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Sexism and Men's Issues

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MOD NOTE: Please note the following part of the forum rules:

If you don't like a thread, don't post in it. Posting in a thread simply to say you don't like it, or that it's stupid, or to point out that you 'knew who made it before you even clicked on it', or to predict that it will end badly will get you warned.

The initial OP posted below covers it well enough: the premise of this thread is that men's issues exist. Don't bother posting if you don't believe there is such a thing.


Here's hoping this isn't considered too redundant. I've noticed that our existing threads about sexism tend to get bogged down in Oppression Olympics or else wildly derailed, so I thought I'd make a thread specifically to talk about discrimination issues that disproportionately affect men.

No Oppression Olympics here, okay? No saying "But that's not important because women suffer X which is worse!" And no discussing these issues purely in terms of how much better women have it. Okay? If the discussion cannot meaningfully proceed without making a comparison to male and female treatment, that's fine, but on the whole I want this thread to be about how men are harmed by society and how we can fix it. Issues like:

  • The male-only draft (in countries that have one)
  • Circumcision
  • Cavalier attitudes toward men's pain and sickness, AKA "Walk it off!"
  • The Success Myth, which defines a man's desirability by his material success. Also The Myth of Men Not Being Hot, which denies that men can be sexually attractive as male beings.
  • Sexual abuse of men.
  • Family law.
  • General attitudes that men are dangerous or untrustworthy.

I could go on making the list, but I think you get the idea.

Despite what you might have heard about feminists not caring about men, it's not true. I care about men. Patriarchy sucks for them as much as it sucks for women, in a lot of ways. So I'm putting my keyboard where my mouth is and making a thread for us to all care about men.

Also? If you're male and think of something as a men's issue, by golly that makes it a men's issue fit for inclusion in this thread. I might disagree with you as to the solution, but as a woman I'm not going to tell you you have no right to be concerned about it. No "womansplaining" here.

Edited by nombretomado on Dec 15th 2019 at 5:19:34 AM

Kostya (Unlucky Thirteen)
#16426: Jan 29th 2016 at 7:15:10 PM

In the US manslaughter typically means you killed someone accidentally.

AnotherDuck No, the other one. from Stockholm Since: Jul, 2012 Relationship Status: Mu
No, the other one.
#16427: Jan 29th 2016 at 7:28:03 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Check out my fanfiction!
hellomoto Since: Sep, 2015
#16428: Jan 29th 2016 at 7:50:25 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Oroboro Since: Nov, 2011
#16429: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:03:31 PM

Edited by Oroboro on Nov 10th 2024 at 9:38:19 AM

wehrmacht belongs to the hurricane from the garden of everything Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
belongs to the hurricane
#16430: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:15:27 PM

Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil is not that helpful in this discourse. Obviously the horrible violent rapes we see in fiction are truly despicable, but most rapes don't happen that way, I think. We end up with a skewed perception of what the event "should be like" that helps nobody.

hellomoto Since: Sep, 2015
#16431: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:22:44 PM

edited 29th Jan '16 9:35:11 PM by hellomoto

wehrmacht belongs to the hurricane from the garden of everything Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
belongs to the hurricane
#16432: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:24:42 PM

Yes, an education about consent and the importance of non-verbal cues, and possible reasons for partners to not react would do wonders, I think.

It's better to err on the side of caution than potentially do something you'll feel REALLY bad about afterwards.

edited 29th Jan '16 8:25:01 PM by wehrmacht

hellomoto Since: Sep, 2015
#16433: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:29:36 PM
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AnotherDuck No, the other one. from Stockholm Since: Jul, 2012 Relationship Status: Mu
No, the other one.
#16434: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:32:49 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Check out my fanfiction!
NativeJovian Jupiterian Local from Orlando, FL Since: Mar, 2014 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Jupiterian Local
#16435: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:33:15 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Really from Jupiter, but not an alien.
Silasw A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#16436: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:40:45 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
hellomoto Since: Sep, 2015
#16437: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:45:10 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Silasw A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#16438: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:52:50 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
NativeJovian Jupiterian Local from Orlando, FL Since: Mar, 2014 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Jupiterian Local
#16439: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:55:26 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Really from Jupiter, but not an alien.
Silasw A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#16440: Jan 29th 2016 at 8:59:41 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
hellomoto Since: Sep, 2015
#16441: Jan 29th 2016 at 9:00:28 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
NativeJovian Jupiterian Local from Orlando, FL Since: Mar, 2014 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Jupiterian Local
#16442: Jan 29th 2016 at 9:17:16 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Really from Jupiter, but not an alien.
Silasw A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#16443: Jan 29th 2016 at 9:21:07 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
AnotherDuck No, the other one. from Stockholm Since: Jul, 2012 Relationship Status: Mu
No, the other one.
#16444: Jan 29th 2016 at 9:25:54 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
Check out my fanfiction!
Silasw A procrastination in of itself from A handcart to hell (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
A procrastination in of itself
#16445: Jan 29th 2016 at 9:29:13 PM
Thumped: Please see The Rules . This is a warning that this post is the sort of thing that will get you suspended.
“And the Bunny nails it!” ~ Gabrael “If the UN can get through a day without everyone strangling everyone else so can we.” ~ Cyran
shimaspawn from Here and Now Since: May, 2010 Relationship Status: In your bunk
#16446: Jan 29th 2016 at 9:31:25 PM

Rape Apologia is explicitly against the forum rules. Continuing this shall get you banned.

Reality is that, which when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. -Philip K. Dick
Ninety Absolutely no relation to NLK from Land of Quakes and Hills Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: In Spades with myself
Absolutely no relation to NLK
#16447: Jan 29th 2016 at 10:18:49 PM

...How was this rape apologia? This seemed to be a discussion on the nature of consent, nothing more.

Dopants: He meant what he said and he said what he meant, a Ninety is faithful 100%.
murazrai Since: Jan, 2010
#16448: Jan 30th 2016 at 5:12:36 AM

Perhaps I am lucky that I stayed away from the discussion.

On another topic, I am disappointed that my brother-in-law was not given paid leaves for taking care of my elder sister who is having her first baby. My country's private sector pretty much denies any working fathers such rights. Public servants get a week, but that is obviously not enough, given that women are traditionally having rest for at least one month for recovery.

What is the situation in other countries? Does working fathers have rights of leaves for the purpose of maternity care for their spouses and children?

Victin Since: Dec, 2011
#16449: Jan 30th 2016 at 6:45:23 AM

Huh. Something happened while I was asleep.

[up]I think it's five days here. Oh, your baby was born on the weekend? Okay, alright. Three days.

However I think my city increased the paternity leave of public workers up to 30 days. So that's a very small advance, but one, nonetheless.

shimaspawn from Here and Now Since: May, 2010 Relationship Status: In your bunk
#16450: Jan 30th 2016 at 6:57:18 AM

The US is 12 weeks unpaid leave for mothers with no guarantee you won't be fired in many states. 0 for fathers.

Reality is that, which when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. -Philip K. Dick

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