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So far, so good! He seems like a well-balanced villain, not too OP or anything, and he's got one aspect I've rarely seen in villains in media; to conquer other places but not actually command them per se — but rather hand over the task of leadership to other, usually less than responsible, people.
Here's mine! One of the main villains in the post-cyberpunk sci-fantasy story I'm working on with my friend.
(Full) Name:
Vernon Bonheur
Age:
18
Appearance:
First off, he's a person with a taller than the usual teenage "tall" figure — standing at 5'9" or 187cm; and has a overall thin figure to boot. He has short-cut dark red hair, dark chartreuse eyes, and an unnaturally pasty complexionnote .
He usually wears a labcoat, a plain grey shirt, black trousers and dark grey loafers.
Personality:
On the surface, Vernon is a Cloud Cuckoo Lander Mad Scientist who often makes pragmatic yet outlandish plans to defeat the "mere annoyances" (his words, not mine) that are the Ragtag Bunch of Misfits that make up a portion of the protagonist roster.
Many people, even his higher-ups, think he's annoying, but he often gets to prove himself. Even the kindest heroes just really hate him, honestly.
Abilities:
- Is apparently smarter than average people (he claims that his IQ is 190 give-or-take), though this might be wrong.
- A Combat Pragmatist who basically will do anything in battle to take down the protagonists.
- Has access to the evil organization's tech and can use them to their full potential. Additionally, he created a large portion of the technology used by the organization anyway, so he can actually tweak them and improve most of the tech/weapons to make them stronger than normal.
Weaknesses:
- Has a feeble personality and cannot take advice, really; for example, when he's "lectured" by the heroes in a Patrick Stewart Speech (so to say), Vernon just lashes out and tries to (unsuccessfully) discourage the good guys.
- Is very close-minded despite him often commenting that other people are stupid and he's one of the "rare smart ones". He'll protect his own ambitions to no end.
- Now for something actually combat-related; he's a Glass Cannon, basically. Being on the side of an evil organization with extremely high-tech weaponry allows him to use these tech all he wants at their fullest potential, but if he takes a strong hit, it's not going to end well for him. He doesn't have any actual hand-to-hand combat experience.
Goals:
To finally take down the heroes and impress his higher-ups; in extension, he'll get promoted and in turn spread more evil and eradicate "unimportant emotions".
Motivation:
Pride, of course.
Role in the story:
The supposed Big Bad of the story. A high-ranking member of the story's Nebulous Evil Organization, he sees the group of Ragtag Bunch of Misfits (TBD, I'll elaborate on this on Hero Critique) who serve as the protagonists of the story as annoyances, as per a few of the evil organization's members' stance on them as well.
Backstory:
The only son of a former, disgraced high-ranking member of the evil organization, Vernon had an overall normal childhood, no sob story or anything that would impact his future self.
Well, until he turned 14. Not more than a day after his birthday, "The Incident" happened. An uneventful day for everyone else in the Isles turned into an eventful and basically chaotic day full of destruction and a lot of casualties.
Vernon saw all the chaos happening in the city and made some kind of conclusion that people did it, making him gradually distrustful of humanity and emotions and all that. Taking up his father's previous high-ranking position after the Incident was over a day later, he vowed to get rid of things that would make humanity "irritating".
Putting up a "funny guy" façade seemed practical to him, and it would make people not suspect anything malicious, so he did it.
Relevant Tropes:
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Part of his supposed façade.
- Creepy Child: Well, creepy teen. His true self.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: A villainous variant. He looks tall, lanky and weak, which causes people to underestimate him. But when actually executing his evil plans, he's basically more than skilled at it.
- The Cynic: Is actually this behind the "pragmatic genius" persona; he often boasts that "friendship, happiness, and kindness are overrated".
- Evil Genius
- Evil Redhead
- From Nobody to Nightmare
- Genius Ditz
- Insufferable Genius: In addition to being a super-scientist wannabe of some sort, he's not shy to flaunt his apparent smartness in front of everyone he meets, whether they're friends or enemies.
- Hypocrite: Hates it when people express happiness and the like but takes joy in being evil.
- Hidden Depths: On paper, he's a Cloud Cuckoo Lander who desperately tries to be some kind of Mad Scientist. When he's actually thrown into combat and/or having to actually plan something evil, he's dangerously able and more than competent to do so.
- Obfuscating Stupidity
- Mad Scientist: What he wants people to think of him.
- Misanthrope Supreme: Beneath his pragmatic façade lies a jaded person that just hates basically everything.
- Sad Clown: See Hidden Depths — and a more malevolent than sorrowful example. Despite being some kind of "lolrandom" teenager who's probably on truckfuls of sugar, he's actually The Cynic Misanthrope Supreme (with a side of Social Darwinist), who is dangerously allegiant to the Nebulous Evil Organisation of the story.
- Basically making the last name Bonheur fitting, yet ironic; he's in kinda-informal terms "sad [and bitter] inside"note and hates other people being happy, but he takes joy and pride in being an Evil Genius.
- Social Darwinist
- Teens Are Monsters: Though, he's the only evil teen in the villainous organization.
- Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Before becoming a higher-up of the villains' side in his teens; he was once a normal, mild-mannered, quiet kid who was pretty much smart and had higher-than-average grades at school. And now, he's an Evil Genius who masquerades as an overactive mad scientist-ish person.
edited 4th Feb '18 1:30:25 AM by ActualBeatrice
The Superstar of the Supernatural World! (debatable)
Shin Megami Tensei IV
So, he was a normal teen that after "The Incident" (what was that exactly?), after that he decided that Humans Are Bastards and that everyone was dumb sheeple. Interesting honestly, I imagine that he manage to find ways to fight the heroes, given that he is the Big Bad. He honestly remind me to one of my Big Bad from my works, who is also another evil teenager that had Geek Physiques.
______________________________________________________________________________
First, is Marduk, a late-generation god from ancient Mesopotamia and patron deity of the city of Babylon.
Second, I actually want subvert that, they are smart enough to know that The Kingdom needs them and they also had a healthy dosis of respect for each other. Lucifer dies and Marduk takes his place, but that wasnt because Marduk wanted Lucifer dead, it just happened.
I was for Marduk, while the Kingdom wasnt called in that way while it was at its height, when Lucifer revived it, he added "of the Old Gods" to honor Marduk and others gods whose religions had been remplaced for the deities of the Divine/Holy Alliance. The group include Baal, Ishtar , The King of the Asuras (Lord Asura, the hindu demons Asuras were actually the gods of some other religions, while the demonization isnt as big like Baal, is certainly something that had generated resentment from Lord Asura himself) and other gods from ancient religions
The Allies in that AU did a lot of crazy shit too, they were still morally better, but damn that the AU USA would look like a dystopia to us, even if it was the safer place of the world besides the Middle East (oh the glorious AU), Russia and India.
It was a awful crazy world, that is the sanest way to define it.
They are fascists into the realistic way of fascism rather than the Pop culture version of it, the loyalty of their members is based into friendships and personal loyalties rather than a actual code or law, like the Real Life Nazi party, where all jobs were based into personal loyalties, Nazis werent efficient because they really did not try. Given Hitler own disdain for the idea of a state-nation (instead of cultural nations) and his dreams of a racial anarchy where the only organization would be race-based, the Nazi influence is notorious.
And about why Yahweh wanted have a peaceful prision, well, for one side, letting your political prisioners killing each other is pretty inmoral, and for the other, they are sealed away from everywhere else, so they can do whatever and no one would be affected, their escape was only because a external influence that Yahweh did not prevent rather than a fail in the plan.
Yeah, they are The Determinator overall, they never give up, that is show as one of their few virtues. They are either or super self-deluded or extremely cynic and cruel, usually both.
edited 5th Feb '18 1:39:34 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Now, I will put one of my main characters, he's mean to be a Villain Protagonist, a Fallen Hero that is trying to cope out with the sheer awfulness of his life.
Name : Makoto Takeyama
Age: 16-17 years old
Appareance : A male Raven Hair, Ivory Skin teenager, not too tall to be noteworthy but one could count him as Tall, Dark, and Handsome, he usually dress his Highschool uniform but he start using more clothes along the story,ending with his Royal Clothes, a cool small dark cape and a Regular shirt, but with the symbols of the Kingdom of the Old Gods in his in them.
Backstory : Makoto is the reincarnation of the founder of Bachilea, Ming Huang who is also his great-grandmother, albeit Makoto certainly don't know that. Makoto had inherented the role as the The Prince that can change the history and he certainly had been affected for it even before he was even born.
His parents knew that he would had a big chance of being the New Prince (if the Prince had a bloodline, the next one will be from it) so they actually had Makoto as a Genetically Enginered fetus, one that will inherit the Natural Talent of his grandmother, even if they had to add Demonic Data into his ADN, turning their own son into a Half-Human Hybrid (just like Ming herself, she had a rough life) After a series of events that end up with the death of his parents, they succeeded at leaving Makoto out of the view of his family by sending him to leave with his uncle, a Journalist with no relationship to the dynamics of the Seraph family (the family of Ming, named Seraph for Ming' husband).
