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TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#251: Nov 22nd 2013 at 9:05:38 AM

Chamber?

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
maxwellelvis Mad Scientist Wannabe from undisclosed location Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: In my bunk
Mad Scientist Wannabe
#252: Nov 22nd 2013 at 9:29:59 AM

[up]Of Secrets.

Of course, don't you know anything about ALCHEMY?!- Twin clones of Ivan the Great
TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#253: Nov 22nd 2013 at 9:38:49 AM

Nah, I'm pretty damn sure it will wrap itself up in one year. As for portraying Salazar, I mean it describes him as such, the bigotry came in Slytherin later, there's a pretty interesting arc regarding that. But, you know, there aren't any flashback chapters to the Fab Four going on adventures or anything. One thing; Salazar could make a Patronus, Gryffindor couldn't.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
KnownUnknown Since: Jan, 2001
#254: Nov 24th 2013 at 11:55:23 PM

Granted, I haven't looked too hard (since whenever I look for Harry Potter fics I rarely look at "Founders" fics), but I've always liked how Salazar was portrayed in this one - as a slightly amoral Jerk with a Heart of Gold Trickster Mentor. Granted, it's not your average kind of story, so you might be looking for such a characterization in something different.

Nitramy Evil-Smiting Umbrella from Antipolo City, PH Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Evil-Smiting Umbrella
#255: Dec 4th 2013 at 3:10:53 AM

Odd idea regarding Gilderoy Lockhart:

The part where he Obliviates the people who actually do the things he writes in his books is a cover story. Lockhart himself is part of the organization that hunts down monsters all over the world, albeit the public face for England's Wizarding World.

Neither goony beard-men nor rainbow-haired she-twinks will stand in the way of my dreams!
TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#256: Dec 4th 2013 at 5:13:57 AM

That would be an Alternate Continuity, because otherwise attempting to oblivate the kids makes no sense.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
maxwellelvis Mad Scientist Wannabe from undisclosed location Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: In my bunk
Mad Scientist Wannabe
#257: Dec 4th 2013 at 6:44:28 AM

[up]To keep up the illusion that he's hiding something. Or he's still just that dumb.

Of course, don't you know anything about ALCHEMY?!- Twin clones of Ivan the Great
IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#258: Dec 5th 2013 at 1:32:22 AM

Riddle me this, how well Harry Potter will defeat Voldemort with completely different teacher? Maybe it won’t solved until he dies since some key point of story are overlooked and it’s also possible Voldemort defeated before he reach seven years, decreasing the victim on the process. So, who is the most capable teacher for Harry in Hogwarts?

so, think about it. change any or all teacher in Hogwarts with another character from another franchise. Put Annabeth from Percy Jackson for Defense against Dark Magic or throw Takamachi Nanoha for Arithmancy. Maybe also send Tohsaka Rin for Charms. The idea and possibility are unlimited and certainly interesting.

There are already many fan fic with such plot, my favorite are Professor Takamachi [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6864150/1/Professor_Takamachi] By Rick Dias and My Gilded Life [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3695419/1/My-Gilded-Life] where you put yourself in teacher’s position. And also Harry Potter and the Distorted Professor by lototheking where Shirou and Rin and the DADA Teacher.

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.
alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher from Ëa Since: Nov, 2009
Shadowed Philosopher
#259: Dec 5th 2013 at 9:10:11 AM

There's also this thing, where post-story Shirou, Rin, Saber, Sakura and Rider get dumped into the HP universe and start meddling in it. Pretty decent.

Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#260: Dec 5th 2013 at 9:18:50 AM

Aren't they a bit old for Hogwarts though?

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher from Ëa Since: Nov, 2009
Shadowed Philosopher
#261: Dec 5th 2013 at 9:42:50 AM

"Dumped into the HP universe" != "attending Hogwarts as students".

Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
EvaUnit01 Fandom Heretic Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Fandom Heretic
#262: Dec 5th 2013 at 10:30:56 AM

On the subject of FSN/HP crossovers, I am obligated to mention kyugan's Herwald von Einzbern series.

IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#263: Dec 5th 2013 at 2:22:18 PM

But Kyugan's universe meddling with Herwald as FSN Family, not student. Right? I already read it until finish and found it pretty interesting.

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.
alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher from Ëa Since: Nov, 2009
Shadowed Philosopher
#264: Dec 5th 2013 at 2:30:43 PM

Herwald von Einzbern is kind of fun, but the writing isn't nearly as competent as in Crosswinds.

Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#265: Dec 5th 2013 at 2:45:11 PM

I never expect good writing in fanfiction, Honest. but Herwald is pretty decent to me. Ah, W Hat do you think aboout this scene?

You know it’s started, right?

Yes, that’s! About a boy, barely one year old, defeat the most terrifying dark lord in the time. A Potter, wasn’t it? Harry Potter. His family is killed in that night, but somehow, nobody knows, really, the boy defeat the Dark Lord.

The news spread all over Britain, possibly more considering how destructive the power of Dark Lord’s power was, and the boy gain a famous.

For more than half a day, Sakura pondering about this. Sitting in a park in Privet Drive, Sakura playing with her Star key. The Card Sorceress not sure how the fame will affect the boy but she doesn’t want to leave the boy…at all place…here.

His only relative who –as Syaoran said- A trash of humanity. Of course Sakura still believe there is some kindness in the Dursleys, believe that save her life many time when handling many accidents in decade. But Sakura would rather take him in and raise the boy with Syaoran.

“Fancy meeting you here, Professor Li,” A man greeted, Sakura startled, but keeps her cool.

“Good Night too, Professor Dumbledore,” Sakura smiled, “Seems my prophecy are really happen.”

“You are the best in this thing and we know it,” The man, Professor Dumbledore, agreed.

“So, are you really doing this?” Sakura asked, “Syaoran really want to take him in with us and he will be really angry when he know you really did this.”

“Both of us know very well how it will affect his character, Professor Li,” the old man answered, A hero are raised from the mud.”

“You chess master,” Sakura said, “Syaoran would really enjoy to punch you as well as he enjoy punch Eriol-kun in the face the last Christmas.”

“Let him try,” Professor Dumbledore laughed.

“So, is it true?” Sakura suddenly change her tone into more serious one, “is it really true that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric’s Hollow,” Sakura tried not to sob, “And He went to find the Pot-ters. The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are — are — that…They are” She paused, “Dead?”

“I thought you already know?” Professor Dumbledore seems surprised.

“My prophecy is a bit picky when it comes to detail,” Sakura answered, wiping her tears, “Especially if it related to die.”

“I know you already lost many people…”

“You have no idea,” Sakura cutted in.

“I know it very well,” Professor Dumbledore insisted, “Every night in my life I wonder if I can save their live, but both of us now, every plot key in the story need a sacrifice.”

“A sacrifice is not necessary, it’s just a price and not every price is a live of our dearest people,” Sakura debated, “But then Yuuko would like to give me a lecture about coincidence and fate,” She giggles, “Anyway how is the boy come here?”

“Oh…Hagrid’s bringing him.”

A flat “What?” from Sakura mouth came out, “I can’t believe this! I know you are crazy, but to give the clumsy Hagrid to…”

“I will trust him with my live,” Professor Dumbledore said.

“Okay, Can’t argue with that,” Sakura let it pass.

And then a low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky — and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.

Yes, the motorcycle that landed is huge, the one who ride it is even more so. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild— long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. “Damn it, Hagrid! You were even worse driver than Airi!” Another man, Japanese by his appearance, jumped down from behind the giant. He has messy hair and wears a black suit and trench coat. In his hand, there is a bundle of blanket.

“Oh…Kerry, I thought you already used to the worse,” The Giant, Hagrid, smirked.

“Hagrid, Kiritsugu” said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. “At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?”

“Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir,” said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. “Young Sirius Black lent it to me.”

“There are many eagles eye around him, Seriously, You expect me to babysitting him?” Kerry protested.

“Good night, Emiya-san,” Sakura greeted in Japanese.

“Good night to you to, Ojou-sama,” The man greeted back, “It’s occurred to me, shouldn’t you raise him with wizard rather than muggle? I know most wizard, mage and any magic user are tend to be harsh. But Muggle?”

“You can’t expect a baby to be a trained assassin like you, Kerry,” Prof. Dumbledore smiled.

“Is that where…?” Sakura whispered while pointing at the bundle of blanket, take it from Kiritsugu and then uncovering the bundle. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.

“Yes,” Said Dumbledore, “he will have that scar forever.”

“It’s a curse, isn’t it?” Sakura asked.

“Yes. A curse that a beginning and an end of everything,” Prof. Dumbledore nodded, “Well, Give him here, Prof. Li, We’d better get this over with.”

Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned towards the Dursley’s house.

“Could I…Could I say good bye to him, sir?” Asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over harry and give him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then suddenly Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.

