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VampireBuddha Calendar enthusiast from Ireland (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
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#1: Aug 12th 2012 at 4:13:45 AM

I've been pondering Superman recently. My knowledge of him comes mostly from movies and TV, so I'm not sure if any of these thoughts were answered in the comics. Were they?


In 1982s, Alan Moore wrote and affectionate parody of Superman's origin called "Bad Timing". In it, R-Thur turns out to be mistaken about the impending explosion of his planet, meaning that he's launched his infant son off into deep space for no reason.

Anyway, due to falling into some sort of negative space wedgie, the baby arrives at Earth not in 1938, but in 1983, at the height of the Cold War. His little spaceship is picked up by American and Soviet radar systems; both sides mistake the blip for nukes and fire their own nukes at each other. Everybody dies.

Now, with the sliding timescale present in DC, Superman today fell to Earth some time between 1977 and 1982 - right around the time Moore's story is set. Was Kal-El's little spaceship ever picked up in radar?


Last year, I applied for a job in South Korea*. In order to get it, I had to prove I didn't have any major allergies and was properly vaccinated.

If Perry decided to send Clark to report on events in another country, it's reasonable to assume that Clark would have to prove the same things to get into the country. How would this work? I imagine the simple fact that he'd never been diagnosed with a serious allergy would be evidence enough on that score, but since he's Superman, the needle needed for a vaccination wouldn't pierce his skin.

Now, Superman stands for "Truth, Justice, and the American Way." Notice how truth is so important he puts it first. I doubt Clark would be willing to outright lie about this*

, so what would he do in this case?

Ukrainian Red Cross
KingZeal Since: Oct, 2009
#2: Aug 12th 2012 at 12:50:26 PM

  1. "Truth, Justice and the American way" is just a tagline. Most Superman stories don't care about the order. And even then, Superman perfectly willing to use a Jedi Truth or Exact Words to sidestep the truth.

  2. Superman stories vary on whether or not Americans or Russians picked up the ship. Some stories have the ship fall during a meteor storm. Others give it some sort of cloaking ability. Others just say someone everybody happened to be in the john when it fell. Most recently, the 2011 reboot had the American government pick up on it, but the Kents pulled a bait-and-switch. (This brings up further questions as to why the government didn't monitor them and start noticing when weird shit started happening in Smallville.)

  3. Clark has medical records, or he has some sort of friend in high places that can forge things for him or get him through red tape without needing to be checked. Also, during the many, many stories where Superman loses his powers/becomes sick/is affected by kryptonite, he tends to go out of his way to do as many "human" things as possible at this time so that his cover identity is secured a little.

TheDrifter Since: Mar, 2011
#3: Aug 14th 2012 at 3:57:29 PM

I'm sure I've read somewhere that some of the surgical tools used on Superman contains traces of kryptonite to penetrate his skin. That was the case in JLU when Hamilton shows the machine he used to operate on Supergirl.

Going by that, Clark could just rub the part of his skin they are going to inject he vaccine into with some extremely diluted kryptonite solution so the syringe would penetrate his skin. Not impossible with his super speed.

edited 14th Aug '12 3:57:42 PM by TheDrifter

VampireBuddha Calendar enthusiast from Ireland (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
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#4: Aug 15th 2012 at 7:49:36 AM

Right, but in my scenario, he'd need a certificate from a proper doctor. Is there anyone who knows his secret identity who also has a medical license?

Although I suppose if he just got vaccinated during one of those powerless periods, or alternatively he got vaccinated as a kid before his powers developed, that would take care of most situations.

Ukrainian Red Cross
Deadpoolrocks Since: Sep, 2010
#5: Aug 15th 2012 at 10:23:02 AM

Dr. Midnight.He usually works on every Superhero.

Robbery Since: Jul, 2012
#6: Aug 19th 2012 at 10:16:23 PM

Back during Byrne's run, a villian named Bloodsport shot Superman with a Kryptonite needle; doctors were able to remove the needle, but then had to expose him to the Krpytonite again to properly dress the wound, because apparently the wound started to close and heal as soon as the Kryptonite was gone.

Pre Crisis, Star Labs used to step up and do whatever medical stuff Superman required, usually Dr.Janet Klyburn (a great character, who I really wish they'd bring back).

AtomJames I need a drink Since: Apr, 2010
I need a drink
#7: Aug 19th 2012 at 10:34:58 PM

If that was the case, wouldn't S.T.A.R Labs have a "Red Room" where they could just operate on Superman? Wouldn't the Fortress of Solitude? I'd imagine that Clark would've taken first aid or at least studies combat medicine to do it himself or have one of the Superman Robots operate on him?

Theres sex and death and human grime in monochrome for one thin dime and at least the trains all run on time but they dont go anywhere.
imadinosaur Since: Oct, 2011
#8: Aug 20th 2012 at 5:09:07 PM

I'd imagine Superman would have a super immune system to go with the rest of his powers - or, being an alien, Earth diseases just wouldn't affect him (I know of at least one Kryptonian disease that did, pre-Crisis, in a Swamp Thing crossover).

EDIT: Oh damn, just read the OP more carefully. Maybe he has super document forgery abilities?

edited 20th Aug '12 5:11:08 PM by imadinosaur

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Robbery Since: Jul, 2012
#9: Aug 20th 2012 at 10:21:20 PM

[up][up]All of those ideas make sense. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he had his robots programmed with medical functions. [up] There was one story where Superman being exposed to a rare disease was essential, because the antibodies produced by his "super-immune system" provided the cure. In "The Dying Day of Lois and Lana" Lois Lane and Lana Lang were, along with Clark Kent, exposed to the same rare disease that killed Ma and Pa Kent (apparently, pre Crisis, they had been exposed to the disease while on a cruise, and that's what killed them...according to THIS story anyway). Superman ultimately figures out that, because this time HE had been exposed as well, his blood produced antibodies and he was able to create a serum that cured them.

AtomJames I need a drink Since: Apr, 2010
I need a drink
#10: Aug 28th 2012 at 10:31:23 PM

I have a question of my own actually. We've seen stories where Clark has become the Green Lantern or Batman, but have we ever seen a story where he's become lex luthor?

Theres sex and death and human grime in monochrome for one thin dime and at least the trains all run on time but they dont go anywhere.
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