Makoto then lived a normal life, as a Lonely Rich Kid (his uncle was a pretty respected journalist) who developed a strong view of right and wrong with him, always with a strong suspect of the authorities. Sometime in those days, he got the attention of Marduk, who decided live into his body as spirit, always watching and sometimes, serving as a sort of mentor to Makoto.
Until he, alongside Caroline Iris,discovered the Other Side and his life would be changed forever, he formed a team with others and, in a classic fashion, discovered the wonders of The Power of Love and The Power of Friendship. He fell and he rised again, he had a relationship with Caroline who will affect his entire worldview and a friendship with Brandon Harlaw who will left him with a good Ideological rival and friend despite their differences in power (Makoto ends up being way stronger than Bran, but they truly liked and respected each other). He also got the attention of Misao, who developed a unrequited crush on him, they become friends after Misao gave up on the idea of romance. Makoto was truly becoming happy.
Then Caroline did a Heroic Sacrifice to save all the humanity, while Makoto never truly stopped her or tried to do that (more because Caroline was damn clear that It was her choice rather than a real care for the destiny of mankind) to stop the cult of Omnicidal Maniac s that also caused the deaths of people that was close to Makoto. After that, Makoto experienced a depression that is still with him months after Caroline's death.
Then Misao, his "second choice" got the powers of Kresnik and discover the Other Side. This will change a lot of things.
Personality : Makoto is a Troubled, but Cute teenager, with a cold personality that can shift rapidly for a Hot-Blooded rage, he is prone to impulsive choices and more importantly, he really, really values his friends. He also had a disdain for authority while he believes that he know what is the right way to live (like Caroline, everyone should be like Caroline, and think for themselves, stupid sheeple. He is basically, someone that had a strong authoritarian view, yet a contempt for rules and organizations, something that The Kingdom of the Old Gods would love. Oh, he also likes Redheads.
As a side note, I thought of making him bisexual, but given that all his romantic relationships involve girls, dunno. Just like Misao, who is also bisexual but she had romantic relationships only with men. It just comes more as fanservice and fetish Pandering, and shallow fetish Pandering. Dunno if go for it or not? I sometimes think on going for a Everyone Is Bi world, but again, I have my doubts. Probably not and all members of the main trio are heterosexual or I go for a Everyone Is Bi world, What I should do?
Abilities : His demon partner, the Dragon Mushushu, his own skills using mana, a Lighting Bruiser style of fighting with Electric Powers and tons of Heroic Willpower, which given the nature of mana, are very useful. Plus, his demon heritage is amazingly good, despite the issues with rage. Overall, Makoto is the strongest character of the main group at the beggining of the series. And when he got the support of Marduk, he become a danger to pretty much, everyone in the setting.
Weakness : His poor emotional control... Not really, Makoto strong emotions are a good weapon to him. His real weakness is his lack of movements at long distance, you also could find a way to trap him into a fight against many enemies, which would exhaust him. Overall, only his lack of moves of wide range, and he had Marduk and Mushushu to make up for it.
Role : Villain Protagonist, Big Bad of Act 2.
Tropes associated to him :
The Power of Friendship and The Power of Love : His main motivation, his friends are everything to him, so much that changing sides and going against his friends will always torment him,so much that he want capture his old friends and putting them into a Gilded Gage until they agree with him, he don't want kill his old friends. He is always trying to bond with people, and supporting the Bonds of others, even after his Face–Heel Turn, he always put relationships in a high level.
Protagonist Journey to Villain:A clear one
Well-Intentioned Extremist : What he becomes, curiously, he's not the [[Lawful Evil normal type of it] despite being a Evil Overlord. He is a Chaotic Evil of type 3. And how!
Evil Overlord: After the death of Lucifer under hands of the human resistance, Makoto and Marduk assume this role at the same time, for petition of Marduk himself. They lead the Kingdom of the Old Gods, armies of demons that are trying to destroy the last bastion of peace in the world. Of course, Makoto don't see himself as it, he see himself as a Heroic rebel trying to take down the Ancient Conspiracy of the angels, there some true to that, is just that the angels lead a Benevolent Conspiracy.
Chaotic Good /Chaotic Neutral /Chaotic Evil : His Character Arc in a nutshell.
Hot-Blooded : When he is enjoying a fight, while is part of his demon heritage, certainly is part of his personality, he is very emotional, he's cold when he's depressed and sadly, Makoto had been depressed for a long time.
The Stoic / Not So Stoic : Usually inexpresive, except when he isn't
The Woobie /Woobie Destroyer Of Worlds
The Social Darwinist : Makoto believes in a hierarchy of values, that while aren't always related to combat power, they tend to overlap, which actually have a point in a world where Heroic Willpower actually can give you power (Nevermind that he's the Underdog against the angels). His final plan is basically, instaure a Social Darwinist Anarchy in the entire Multiverse, albeit that is less because he want to do that, and more because he believes that is the only way to be sure that humanity (an other sentient beings) will be able to be strong enough to survive against Sophia and her avatars. That and because that new merged universe will be a amazing place to have adventures and meet new friends. Makoto is nuts
Walking the Earth: His endgoal,after he had plunged the existence into Anarchy, Makoto would wander around the earth, seeing civilizations rise and fall. Passing the Torch to his friends,who would be the protectors of their world while the Multiverse fall into Anarchy. He would meet new friends, and when his friends die, their souls will live with him. A very romantic idea in general.
Instant Awesome Just Add Dragons: He and Mushushu, they're very good friends and Mushushu is a fiercely loyal and powerful ally.
Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl and Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl : He and Caroline. They're pretty much the trope embodified, the reason for it is that despite the different personalities, ideologically, both are free spirits that don't care about rules and value their friends more than everything else. That also get deconstructed a bit, showing that after a while, their relationship would have serious issues, and that they actually had a big chance of breaking up in the long term future. Of course, Caroline` early death makes imagining the probabilities a pointless thought experiment (and that Caroline and Makoto could have work their issues, literally, everything is possible).
Birds of a Feather: His friendship with Brandon is based on that, they're both introverted teenagers that share a distaste for their society, they have different outlooks but that part is what made their friendship. His, complicated, relationship with Misao is also because they are both lonely social outcasts that have struggles with their depressives tendencies.
edited 6th Feb '18 8:57:15 AM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
I think Makoto is a really interesting, well-developed character. Villain Protagonists aren't something I think about very often, but there are a lot of possibilities when it comes to that trope, and I think you've done a great job realizing such a character.
I think it's really cool to see a villain (even a villain protagonist) who is focused on The Power of Friendship. Well-Intentioned Extremist and Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds are well established tropesnote , but that entry makes Makoto a really unique and interesting villain protagonist.
If I had to name one flaw, I would say his weaknesses might need a little more development. His only real weakness is a physical one, and I think you could develop his Hot-Blooded-ness a little more. Sure, it might be powerful sometimes, but surely it would have some drawbacks. Still, I do think Makoto is a good character, and I think you have done a good job developing him so far!
By the way, I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to romance or the LGBT community, but lemme say this... if you want Makoto to be bi, you should find a way to make it work in the story, or else it might become an Informed Attribute, which isn't very helpful. Would you be willing, perhaps, to change the genders of some of Makoto's love interests? Or maybe add some new ones who are male? Just a thought. There must be other threads on here dealing with this sort of thing where you can ask.
This is a character for a fantasy-comedy series I have in mind. If I get around to writing this series, there will be a lot of villains, but this guy is one of the major ones:
Name: Lord Engelbert Shallowus
Age: Late 30's.
Appearance: A rather tall, thin, stern-looking man. He has long, straight black hair topped with a pompadour, and a small, pointy mustache. He wears very opulent clothing, including a long coat and a cape.
Personality: A very bitter, unempathetic, and vain man.
Abilities: He's a very skilled orator and manipulator, and fairly decent with a sword.
Weaknesses: His selfish instincts which may lead to Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, and occasionally cowardice.
Goals: Kill The Good King and Take Over the World.
Motivation: To be taken seriously, earning power and respect.
Role in the story: Starts out as part of a Big Bad Ensemble before being demoted to The Dragon for most of the series.
Backstory: Lord Shallowus was born the only child to a wealthy couple. Like most aristocrats in the land, he never came to appreciate or care about his servants or anyone else below him. But unlike most aristocrats, he was surprisingly cunning, and saw the others as air-headed twits who were foolishly content with what they already had.
Not long after his parents passed away and he inherited their entire fortune, Shallowus went to visit The Good King of the kingdom (whose name I haven't decided yet), and was outraged by what he saw. The king was incredibly kind to his servants, the townspeople, and everyone else. Shallowus believed the king was a fool who was wasting his resources on people who didn't deserve it. Not understanding the king's generosity, Shallowus left the king's castle in a rage, deciding that the king was incompetent and unfit to rule, and he would do a much better job of it.
Once home, Shallowus began devising a plan to release a monster who was sealed away long ago to destroy the king for him, then reseal the monster and take the throne. But once he tries to set his plan into motion, it doesn't work out so well...
Relevant Tropes:
- Asshole Victim: Defied. Quite a few villains and monsters throughout the series consider killing him, but decide against it for one reason or another. When he is finally defeated at the end of the series, his punishment will be more humiliating than deadly.
