while not being exactly a badass yet had obtained far more control over the Gloria and his water magic than before) when facing off against Anash the Implacable's men. Also during the Second Enchanter's War when they are swarmed by a large battalion of Purist Movement soldiers disguised as alliance forces.
- Battle Couple: With Veil during the Second Enchanter's war after Mia obtains her Super Mode. The two of them go from being protected assets to actual fighters in the war against Nadia and her forces, much to the anger and chagrin of those doing the protecting.
- Bare-Handed Blade Block: She does this several times, at one point pulling the blade of a knife so that her attacker is yanked forward, allowing her to knee him in the stomach. Justified and downplayed though, as she is wearing metal gauntlets during all of these incidents, protecting her hands from damage.
- Bare Your Midriff: Her Fully Realized State has this going on.
- Beneath the Mask: She presents a cold, Darwinist and stereotypical Erzarian outlook to the world, but she struggles often with her anger, resentment towards both the Conclave and her own people for treating her like an object and a pariah respectively. At the same time Mia suffers intense guilt and depression because of those thoughts as she was taught to revere both her people and the Conclave no matter what wrongs done to her personally. She is ashamed of running away from them and from Colin but can't even imagine returning to that place and has a hidden—but no less potent—panic attack at the realization that the Conclave has found her after the events of Anticlaire City.
- Likewise, though she becomes True Companions with Veil, Ara, Angelica and Daniel, she can't bring herself to admit that she is falling for Veil because that would be breaking her vows to Colin—even though she has no intention of keeping them anyway. In her mind it's just better not to feel anything for anyone; it keeps her guilt over that broken oath to a tolerable minimum.
- Berserk Button: Referring to her as an object or telling her that her life is to be lived "for the magical world" is a good way to have an armored fist in your stomach before you can even finish the sentence. Just ask Ara. Hurting her friends in the Hired Swords Consortium is enough to make her your mortal enemy for life; one of the things that snapped her out of her own problems and opened her eyes was Legenada devastating the guild when they refused to give her up.
- Big Damn Heroes: This was how she met Veil for the first time; after watching him battle hopelessly against a small army of bandits that had cornered him, she only intervened when they had beaten him within an inch of his life and one was about to rape him. She then stepped in and began beating off the enemies. Slightly subverted in that she didn't go out of her way to defend him even though he was badly hurt, only "evening the playing field" by giving them another opponent to fight and leaving him to defend himself.
- During the Second Enchanter's War she continually bursts in and saves people from the nigh-invulnerable mechanical soldiers infused with tormented human souls being used by Elena Raines and Nadia. Her Super Mode is about one of the few things capable of one-shotting the enemies it took entire platoons to defeat.
- Big Eater: She eats a lot of food, but it is justified by the insane amounts of training and exercise she does.
- Big "NO!": Several times, some comical and some not so much.
- Black Eyes of Evil: Subverted as these aren't a sign of evil just a racial trait. All Erzarians have them in addition to pale skin and red hair. One of the things Veil first noticed was slightly...off about Mia was that no one else seemed to notice these eyes, instead seeing a different color depending on the person. See Technicolor Eyes below.
- Bodyguard Crush: Inverted. After hiring her as his bodyguard to protect him due to his Squishy Wizard status he slowly developed feelings for her, though she initially harshly rebuffed his advances. Played around with as she does feel an attraction to him but hides it due to her conflicting feelings.
- Born Winner: This is a major subversion. Mia is a member of one of the most feared people on The Haven due to their infamously warlike nature and superior fighting techniques, she is immune to death and being near her can boost the magical abilities of her allies as long as they are casting healing and elemental spells. The subversion comes with the knowledge that the Erzarians have basically become prisoners in their own country due to the Conclave's well-founded paranoia, the Key sealed inside of her causes her countrymen to hate her, gets her treated like an object even by people who think they have her best interests at heart, and she can never really tell anyone on the outside her whole story, causing an inevitable sense of isolation.
- But I Can't Be Pregnant!: Mia's reaction when she finds out she is pregnant with Veil's child. It couldn't have come at a worse time either.
