MOD NOTE: Please note the following part of the forum rules:
The initial OP posted below covers it well enough: the premise of this thread is that men's issues exist. Don't bother posting if you don't believe there is such a thing.
Here's hoping this isn't considered too redundant. I've noticed that our existing threads about sexism tend to get bogged down in Oppression Olympics or else wildly derailed, so I thought I'd make a thread specifically to talk about discrimination issues that disproportionately affect men.
No Oppression Olympics here, okay? No saying "But that's not important because women suffer X which is worse!" And no discussing these issues purely in terms of how much better women have it. Okay? If the discussion cannot meaningfully proceed without making a comparison to male and female treatment, that's fine, but on the whole I want this thread to be about how men are harmed by society and how we can fix it. Issues like:
- The male-only draft (in countries that have one)
- Circumcision
- Cavalier attitudes toward men's pain and sickness, AKA "Walk it off!"
- The Success Myth, which defines a man's desirability by his material success. Also The Myth of Men Not Being Hot, which denies that men can be sexually attractive as male beings.
- Sexual abuse of men.
- Family law.
- General attitudes that men are dangerous or untrustworthy.
I could go on making the list, but I think you get the idea.
Despite what you might have heard about feminists not caring about men, it's not true. I care about men. Patriarchy sucks for them as much as it sucks for women, in a lot of ways. So I'm putting my keyboard where my mouth is and making a thread for us to all care about men.
Also? If you're male and think of something as a men's issue, by golly that makes it a men's issue fit for inclusion in this thread. I might disagree with you as to the solution, but as a woman I'm not going to tell you you have no right to be concerned about it. No "womansplaining" here.
Edited by nombretomado on Dec 15th 2019 at 5:19:34 AM
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It brings to mind the stories of boys being bullied and having their sexuality questioned for going into cheerleading.
I mean, what? A guy chooses to go into a sport where his teammates are likely to all be pretty, athletically fit girls running around in questionably modest clothing, and his classmates wonder if he's gay for doing so? I understand that he might be—basically anyone past puberty who hasn't been castrated might be gay—but the odds are raised when he's constantly in close physical contact with female athletes rather than male ones?
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Are you referring to the Westermarck effect?
I think it has more to do with gender reductionism—that is, one gender being "reduced" to a level that is normally reserved for another. For example, ultra-masculine guys tend to have an extremely harsh reaction to displays of male sexual objectification. When I worked in porn, I saw this reaction all the time; it was just fine to do a close up on a woman's "O-face" or body parts, but if you did it to the male, dudes went ape shit.
It's why male beautification (makeup, revealing/tight clothes) is called "gay". It has little to do with the idea that the other person is gay (although, that is often used as an insult) and more to do with the sexual insecurities of the observer.
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A lot of people misunderstand that theory. <_< And, the implications of it. -_-
Basically, you need to be raised with another closely (as in, shared accommodation, day-in-day-out proximity, the works) from the early years until about the age of 8 for significant lengths of time (will vary by person and situation by situation). It doesn't take into account parental-type bonds formed by much older siblings to younger ones (say, those with 12 year age-gaps) or other stuff.
And, it certainly doesn't involve kids going to Kindergarten together and meeting up only on school days and the occasional afternoon or afternoons during the week. <sighs> It's a variable phenomenon, and the statistical basis for it is actually not all that proven (although, it does crop up enough to suggest it is a trend... just not a concrete thing).
edited 10th Aug '13 12:49:50 PM by Euodiachloris
I would say so, in terms of the article itself. The name of the article however, is a bit understated, I think compared to what it would have been if it happened to a woman. "Danny Brown sexually assaulted on stage" would have been more in style.
Don't read the comments if you want to think it's good. Lot's of "It was to be expected, but whatever, cry assault".
This a perfect case of "Men always consent" and reluctance from men to do anything, because we are told that we can't touch women. Because, like said in article, he was afraid that would be constructed as "racism"... which it would have been, trust me.
So... What are some male stereotypes that get on your nerves? And what are some ways you think they could be solved?
Personally...As the son of a vegetarian, the idea that Real Men Eat Meat really irritates me.
"Please crush me with your heels Esdeath-sama!Guys are Slobs and Men Can't Keep House bother me. Those led to a lot people I knew in college shaming each other for being too clean because that made them gay and that was terrible. [insert eye roll here]
Reality is that, which when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. -Philip K. Dick
Both of those bother me as well. I've always been the cleaner and neater one in every partnership I've been in. As to the impact of neatness on masculinity, well...I just view it as an extension of a guy's responsibility to know how to fix things. A dirty room is a problem, know how to fix it.
Well, odds are, at least one part will work. You're very likely way taller than me. So, you're doomed to top-shelf duty, regardless.
The one trope that bugs me is Real Men Wear Pink. It's as if you've got to be manly in almost everything else you do, in order to "get away" with something "not manly". <_< What gives? :/
edited 1st Sep '13 1:15:39 PM by Euodiachloris
Knowing how to fix your vehicle is a good skill to have if you own a vehicle, regardless of the Y chromosome. Mechanics are expensive as shit.
edited 1st Sep '13 2:24:05 PM by TobiasDrake
My Tumblr. Currently side-by-side liveblogging Digimon Adventure, sub vs dub.Granted, but as stereotypes go, it's one of the more positive ones. "Men know how to fix things."
Ever been in an Ace Hardware? They have a popcorn maker set off to the side to give your wife something to do while the men talk shop. That's spectacularly offensive.
Personally, I don't quite understand getting all up in arms over the fact that people think highly of you. It's still a prejudice, but I'm kind of okay with people just assuming I'm smarter than I am.
edited 1st Sep '13 3:32:41 PM by TobiasDrake
My Tumblr. Currently side-by-side liveblogging Digimon Adventure, sub vs dub.Assumed competency is damaging in the same way that assumed incompetency is - although assumed competency invites much more anger from other people (assumed incompetency tends to invite more 'being talked down to' than anything). If you're a guy and you can't do something that guys should /clearly/ be able to do because they're men then there absolutely /must/ be something wrong with you - you're letting down the whole gender with your inability to do something that any /real/ guy should be able to do.
η β πWell, black men are often viewed as physically powerful and well endowed, yet we are also perceived as dim-witted and predisposed toward crime. Similarly, Asian men are often viewed as intellectually adept, but in that same vein, they are viewed as effeminate and childlike. Positive stereotypes are tricky like that.
edited 1st Sep '13 3:58:03 PM by Aprilla
Getting back to cars, the one male stereotype that really bothers me is the idea that men can't drive safely. The assumption a man cannot turn an ignition key without becoming possessed by the urge to drive at twice the speed limit, shouting "POWEEERRRRR!" Generally, stereotypes about me don't bother me, but when they run over into active and legal discrimination, that's when I don't like them.
Interestingly, in my experience, women tend to be more averse to that stereotype and its consequences than men.
edited 2nd Sep '13 1:40:44 AM by abloke
The funny thing is both men and women have "bad driver" stereotypes depending on who you ask.
But as for the discriminatory treatment, insurance companies are look at statistics first ask questions never. I don't know how you'd convince them.
Share it so that people can get into this conversation, 'cause we're not the only ones who think like this.Men Are Uncultured always gets in my nerves to a remarkable extent.
"All you Fascists bound to lose."

Those who've been isolated from the other gender most of their childhood? Generally have issues and are quicker to blame misunderstandings on "women" or "men" rather than "people".