I know. It's just that...I never thought that MINE would end up like that, you know? I guess I am trying to accept the fact that there's nothing really exceptional about me, but what is nagging at the back of my mind is that I don't like the sound of it, and I think that there might be something special out there for me to do, but somehow I'm blowing it all by puttering around with my life.
This would be easier if there wasn't so much evidence that I AM an exceptional person. I was given the key to the city when I was twelve for saving a park from development by pointing out that a rare species lives there, I won a national art contest when I was eight, and I was one of three people in my hometown to get a score of 5 on the five AP exams that I took, yet now I'm nothing but an average student at an average college with almost nothing impressive to put on my resume. How did that happen? When did I become so damn ordinary that I can't even stand it?
And how do I put it...everybody wants to sit in the captain's chair, or at least on the bridge. I'm a Sulu or a Spock, not a damn Scotty...
edited 22nd Mar '12 8:45:49 PM by MyGodItsFullofStars
I should point out that not many people get to do what they want to do for a living. Not to ay that you shouldn't look for something that inspires you and fills you with joy, but it doesn't really have to be your job. Either way, go out, socialize, talk to people in class and otherwise, etc.
Routine starts when we start avoiding new people and breaking away from the ones we already know.
"My life is my own" | If you want to contact me privately, please ask first on the forum.
Not bad advice, though doing so probably means dropping a few of the obligations I have with the engineering and physics crowd. We've been meeting every night for almost three months now working on one particular project, so maybe I should put my foot down and say enough is enough I want to try new things and don't have time for all this right now.
It is never too late to make a change. Ever. If you're really dissatisfied with the situation, you can switch your major. Hell, if you could choose any time in your life to make a change, right now would be the best option.
Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-@Exelixi: not all of us shit money, it has to be said. Sure, it'd be nice if we could just switch majors and start again, but often times, the choice doesn't come to us.
He technically can do it, but doing it means starting college again, unless I misunderstand how the american system works. Either way, there's still the whole money thing.
"My life is my own" | If you want to contact me privately, please ask first on the forum.So applied or experimental physics, right? Or theory?
I vowed, and so did you: Beyond this wall- we would make it through.![]()
![]()
It's an issue of time more than money. College is expensive, but I've got a grant, and a family willing and capable of supporting me in the meantime. The problem is I'm nearly 30 years old (I didn't start college right out of highschool, and instead worked for my family for a time), and I worry that if I switch majors I won't be out of graduate school until I'm 40. That's not acceptable, really, because most people with my heart condition don't make it past 50. I want to leave something behind, you know, and I won't be able to do that if I putter my life away studying.
What I want to do is planetary science and ecosystem engineering. But that isn't all I had in mind, you know? I love the physical act of exploration, too, and the idea of doing something like exploring the geology of Mars first hand sounds wonderful.
edited 22nd Mar '12 9:35:24 PM by MyGodItsFullofStars
Ecosystems engineering sounds cool. Also seems like a field where you could do work in biology that also puts your knowledge of physics to good use. I think it might be worth it to spend the couple extra years in college, rather than be stuck with a job you don't like.
Plus, being a student in an area of study you enjoy can be fun in itself, even before you get your degree. If you enjoy biology, then by studying it in college, you'll get to do some of what you want to do right away, or at least relatively soon once you get into advanced material. Probably can do some field work or something like that with a professor at some point if that's what you're interested in.
Or you could make a contract with me and become a mathematics major! We definitely don't require your soul as part of the bargain!
![]()
. Don't get me wrong, I love my math major buddies, but you are a special breed. Maybe if I wasn't barely keeping my head above the water when it came to the calculus we use in physics I'd consider it.
Guess I'll just have to stop worrying about how short my life is going to be, and take the plunge. Maybe taking up a biology major can be my "taking risks" change that I think I need.
By the way, thanks all, you've kind of cheered me up and made me think about some steps I can take to get out of this rut.
edited 22nd Mar '12 9:49:03 PM by MyGodItsFullofStars
A physics degree is just about the most versatile scientific degree, and it definitely won't get you stuck or force you to get another degree. Especially with a minor in biology,
But I would not advocate turning the minor into a major: it would be a bit of a waste of time for you now. Instead, why not go directly for a Master's in something biology-oriented? It would be more challenging, it would take you less time, and after you finish you'd have more avenues.
Postgraduate education is far more flexible and rewarding anyway. You don't have to follow whatever education path somebody else designed, you get to design your own.
edited 22nd Mar '12 10:48:56 PM by Carciofus
But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.Part of becoming an adult is realizing that almost all of this sort of stuff that happened as a kid doesn't really matter anymore past the moment you graduate high school beyond being able to skip a couple 100 level college courses.
edited 23rd Mar '12 2:10:56 PM by Culex3
to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee

My brother and I had a recent phone conversation. It went something like this:
<My brother finishes telling me his wild stories> "So, what's new?"
Me: "Not much. I did some homework the other night..."
Brother: "Ohhhhh....uhm...you know, I have to get ready for work tomorrow. I'll talk to you latter...."
This made me realize: my life is boring. For the past three years, my physics major has taken up so much of my time, there hasn't been a chance to cultivate anything else. I don't know anybody outside of the physics department, my entire social life is based around meetings with the engineering team, and what little free time I have left tends to get spent browsing the internet or playing rpg games. I don't honestly know how I ended up like this, but now it really bothers me that my life has become so routine, and so mundane. And I don't even like physics, not anymore anyways, probably because I resent the subject for being so difficult and demanding. So what, exactly, have I been doing for the past three years, you know?
The problem is, I'm not sure how to fix things. I'm going to get a physics major - I'm only two classes short now, so it would be silly to change - and after that I'm pretty much stuck being a physicists for the rest of my life. A physicists who struggles with calculus, find engineering to be dull, and is unhappy with the situation but doesn't see a way out of it.
I just find myself looking back to when I first decided to become a scientist, and dreamed of one day walking on Mars. I was so obsessed with becoming an astronaut when I was a kid, so very eager, but the reality is that will never happen. I recently found out that I have a genetic heart condition, one that will disqualify me from any astronaut exams, and on top of that I lack the credentials and social skills to really win people over in such a competitive industry. I'm a B+ student, and B+ students don't get to ride a rocket to outer space - they get to sit behind a control panel and crunch numbers, at best.
So this stupid dream I've had my entire life is beyond me, and I spend my evenings alone, tapping away at a calculator while I work out some math problems. I'm unhappy, but I don't know what to do about it. Expand my biology minor to a major, and not get out of college until I'm 30? What then?
What do I do to break this monotony? Or should I just accept that I was destined for middle management at some engineering firm, marry an average girl and live out an average life with my average kids in a suburb somewhere? We can take a few days off every year and go rent a cottage by a lake, and every night on the lake I'll sit on the docks and stare at the stars and wonder what might have been, if only I had been a bit more daring.
What is the point of having wild dreams to reach for if they are impossible.