- Calling the Old Man Out: The first thing Mia does when she actually lays eyes on her father Macklin for the first time in her life is to smash him in the face with her scabbard, knocking him to the floor before leaping on him and demanding to know how he could have simply left her alone with those who either hated her or saw her as a commodity. When he gasps that after the horrible circumstances on the night of her birth he wanted to leave Erzaria and all those memories behind she becomes even more enraged and starts punching him while sobbing. Macklin, to his credit doesn't try to defend himself physically or emotionally, waving off the guards who would drag her off.
- Childhood Friend Romance: Played with in the case of Colin Quilteen her intended husband. While Colin was the closest thing she had to a friend her own age, she in no way felt romantically inclined towards him, but accepted her fate to marry him and have a daughter so the Key could be passed on. However after she made her impulsive decision to escape, she often thinks of him and deeply regrets the hurt he feels, because he truly did feel love for her. When Colin goes through the mist barrier to travel the wider world to find her and pays for it with his life, she has an utter breakdown.
- The Chosen One: Well...yeah.
- Chronic Hero Syndrome: She has this in spades during the Second Enchanter's War, going out of her way to help people besieged by Purist Movement and Endless Army forces. This is after she insists on breaking out of hiding, because she can't stand the idea of thousands of people fighting with every shred of their being for her sake while she does nothing—it's an offense to her philosophy but more than that it's just plain wrong.
- Cooldown Hug: She receives one of these in Elena's laboratory in New Estel when her skin accidentally comes in contact with the liquid anima. This causes her to go into a frenzy, her entire body glowing and gaining extreme strength, speed and Ki Attacks. Veil manages to calm her down by doing this from behind, holding her to him until she calms down and becomes "The cold, uncaring Mia he knows". It is also foreshadowing for her Super Mode, which has the exact same abilities only under much more control.
- Combination Attack: During their time traveling together, Veil, Ara and Mia learn to fight as a team against obstacles before them, inevitably resulting in several of these.
- Cool Sword
- Dance Battler: Mia dances around her opponents, twisting out of the way whenever they attempt an attack and then rushing in to strike with her own sword. It's been described as watching an extremely unpleasant yet somehow riveting waltz.
- Death Glare: Mia is good at delivering them when she's pissed. And sometimes just when concentrating very hard, making her pretty much a Perpetual Frowner.
- Defrosting Ice Queen
- The Dreaded: Much to her embarrassment and chagrin, her name "Mia the Deathless" has spread quite far across The Haven both due to her exploits in battle and the fact that people have seen her rise from the dead with their own eyes. This also infuriates the Conclave due to what they see as her flaunting her secret and endangering herself. They are eventually proven right, though it isn't Mia who suffers the consequences of this, but her guild.
- Driven to Suicide: Her resurrections render her perfectly healed of any injury or disease, but she has to die first. Though we never see her do it, Mia implies that she has sustained several nonlethal but forever crippling injuries and has killed herself in order to resurrect as good as new.
- Dueling Messiahs: While she isn't one of these two, she is the rope in the tug of war between Veil and Bartholomew.
- Et Tu, Brute?: Her reaction when she finds out that Legenada has hired her guild to hunt her down, offering an obscene amount of money for her capture. What's worse is that the man they sent out, Anash the Implacable was a friend of her's in the guild.
- Facial Markings: Her Fully Realized form has them.
- Glamour Failure: Veil's suspicions that something was not right about his bodyguard were confirmed when Mia took a bullet in the neck during a Bar Brawl, dying as he tried to stop the bleeding. The fact that she gasped, shuddered and then got back up with no trace of the wound except the blood freaked him out.
- Heroes Prefer Swords
- Loner-Turned-Friend: She starts off as a troubled, bitter and frankly misanthropic human being who is close only to a few trusted friends and her organization but blossoms into a truly caring young woman who cares about the fate of the world and is fiercely protective of her widened friend circle and her child.
- Living Battery: For all wizards and witches capable of casting healing and elemental magic. Which is Ironic in itself, as she is strictly a warrior with no use for magic herself.
- No-Sell: Played with. Magic is highly ineffective against her, but it isn't through any special power of her own: rather her iron armor, swords, and boot soles protect her against it due to iron's Energy Absorption effect on magic. That said, she can still be damaged by it, just not as badly, and spells that tinker with the mind or senses can still affect her.