“Shh...Dude,” Kerry hissed while patting the giant shoulder, “Don’t worry, you will met him again soon. I will make sure that or else I will shoot the Dursley.”

“Don’t be so harsh, Emiya-san,” Sakura warned, “but Yes, I will ask Tomoyo-chan stay around here to guard him.”

“T…Thanks,” Sobbed Hagrid, “But I c…c…can't stand it…Lily an’ James dead…An’ poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles…”

“Hagrid,” Sakura then patted his shoulder, “We will make sure he is okay.”

Dumbledore look at his staff dearly while stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry’s blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the four of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid’s shoulder shook, Sakura whispering some pray and spell for the boy safety, Kiritsugu blinked furiously while Dumbledore’s eyes suddenly seems darken for a second.

“Well,” Dumbledore finally said, “That’s that. We have no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations.”

“Yeah,” Said Hagrid in very muffled voice, “I’d best get this bike away. G’night, Kerry, Professor Li, professor Dumbledore, Sir.”

Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into live; with a roar it rises into the air and off into the night.

“I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor Li,” Said Dumbledore and a second later, he disappeared.

“I expect you will do something with this place, Professor Li,” Kiritsugu said, In Japanese. Sakura nodded and then pull out her star key, turning it into wand in the process.

“Please guard my back, Emiya-san,” She replied, also in Japanese.

“That’s what always gentleman does,” The older Emiya nodded.

For a full hour, the two stand there while a magical circle shone brightly under Sakura feet and Kiritsugu stand behind her, holding his gun inside his pocket, hoping no one will notice a bright light in front of the Dursley’s.

I personally think Dursley treatment is what make Harry Potter is Harry Potter. But the hatred of fan usually ignore them.

edited 5th Dec '13 2:48:33 PM by IllyasvielEmiya

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.
EvaUnit01 Fandom Heretic Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Fandom Heretic
#266: Dec 5th 2013 at 3:10:34 PM

Kiritsugu Emiya is in the same 'verse as Sakura Kinomoto/Avalon.

I... can't see that ending well.

IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#267: Dec 5th 2013 at 4:06:33 PM

Personally, I thought this as amusing. Give Kerry and Voldy more love!! and now if Nanoha join them, BLAST THEM WITH LOVE!!

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.
alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher from Ëa Since: Nov, 2009
Shadowed Philosopher
#268: Dec 6th 2013 at 9:25:26 PM

The scene looks interesting, if only for making me wonder what precisely is going on. Might be a fun thing later on. A few thoughts:

  1. The grammar and usage are quite clumsy. ISTR from your story on F Fnet that you're not a native speaker of English, so this is excusable. (Out of curiosity, what is your first language?) However, for best results in publishing stories, you'll want to work closely with a beta reader/editor who can help with that issue.
  2. There are a few clumsy moments where it seems you're trying to follow the canon scene fairly closely, but having it conflict with the reactions of the new characters. In those sorts of situations, I would recommend being less afraid to ditch the canon progression, if it's what the characters reacting in character would lead to. Otherwise, it comes off as forced.
  3. Though I can't comment on this rigorously without more text available, it seems somewhat as if you're just dumping crossovers into the story without thinking out their implications ahead of time. While this can lead to entertaining stories (glances aside at SCM), it usually works out better if a plan is made ahead of time regarding how the crossed works mesh and how their elements will affect the plot. This is a lot of work, and becomes more so as more crossovers are added; this is one reason why multicrossovers are rarer among more serious works.

Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#269: Dec 6th 2013 at 9:50:26 PM

Aha~ Thank's. 1. I am Indonesian, with a bit japan thrown in. Glad that no one heard me speaking english here. Its awful.

2. My plan is just thrown any character from anothr series to become a teacher in Hogwarts. that's why I still based it in canon. It is after all still in book one. I think I need to make framework of what happen in Book I so that I know what happen but write it differently. Another thing to add in my to do list.

3. I think I will stop after show all teacher teach their lesson. I am not confident enough to do this fic, really. so, I will post it here. is it allowed?

Thank's for the comment, Sir Knight Alethio

edited 6th Dec '13 9:51:35 PM by IllyasvielEmiya

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.
alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher from Ëa Since: Nov, 2009
Shadowed Philosopher
#270: Dec 6th 2013 at 10:57:31 PM

If you're doing that, then this is really more like a series of oneshots than a full fic. That's probably wise, at this point; the format is a bit more forgiving, takes less work, and lets you practice grammar, mechanicals and things like character voice. (Just posting it here is fine, most likely; there's various around who do the same.)

As regards getting better at English, all I can recommend is reading a lot and trying to get it by osmosis. Of course, this requires you to read fic that gets it right, but you can find that if you look for it.

Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
FurikoMaru Reverse the Curse from The Arrogant Wasteland Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
Reverse the Curse
#271: Dec 6th 2013 at 11:45:02 PM

Osmosis refers to the tendency to figure something out or take on the nature of something by being around it or immersed in it. Just so you don't have to run off and look up the word.

Not to be a bitch and assume you don't know it, but it's a tricky word, so I wouldn't be surprised if a non-native speaker had never seen it before.

edited 6th Dec '13 11:45:36 PM by FurikoMaru

A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
Swanpride Since: Jun, 2013
#272: Dec 7th 2013 at 12:05:28 AM

[up]It's a Greek word, and since it addresses something very specific, it is more or less the same one in every European language I know. I think it is more likely that someone doesn't know it because he or she didn't come across it than someone having trouble translating it. Those old words from the core languages, which are barely used, tend to stay more or less the same for ages.

But thank you, it was very thoughtful to remember that here are a lot of non-native speakers around.

IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#273: Dec 7th 2013 at 1:22:49 AM

Once ago, I doubt that chatting, watching eng-subbed anime, reading non-translated novel and fanfiction will teach me proper English. Osmosis, right? I hope I can absorb more in this forum.

another snippet

Harry couldn’t believe this. He read the letter twice, then thrice. Harry than look at the two people who sit in the Dursley’s living room. A young woman with long brown hair and a young man with dark brown hair. Both of them are obviously Asian.

The first time they come, angering Uncle Vernon in the process, the man proceed to beat the fat man with a move Harry only see in the Asian Kung-Fu Movie. And then the woman pull a wand from nowhere and throw a card, touch it with the tip of the wand and suddenly the entire Dursley Family fall a sleep.

“So…Magic is real,” Harry began to listing what just happen, “And you are a wizard, and By accidents, I am also a wizard and you come to kidnap me?”

“Silly,” The young man laughed, “Of course not! You are not ‘By Accident’ a Wizard. You are a wizard since your birth. Don’t your parents tell you?” He then blinked, “Oh, sorry.”

“Harry,” The woman then spoke, “I will tell you one secret,” The Woman smiled, “The World is not as narrow as your room in the cupboard. Come with us and claim your right as wizard. You would surprised just how many kind people in this world.”

“Not all of them,” The Man retorded, “But, Yes. There are many people. So, you come?”

The man offered his hand. Harry still looking at the two strange people, don’t know what to do and thought if they are kidnapper. But then again, kidnapper won’t ask nicely and beat Uncle Vernon as easy as that.

“Who are you?” Harry asked.

“Li Sakura and Li Syaoran,” The Woman asked while pointing at herself and then the man, “We are teacher in Hogwarts,” and then a smile.

That’s enough make Harry sure everything will be okay. An a place where someone actually smile to him must be good. But then Harry’s eyes fall on the Dursley family.

“Oh, don’t worry about them. Now get your thing and we will go!” Sakura said excitedly, almost like an elementary school goes to trip.

But Harry nodded quickly and back to her cupboard. A minutes later, he bring a small bag contained by a handed-down clothes from Dudley and reaching Syaoran hand. Time to leave this damned place, Syaoran thought. And maybe punch Dumbledore in the face someday.

Sakura then hold Harry’s hand and then smiled to Harry again. A second later, they are disappeared from the Dursley’s.

Somewhere, The Headmasters of Hogwarts feel something wrong coming.

So, in Diagon Alley, He need to buy a wand, a cauldron, a robe, a book. any list to be added or important scene to write on? I just remember Harry's meeting with Malfoy and Hagrid goes to bank.

edited 7th Dec '13 1:24:08 AM by IllyasvielEmiya

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.
FurikoMaru Reverse the Curse from The Arrogant Wasteland Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
Reverse the Curse
#274: Dec 7th 2013 at 2:20:51 AM

It's a Greek word, and since it addresses something very specific, it is more or less the same one in every European language I know.
Which would mean something, if Illya-Em weren't Indonesian-Japanese. tongue

A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
IllyasvielEmiya Illyasviel Emiya from Un-administrated world #137 Since: Sep, 2013
Illyasviel Emiya
#275: Dec 7th 2013 at 2:32:53 AM

I thought Osmosis is science phenomena, I never heard it used as sentence before

I am not English Native speaker, But that doesn't stop me from writing in English.

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