Synchtube Tropers (Riff on Videos and Movies)

This one was bound to have its day here at some point.

As was ordained by the Fates.

Alright, pizanos, we're starting off with another throwback to The Super Mario Bros. Super Show.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, we watch the latest Keanu Reeves sci-fi disasterpiece, Replicas. Yes, I would DARE to put it on level with Johnny Mnemonic. It's THAT bad.

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Edited by SeanMurrayI on Apr 22nd 2019 at 7:30:22 AM

So here we have it: "The Mt. Everest of Insane '70s Italian Movies"

It's a story about "The soul of a young girl with telekinetic powers that becomes the prize in a fight between forces of God and the Devil," with Mel Ferrer, Glen Ford, Lance Henriksen, Shelly Winters, and prized filmmakers Sam Peckinpah and (for the second time in five days) John Huston.

I give you The Visitor...

Alright, we're getting things started with a grab bag variety of preshow entertainment.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, we got a batshit crazy Italian movie with the highest-possible expectations that we could place on a batshit crazy Italian movie: The Visitor.

Let's do this...

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Take a look at Thailand's ripoff of How to Train Your Dragon. Shown to me by ilrahc, who is a big How to Train Your Dragon fan.

Yep, that's some especially terrible computer animation right there.

Anyway, tonight...

Before Urban Menace, before Nemesis, even before that 1990 Captain America movie... Hack director Albert Pyun is bringing us supermodel Kathy Ireland (in her first movie role) in a story about a Southern Californian teenager who stumbles into a strange subterranean civilization.

Here comes the Alien from L.A.

FYI, I will be unable to come on Friday.

Alright, I picked out some new content from Jerma and a random short film to start us off.

Then, at the top of the coming hour... Kathy Ireland is the Alien from L.A.

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So yeah... Our belated Easter movie. I dare anybody to sit through this.

The short of it is that this is the Biblical story of the life of Jesus. The trailer really wants for this to be taken as seriously as possible, but the overly simplistic animation style and budget has a very adverse effect on how basic stories about Jesus are depicted. Jesus healing a blind man is a particularly naff moment that I've watched already.

Anyway, I leave you with Jesus: He Lived Among Us...

Tonight it's our Easter movie. Jesus: He Lived Among Us.

Before that, more Mario.

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~lewattoo ~Noaqiyeum ~Finger Puppet ~Colonel Cathcart ~Completely Normal Guy ~TAPETRVE ~Rockonman ~Mystic Eclectic ~Shippudentimes ~Space Wolf ~Maple Samurai ~Tomodachi ~Germi91 ~iflewaway

"A virgin! Ha ha ha! That's impossible!" Fun out of context quote.

What is with this random overhead view?◊ These overhead views kept showing up, but here, it's just preaching.

"I will make you fishers of men." "But this is the biggest catch we ever had!" "From now on, you will catch men."

"Adultery. The very act!" Love how they don't say what "adultery" is so the kids at home won't learn such filth.

And then near the end, it got pretty bloody. Because blood is okay in a kids' cartoon, since it's about Jesus!

The art is sometimes a bit inconsistent as well. Near the end, Jesus' nose was suddenly drawn in a totally different style - much bigger and more realistically shaped. It didn't look like that before! What happened?!

Well, this got    X    from us.

Oh, HO-OH-HOOOOOoooooooooo...

This Kung Fu Friday, we're revisiting Jean-Claude Van Damme beating up an NHL team mascot in Sudden Death (aka, "Die Hard at the Stanley Cup Finals")

(Remind me one of these days to run Dave Bautista in "Sudden Death at a Soccer Match")

What stuck out to me about that movie was the scene with the penguin mascot, yup. That was a lot of fun.

~Bonsai Forest — I need to know if you already have the movie files. I couldn't find them on our playlists. Anyway...

Oh, HO-OH-HOOOOOOOoooooooo...

We're kicking off another Kung Fu Friday like we do with another episode of Takeshi's Castle.

Then, at the top of the coming hour we (hopefully) we'll get to rewatching Sudden Death, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Powers Boothe, and the Pittsburgh Penguins mascot Iceburgh... Unless we have a last minute change of plans.

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Tonight, we roll out Richard Donnor's Conspiracy Theory, with Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts, and Patrick Stewart.

Mel Gibson plays a crackpot who self-publishes a newsletter to spread his crazy ideas... only one of his batshit theories turns out to actually be true.

Alright, we're kicking off with a 90's Marvel Comics cartoon.

And then at the top of the coming hour, we discover exactly how Mel Gibson went cuckoo bananas in Conspiracy Theory.

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According to some sources, Vincent Price refers to tonight's movie as "the most dreadful movie [he's] ever been in."

Some people I've talked to have alleged that both Price's personal experience of making this movie, in addition to the quality of the final product put on screen, were so bad that it begun to shift his moods about his exclusive contract with American International Pictures (pretty much everything we've ever seen with Vincent Price from the 1960's and very early 70's was produced and distributed through AIP), and his relationships with the higher-ups at the studio had begun to sour.

This movie was essentially designed as a sequel to two unrelated films: Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine () and an Italian spy comedy called Two Mafiosi Against Goldfinger (which we haven't seen).

Here, the titular Dr. Goldfoot (played once again by Price) is working with the Chinese government to use "exploding female robots" to disrupt a scheduled NATO war-game by blowing up the various generals involved in the exercise and help kickstart World War III... because reasons.

So get ready for Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs...

how i learned to stop worrying and fuck the bomb

As a matter of fact, the originally proposed title of this movie was Dr. Goldfoot and the Love Bombs and was deliberately meant to harp on Dr. Strangelove.

Anyway, we'll be off and running with more 90's cartoon schlock.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, Vincent Price returns in Dr. Goldfoot and the Love Bombs.

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So I found some awesome preshow material:

Tonight, we roll out the cult biker movie about two "lifelong buddies," who are named after commercial products, scheme to save their friend's bar by robbing a bank's armored car... Only the cargo of this vehicle isn't money but a new street drug.

Mickie Rourke and Don Johnson are Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man...

Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man are here tonight.

Before that, some Mario, and some of the Japanese rogue mascot Chiitan's antics.

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~lewattoo ~Noaqiyeum ~Finger Puppet ~Colonel Cathcart ~Completely Normal Guy ~TAPETRVE ~Rockonman ~Mystic Eclectic ~Shippudentimes ~Space Wolf ~Maple Samurai ~Tomodachi ~Germi91 ~iflewaway

The name sounded better than the final product. It got ★, albeit evenly split between 1s and 2s. NormalGuy said he almost gave it a 3.

Edited by BonsaiForest on Apr 29th 2019 at 9:34:00 AM

I'm finding these interesting short indie films on YouTube that I think would be fun for us to watch sometimes - I'm talking short as in 10 to 25 minutes. But I think we should really check some out.

A thriller

Home Alone meets Gremlins/ET, kinda

Both of those are ~25 minutes long. That makes them pre-show material, but I'd like for us to watch some kind of short film when a lot of people are likely to be here. Maybe as an after-show?