- Big Bad Wannabe: Although he wants to take over the kingdom himself, he keeps getting pushed around by the Big Bad (who I might submit here later) and upstaged by other villains.
- The Chew Toy: He goes through more comical misfortunes than any other villain in the series, but it's hard to feel bad for him, considering that he's a selfish, unrepetant jerkass.
- Classic Villain: Downplayed. He embodies Ambition, Pride, and Envy, and has a very sinister appearance. The one thing keeping him from being a straight example is that he hardly gets a chance to carry out his own plans.
- Deadpan Snarker: His high-and-mighty attitude often leads him to make biting remarks at people.
- Embarrassing Last Name: His last name is meant to sound like "shallow wuss", primarily because It Amused Me.
- Evil Is Not a Toy: He wants to summon an ancient monster to help him kill the king, but the monster instead launches its own plan to kill everyone, and forces Shallowus to assist him with this plan.
- Expy: As far as design goes, my initial inspiration for him was actually the Neighbor, mostly for his head and face. But as I started developing him more, I started basing his design on other characters, like Gaston and Captain Hook.
- Green-Eyed Monster: He despises the king for being more powerful than him, and plans to overthrow him.
- Lantern Jaw of Justice: Averted. He has a big, square chin, but he's a sneaky, conceited jerk.
- Ominous Opera Cape: He wears a long, flowing cape. I have promised myself that if I get around to writing these stories, I will have him get into a Cape Snag at some point.
- Riches to Rags: He starts out a wealthy aristocrat with a nice estate and many servants, and ends up the paranoid servant of a homicidal monster.
- The Starscream: Although he is forced into working for the Big Bad, he is secretly plotting to betray him. Whether or not he will succeed, I haven't decided yet.
- Surrounded by Idiots: He thinks very lowly of other aristocrats, as well as his servants.
- Upper-Class Twit: He initially tries to present himself as a harmless buffoon. But even after he shows his darker side, he's still somewhat buffoonish.
edited 21st Feb '18 4:15:01 PM by DrNoPuma
Will somebody PLEASE cue that boid?
Call me... Del Noir...
The classic aristocratic psychopath. Cold, calculating, elitist, manipulating, and with a pompous name to boot (although I would recommend changing the name Shallowus; it's a little too on the nose, you know?).
Now, I have a sociopath of my own to introduce to you. This comes from my passion project Big Man With a Gun, a character study of a budding serial killer who terrorizes his small town. The story averts and defies the cliche of attempting to invoke sympathy for a sadistic mass murderer, as is done all too often in not only horror fiction, but in real life cases of massacres as well. It's basically one big middle finger to the very concept of the Draco in Leather Pants; the character starts out with a few Morality Pets and redeeming traits, but he eventually becomes so obsessed with murder that he destroys his humanity, piece-by-piece, until there's no hope for redemption left.
Allow me to introduce you to him...
Name: Nolan Jethro Normanson
Age: 17 at story's start, 18 at story's end
Personality: Socially awkward and seemingly nice, but his inner thoughts reveal him to be rampantly narcissistic, looking down on everyone and everything and harboring grudges for non-existent slights. As the story progresses and he delves into his new "hobby", he completely changes his personality, becoming assertive, charismatic, passionate, and calculating. This is all a mask for his truly sadistic inner self; he seems like a lovable if eccentric family man and class clown in the daytime, but at night when he's carrying out his homicides, he is animalistic, merciless, and brutal.
Abilities: Extremely smart, manipulative, and strategic. He can lie his way out of any situation, and his lack of meaningful emotion other than hate or fear means he's willing to cross any boundaries.
Weaknesses: As his compulsion to murder becomes more and more uncontrollable, he finds, despite his efforts to retire from the serial killer lifestyle, he simply can't; he likes it too much. This compulsion eventually becomes his undoing.
Backstory: Nolan Normanson is just an average kid. He wasn't abused, bullied, or alienated, and has his own small circle of friends, yet he suffers from a destructive dissociative disorder. He feels no empathy, sympathy, and struggles to comprehend human emotions. His parents went through a divorce when he was really young, and while he gets along with his father, he thinks he's a "weak pushover" who's a "sorry excuse for a parent". The only person he genuinely loves is his little sister, Tatiana, who he is secretly envious of for her popularity and outgoing nature. He secretly hates his "friends", especially the cynical and snarky Vinny Wall, who always has no trouble getting with women. He harbors a crush on the beautiful Monique Nightingale, who doesn't even know his name, and he is oblivious that another girl, the socially awkward Winona Lambert, has feelings for him.
Role: Villain Protagonist. Nolan concludes at a school dance that he has no meaning in his life, and that if things don't change soon he's going to off himself. After learning that Monique would apparently "marry the man on the spot" who got her a diamond ring for Valentine's Day, Nolan tries to go out at buy the ring; he is dejected to find it is way too expensive. As he walks home sulking, he hears a gunshot from a secluded house; he investigates to find the corpse of Gerald Finkle, a paranoid old man who had a massive arsenal of weapons. Nolan steals the guns, planning on selling them at a local gunshow, to pay for the ring, and hides them in a secret spot. As he heads back home, he is almost hit by a drunk driver, causing him to fall off a bridge. Nolan awakes in the hospital, realizing that the drunk driver was his teacher Mr. Lang, and decides for the first time in his life he's going to "stand up for himself". He takes a shotgun from his cache of guns and heads to Lang's house, planning on killing the man in cold blood. He only succeeds in killing Lang's innocent wife. When he gets away scot-free with the murder, Nolan realizes that when he shot the innocent woman, he felt joy for the first time in his life, and he wants to kill again. And again. And again...
Thus, Nolan goes down a downward spiral, slowly snuffing out any sympathy the audience could possibly have with him by going on a non-discriminate killing spree. He breaks into people's houses and shoots them dead. He's called "the Black Plague" by the news and the cops, a name he grows to love as the months go on. He kills Vinny and his friends, several of his classmates and teachers, his sister's ex-boyfriend, and several investigating FBI agents. When the heat becomes too high for him, he looks for a way out; he finds it when he gives the newly-bought ring to Monique, who, to his rage, mistakes him for the similar-looking Morgan Benson. Nolan, telling Monique that he's Morgan, asks the girl out on a date, strangling her to death when they're finally alone while demanding that she says his name. He kills Morgan, making it look like a suicide while he pins the blame for the murders on the dead boy.
It seems that Nolan will just carry on with his life, but he eventually finds that his addiction to murder has become so strong that he can't just stop cold turkey. Looking for release, he kills, maims, and cripples his few remaining Morality Pets, before planning a murder-suicide massacre that will make him famous and remembered until the end of time. He concludes at the end of the story that he has "transcended humanity", and that he is living out "everyone's true desires" by letting go of "ridiculous inhibitions of morality". He states that he knows he's a monster, and that he's not sorry for anything.
Goals: Find meaning in his life through murder, become famous, frame Morgan Benson for his homicides, kill as many people as he possibly can before dying in a "blaze of glory".
Motivations: While Nolan attempts to justify his actions at first by claiming that he's a "revenger" carrying out murders for perceived slights, he concludes in the end that he only kills because he likes it, that it makes him feel special, and it satiates his crippling boredom.
Related Tropes: Chaotic Evil, Cop Killer, Even Evil Can Be Loved, Face of an Angel, Mind of a Demon, False Friend, Faux Affably Evil, Four Eyes, Zero Soul, From Nobody to Nightmare, Hair-Trigger Temper, Manipulative Bastard, Serial Killer, The Sociopath, Start of Darkness, Teens Are Monsters, Used to Be a Sweet Kid
"Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."
Shin Megami Tensei IV
He is a fun character, the name is too obvious, He did not believe that He would summon a evil entity and that entity would try to kill everyone?.
Pretty realistic as far as a Serial Killer (in personality) go, he feels like the teenager version of Patrick Bateman.
The story is set in a small town or isolated city, right? Because, well, teen murderers as a rule are easy to find and setting the story in a isolated place is one the few ways that he can avoid being persecuted.
How much of a bodycount he have? A number or anything?.
_________________________________________________________
Thanks for the Makoto review, and yeah, I like using The Power of Friendship as a villainous motivation from time to time, and about Makoto weaknesses...the issue is that He being Hot-Blooded is his source of power, that isnt really a weakness, albeit, given that he had a Super Mode that depends of that Hot-Blooded rage and turns him into a feral and brutal fighter that can be beaten as soon you can find a way to control him.
Makoto is a brutal fighter that had relatively few people that can stop him, from the Wizard Crowley, Brandon after his Character Development and his other teamates and of course, Hisao Yuji.
edited 22nd Feb '18 4:50:31 AM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Name: Aleister Crowley
Role in the series: The Dragon
Appareance: A white man with a helmet with the form of piramid with an eye, or basically, just the real man.
Age: 40-50 physically, but he's really 200 years.
Personality: Crowley is a seemingly charismatic old men that can spouse a lot of racist and sexist shit (and gets called for it, he now lives in a world where social equality had been reached) who is also a massive mysantrope, he is able to befriend people despite his own bigotry (he's surprised when his best pupil turns out being a Black teenager) but ultimately, Crowley only thinks on himself and his sheer contempt towards humanity and his desire to cause the End of the World as We Know It For Science! and For the Evulz. He is genuinely loyal to His real master, The Lady In Red, The Babylon Whore, also know as Sophia.
Backstory: Crowley lived around the era ascence of Fascism, but when the Axis managed to summon demons, Crowley did move from USA to Germany only to know more about demons, he did get the attention of Lord Rusvent, a financiers of Hitler that was actually Lucifer in disguise and they started to work together. Crowley did become a member of his Kingdom and he managed to become as powerful as many of the Lords, but Crowley did know that he couldn't reach the position of the High Lords of The Kingdom of The Old Gods, Crowley committed several atrocities around his life, wanting to discover more about the secrets of magic and sharing it with other magic students (to their horror). Crowley did meet his end as a "regular" human when the actions of the war and the sheer amount of death and pain caused for them did awake the Axis Mundi, the will of the world, which deciding that humanity needed a reset. Did destroy all the world, with Crowley as one of the milions of deaths.
Crowley would have been reincarnated but his soul was saved for Sophia, a Eldritch Abomination that wasn't neither demon or human, who presented herself as The Great Mother
(a figure of the Cosmology created for Crowley IRL) who gave him a gift, The Gift of immortality, even if his body was destroyed, he would be Able to come back to life, as long he kept his loyalty towards her. After his resurrection, Crowley did spend his new life between traveling to other universes and searching for new things to learn and more students (Crowley did start his own school of magic, he basically did create the magician version of the Sith), but he always did keep an eye in his natal world, and when he realized that he could help to cause a new apocalypse as his Goddess wanted. He was ready to use all opportunities. By the time that the story starts, he had founded his own cult, made of insecure teenagers and more importantly, he now had students and a good partner-in-crime.
Goals: Serve his goddess, destroy all the reality and learn new things in the way. Get new students to see what happens.
Tropes related to him.
Omnicidal Maniac : As one the Leaders of Qliphot, that's a given.
The Dragon: For Lucifer in the Backstory, he is now it for Sophia. Lampshaded when he actually did manage to become a literal dragon in his One-Winged Angel.
Co-Dragons: He is The Dragon of Darkness, but There also a Dragon of Light. They both serve Sophia in her goal of complete anhilation.
Sorcerous Overlord : In his days as The Evil Genius of The Demon Kingdom. He is still one now, but the Evil Overlord elements are gone.
Squishy Wizard: He's fragile physically, or at least, as durable as a regular human being. He is able to fuse with his demon partner, Choronzon (a demon who Crowley claimed to summon in real life) to become a humanoid dragon and thus avoid the trope.
Fusion Dance : With his demon partner Choronzon
Politically Incorrect Villain: Extra notorious because he's now in a society that only remind bigotry as a memory of the past, he's racist and actually had a dilemma when he realized that some of his best students are non-white, or more exactly, a black man and a native american girl, Crowley did teach Hinduists before, but they were white hindus. e had a similar Freak Out when he realized that his best students alive at the end of the story are either a Black man or a Indian man,
Heel Realization /Redemption Equals Death : He finally does get over his racism when he is defeated or his own black student, who did become stronger enough to to fight at the level of Dragon Crowley that was being boosted for the Axis Mundi itself. Of course, Crowley didn't felt guilt from any other action and he
edited 22nd Feb '18 2:31:38 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Name: Sophia.
Age: Eternal
Appearance: Depending of the body, her real form is a Eldritch Abomination whose form change depending of the world where it is.
Backstory: She is a Aeon, a ancient species of creatures that existed before the Universe, until they were used to create it for Yaldabaoth, the false Aeon. Who was created and abandoned for Sophia. With her Aeon form being used as a Pillar of the multiiverse and unable to move, Sophia' mind was doomed to reincarnate as a sentient being for all the eternity. Realizing her status as one of the "toys" of "her son", Sophia sweared that she would destroy the Mutilverse and liberate the Aeons of their Fate Worse than Death... Or so she present it. The truth is, the Aeons did agree with submitting themselves to the whims of Yaldabaoth, who got the title of The First Among Equals for The Supreme Being itself, and Sophia herself is aware of it. Is just that she really hates her "failed creation".
Personality: Sophia´ personality is constantly changing, one character goes so far to say that Sophia dont have a actual personality, her personality changes a lot depending of her body, initially she was a cold profesional Maid working for Lucifer as her Hidden Dragon with an Agenda, with few emotions showed besides small peaceful smiles as she become closer to her goal, after that body died, Sophia took the body of a dying nine-years old girl, and developed a even colder personality, becoming a full Emotionless Girl, after that body died, Sophia took the body of the mentally ill and abusive mother of the main female heroine Misao , having now more rage outbursts (including more Tranquil Fury) and taking a more overtly sexual personality constrasting with her anterior body. But overall, in all her bodies, Sophia shows the same traits, a sheer hate of everything, humans, demons and reality itself.
Role in the story : Greater-Scope Villain, Big Bad.
Sophia is mean to be the "official" Complete Monster of the setting, being a villain who always causes misery at her road. She's the Palpatine, the Gihren Zabi, The Big Bad. A constant source of mystery and pain in The 'Verse.
I dunno how much bad is try to willingly make this trope, but I think that is better than doing it unwillingly, after all, Palpatine was made to be as evil as possible and he's a classic villain of Sci Fi for that.
edited 1st Mar '18 8:49:37 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
So, with Mr. Crowley, using the world's most famous occultist as a jumping-off point for a mystic villain is a tad cheesy and reducing him to a straight villain does some disservice to an otherwise noteworthy historical/cultural figure. Him having antiquated social beliefs but being able to move past those beliefs is a nice bit of characterization but beyond that there doesn't seem to be anything to this villain beyond the utilitarian use as a "human face" to the story's villainy.
Now, with Sophia, I'm going to assume this is the same Sophia you posted back on page 47 and that this recent post is meant as an add-on or edit of the previous post. There seems to be two goals with this character...
- You want to turn the traditional interpretation of Gnosticism (material Demiurge is evil, spiritual Sophia is good) and switch the morality.
- Create a "devil" for your story's mythology. That is to say, a "force of nature"-type Platonic ideal of evil/villainy. The antagonistic spirit of your story.
Palpatine works in Star Wars, not because he's the Dark Side itself or even an incarnation of the Dark Side. He works because he acts as a mortal representation for both the Dark Side (by being the top Sith) and the Empire (by being the Emperor). If he were some kind of a God of the Dark Side, he'd be a lot less endearing and intriguing. You should either make a human(ish) villain or an transcendental evil. If you try going in the middle, it doesn't work as well.
Do you get what I'm saying because I'm kind of rambling. If you want some clarification or further critique, just say so.
edited 3rd Mar '18 6:35:50 PM by WSM
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Crowley is already used as a villain in other works, so is not like I'm doing something that other works haven't done. Plus, I put emphasis in that this Crowley come from extremely different circumstances than the real man. He is also far from the only human villain.
With Sophia, the point of she is that she is not really different from humans, she used to be a great spirit but now, she is, by all practical purposes, a human being. She is not that special as she believe. She is not a ancient evil or anything, she is just a entity, a human and a godess in a world full of them.
She is not the God of Evil Made of Evil, she is "just" the oldest sentient entity.
edited 3rd Mar '18 7:07:37 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
I'm just giving you my impression of these characters based on what you have posted. You don't need to make excuses.
I just think using (wrongly?) infamous historical figures as fictional villains is lame and I'm not 100% on what you goal is with Sophia. So, I gave you a suggestion on what direction you could go with it.
edited 3rd Mar '18 9:38:54 PM by WSM
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Thanks You. The deal with Sophia is that I needed a Big Bad that was important enough to be a real hitter in the massive Fantasy Kitchen Sink that is my story.
Also, let me show my other villain.
This guy is for another story set in Modern Day Peru, is basically a attempt to create a story that highlights the spanish abuse of South America (mainly Peru and Mexico) in the age of Discovery, but with fantasy elements and a Earn Your Happy Ending good deal of idealism at the end
Name: Hugo Lucero
Age: 700 years old
Backstory: A Spanish man with German blood, Hugo was a Knight that expulsed Jews from Spain , however, Hugo was infamous for his brutality, even among his fellow Religious fanatics, and more importantly, his constant compulsion to steal things from the peoples that he massacred.
Hugo was cursed for Jewish priests so many times that God himself punished Him with inmortality, Hugo mistook his curse with a bless and started to see himself as a Holy prophet. Hugo started to study mysticism books that he stole from several groups, until he found genuine magical books, who he used to empower himself in solitary while he also traveled around the world, stealing treasures and more importantly, religious and mystical texts. Slavering Warlocks and Priests for equal, Hugo become a magic master in several types of sorcery. Sorcery that he used against the Native Americans in the Spanish Conquest of America.
Believing himself superior to the natives, Hugo never bothered to learn their magical arts, something that bited him in the ass when a alliance of magicians of several South American cultures defeated him in Mexico, were they, seeing his inmortality, decided decapitate him, put his head in a Bag and throw it to the abbys. While they burn his body.
While his head grow a new body (yeah, that’s his inmortality), Hugo slept from centuries, and in his sleep, he learned that his Inmortality was a curse from God instead of a bless and meet The Great Mother, a important figure that would give him his best power, Blood Magic, magical powers depending of the bloodline of the user and Astral projection, who he used to take over the body of a soldier in WW 2 and fight for the Nazis.
When his body recovered totally, Hugo awakened again and with a new ambition, Take Over the World, to do this, Hugo did got a pupil to train, a Neo Nazi teenager with Mixed Ancestry that was a long time descendent of the priest that defeated him (It wasnt hard, that priest had a big family).
Role in the story: Big Bad
Tropes that apply to him:
- Evil Overlord: He certainly wants be one
- -Evil Sorcerer: Initially, at having a old body weakened for the time
- -Tin Tyrant: Once he bath in the Fountain of Youth, he start to use his Armor again, becoming this trope.
Greed: His main motivation.
Sadist: He isn’t over enjoying the suffering that he causes
Take Over the World: His main goal on the world, Up To Eleven when he reveals that he want go and conquest worlds in others universes, the world wouldn’t be enough to him. His goal is always conquering something. He always want more, his goal is not a Eternal rule, his goal is a Eternal conquest.
A God I Am: His other goal besides taking over the world, you need to become a God if you want take universes.
The Conqueror: Basically how he see himself, that is the picture that he shows to his pupil, while downplaying his own cleptomania and trying to paint is as "noble ambition".
edited 25th Mar '18 4:52:41 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
Strepsirrhine of DOOM!
On Hugo...I dunno, he doesn't seem very fleshed-out to me. For instance, you say he wants to Take Over the World. Why? "Greed" is a bit vague - what does he actually want, and how will taking over the world help him achieve that (or at least, why does he think it will)?
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Greed.
Is easy and simple greed. He is just that greedy.
He is a sociopathic violent spanish conqueror, they were the ultimate thugs. Hugo is not different.
His wish is conquering, getting more, taking over things. The world is the biggest thing that he can conquest for now, and even then, the world itself is just part of his plan to conquering even more things.
He will never stop, his greed knows No end. He is the ultimate Colonialist conqueror.
Simple? Yes. But is not unrealistic.
edited 26th Mar '18 12:01:19 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
Strepsirrhine of DOOM!
Remember, even the conquistadores were after something, be it gold, favor with the King, or their own island nation to rule as their personal fiefdom.
What I'm getting from your follow-up post is that what Hugo wants is literally everything and anything he can get his hands on. That somewhere in the process of collecting mementos from the people he killed, he realized that he would never be satisfied, Would that be a fair assessment?
Tidesson Son of the staves of time
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Pretty much, he does want know all magical practiques in the entire world and then he wants go to take even more things. His ambitions is literally infinite, he likes taking things.
I already put a character in this thread, but I figured I might try out another one. This one is for a dystopian/sci-fi novel I'm working on. It's an updated version of my earlier character, with some changes made so he's less similar to any real people.
Name: Ian Seymour
Age: Not stated in the story, appears to be in his late 60s or early 70s
Appearance: A balding man with thick glasses and grey hair on the sides of his head. Walks using a cane, and prefers to dress in formal, business-like attire such as suits and ties. Often has a kindly expression which is described by the other characters as "grandfather-like".
Personality: Behind Seymour's mask of grandfatherly kindness lies the mind of a man who is ruthless, greedy, and above all obsessed with fame. Seymour spent his whole life perfecting his showman-like style of leadership, and when he found himself leader of the last surviving colony of humans on Earth, he put it to great use. He calls his enemies insulting names, highlights irrelevant but damaging facts about them, and cites statistics that may or may not be true. All for the greater good, as he claims; humanity deserves a strong leader, not one who would let "criminals" into a refugee colony.
Abilities: Seymour has no exceptional physical abilities himself, but he doesn't need them. As the governor of the refugee colony, his very words are the law. The rest of the government that had been set up, while still functionally present, has been neutered to the point of ineffectiveness and the law enforcement only exists to carry his whims out. In other words, he essentially rules what is left of humanity. And as for the hidden spaceship that the protagonist is searching for in hope that it will let humanity escape from Earth? He denies that it exists.
Weaknesses: For all his charisma and treachery, Seymour is still a physically frail 70-something-year-old, and he's in no condition to be much of a fighter. Luckily, he has his loyal bodyguard, Joseph "Big Joe" Salazar, to protect him. He is also not terribly intelligent, and is prone to mixing up and repeating words even during important speeches. His supporters, however, are not especially smart themselves, so they don't notice this.
Goals: To, as he puts it, "restore humanity to its golden age".
Motivation: His own obsession with fame and power, which he hopes to keep even after the comet impact.
Role in the story: The Big Bad
Backstory: Ian Seymour's life can be summed up by one desire— fame. Born into the footwear business, he soon expanded into every other field he could think of as long as it would get him money. It didn't matter that most of those schemes were financial failures; as long as they made him more famous they did their job. Whether he was starting his own chain of restaurants (most of which had to be shut down for safety reasons) or opening a private university (which was closed for defrauding its students), all he cared about was that everyone knew who he was. Then. . . it happened. A comet twelve miles wide smashed into earth, killing more than 99% of humanity. Seymour survived thanks to the custom-build bomb shelter underneath his skyscraper headquarters, and soon became the leader of a refugee colony. A dyed-in-the-wool conservative through and through, and always paranoid about anyone who might "threaten" him, Seymour has no qualms about turning people away from his refuge for real or (more often) imagined reasons.
Relevant Tropes:
A Nazi by Any Other Name: The racism, big public speeches, and intense loyalty are all there. But he's actually more based on the Alt-Right than the Nazis of World War II.
Bad Boss: Towards his subordinates. If he thinks any of them don't trust him, they get "ejected"—that is, cast out into the wasteland.
Cigar Chomper: Smokes cigars
Cool Old Guy: Comes off as this in public, and tries to maintain this image. He isn't actually like this.
Corrupt Hick: Although he hails from a big city, his Southern accent and "old-fashioned America" values place him squarely in this territory.
Dehumanizing Insult: Fond of throwing these around
Evil Old Folks: Pushing 70. Not a nice guy.
From Nobody to Nightmare: He used to be a moderately-successful CEO of a shoe company, who decided to branch out into other areas. He became so obsessed with the idea of fame and power that he repeatedly tried to enter politics, finally getting his chance when he became the leader of the last humans on Earth.
Fascist, but Inefficient: It quickly becomes clear that his leadership of the refuge is problematic. Water and food, which were already in limited supply, become even more scarce, and disease breaks out, but he does very little about it. Yet people continue to support him because of his promises.
For the Evulz: Despite all the things he does, this is averted. He legitimately has what he sees as the Refuge's best interests in mind—it's just that his idea of "their best interests" happens to exclude a lot of people.
Incompetence, Inc.: His various companies and brands were all noted for being high-class and expensive, but poor-quality.
Lawful Evil: Type 1. Oppressive as he is, he does bring order of a sort to the Refuge, and many people are thankful for that.
Pet the Dog: He does have a circle of friends and family who he feels genuine affection for, and he uses this to his advantage.
Photo Op with the Dog: Literally; he has a dog and has photos taken with it.
Southern Gentleman: Likes to dress this way.
The Bully: What he really boils down to, since he's fond of taunting and insulting anyone who disagrees with him.
Stepford Smiler: Type C.
Token Minority: Despite his all-but-stated racist beliefs, his bodyguard Big Joe is black.
Tyrant Takes the Helm: Once he takes over the refuge.
Utopia Justifies the Means: Utopia for himself and the people who agree with his worldview, anyway.
Wasteland Warlord: A variation in that he doesn't actually do much fighting, but still rules his colony of post-apocalyptic survivors with an iron fist.
Edited by ElSquibbonator on Aug 22nd 2021 at 1:42:43 PM
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Sounds like someone that actually might control the world, Albeit, given that all his bussiness closed for his own incompetence, how he is actually that smart to control the survivors?
Good. I wanted an antagonist for my dystopian story who actually seemed human as opposed to coming off like some sort of omnipotent, inhuman force of oppression.
edited 10th Apr '18 8:20:39 PM by ElSquibbonator
And you have done that very well. You did a great job making his flaws work well with the circumstances: his greed in a time of scarcity, and his incompetence (which would have made him much less of a threat in a non-post-apocalyptic setting) being drowned out by his charisma and the people's desperation. Nice work!
Here are the two Destroyer Deity Olympus Mons from my Pokemon Super Fic.
Names: Noviru and Tyragnok
Age: Who knows.
Personalities: Noviru is a proud, regal creature, looking down on everything and everyone as it destroys. Rather fitting for a peacock-phoenix-griffin that rains fire from the sky. Tyragnok has a more savage demeanor, crushing anything that moves, and anything that doesn't.
Abilities: Noviru is Fire/Fairy type, and brings a storm of fireballs and meteors to destroy the world. Its signature move, Supernova, causes an explosion that hits all adjacent Pokemon, has a 100% chance of burning note , and even hits Pokemon that are normally immune to Fire attacks, such as those with Flash Fire. Its ability, Blazing Star, gives its already devastating attacks a damage boost against burned targets.
Tyragnok is Poison/Dragon, and causes earthquakes and poisons the very sky to wipe out all life. Its signature move, Ragnarok, works similarly to its counterpart: hits all adjacent to the user, is guaranteed to poison those it hits note , and can hit Pokemon that would otherwise be immune to Poison attacks, like Steel-types. Its ability, Serpent's Venom, causes attacks that would normally inflict standard poison status to cause "badly poisoned" status instead note .
Weaknesses: Both have the weaknesses of their respective types. In addition, Noviru is a Fragile Speedster that has particularly poor physical Defense, and Tyragnok is a slow Mighty Glacier, albeit with a weak Special Defense. Furthermore, since they are Pokemon, they can be defeated, or captured, pet, and fed little cupcakes/jellybeans/what have you.
Backstory: These legendary Pokemon are mentioned in an ancient prophecy foretelling the end of the world. About 2,500 years ago, the king of the Symphora region attacked a neighboring kingdom, which was easy prey weakened by disaster, to expand his empire. Soon afterwards, a seer from the conquered kingdom informed the Symphoran king that a world-ending catastrophe. from which even the surrounding mountains could not protect him, would strike at the heart of his empire, and his descendant would be unable to do anything but watch helplessly as the destruction unfolded.
Goals: To destroy the world, and wipe out all life in it.
Motivation: Because Destiny Says So.
Role: They play the role of the "boxart mascot" legendaries of the Symphora region. The heroes have to stop them from causing The End of the World as We Know It.
Tropes that apply to both:
- Destroyer Deity
- Evil Versus Evil: Technically, they're not evil, just doing their jobs, but when the two meet, they fight each other, wreaking havoc in the process. The winner gets to finish destroying everything (and is the one the heroes must fight).
- Olympus Mons
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Tyragnok's red oni to Noviru's blue.
- Secondary Color Nemesis: Noviru has a lot of orange in its design, and Tyragnok is purple (and also has green eyes).
- Super Mode: Possibly. I'm considering giving each of them a more powerful form that they take upon defeating the other.
- Death from Above
- Doomy Dooms of Doom: Its Pokedex classification is "The Doom Comet Pokemon."
- Giant Flyer: Roughly the size of a horse.
- Mayan Doomsday: Based on this.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: It's a peacock-phoenix-griffin from space. And it's on fire.
- Our Gryphons Are Different: Just replace the eagle with a peacock.
- Playing with Fire / Light 'em Up: It's a Fire/Fairy type.
- Fangs Are Evil: Not only does it have very sharp and very poisonous fangs, but its lower jaw splits in two.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: The name is derived from "tyrant/tyranny" and "Ragnarok."
- Poisonous Person / Our Dragons Are Different: It's a Poison/Dragon type.
- Planet Eater: Doesn't exactly eat the planet itself, but it does eat a lot of what it destroys.
- Shout-Out: Tyragnok's coloration is inspired by the Eater of Worlds, a boss from Terraria.
- Snakes Are Sinister: It's based on the serpents Nidhoggr and Jormungandr from Norse Mythology.
- Wormsign: And it causes a lot of quakes in the process.
edited 21st May '18 1:00:46 PM by AgentKirin
Shin Megami Tensei IV
For a duo of mascot Uber Legendary Pokemon? I like them. Especially Noviru who is from two of my favorite Types and had a Phoenix design.
Watch me destroying my country
- Name: Jackson White
- Age: at the start 17 - he's around 19 or so during Book IV
- Personality: Jackson starts the series Matthew's Jerk Jock adversary - ill-tempered, Casanova Wannabe, a bully, and domineering. He basically micromanaged the entire team and it was taken as a good sign Matthew took over while Jackson was put firmly into second string. This was just the start to years of frustration on Jackson's part - he sincerely thought he was doing his best, and then a Sophomore comes along and displaces an actual senior. Jackson for his part is burned out from literally everyone in his family and around him expecting so many things of him, and he cannot actually achieve all of them considering some of these expectations are contradictory. He feels he has to achieve these things and do so himself, and his controlling nature could be linked to a general feeling of lack of trust in others rooted in just how little most people tend to regard him. On top of all this, Jackson is a veritable nervous wreck who attends a church purely to pray his bisexuality away - he does not want to accept this side of himself, and drastically overcompensates for what he sees as a lack of masculinity on his part. On top of all this is his rough introduction to the Magic Side - having a spell inside him since he was born, which afflicted him with the memory and personality of his past life when the stress got to be too much. This resulted in him becoming a vastly more bitter, hateful, and destructive character at least at first. But not because of the new memories dominating him, but because at long last he had finally snapped. His emotions are basically a storm, and the neuroses hit their peak...
- Abilities:
- The ability all his other abilities spring from is his ability to control and even somehow create Magitech via replicating nanomachines that emerge from a peculiar necklace that only existed when his "Celestial Memory" spell activated. This let him create and amplify existing materials around him to create his weapons and armor. He seems to instantly be able to identify what the result of such an amplification would be.
- The AEGIS system: what looks like four interconnected blue curved blades in a circular design - this can both create an extremely powerful shield and slash through opponents as a similarly extremely powerful weapon.
- His "Exo-Suit", which resembles a silver and blue bodysuit that amplifies his basic resilience and strength, on top of insulating him from a large number of magical effects.
- A further suit of armor that covers him more thoroughly including a number of weapons - a Buckler Blade Shield, missiles, shoulder mounted turrets, and the armored gauntlets of the armor themselves, amped with boosters. However, the "Second Suit" also functions as a support system, immediately letting Jackson connect to his allies, and coordinate strategies and immediate information. This is apparently something his "old self" had used.
- The Exterio Terror Suit, which is worn over the immediate prior armor, which looks vastly more bestial and which includes as weapons rocket fists, a variety of beams and missiles, superheated steam, and a larger version of the AEGIS.
- Weaknesses: The Celestial Memory externalization aka the necklace is the epicenter of his abilities, and destroying it at first eliminates his ability to use any of the above.
- Goals: At first get payback on Matthew for replacing him, then later it just in generally becomes repaying everyone for their constant expectations and demands.
- Motivation: An inferiority complex, seriously enormous self hate, and a final snap when one of his choices gets hit with Shoot the Shaggy Dog.
- Role in the story: sort of a villainous Sixth Ranger.
- Backstory: Jackson comes from a rather old family - while they were involved in the Magic Side in the past, such is no longer the case in the present. They are basically Impoverished Patricians - they were once glorious, but now are far less so. As such there was always a tremendous amount of pressure on Jackson to succeed ‘’somehow’’. His mother was an Education Mama who tried to force him to pursue higher academics at times by restricting his access to friends and social contact, while his father believes his true calling was to be a typically alpha male jock - to become an NFL player, and bring money back to the family that way. Jackson’s grandfather wanted only to pass down his blacksmithing techniques to the young man, and this was distorted by the messenger, Jackson’s cousin Oliver, who was himself The Bully - and it is implied Jackson learned his bullying behaviors from his cousin. None of them accepted his bisexuality - with his mother outright ordering him “stuff that shit in the closet!” and his father threatening worse if he “humiliated the family” and “we didn’t raise a faggot.” Jackson was never asked what he wanted to be, but he went along with sports and actually grew to enjoy it, though he was pigeonholed into a "Stop Having Fun" Guys type by his coach and left few opportunities besides to indulge his other interests. Then Matthew came along - a boy two years younger than Jackson, who pretty much seized the spotlight and the position of QB, along with exposing his bullying behaviors. Jackson was left with a second string position that looked ever more dismal - and his advice from Corpheus and Nyxus grew more toxic.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Armored Closet Gay: He is in utter denial of his bisexuality, trying to impress upon everyone he's straight, and engaging in homophobic bullying early on to "make it obvious I'm no queer". He seems to operate under the impression of "go with one guy and you're gay" / No Bisexuals, and that if he goes out with a guy he'll suddenly lose all his attraction to women. It certainly hints at a frantic and deluded self perception. Even after coming back from the dead, he's utterly skittish on his date with Shuuji despite coming to terms with himself out in Europe; "W-we're not gonna do anything like...super-gay, are we...?". Shuuji: Jackson, can we kiss without you having a nervous meltdown?
- Back from the Dead: And for the most part, it is inexplicable...until it is discovered his Celestial Memory spell included adding a Magitech piece inside him that would activate if he was killed and reconstitute his body...but only once.
- Bi The Way: In complete denial of it at first - trying to make it as "obvious" as possible he is straight, but eventually he manages to accept it...it just took coming back from the dead.
- Casanova Wannabe: Mostly as a cover for his own insecurity - he thinks if he goes out with enough women, it’ll make his attraction to men disappear. It doesn’t.
- Chair Reveal: On board his huge airship Omega Sol, this is how he greets the crossover heroes in Tri Age, commentating that this is a classic, and he had to go for it once.
- The Corruptible: Poor, poor Jackson White - so desperate for a purpose, so bitter about being thrown around and devalued, never allowed to shine in anything. His bitterness and desperation made it easy for Corpheus and Nyxus to Good Cop/Bad Cop him right into a breakdown...and corresponding activation of Celestial Memory.
- Desperately Craves Affection: Jackson wants someone to care about him beyond a request or demand and its fulfilment - fundamentally, he wants a relationship where he isn’t made to leap through hoops for affection.
- The Dog Bites Back: After so long, he has a veritable list of people he bites back at.
- His cousin Oliver was basically the even bigger bully to Jackson, pushing him around and taking advantage of whatever Jackson tried to care about. Jackson’s elderly grandfather just wanted Jackson to learn blacksmithing from him, and Oliver lied about this to make Jackson think his grandfather wanted him to inherit the whole shop...and then when the old man died, Oliver revealed he’d lawyered his way into control of the shop and “ownership of all things related to it”. So Oliver says to Jackson, holding his grandfather’s old hammer, “Give me that hammer, Jackson. I won it over you, you stupid jock schmuck.” Jackson gives him the hammer. Bonus points for this happening shortly after Celestial Memory activating.
- Oliver’s underlings basically used their boss’s prominence and influence in Jackson’s family to push around and hurt Jackson. After Jackson made their boss’s head explode, they try and swarm him to avenge their leader. Jackson reveals his Magitech abilities by turning the mundane old blacksmith’s hammer into a powerful Magitech Hammer that rips through those guys like a hot knife through butter.
- Jackson’s older sister took glee in emotionally abusing him after one failure too many, snarking at him in extremely mean fashion, showing she knew he was bisexual and considered him less of a man for it. She entered Book IV attempting to Out Jackson. Instead of killing her himself, he simply uses his ability to resuscitate the downed mecha tank “Helbrute” Caine had made - and the vicious machine runs her over while trying to kill her.
- Drop The Hammer: he kept his grandfather’s hammer on him as his chief weapon, even post resurrection.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: Nobody respects Jackson, to the point of abuse, in his private life, and then at school when his status crumbles. Even when he was QB, the coach did nothing but place demands on him, encouraging his micromanaging tendencies. This definitely plays a role in his declining state in Book IV.
- Dumb Muscle: Averted - he’s a lot smarter and more contemplative than one would think, he just doesn’t show it to be more at home with “the guys”.
- Epiphany Therapy: Matthew finally listens to him while fighting Exterio Terror, and instead of dismissing him, apologizes for never being there for him, and even while destroying the Celestial Memory’s externalization makes it clear that Jackson is not bad for existing, that people ‘’do’’ care, and that even though Jackson resented and hated him, Matt doesn’t, and wants to help him reach his dreams. This interrupts Caine’s attempts to recruit Jackson.
- Heel–Face Turn: While suffering momentary Redemption Demotion via loss of powers, Jackson was willing to abandon his bitterness and resignation to “his fate” and resolved to turn things around…
- Redemption Equals Death: ...and then he promptly shows his gratitude to Matthew for finally listening and not condemning him by bravely defying Caine and distracting him. It cost him his life…
- Redemption Earns Life: ...but a countermeasure his prior self had made resulted in Jackson coming back, and getting both a place he wanted, and finally getting to live in a way he chose.
- Even Evil Has Standards: When Elwood discovers how bad Jackson’s had it, being humiliated, tossed around, pulled between various demands and requests, even he just says, “I am...sorry, Jackson. You never deserved any of that. I won’t ask you to serve Zayufur nor will I bother you further.”
- In his tenure as Umbral Horde Ferrum’s leader, he shows himself to have standards, and respects his troops enough to not throw their lives away.
- Expy: In line with Caine’s neuroses, this trope is attempted to be played in universe - Caine thought Jackson would be his Perturabo...and he was absolutely wrong. Instead, Jackson overcame bitterness and hate, and even when he comes back and leads Umbral Horde Ferrum, he’s one of the less vile Umbral Horde Warlords.
- Freak Out: When Oliver reveals grandad is dead, and that he basically did everything for nothing. It culminates in brutally murdering Oliver with his new Magitech Hammer, following suit with Oliver’s hired underlings.
- Gym Bunny: The side effect of Jackson’s pursuits - he has a well honed body made for aesthetic appreciation. Matthew outright mentions he’s never seen a guy obsess over obliques development as much as Jackson does. He desperately wants to show how buff and manly and macho he is. Unfortunately, his gym attire shows a bit too much - going from simple gym attire to dressing in tiny shorts and stringers during his workouts.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Played with - Jackson’s temper can either take a long time to explode, or suddenly and explosively burst out destructively. It is a hint toward his mental state.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Jackson White is mentioned early on as having quite an intense love life, and is quite the Casanova Wannabe - successful but not as successful as he’d like. And he is always talking about the sex he just had. With a woman. And how un-gay it is to have sex with women.
- Hot Guys Are Bastards: Jackson at first glance is basically the evil, hot jock - picks on people, is a player, and has a temper. Inside, however, he is surprisingly complicated. For one, he is internally a lot brainier than most would assume.
- Humongous Mecha: His Exterio Terror Armor is tremendous and piloted by his smaller suit of armor. He is also a fan of these kinds of things post-rebirth, improving on Caine's "derivatively named beige monstrosity". It is him that created the Helgigas Despiser - a powerful and destructive weapon that wields a gigantic chainsaw and an equally huge rail cannon among other weapons - and the Helclops Furnace - a tremendous mono-eyed monster made with flame weaponry in mind. "Changed the name of the new models. Didn't want to risk my undermanned unit getting slapped with a lawsuit and becoming insolvent." These new machines are quickly proven to be quite deadly, amplifying and assisting the senses of the pilots. Moreover, at least one Helgigas Despiser shows it is entirely sane, and capable of following mission parameters - making it even more deadly for this.
- In the Tri-Age crossover, when antagonistic, Jackson will use the advanced technology of Umbral Horde Ferrum, put mostly-dead or dying characters (usually rather cruel or simply unsympathetic ones) into one of his robots as a Wetware CPU system. While this saves the life of the character in question, they’re usually not very grateful considering their new lease on life consists of being a robot and being hauled around in an airship.
- Tokizane: Jackson you son of a bitch! GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING THING!!
- In the Tri-Age crossover, when antagonistic, Jackson will use the advanced technology of Umbral Horde Ferrum, put mostly-dead or dying characters (usually rather cruel or simply unsympathetic ones) into one of his robots as a Wetware CPU system. While this saves the life of the character in question, they’re usually not very grateful considering their new lease on life consists of being a robot and being hauled around in an airship.
- Jerk Jock: At least initially this is the impression given. Jackson POV chapters show beneath his playboy personality and bullying is a deeply insecure man with problems that run very deep.
- The Leader: Of Umbral Horde Ferrum after his return. For his part, he is uneasy suddenly leading a group he knows nothing about. However he is nothing if not a quick study. Before long he's issuing orders and attending meetings with the other Warlords. He even manages to acquire Hanzo's respect.
- A Lighter Shade of Black: After his revival, he is one of few Umbral Horde Warlords Matthew and company actually deal with on a regular basis - Shuuji even, as covered, went on a date with him. Even with the occasional dust up in mind, his lack of antagonism is notable considering what happened before.
- Mood-Swinger: Between abusive bully, sobbing victim of his own bully, desperately denying himself, and managing to occasionally be nice...yeah, Jackson has some mood problems. He still deals with a bit of this after his revival, showing in spite of it his issues still exist.
- No Bisexuals: Jackson's impression of his own nature - he thinks if he has sex with or even kisses one guy, he's gay. He is quite wrong about that, and his perception is not helped by the corruptive influences in his life.
- Pet the Dog: Jackson apparently knew of Aaron Cascade’s home life, and that was why he kept him on and tolerated his ways - he recognized something of a kindred spirit.
- The Resenter: He deeply resents Matthew for displacing him first as quarterback, and then as Big Man on Campus, and going even further. Jackson hates and resents Matthew for being everything he failed to be. That he gets stuck doing dead end and glum, ungratifying work while Matthew manages to be The Hero, recognized and liked. Complicating the matter is how Jackson found himself attracted to Matthew’s appearance while resenting him. After coming back, he seemed to have recognized how toxic his resentment really is and leaves it in the past.
- Simple, yet Awesome: When he sees that Ferrum has 1) a large number of airships due to collaborating at Erdengard with Antonius in the city’s defence, and 2) lots of heinous humongous robots while lacking soldier numbers, he creates a rather powerful strategy of loading the various Hel-bots into the airships and then dropping them into battle. This includes horrifying powerhouses like the AEXA-999, which makes a Despiser look like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Shin calls it “Its Raining Killbots!”
- Sympathy for the Devil: Matthew realizes just how bad he screwed up in regards to Jackson, and outright apologizes.
- Took a Level in Badass: Coming back from the dead seems to have had the effect of calming him a bit on top of improving his abilities, and he quickly acclimates to the way things are. He managed to re-learn everything he had with Celestial Memory, despite lacking his past self's experience and most of his memories.
- Where I Was Born and Razed: He razes the old family home, the surrounding area, and still feels hate and resent remaining.
- Wicked Cultured: For a given definition of wicked - at his most antagonistic post-revival, he’s taken to some rather nice clothes, a more corporate villain appearance, and altogether seems kind of like Masayuki Hanzo’s corporate head as much as his overlord.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Nobody gave him a chance. Matthew dismissed him due to first impressions and terrible communication as nothing but a Jerk Jock bully. He tries and fails to balance everything those in his life requested and demanded, was manipulated and deceived, had his sexuality demonized and quashed it as hard as possible. People around him abused and controlled him with terrible results. By Book IV, he’s a neurotic wreck trying desperately to salvage his life, terrified of magic due to his experiences with it, with only a vague promise by Corpheus of “great deeds ahead” to go forward for. And then his grandfather, the one ray of kindness in his life, died and Oliver gave every inclination of selling off the old man’s smithy and everything to do with it… And that, was when Jackson snapped at long last. He very well almost threw in with Caine simply because Caine asked him, “Jackson, what do YOU feel like doing?”
- Shin: ...Matt, I think we all kind of fucked up with Jackson White.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Well, he’s quite a complicated case. To be honest, reading just from what you’ve written so far, I don’t know how I should approach analyzing and judging Jackson. This is primarily because there are many different key aspects that seem a bit unrelated. There’s struggle with his sexuality, his family and athletic career…and then his past life as a powerful magic user, if I read it correctly? I actually thought he was an antagonist to a non-speculative teen story when I read just the first two.
I’m not saying it’s a problem, I’m just saying that I would have to read on to get a full context of the setting and other characters around him, especially this Matthew character, who I assume is the main character. Or maybe it CAN be a problem, in that it could cause his character arc to be less focused. Also, I feel that I need fuller explanation on the circumstances of his revival, seeing how that’s probably the one of the biggest turning point of his character arc.
…This probably doesn’t really count as a full critique. XP
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
How would this thread feel about a Villain Protagonist that follows his attempts to rule the world and find a proper hero to oppose him?
For a comic book supervillain:
Name: Tyron the conqueror./ The Godslayer
"'Appearance''': Standing 3 meters tall and weighing 1 ton, Tyron is a tall and muscular alien, bald, has sharp ears and eyes with no pupils or irises, just glowing purple. He has a black exoskeleton covering his body and purple cracked-shaped markings covering his body. On his chest is a purple glowing orb. He has a long tail that is 5 meters long that is capable of acting as a extra limb. Normally, he wears dark blue and silver armor with Tron Lines, but occasionally he goes in a more royal garb when he believes his enemies aren't worth taking seriously.
Personality: Powerful, charismatic, violent and ambitious are the words to describe Tyron. There's nothing that can satisfies his endless desire for power, and he desires it to the point that he doesn't even remember what he wanted power for. While it is common for conquerors to have an Evil Empire, he barely engages himself in actually ruling them, rather focusing on conquering even more, delegating the work to other, more corrupt individuals. There are only a rare few he consider Worthy Opponents, and he'll be enraged if anybody not fitting that criteria tries challenging him, or worst, actually beating him. Note that those he consider worthy are those that are willing to challenge him despite recognizing certain death, as in they have to actually admit they can't win, so in the end it's still stroking his pride.
He can keep his calm most of the time, even if his plans are failing, due to wanting to keep a dignified appearance in front of others, be it his enemies or subjects. Never begs for mercy or forgiveness, he believes that Might Makes Right and morality is worthless when one can easily give it up in the face of force.
Abilities: Tyron gained his prowess from the gladiatorial arena, being its unquestioned champion. He has faced giant beasts, armed soldiers and the most skilled warriors from across the galaxy. After leaving the arena, he educated himself in magic and science, combining them to form his armor and enhance his battle prowess. After returning from the infinite pit, he gained cosmic powers that allowed him to rival gods. Easily able to shatter planets with his punches and channel that power into energy blasts rivaling supernovas, his power is near unchallenged in the universe. His armor is specially made to defend himself against curses and magic, capable of defending him from reality-warping abilities when enhanced by his cosmic power.
Weaknesses: Rarely if ever fights at full strength, he would never actually use any more power than he deemed necessary against his opponents. If he actually bleeds, the cosmic power he gained with leak out like a punctured tire if he doesn't seal it quick.
Goal: While he believes that he will only be satisfied after conquering everything, in the end its just an endless void that he can't fill.
Motivation: Victory over opponents fulfills him, so much so that when there aren't anymore challenges, he becomes depressed.
Role in the story: The final villain.
Backstory: Conceived in the Gigantes galactic empire by a pair of nobles, Tyron was rejected by his parents ever since he was born, due to his appearance. Due to their noble status, they have to treat him well in front of others. Behind closed doors, it's neglect at best, abuse at worst. He also had to receive abuse from his siblings, as well as ostracized at school. He studies hard to prove others wrong, with top scores at every class. This drive his classmates to bully him out of jealousy. However, he has gained his revenge by plotting their deaths one by one. Poisoned food, car accidents or just straight up stabbing them, everybody that crossed him has died.
This doesn't go unnoticed by his parents, but with a reputation to uphold, they organized a kidnapping that would end with him getting murdered. His kidnappers sells him into slavery to get extra money, where he ends up in the gladiatorial arena. A child would normally get killed fast, and he was originally supposed to be killed by a beast for the opening act. However, he managed to kill the beast through craftiness and ruthlessness, which made him popular among the crowd. Trained in combat, he quickly rises to become champion after coming of age.
He was bought by a noble to act as a bodyguard. During this, he would secretly research on magic and science from books that his master owned. Using his old tricks, he starts murdering the children of the noble while acting faithfully as a bodyguard. Eventually, when the noble died, Tyron inherits his fortune and title. Eventually, through charisma and assassinations, he quickly rises in power. However, his crimes were once again exposed, but he managed to escape on a spaceship before he was arrested. With nowhere else to go, he sets off for the infinite pit, a legendary place where it's said that one can gain power rivaling gods, if they are able to return.
When Tyron returned, he immediately kills the gods of Gigantes, destroys the government and declare himself ruler, believing that subterfuge is no longer needed. He goes to war with the entire Gigantes army by himself, winning with relative ease. Seemingly warped by his experience in the pit, he is determined to conquer the universe.
Relevant Tropes:
Ambition Is Evil: Pretty obvious.
And I Must Scream: The infinite pit petrifies all those who fails its trials in stone.
Asskicking Equals Authority: He abandons all pretense of being good for straight up using his powers to destroy all those who oppose him, and it works.
Bad Boss: Somewhat. He doesn't do any actual ruling, leaving any duties to his immediate subjects. He would kill them if they fail though.
Being Tortured Makes You Evil: More eviler. The infinite pit has seven trials, each designed to break someone in different ways. The first is to confront your greatest fear. The second is to fight a constant battle for three days against a seemingly endless army of monsters.The third is undergoing torture designed to maximize the suffering the body can take. The fourth is psychological torture specifically designed for each individual. The fifth is staying in a And I Must Scream state for 10,000 years(mentally). The sixth is having your brain filled with the thoughts, desires and emotions of countless individuals across the universe. The seventh is a Lotus-Eater Machine, where they have to break out of. Safe to say Tyron isn't as sane as before.
Brutal Honesty: No need for hide his thoughts anymore.
Classic Villain: Ambition, pride and wrath.
Curb-Stomp Battle: Usually delivers this.
Dark and Troubled Past: When your entire life dictates that murder and power is what helps you in life, what else can you be?
The Dreaded: For much of the universe.
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Downplayed. He has mutual loyalty and borderline Villainous Friendship with some of his lieutenants.
Even Evil Has Standards: Having undergone torture himself, he refuses to torture people, just straight up killing them. If he needs information, he uses more conventional means.
Evil Overlord
Genius Bruiser: While not a genius, he is capable of strategy, is an effective if brutal leader and knows enough science to fix his spaceship.
{{It's All About Me}}: Everything he does is to satisfy his lust for power.
Lightning Bruiser: Can move faster than light while strong enough to destroy planets.
Minor Injury Overreaction: Justified, considering he can lose his cosmic powers if he ever bleeds.
Purple Eyes
One-Man Army: Destroyed the Gigantes army single-handedly.
Pet the Dog: He is willing to listen to hear out his subordinate's side of the story if a plan fails, and kill those he believes responsible while lightly punishing the others.
Purple Is Powerful
The Unfettered: He will stop at nothing, sacrifice anyone, defile the most sacred artifacts and even commit genocide if it means furthering his goals.
Armor of Invincibility: Protects him from curses and other forms of magic, while also capable of withstand a black hole.
Badass Cape His royal garb, for less serious battles, has a fabulous red half-cape.
Person of Mass Destruction
Red Baron: Godslayer, because the first thing he does upon returning is killing the gods.
Anti-Magic: His armor.
Nerves of Steel: Not many things can cause fear when you've undergone the greatest torture one can ever experience.
Call to Agriculture In an alternate timeline, he somehow becomes a successful farmer and content with life. Seriously.
Tranquil Fury: Only shows this, to keep up appearances.
edited 2nd Feb '18 8:44:36 AM by Ikedatakeshi