- No Social Skills: Played with. She does have social skills, it's just that they are both foreign and rather antique from the rest of the wider Haven due to her homeland being cut off from the rest of the world for a thousand years. She also, has a very different set of values.
- Near-Death Clairvoyance: While fighting to keep the Key inside of her, the Key's power begins literally shredding her insides apart with in a Super-Power Meltdown because she was keeping it past its time. As she begins to pass out from the pain, she very clearly sees Veil's battle with Ara through his eyes.
- Screaming Birth: Subverted as she is...well, Mia. When delivering her daughter she does cry out in pain several times but mostly remains grimly silent.
- Technicolor Eyes: Mia's eyes are actually completely black, but change color depending on the magic-status of any looking into them. Earth-users will see her with Brown Eyes, Water-users with blue, fire-users with red and wind-users with gray.
edited 14th Nov '13 7:01:35 PM by Swordofknowledge
Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace@317 Biblical references always interests me as long as it's been used properly, as for this case, you had succeeded. Still curious on what would happen after his ascension though.
@319 He strikes me as The Reliable One, or even outright Living Emotional Crutch for the team. Also, nice addition on the barber bit.
@320 A well rounded secret agent character type in my opinion, but I do wonder what kind of character development she'd get over the course of the story.
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I'd prefer him to get his own Sympathetic P.O.V., Villain Protagonist and the related tropes never fails to intrigue me.
That's a detailed story right there, I say you already had created a good and detailed backstory for her. So, could she be considered as a Hero of Another Story before being the Deuteragonist? Also, how does she fell in love with Veil? I'm always wary of Strangled by the Red String on both my stories and others'.
Edit: Removed mine
edited 12th May '16 10:55:57 PM by Bleedingbreath
I love that you always post links to images of your characters; it helps bring them to life in my opinion. At first he comes off as a jerk, what with his hatred and bullying of Joshua. I do have to say however that his reasons for his bullying are kind...I don't know. I'm not sure if you meant it to be this way for the readers or not, but it makes him seem even worse than when his motives were unknown.
- That said, his loyalty to Josh after the whole angels and demons thing does take most of the edge off of this facet of his personality. , his powers are amazing; sort of like the Green Lantern but even more versatile due to not having a weakness to the color yellow of all things. Plus I like a hero who doesn't bother with saving a villain and is only concerned about ending the threat.

“In a galaxy, where the United Earth Government has fought a civil war, losing several worlds to the Southern Cross and had a war with the Alien Cay Union, hope rides in a ship called Victory ” *cue theme music*
Here's The Captain of the command trio of of The Rival ship to the Victory:
Name: Commodore Acera Veery
Age: 50
Personality: Lady of War, who's the captain of the SCSS Amy Komori, patrolling the Joint Security Area. She's the The McCoy mostly, The Spock when in combat.
Abilities:
Weaknesses:
Goals/ Motivation: She has to defend her home from both a hostile 1984 style dictatorship and a hostile Earth. She wants to counter what ever the crew of the ESS Victory has planned...
Role in the story: The Captain of the SCSS Amy Komori. Named after a labor organizer who lead the Southern Cross's independence from Earth, it the foil to the Victory and the heroes.
Backstory: Acera Veery is a Cay living in the Southern Cross. Her people embraced aliens as the Cay Empire became the oppressive Cay Union. The humans and Martissans in her area of space would become the Southern Cross, her family having a tradition of service in the Southern Cross Mustered Citizenry. Veery is at the apex of her career. She's a capable officer with experience dealing with Earth, raiders and the Cay Union. However she's a lesbian and the Union despises homosexuality. She hates dealing with Warmaster
Nau'Theri Arrads Bespidor. He's a Smug Snake who thinks that he's a military genius. She knows he's insane, but until recently his command has supplied parts and supplies to the SCMC.
She doesn't want war if she can help it. The EDF “took back” several worlds and the Union is up to something. She fears what will happen when the shooting starts.
Relevant Tropes:
edited 30th Sep '13 9:30:40 PM by TairaMai
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor....