I die as Philosopher hits me, and my car crashes into the Portal shop and goes through the portal Philosopher came through, which traps it eternally in the portal.
I respawn in an explosives shop, then set up a small bomb to blow up the power cables leading to the Portal shop, but not damage the shop itself.
After starting it up, I run away as fast as I can.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
I run out of the Portal shop and strategically place a portal so that the car is sent flying toward the explosives shop.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.I get hit and the car explodes, but I manage to throw a bomb into the portal before I die, causing it to roll towards Dragon Geyser.
I respawn in Respawns R Us and take a moment to notice that Philosopher is there as well. Then I run at him.
We need more people. Right now it's only the three of us, as far as I can tell.
Going to wait for a reply from Philosopher before replying so that I can reply to both things at once.
edited 10th Jun '12 11:08:52 AM by Speedchesser
The Chew Toy of Gaming
((True. We need moar victims.))
I panic and kick the bomb back into the portal.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
I place a portal under Knife's feet and on the ceiling.
"The fact that you're standing in it and are still alive."
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
I place a portal on the (much higher) ceiling of the mall just before I die.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
I respawn in the Bio Shock memorabilia shop. After finding a human-sized Big Daddy drill, I then run out of the store and attempt to skewer Speedchesser with my newly acquired dental tool.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.Distracted, I fail to notice Dragon Geyser until it's too late and get killed.
I respawn in a giant shop (as in one that sells giants, not one that's huge) and let loose a giant to do some shop lifting.
edited 17th Jun '12 1:06:49 PM by Speedchesser
The dragon grabs my UFO, then tosses it like a Frisbee. Into the aforementioned acid shop.
I respawn in a time machine, then go back in time and steal a nail in the hopes that this affects the present somehow.
I'm not getting too ridiculous, am I?
edited 21st Jun '12 11:10:35 AM by Speedchesser
The Chew Toy of Gaming
THERE IS MP SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH RIDICULOUSNESS!
I run into a distraction shop to pick up some caltrops. Next, I go to an air cannon store to find an air cannon with a back-mountable pressurized air tank. Finally, I shove the caltrops into the air cannon and fire them at every living thing in the vicinity.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.The caltrops damage my dragon's wings and he plummets to the ground, unable to fly but still very much alive...and very, very angry. He charges at full speed towards the air cannon and swallows Dragon Geyser in one bite. Alas, a stray caltrop hits me in the head and I'm dead.
edited 22nd Jun '12 5:48:13 PM by resetlocksley
Fear is a superpower.
The Chew Toy of Gaming
Unfortunately, the dragon forgot to chew, so I pepper the dragon full of holes from the inside with the caltrop shooting air cannon. I then extricate myself from the corpse the way I went in.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.

I FINALLY find a portal gun, and place portals under Philosopher's feet and on the hood of Speedchesser's car.
Lampshade Hanging: It's a lifestyle.